61. I’m in LOVE with my best friend of 10 YEARS! Do I tell him how I feel?

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All the details were in the episode description and in the when seasons to bio. G'day, Tim Williams here from Playbook 11. If you're interested in Dream 11 and want help picking your squads with expert Aussie insights, we've got you covered. Form New Zealand international returns superstar Indian Premier League commentator Simon Dole joins me to preview all five Australia V Indian tests this summer to boost your chances of winning your Dream 11 contest. Can Virat wholly bounce back to form down under? Or will the paste duo of Cummins and Start prove too fast to handle?

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Melissa, are you a doctor? I want to be, but I'm not. I'm not a doctor either and we're not psychologists and we're not experts at anything. In fact, we just challenge all the shit. And we love giving you guys advice, but as we love giving you guys advice. Do not take what we're saying as gospel. If you do feel like you need to speak to somebody, please seek professional help.

Coming up on this week's episode of Wednesday's, George is the neighbor right now so she could give birth at any moment and we also chat about me missing Jamie's birthday weekend because of it. We also chat about Toby and Jamie's ex and what a deal breakers and relationship. And the dilemmas are juicy this week as we chat about our tinyies boyfriend watches porn every single time she goes down on him and we're giving our advice whether a tiny should get with her best friend or should leave it as the one that got away. Enjoy the episode.

Hello. Hi, guys. I am going to just be real with you because I can't contain this. My sister's in labor. She's in labor. How many hours into labor? Okay, so I'm going to give you the whole breakdown. So she was doing... It's Jamie's birthday on Sunday. Let's actually discuss this because... Well, it was Jamie's birthday yesterday. It was Jamie's birthday yesterday, so it's now Monday.

It was organised to go out to Scotland to see his granny, who we know and love if you listen to new rads in Scotland. However, why I agreed that I have no idea, considering my sister's studio was on Sunday. So in my mind, it's difficult to think about things in there. And in my mind, I was like, well, the baby won't come to a Sunday minimum. In my mind, she's coming Sunday. That's her due date. She's coming Sunday. And I was like, I'll be that Sunday morning.

Anyway, so I'm out there, the train station, and I get texts from my sister. I'm just going to, because we talk about this up, her mucus plug came out. I've never heard of the mucus plug before, until as you told me this. The mucus plug, I don't know what it is, but Barry and Eddie threw up, and apparently they look like autochees.

pink but like bloody ricotta cheese. Yeah, so if you're very young. And he went, oh, no. I didn't just imagine it. Georgia said his eyes literally like went like Mickey Mouse, they popped out of his face. Oh, bless him. I was funny or something. And she was like, oh my God. Surely they would talk, talk about that in 1980.

I don't think many people, a lot of people get away with not having to see their mucus blood. Oh, right. Here you go. A mucus plug is a thick, jelly-like collection of mucus that forms in a cervical canal during pregnancy. Right, so when that comes out, baby's coming, basically. Babies, basically. It's on its way. But I guess for some people, that would come out during birth. Absolutely. It's not even something people talk about because, you know, everything's coming out of you. Loads of, exactly. Got you.

So Edinburgh on my way, trains coming, boarding, boarding. I look at Jamie, tears coming on as I thought I was going to throw up. So I'm like, I need to stay, like I need to stay. So off I go with my suitcase, it has loads of chocolate in it. I'm ready to go for the weekend. I'm like, I have to say, by Jamie, have fun on your birthday. I can't be there. Off I go home, waiting, waiting, waiting, my mum's landing. It's all happening.

Nothing happens on Sunday. I then my sister's like, right, let's go for lunch. I'm because I can't just sit around twiddling our arms. Yeah. She suddenly is like, I want to go to hospital. She's got nervous. She just felt. Yeah. She just got nervous. She was like, you know what? I feel like she's not moving that. You know, she's got nervous. Yeah.

Oh, she goes to hospital four hours later, they induce her. So we're there for four whole hours, guys, the harrowing screens I had from these women giving birth. My eyes, a prick to water, my legs went, they gave way. They gave way at the job. If that was a channel, believe me, I would have fainted on the floor. And I'm there going, and all these women are about to give birth. George was like, shut the fuck up. And I also have period planes. I kept them.

I was like, you need to leave. Anyway, she gets induced, yes, say like 3.30 p.m. and she goes into labor straightaway, contractions. I don't know if that's a labor. Now she's in labor, like she's, her contractions have reached 100 because you get monitored on how. She says it's the most painful thing she ever done. But bearable, she's sold her another. Is she now being numbed?

No, not yet. They have to wait until you're certain about dilated before they can do that. Exactly. So basically she could give birth at any point. So I've not spoken to her since 10am now because I was sorry. Also, it's like, yeah, it's like, no, no, I will tell you when something's happening. It's like going to be the same. It can go on for a few days. They said it could take 72 hours. Can you imagine?

So anyway, at this point in time, I'm just heads all over the place, really. But I did see this gorgeous little new one, those so many new ones in the waiting garage, just looking at them, thinking, and all these boss arse bitches, mums. That's not a nice thing. Boss arse bitches, all these boss arse bitches, they were just so cool, like they just give them birth, this tiny human, and they're just like holding them so now. It's so, we were saying this, like it's so bonkers, however.

a baby and giving birth and being pregnant is like such a magical special thing, but it happens all the time. Like most women will go through it, do it. But it's just such a big deal, even though it happens at the time and it's a miracle. It's so funny. It's so weird. And what's also weird is that the guys just don't do it. They can't do it. There's nothing there, nothing. Why on earth are men more powerful in the world? Like they can't do the thing that recreates us.

Well, I think because maybe because it seemed to be more powerful, but I feel like with what we can do with nature, it's definitely more powerful like you, J.K. Yeah, but it's weird. It's all about perception, perception of power. But like back in the day, women had no, no, I'm not going to go into some feminist chat. But back then, you know what I mean? It did make me think.

I listen to them and scream. Well, I guess because the way they're doing that and from back in the day we would then do it and then just want the instinct to soon you have to keep your baby alive and feed them. So then the bloke would naturally be working from back in the day. That's just how it's developed. Now it's a different time.

now is a different time but like even from like I wanted like maybe back way back in the day like what about in cave men days well women more important than I guess they would be praised and the the men would be like don't worry you stay here I will go and do everything for you I'll go home or did they have 40 wives and they were all just like I don't know you know what I mean

Anyway, she's ready, she had her nails on, she had her hair done, she's off to the races, really. Oh my God, it's just crazy. Some of you've seen these videos of some girls, they go into, you know, those things that they put on their heads, it's like the heatless curls and they sleep with them. You're going to die because I just need you exactly what I was just going to say. Is she in there with that on her head? So many women are doing it. She goes night before. Yeah, so they wake up in the morning, baby's born for photos, they take their hair out, put their concealer on a boom, they look like they've had a blow dry.

That is so funny. I've seen that all image up. I was like, what are you doing? It's a real thing. I've just been sent one. I'm going to try to do it tonight, actually. It's so good. And was it fun it before? Yeah, I have. I have tried it a few times, but it's uncomfortable sleeping. It's like this great thing on the side you had.

I just don't think I'd know how to do it. Do you just wrap it around it? It's so easy. You literally just wrap your head around. And then tie it up a little. Yeah, yeah, so easy. I don't know why, but I'm really off put by doing it. I did no part of me. It's like slightly attractive. You should see the way I like it's a good form of contraception, all these like face tape things, all these like hateless girls at night. Like all these women sometimes like, I think these videos, I'm like, how has any of my friends like, are these girls having sex? Because it's like,

They take their mouths taped up, like they're... Melissa, you say that, but I look so disgusting every night it's coming. Maybe they can't even kiss, they have their mouth taped, like they have like these things around our heads. I can't kiss, I'm like, get the fuck off of me, I've got all my spot cream on me. I'm like, if you want to do that, we're not kissing. That's the state I are. But I do look really, I have a really weird problem where I can't, I have all my matching pajamas folded up and my pajama dresses. But I have to wear them, I'm matching, I literally have to wear the ugliest outfits at bed. Why? I don't know.

I'm still trying to maintain myself for Jamie and for the girls, but mostly for myself, I'm honest. Mine's all for myself, but then I do, I guess as a knock on effect, it is then also for my relationship because that's something that keeps me happy. I'm not going to lie, the reason I'm doing it is because all you fuckers keep doing it, so I've got to keep up with you. Like, could we all just fair game like nails and stuff? Could we all just fair game like no one would do anything and then ask that? We don't do that much.

I never get my hair done. I never style my hair. I hardly ever wear makeup unless I'm doing the podcast or I'm going up dinner or something. I get a lot of facials. Well, I don't actually. But that's the one relaxation purposes. I don't even get any facials. I don't know what I'm talking about. I could really do getting some more. But what I do do, I like pulling each other. I'd rather stop doing all that. And I go once a month for a lovely facial.

Are you safe at those two hours and you love it. I sleep, I really switch off. I absolutely love it. I mean, and I come out of there looking quite heinous, because I'm red from my feelings. That's actually nothing to do with my partner thinking that I'm more of a massage girl if I want to really, really indulge. That's my way of doing it.

I find it really hard to relax sometimes with massages. I think it's because I've got so much pressure on myself to relax. Yeah. And I'm like, just chill out, just chill out, just chill out. And also when it's hurting my muscles, I'm like, ah, ah, and then I can't relax.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've got to get in the habit of doing a massage. I mean, there have been times when I've done one a week. Yeah. And it really, really does things to you. Let me tell you. I have had really weird massage. If I told the listeners about that time that there was a guy who came around on the screen, that was the weirdest thing ever. And then the guy with the sweat, that was also. Oh, the drinking so I knew that's disgusting. Basically, just the listeners who knew I once had a massage and

A man came in, he didn't have a red, he laid me on my bed, and he got out of wooden spoon and started massaging my feet with a wooden spoon and my legs with a wooden spoon. Tap, tap, tap, mushroom. Did he say, like, explain, like, this is awesome. No, no, no. As he walked in, I thought,

And Jamie thought, it's just actually legit. Nothing was giving you, I am a masseuse, not that you can judge a bit by its cover, but it was all odd from the offset is what I'm going to say. So I was putting a practical joke on you. I will say, I just had a face gym before I came here today. That was lovely. And my boyfriend's not in the country right now, so it's nothing for him. Should we talk about that? How are we dealing about toasting here?

You know what? You get used to it after a week, and I'm going away tomorrow, which is lovely. That will distract. But two weeks is quite a long time. I don't know how people do long. Two weeks is a really long time. The first week, you know what? The first two days are actual bliss. The first day you're like, fourth day, you're kind of used to it, five days, six days a day. It's like you're used to it, but you really miss them at the same time. It's like weekends are tough, I think. The season is almost really easy because I was so busy. What did you do on Sunday?

I went to Richmond Park with my friends with a long walk, and then I had a lovely brunch, and then I had my nails done. It was a really nice Sunday. Really nice Sunday. Look, I won't lie. Sundays I like to spend on my own. Really no, I don't. I like to be with people the time.

I love to use Sunday as a day exactly how you did like nails. I mean, obviously bias, but when I say by my own, I mean, Jamie can come to, but I like me. Basically, it's like a doing day. I like to get my nails done. Yeah, there's bits and bobs to get done. Sassy, I don't like being alone. No, no, no, no. Oh, it's also like this thing of like, if other people are doing these on a Saturday and I'm not, I just get such a thing. And my God, I get none. I'm literally like joy.

What I will say, just going back to this whole, like, keeping yourself maintained for your relationship, pressure or whatever, and some people, like, let themselves go massively, I guess, in a sense, or they rely, like, some people do. I think, like, years down the line, they're not, like, married in the year two of marriage. I don't know. Some people, I think, the man just gives up, like, trying to look good, doesn't want to go to the gym anymore, whatever. Sometimes that happens to the girl, too. And I think maintaining

Magic is maybe the wrong word. But like attraction and blah, blah, blah. It's really hard when you're in a long-term relationship because like naturally it's not gonna fucking be the same as it was at the start. So you have to put effort into like take care of your relationship and yourself, I believe. I totally agree. And they do too. I don't think it's something we can go, oh, well, no, they love me. I'm just gonna, you know, something so for all day. I don't know, whatever. I try to that so unattractive, like that's not the guy I married to. I didn't know you to just sit on a sofa. It's like a slob and not shave your face. Totally agree.

I'm like, oh, and it's such a double standard because I do feel like as a woman, you'd be like, they should love me when I'm at my worst, which I do agree with, but then I'm also like, if you can love someone, but not be attracted to them. Yeah, if a man then gets to a really weird place that I've never seen before, and it's like staying like that for a really long time. And I'm like, hang on a minute, this is like not what I signed up for. I'm probably going to consider like popping off. Do you know what I mean? So it's a bit of a double standard, but if like,

A man was saying that to me about his wife, I'd be like, you're a fucking asshole. It's just so, it's really strange. It's an interesting topic. I think, look, they don't have to look a certain way, like as women get older, like our metabolism's changed, or we get great hair, but you just have to try and take care of yourself as the epitome of them. Like, I don't want a guy who is just not going to shave his head or clean or like dough his nails. Make enough of it with me. Like, you know, I want them to, like, scrub that out.

Quite early on, Jamie had, not that he does anything not to take care of himself, he takes great care of himself, but you know, just habits, like he broke the fourth wall in the sense that he was putting the door open. I was like, this is way too much. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, and he still does, but I do think some boys and girls make that mistake and think it's fine because they're comfortable. And I get that that is okay for some people, it's not okay for me. It's not okay for me. Don't fucking do it in front of me. I will never do it in front of you. I like to keep a little bit of mystery. I've never once watched it in front of you. He thinks I don't know that ever.

Yeah, I don't think I have intentionally infringing me. Well, obviously I haven't. Maybe in my sleep.

Right, listen, but he, that doesn't get like, I'm not repulsed by it, I've got used to that. So if he does that and I'm in bed and asleep and I can see he's gone to the loop, our doors are like really heavy slide, you have to push them in. They're really fucking annoying. It's not, it's not as easy. It's just closing a door. Like IP with the door opened the entire time. Got forbid I would, I don't even, I can't even poof, he's outside the room. Oh my God, neither. I still like the taps going on. The newlyweds listens to like, we hear a whole different story.

But listen, there are certain things, so like...

I hate, I cannot bear a boy picking, you know, I've got to think about nails and feet, hands and feet. I, if I see a boy like picking his tone out, like, just sound. Toby does that. Toby really upsets me and I've been like, why, I would never do that in front of you. You know, I don't find you attractive when you're doing that stuff. I literally have to say to you, you know, I'm really so, that's like an out, like you can poo with the door. That to me is disgusting. And it's disgusting. Like, I won't allow that in my house. And I don't want my children to like, see their dappies. I don't know. It's fucking fun. I know.

Fucking foul. It's so wrong. So anyway, that's like a real off thing for me. What are the things that you do? That's kind of the only off thing. And then recently I realized that he doesn't shower before getting into my bed after day. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm horrified. I never knew that because we have different showers. We don't have the same shower room. So when I hear him like washing his face when he's come home,

I think he's showering because then he gets into not in his like they get into his like comfy he's not shout his body and I find that hideous because then we're going to have sex if we did. My clean sheets are filthy disgusting. I my priority is sharing before that even if I've shared the morning I'm sharing before that.

Or the bidet gets used. Toby loves the bidet. If he's showered, post gym, and he's like, you know what, I showered at like 11 a.m. like I don't need to have another shower. I've just been working from home at the same time. Nothing dirty. That's fine. But he will use the bidet. Listen, it's not if it's the bidet. I don't know.

But if you leave it sitting at home, I'm fine with it, but if you're out and about in the London's... I disagree with you. ...mark what's with the smog. It's disgusting. It's found the bedsheets are filthy. Filling the green wall. And he's on that mopair getting all that done. I know. So that was another thing I said, no, no, we have to stop that because our marriage will break. It will break up. It's good to draw the line of what you're okay with and what you're not because they can't just carry on doing anything in front of us. I maintain a certain level

I'm not that picking my tone as I never would be. You know what, his farting's got kind of like that. No, he's going to hate it. He's going to hate it. It's got really quite bad.

as into the point where he like, do it and then and then I'll be upstairs and I go, heard that and he's like, how! And like, it's really loud and like sometimes it's like, it's really fucking stings. Okay, we're in bed. And he goes, oh, he calls himself Windy Newton if he's fucking fine. And he goes, he has, he goes, oh, Newton. And I'm like, oh!

And then the air purifier goes, it goes, it goes, and like turns itself on, because it can obviously get the sulfur or whatever the acid smell is. And it goes on crazy. Oh my god, I hear that. I know what you mean, the air purifier. Yeah, it turns itself on really loud, because it can, it can get the, it's getting like the, what is it? Like the toxins from his fucking.

Who? The pre particles out. The beautiful particles. And I was like, oh, good, you're going to give me pink eye. And so that's become a recent problem where I'm like, I'm obviously, that's not a deal breaker. But I'm like, please stop. But then he's like, if I hold it in, like, then I've got a rebad tummy ache. And I'm like, oh, my God. Why is he so gassy? We need to work that out just because I give him loads of cruciferous veg. But I don't, it doesn't make me guess. Yeah, but you don't get gassy over anything. Your stomach's weird. Your stomach just is really. I'm like, is that because I've got good gut?

Yeah, but most people do it. Or maybe you have no intolerances. I don't think you have any intolerances. But yeah, it will just be because you've got a good gut, but he will just be suffering. It's on a given, like, cauliflower, loads of broccoli, bean sprouts. He goes, he eats them. He goes, this is going to make me from.

I can't bear it. I don't mind. But if it smiles, it really does things to me like that. It's so exciting. I feel like I'm then breathing in pain. Exactly. I'm like, this is not nice now. This is gotta go. Hey, gorgeous girls. I need help. I'm in love with my best friend of 10 years. No way! 10 years.

A few years ago, we had a jungle night together, but it didn't go as any further as I didn't want to ruin the friendship. He was really hurt by this as he always had a thing for me and wanted to make a go of things. Do we think they slept with each other? Yeah. Night. A whole night. That's a shot.

Here's the dilemma. I'm 32 and I recently had my first baby. I got pregnant quickly having only been with my partner for four months. I never really felt he was the one as we're very different people. Oh my God. However, I do feel that everything happens to read him just before my son was born. I lost my mom. And through the most difficult time in my life, my beautiful boy has kept me going.

I find that my best friend is there for me in the ways my partner isn't. So she's still with her partner. Right. He just gets me. We have the same banter and he's so unsettling. I think there's always been suppressed feelings and that I've tried to ignore. The thing is my best friend is also in a relationship and has a two-year-old child. We're both unhappy in our relationship and we've recently become a lot closer. We admitted that we have feelings and we could see each other together and even joke that we could get married if we're both still single at 14.

However, I don't know how to navigate what to do next. I know I'm not happy, but I feel so guilty splitting up with the father of my child. Do you think I'm being hasty and I should try and make things work with him? Or shall I follow my heart and explore things with my best friend? That's really hard. You're being right. This sounds like a movie. I'm worried that the connection with your current partner isn't great. And that's made you then fancy your friend. Yeah, it's not your friend. He had the opportunity with your friend before you said no.

And like, you know, if you've had sex for a long time. Yeah, also, as a guy, you have sex on and you've fallen off. So like, I don't know if everyone's the same, but like most of us have that. Like, so the fact that you really didn't. Yeah, to some extent you do. Like, if you were going to fall off with them, it would have happened then. Do you know what I mean?

So she, if you then hang out all the time, it would have happened again, that you would have had sex again. That worries me. I think that you're not happy with your current partner and your best friend. You obviously love in some capacity because you love your friends, but I don't know if you're in love with it.

But I guess when you're at this stage of life, you're thinking more about like, oh my God, like you're my life, like you're my soulmate in a sense. And like you get me and like, yeah, we laugh together and blah, blah, blah. But does she want to have sex with her? Is she wanting? If she looking, you need to ask yourself all these questions. It's not as simple as like, oh, you know, we have a laugh together and he gets me better than my current partner.

I definitely think that, you know, if you're not happy with your current partner, then you and him shouldn't be together. And there's nothing worse than a child being brought up in a, like, obviously, try and make it work. But it sounds like you've never loved him or been in Tim. And, you know, that these things happen. And I think better to be happy than being an unhappy relationship and the child picks up on that sort of thing. I agree. But I understand working for it because you want to keep your family together and understand all of it. It's really difficult.

It throws such a spanner and there's a child in the mix because you just can't be that selfish anymore. The child wasn't in the mix. You wouldn't be with your current partner anyway. Let's just say that as well. I'm guessing that's the reason why you guys have just stuck it out and they're still together.

I think we have to take things back to basics. I think you need to, yeah. The best, the thing that going on with the restaurant, I don't think that's actually something for you to follow your heart with. You haven't once said like, it's nearly realized how much I'm truly enough with him. Like, I really want to leave my partner. It's like, none of that. You're just like, yeah, we have a laugh. It's not enough to break up his relationship with his partner. And like, they've got a trial together too. I would explore the thought of being single.

and finding like your true soulmate that you think you're going to be happy with. Me too. That's the route that I would go down if I was you. But it's hard when someone's like, so help them when they're like in front of you. And you're like, because I don't know that there's, we have this weird thing about loneliness. Like some girls like won't leave someone unless they know that there's someone else there for them. Because it's like the fear of being alone, I totally get that. Like I feel like we all have that to a certain degree. But you can't make it.

be the reason that you stay. Also, it's already found your partner, you know? It's not fair, and it's not fair on anyone to do that. Also, we really don't want to break up this other situation with this other relationship, but they're not happy either. But they've just had a new baby. I think marriages or relationships go through hard times and you've got this new little baby. You're both not sleeping. You're both not making time for each other. Like relationships are really hard, particularly in those early stages of childhood. I think it's really difficult.

So if he's got no advice this one, she just goes, she's just playing with her, she's going, fucking difficult. It's really hard. We need to help. Help a girl out. Okay, right, let me think what I would really advise. Let's put a scenario in the head. I want you to give a absolute full blast go at being, I want you to have sex with your partner every day. Let's try and reconnect with him. Let's try and get the romance going. If you are it cut out by him, it's time to leave. But let's just not think, let's not use the best friend as backup.

That's what it feels like. That is exactly, I couldn't have said it better myself. Let's not use the best friends back up. And also, let's have consideration for obviously your child. But I think also we need to compartmentalize the baby in your relationship in a sense. Because when you're happy, your baby will be happier. And you co-peppy will come up really well. So I think that being with your partner doesn't necessarily like, this isn't like,

what you have to be doing. Do you know what I mean? So I think that you need to just like open your eyes and your options and just think what's going to make you really happy. But yeah, don't use the best friend of the back up. Yeah, I just think like the best friend, boy and girls being best friends. There's just, I just never hear good stories. Yeah, it scares me. I'm trying to think of I've had a boy. I've got a boy best friend and I'm fine with that too, actually. I do. Will is, but he's gay. So.

Yeah, that's so fine. You're in the clear with that one. Yeah, I'm in the clear with mine too, because I'm our best friends with my best friends fiance, like I'm a bridesmaid and she's become much closer friend to me.

through the years by mostly and he knows, but that you do hear these stories and they do terrify me slightly, like I'm not sure how I... It's been jealous of people who have the best friend. I think I'd fall in love with them and have you. You just wouldn't be best friends with them. Yeah, I think I'd only be best friend. You would then date them and then they wouldn't be your friend.

That's the way that that goes. Yeah, two of his best friends were just a boy and a girl, and that don't hook up. It's such a weird, don't know. Do you know anyone? No, and I'm racking my brain. Have I ever been actually really good mates with a boy if I've not fancied him a little bit? I've always fancied him a little bit. But when you're at school, I think I went to North Wales. You suggested maybe the difference. That's the difference. Our friendship group is very boy-garmic. There's so many boys and girls that's best friends. That's best friends.

Yes. And that we were really good friends from such a young age, you know, in class together and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So that is where those friendships come from. I know what you mean though, like in this stage of our lives, the only friendships that I have with, with guys are like through my friends, husbands or boyfriends. So.

Yes, it's weird. It's weird. Mind you, I've got a nice relationship with Jules from Meantel, so he definitely never fancied him, and he definitely never fancied me, and we have a really nice friendship. We're friendly with Miles, we're friends with Miles, and there's nothing, you know, and he's always been like a younger brother to you. Oh my God, yeah, it's true. I was, oh my God. And nothing ever happens with him, and I'm not really meant to get like that. She really, really, really so close that we never fancied. Neither of us. Yeah, you just knew it was so protonic.

I mean, it kind of upset me because I knew he never fancy me. Why don't you fancy me? I kind of want to reject you. It's kind of like eco-breathing, isn't it? I'm not really in there. Because you're like, it just makes things take like a bit of a like turn, like when you know they fancy you. Oh, God, now we just can't be friends now because it's so gross.

Yeah, it's so true. OK, so sorry. I think we gave advice. I think that that was our advice. Please follow up with us because I'd love to know what would happen. And I also feel like we need a little bit more information on how you're truly, truly feeling about your best friend. I think you need to really think I think you basically are in a frantic frenzy. You keep mentioning your age, which is scary, and I get it, and people have this weird blueprint, but there's no right or wrong. You can get married when you're 80. You don't have to get married at all.

You know, I guess it's giving context to like this. You're not, you're not just like, yeah, I know where you're going with it, but I just think that's a scary blueprint that we all have and we all live by and we shouldn't society makes everyone think. Oh my god, you're 32. Like you can't break up. I guess she's just being like, I'm not 21 anymore. Like the decisions I make do have a slight more consequence also because she has a child, which I do get.

No, but my point is is like they don't know. I know you mean being lonely shouldn't be the reason like we shouldn't be thinking I'm 30. Yeah, but we all do. Yeah, no, I get it hard. Okay, we're ready to move on.

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Okay, dilemma too. I have this slightly odd dilemma. I've always wanted to keep porn from being some big taboo topic. Oh my God, I'm in. So now and then, my partner and I would bring it into the bedroom to spice things. Oh, I haven't got anything like that. No, I haven't, but I have heard like... People do all the time. I can imagine it, really. I can see why people do. Yeah. Just, no, I would be too much. Basically... It's a no for me. It's a no for me.

But here's the things, but here's where the things got tricky. Every time I go down on my partner, he'd start watching porn his phone to get himself going. No, no, no, no, no, no. See, this is what I mean. Tricky is slippery slope. I finally had to say something. It just felt sad.

It was like he was getting off, it was like he was off in his own world, imagining someone else in my face. He got it, understood, and agreed to stop. Then flash forward to a few more weeks. I planned this romantic weekend getaway, wanting us to just be together. At one point while we were cozy in bed, I slipped under the cup as hoping that this time it would be just us two. But as I came up, I caught him red-handed watching, I'm sorry.

Is he for real? Is he for real? So you're going down on him. You're a very generous girlfriend. It sounds like you suck his dick a lot. I know. And then you come up and he's just watching porn on his face. Devastating. That's a dumb one. I would... It's like a weird thing because it's crossing the barrier of like... Not cheating, but like... I don't know, it's... It's really... I totally understand this. I totally understand this. Okay.

I didn't say anything at the time, I was disappointed, but I just left it. I get that because you don't want to make things like... No, no. Oh, do you trust me? I'm saying something. I know I would say something. That phone is being thrown across a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be here. I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? You're a fucking perv. Yeah. Then another flash forward. I did something I hadn't done before. I looked through his history. Oh, my God. I don't know. I wanted to know exactly what he'd been watching. Turns out he was looking up a particular...

star with a very different body type to mind. Okay, this is also really the weird thing about porn, because I'm like, do you think that's going to make a difference? Like he's looking at someone specifically that looks really different to you. I don't know if that's how it works. Honestly, it really hurt me. I felt almost silly. Like, maybe I shouldn't be so hurt, but I couldn't help it. Now I'm left to beating. Do I bring this up or take it out?

bring this up and talk it out. Or as weird as it sounds, do I channel this feeling as some kind of gym motivation? Oh my god. This is like leading you into a toxic... No. No. This is making you not feel like you love yourself. You're like, I need to go change my body in the gym. You're perfect. You're amazing. Love yourself and be comfortable and confident in yourself. And I can so imagine how this has completely rocked your world because that would fucking send me into a frenzy.

I feel like he's having the fair with the girl. Yeah, she doesn't. It's also annoying that it's a specific one over and over again. It was no different random porn. You'd probably just be like, you've got a bit of a porn addiction. Like, can you start? No, that's really painful. But this is, I get it because it's like the, it's like, it's the same in my mind as someone searching someone on Instagram. Yeah. And if you do the same person over and over and over again, then you're like, what the fuck? You just fucking fancy this girl. Like, what the fuck?

Also, it's just so disrespectful. You asked him not to do that. I know. So, how fucking... I'm so angry about this. You just couldn't help himself. No, it's really hideous. Could you bear to not imagine the full star? For me, this is a dumpful of fans. I think it needs to be an actually a very, very serious conversation. Like, look, there has to be a line drawn. There's obviously something going on here. It's now making me feel insecure. I now don't want to suck your dick because you're thinking about this other porn star. Also, is he ever going down on you? Yeah, I'm sorry. This sounds like a very one. I'm not sure about this.

I know, you need to give him an ultimatum, like it's me or the porn, and ultimately you've helped me so much, I'm not sure if I actually can maybe get over this. It's making me doubt the way I look. That's not right. Also, can I just say there's nothing wrong with you wanting to go to the gym and like spur out some fucking anger and energy on this? Absolutely. If that's going to get you like into a place of

feeling better about like what he's doing to you don't feel like you need to change your body if you're like I'm just gonna get in the gym feel fucking great about myself regardless for me for me yeah not not for him but it's a really good way to channel anger and like anxiety stress I really do think that

But this is like a really gross, and it might actually give me confidence to be like, I don't need him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just make yourself feel better. 100%. So do you think that's actually a good, good advice? This is seedy. This is wrong. This is rank. I'm not okay with it. For me, that's damn poor. I'm sorry. If I, being married, genuinely was giving Jamie head and I came up and he was watching porn, I would literally genuinely be like, we might have to get it.

I think it's not just a one-time thing. This is like, this has happened a lot of times and it's not the same porn straight over and over again. It's really bad. It's like, if you're watching it together, it's really different, but it's like really fucking disrespectful to do that. It's so bad. Like, on Instagram.

I really genuinely think this is not good. I'm also quite fascinated that she's clearly, like, really under the covers, not looking at his face, I was giving him head. I've never had that. What do you mean? You look at that face. Well, no, I'm not looking at their face, but I'm never, like, enclosed under the covers.

Oh, she's obviously just gone under the covers. She's fully gone under the covers, so you can't see what's going on or you don't know what's going on. Well, I pull the covers over. Well, nothing's ever, I guess. I'm like the covers are off. If he was starting to do it, I would notice it immediately. Whereas he's sort of like doing it all in secret because you're under the covers. Like the whole thing's just really weird. I know exactly what you mean.

Although I do think the covers sing that I have gone on before in my life. Of course, everything. Yeah. It sounds like it's having every single time that it's like a surprise and you come back up and he's like, Paul again. I'm like, I'm just like, how hot on the cover? I know. I feel really close to it. Maybe we remove the covers. Maybe that is the also, maybe that's the thing that's allowing him to get away with these selfish outcomes.

It's really difficult because like, I had to be honest, like, are you addressing it in the moment? Because I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? And if you to make him feel like, Oh, this is really toxic. You need to make him feel slightly ashamed about doing it. I think we're having an intimate moment. I'm your fucking girlfriend. Like we're meant to be another on this amazing getaway weekend and you're watching a fucking porn star over and over again whilst I'm sucking your dick. Yeah. Do you want me to do the same thing? Right? Bend me over and I'll get my favorite. Yeah.

Man, lots of good examples. I was like, get my favourite. I'll get Brackley Cooper out. Yeah. I'm a star is born. And there you go. Yeah. See how he feels. I would do that. You need to really put that scenario in his head. You can't understand. Like, no. Like, this is really not OK. And the reason it's not OK is because if you didn't care and you were like, I don't really care, but do you think it's normal? Like, it doesn't affect me at all. I would like, if you don't get on with it, this is affecting your confidence. And it would affect mine. I really, really don't like it.

It's affecting mine now, even though I know that boys, when I'm not around, when we're not around, they're gonna watch porn, we've had this conversation. To me, if they're watching porn, well, no, I'm not American, give a fuck about it. As long as it's not super weird when you can get, I know there's those weird cartoon porn stuff that happens in the world now. However, if he was watching the same girl on Googling X, Y, Zad, I would be devastated even if he's away in part of it. What's that really famous porn stuff that we're on, Emily Raps' podcast? Pretty beautiful. She's so stunning. What's her name? She's muddled for...

like diesel and stuff and actually walk through these maggots now. Like if he was actually her. You know what? It's also difficult that the world of OnlyFans is also difficult for this because it's like all these celebrities that were just celebrities or girls on Instagram and now also basically doing porn for all of our boyfriends to go and look at if they want and you're like for fuck's sake. How do we then feel about that? It's really lovely. And if they were doing that over and over again, to me that is like a dump on a fence. Like you're emotionally cheating on me. Yeah. With a fantasy of someone that

I don't want to get naked in front of you. That's the standard. That's what you're looking at. And I'm not her. Because you're only yourself, right? And then even if you were looking at someone who looked at my colour and she's like, why are you looking at fucking me? It's a really hard thing because it is like a certain level of fantasising is totally fine and innocent and I think it's natural. But when it goes beyond a certain point...

No, no, no, no, no, but like when I watch your sexy film, I'm like, oh, wow. Get me excited, you know, or I'm watching them tell me lies right now. It's called that's really quite kinky. And I'm like, hmm. Yeah. So I think there's a certain amount of like innocent fantasizing that can go on, especially with boys of porn, I get that. But the same thing over and over again. This is not.

acceptable. And you know what? He could have been doing that in private and it could have been a phase and he could have got over it, but he's doing it when you're sucking him off, which is a whole new thing. It's really, it really needs to be addressed. Like you just, it's really needs to address. I'm upset even at a little slide, but I get it. You were probably embarrassed and like ashamed for him. But let me tell you, it's also quite a weird thing. You know, when things in the moment happen, you're so stunned. You're like, what the fuck? You don't really know what to do or how to react. And you're so in your own head together. Yeah.

Wow, you've got to follow up. Please tell us what you need to do is you need to address it with him and be like, by the way, and go and be angry, because I'm angry. Don't be afraid to express yourself in the fear of what his reaction will be. Because we're two girls and we're not in the same relationship, we both have different standards and we're both being like, that's not you. Yeah, you need to address it.

Dalai Lama 3. Hi, girls. I'm hoping I can get some advice on a huge Dalai Lama. My sister's getting married next summer and I have been made the maid of honor. My sister and I are really close. She's my best friend. But since becoming maid of honor, I have had an opportunity to move to Australia with one of my closest friends. I'm 24 and for the little board in lost in London, I want to spread my wings, live my life and meet new people. Gorgeous. Fucking love the son of that. Yeah. When I told my sister I was moving to Australia, she was an

Happy. She said I'll regret the move for the rest of my life if I leave the UK before her wedding. I would literally say the same thing. She said I won't be able to sport her how she wants me to if I move as the distance will be a barrier and I won't be able to go to the end.

All right. I'm really not sure what to do. Do I go to Australia in February and come back for the wedding and support her as much as I can while I'm over there? Or do I stay in London for another year so I can be there for your sister? No, it's been such a pleasure. Also, do I come back for the wedding and come back for the hen? You say no. You can't be doing these things about like, I won't want you to be pregnant if you're my rhymes made up. But ultimately, if you are, what am I going to do? I'll just give a fuck if any of my friends wanted to meet. I'd be like, go happy. I'd like to be happy for them.

Yeah, you're wedding so much about you anyway. Like it's so selfish. She's like, I can't allow. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think it's like if my sister was going to leave, if one of my sisters is going to be bored, I would be like, it wouldn't be anything to do in my wedding. I'd be like, you can't leave me full start. You need to stay in here. We all can't leave here. We all need to be together. But like, she's coming back for the wedding. Yeah. She's just like, she doesn't want you to go. Also, like sometimes you really need support from like,

You also start guessing you're getting married. Like it is a big deal. So maybe she's like freaking out like, well, don't leave me. Look, I would be absolutely devastated by sister did that for my wedding. However, you wouldn't stop her. You'd be like, what can you do? I don't want you to go, but you know, absolutely. You know, it's really sad for both of you because I am Sam, my assistant. Yeah, I get it. I'm a dentist. My sister moved away from me.

far, you've got to do what you make sure you have and you still support her in so many ways. I mean, ultimately, all you have to do is there's not loads you can do. You're not like wiping up. I do get it. But like planning the hand and stuff is going to be impossible for Australia, but actually, because actually, you know what? No, it's not.

Yeah, they can reply the next day. You can still email everyone. There's also windows of time where they're still working hours that work for both countries. I like there's a few. Even if it's a day late, it will be harder, but you will be able to do it. It's possible. Come back for the hen, come back for the wedding. Commit to doing those. Do not miss either of those and commit to coming back to them and don't wait a whole other year. What do we think is going to happen if the sister throws her toys out of the brown side, right? Well, we're not friends anymore. I'm revoking the mid of honor.

What's great? Oh my god, well that's really quite toxic if your sister does that for you. Then we've got a whole lot of our new art, everything's toxic. We've got a whole lot of it. That is toxic though. Yeah. That's a whole lot already. Look, I'm only going off by my relationship with my sister. It can make people like be so mean to people. Like I would never do that to my sister. I swear we've had people write into us a lot like

Wash it. Wash it. Wash it. No, I don't know why that just came out right now. That's weird. Yeah, but please tell us what happens because if your sister is going to be a bitch and she's like, you can't be a bridesmaid if you moved to Australia. Sorry.

I'm booking my flight tomorrow morning. Off I go then. Threaten me. Yeah, that's really mean. But you know what? Sometimes sisters do just get really aggressive with each other. Like, like, I would say they're shorter. Yeah, the sibling barrier is different to a friendship barrier. But ultimately, like, she will come around. Like, if she's a good sister, she'll come around. She'll be like, this makes you happy. Go for it.

I also feel like you should sit your sister down and be like, I will be there for you. Yeah. One hundred and ten percent. There'll be a bit of time difference. I'm going to be there for the hen. I'm going to plan my hen. Yeah. It's going to be just as good as if I was in the UK. I'm obviously going to be there for the wedding. Face time. I'll be there before the wedding and I'll be there after the wedding. Okay.

I agree, I feel sad. Just make some promises to her. I've thought of that happening to me, though. If my sister was like, I'm off and moving to Australia on the year I was getting married, I'd be actually in my house, right? Yeah, I'd be sad too. But like, sorry, we're making you feel bad. Like, you've got to do your thing. You've got to live your life, babe.

You've got to live your life with me. 24 is a fucking amazing age as well. It's the best age. You know what? You're just before 25. People are still going, oh, you're such a baby. And you're like, oh, yeah, I'm so naive and young and fresh, but you're old enough to do everything. You're old enough to be taken seriously. You're young enough to still be like the baby and you're young.

It's just wonderful. Yeah, you know who you are, you're starting to know who you are. Yeah, you're falling into yourself, I think at that age. And like 24, 25, 26, it's like a real feeling. You're kind of, you're broken out with like the teenage boyfriends and you're kind of a single star. Yeah, you're in a new era. You're in a new era. You're either dating or... It's such an exciting time of life. Okay, well, let us know what you want. Yeah, let us know what you want. You're going to do it, but I don't, I don't think you've done anything wrong and look, you want to meet your Australia. You want to meet your Australia. It'd be a free start, follow your dreams. You know, you've got to just like talk it out with your sister, you might have some tears, you might have some arguments, but you want to get blood runs like in the water.

Okay love you guys. Thank you so much for listening. Hit this time as well. Bye. Bye guys.

Hello, I'm Jamie Lang. And I'm Sophia Big. And we have been married for a year. One whole year. Join us as we navigate married life here. Wild stories from our listeners and meet some of our favourite celebrity couples. That's right, each week we dive into the world of newlywared bliss. Is that what it is, bliss? Jamie, just pretend that we're newlyweds. One year down and a lifetime to go. Love you, honey. Listen, every Monday just search newlyweds wherever you get your podcasts.

G'day, Tim Williams here from Playbook 11. If you're interested in Dream 11 and want help picking your squad with expert Aussie insights, we've got you covered. Form New Zealand international returns superstar Indian Premier League commentator Simon Dole joins me to preview all five Australia V-India tests this summer to boost your chances of winning your Dream 11 contest. Can Virat wholly bounce back to form down under? Or will the Paste duo of Cummins and Start prove too fast to handle? With a history of fancy cricket success,

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