57. Using Your Pleasure To Pray | Rosa Maxwell
en
October 08, 2024
TLDR: Host Emily Fletcher and guest Rosa Maxwell discuss the transformative power of sacred sexuality, pleasure, and life force energy in the context of personal growth and creativity, providing insights on breaking free from societal conditioning and reclaiming innate power, pleasure, and purpose.

Transformation Through Pleasure: Rosa Maxwell's transformation illustrates how embracing pleasure and giving permission to express oneself can lead to profound healing and empowerment. By attending the Magic Maker event, individuals can learn to manifest their dreams and harness their creative energy.
Rosa Maxwell’s journey from feeling shut down and traumatized to becoming a powerful sexual energy facilitator highlights the transformative power of pleasure and self-expression. Both she and Emily Fletcher emphasize the value of permission—granting others the freedom to be themselves. By exploring their desires and healing past traumas, they inspire people to harness their life force and embrace their true nature. The upcoming Magic Maker event is an invitation to tap into creativity and manifestation, showing that by letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing our pleasure, we can become the embodiment of our dreams. This conversation serves as a reminder that healing is incremental and often requires a supportive community to flourish. Together, they advocate for a life fueled by joy, helping others to unlock their fullest potential and create a reality where pleasure is both a spiritual and transformative practice.
Exploring Pleasure: Understanding sexuality involves exploring our feelings and desires rather than focusing solely on physical actions. Practices like Sensational Self Pleasure encourage releasing tension to foster emotional healing and authentic pleasure. Slow, consistent habits create a fulfilling journey towards self-discovery and deeper connections in sexuality.
Exploring sexuality is more than just physical actions; it’s about diving into our feelings and desires to truly connect with our life force energy. By engaging in practices such as Sensational Self Pleasure, we can learn to release stored tension and trauma, fostering safety and openness in our bodies. This leads to authentic pleasure and emotional healing, paving the way for deeper connections and a fulfilling sexual journey. Changing habits slowly over time, rather than seeking quick fixes, is essential in this transformative process. Finding ways to enjoy these practices without pressure can create a rich experience of self-discovery and connection with our own bodies. The journey of becoming a pleasure millionaire starts with understanding ourselves and how we can awaken our feelings through consistent, nurturing practices.
Embracing Pleasure: Pleasure is accessible beyond sexuality and is found in everyday sensations. Embracing mindfulness allows us to connect with our energy, enhance our experiences, and heal from trauma, enriching our lives.
Exploring our pleasure, mindfulness, and the connections within ourselves allows us to heal and experience life more fully. By understanding that issues like anxiety or depression may stem from unresolved trauma rather than being inherent traits, we can embrace a holistic view for our well-being. Recognizing that pleasure is not solely sexual but can be found in everyday sensations, like feeling the sun on our skin or enjoying a ripe strawberry, helps us savor life more deeply. Practicing this mindfulness not only enhances our sexual experiences but enriches our overall existence. Ultimately, it's about being connected to our energy and learning to listen to our bodies, which empowers us to find joy in every moment.
Rediscovering Pleasure: Pleasure can transform trauma into joy and creativity. Embracing this energy leads to authenticity and deeper connection. In a tech-dominated world, rediscovering pleasure is crucial for a more vibrant society.
Pleasure is a powerful force that can transform trauma into joy and vitality. Everyone has the ability to tap into this inner resource, which could lead to a more liberated, happier society. Many people, however, have been conditioned to ignore or suppress this pleasure due to fear. Embracing pleasure allows individuals to access their true selves, enhancing connection, creativity, and authenticity. This awakening is particularly urgent in today's world, where technology often disconnects us from our bodies and life force energy. By rediscovering and embodying our natural pleasure, we can reclaim our bodies and experiences, leading to a fuller life. When society collectively learns to embrace this journey back to pleasure and authenticity, we'll forge a healthier, more interconnected world.
Embracing Pleasure: Life embraces pleasure, which connects us to ourselves and others. By following joy, we manifest our dreams and engage deeply with the universe, leading to personal growth and community bonds.
Life is fundamentally about pleasure and connection. Our human bodies are designed to experience joy, as evidenced by our capacity for pleasure beyond procreation. Engaging in practices that enhance our connection to pleasure can lead to profound personal growth and realization of dreams. Through experiences like retreats, individuals discover their true selves and connect with others in meaningful ways. By following our instincts and pursuing what brings us joy, we open ourselves up to the universe's opportunities, allowing our desires to manifest. This journey not only enriches our lives but also helps us remember the divine frequencies present within us all, ultimately fostering a sense of community and shared purpose.
Transformational Healing: Retreats provide safe environments for personal transformation, helping people confront fears and embrace joy. By practicing emotional alchemy and breathwork, participants access tools for ongoing growth, unlocking new possibilities in their lives.
Transformational retreats offer a safe space for personal growth and healing, allowing individuals to connect with their true selves. Participants experience profound changes, gaining tools to continue their journey even after the retreat ends. The combination of supportive practices, like breathwork and emotional alchemy, fosters trust and encourages people to confront their fears, ultimately unlocking deeper joy and vitality in life. This ongoing journey not only enhances self-awareness but also opens new possibilities for manifesting desires, making the healing process accessible to everyone, regardless of their initial hesitations about exploring their emotions or personal energy.
Healing Empowerment: Healing is a personal journey where facing fear and trauma with love empowers us to transform and strengthen ourselves, impacting those around us and realizing our worthiness.
Healing is a personal journey that requires facing fears and traumas with love and gentleness. Participants in the Ziva Magic retreat learned to embrace their emotions and transform their pain into growth. A man's powerful transformation exemplified how we can each harness our healing potential and empower ourselves, impacting not just our own lives, but also those around us. This journey teaches that we can navigate our suffering and emerge stronger, creating a ripple effect of healing. Ultimately, it's about recognizing our worthiness and becoming our own healers, utilizing the tools we have to foster personal and collective healing.
Worthy Aspirations: Trust in your ability to hold both pain and pleasure can transform your feelings of worthiness, making your dreams feel attainable. Using pleasure as a prayer rewires your brain to believe in your potential, turning aspirations into realities you are excited to pursue.
Trusting yourself is the key to feeling worthy of your desires. When you embrace your pain, you learn to hold pleasure too, making your dreams feel attainable. Using pleasure as a tool to pray helps shift your mindset, making you feel safe and deserving of your aspirations, essentially rewiring your brain to believe these dreams are possible. By connecting your visions with the physical sensations of joy, you condition your mind to feel familiar with success. This approach turns once daunting goals into attainable realities, encouraging you to greet opportunities with excitement rather than fear. Allowing yourself to connect deeply with your desires and transforming your approach into something joyful creates a sense of safety and worthiness, ultimately leading to manifestations that reflect your deepest aspirations. Embracing pleasure not only uplifts personal confidence, but also propels you toward a more fulfilled life.
Magic Maker: Join the Magic Maker event on October 16th to learn how to manifest your dreams by overcoming limiting beliefs and transforming fear into motivation. Don’t miss this free workshop to unlock your creative potential and clarify your goals.
An exciting event called Magic Maker is happening on October 16th, where participants can explore powerful methods to manifest their dreams. This workshop will help you identify and overcome limiting beliefs, transforming fear into motivation. By joining this free event, you can learn to make your aspirations a reality and tap into your creative energy. It promises to be an impactful experience aimed at helping you clarify your goals and bring them to life. If you’re ready to make significant changes and harness your true potential, this is an opportunity you won’t want to miss. All you need to do is register and participate in this transformative experience with a community of like-minded individuals. You’ll leave feeling empowered and ready to take action towards your dreams.
Was this summary helpful?
Sweet friends, welcome to today's episode of Why Isn't Everyone Doing This, the show where we reveal the most taboo modalities that just might be the medicine that your soul needs to feel free. I'm your host, Emily Fletcher, Broadway performer, turned meditation teacher, turned magic maker, and I'm so excited to share this episode with you so that we can help to solve the big challenges that we're facing as a species.
and have a great time doing it. And today's guest is having a really great time having a body, a really great time being a human. She's one of the most activated people I've ever met. She was a walking, living, breathing, permission slip, and her name is Rosa Maxwell.
She has assisted me on many of our Ziba Magic retreats. She is a deep part of the birthing of this movement. And I'm so excited to have her as the guest to talk about why isn't everyone using their pleasure to pray. Because this is something that she's done to even be a guest on this podcast, it's something that she's done to join me on these retreats.
It's also something she's done to become the founder of the London School of Tantra, which is the largest school founded by a woman in the UK right now and is growing very, very quickly. And in this episode, we talked about the transformational power of pleasure, how you can actually alchemize deep trauma
into beauty, into pleasure with these tools, and how she has used these tools to go from an extraordinarily shut down and traumatized childlike version of herself into one of the most activated, embodied, empowered women I know.
So Rosa is the founder of the London School of Tantra. She is the host of the Life Changing Podcast, Unlocked and Unrestricted and International Sex Magic Facilitator. I know that people rave about her facilitation and I feel so grateful to have her be a part of this movement. Rosa is here to help you unlock the power of your sexual energy so that you can live a life
fueled by your pleasure. She has a background of over 10 years in organizational psychology. She has helped giant organizations to shift in incremental ways from one of burnout to one of happiness. And she has a unique blend of expertise that bridges the gap between esoteric wisdom and modern science, which is why I love her so much. So please enjoy this riveting, beautiful, heart opening episode of Why Isn't Everyone Doing This with Rosa Maxwell.
Sweet friends, it is happening. We are creating a beautiful event called Magic Maker. It is happening on October 16th, and you do not want to miss this. This is the kickoff. This is the birthing of a new modality, a new body of work that I have poured my heart and soul into for the last four years. And I could not be more excited to share this event with you. This is going to be your chance to come and get crystal clear on what you want to manifest.
We're going to help you to unblock any limiting beliefs that are going to help you to alchemize the fear that things keeping you from your dreams and actually turn it into fuel for your dreams. If you are ready to get your manifestations out of your head and into your body, and if you're ready to turn yourself all the way on to tap into the most magnetic and creative force on the planet, then you are invited to join me live for a free workshop on October 16th.
All you have to do is go to zbameditation.com slash make magic. So that's z-i-v-a meditation.com slash make magic. So do not miss this. Stop what you're doing. Go to zbameditation.com slash make magic. This is going to be one of the most powerful and potent Ziva transmissions in Ziva history. I love you and I'll see you there.
Rosa Maxwell, welcome to why isn't everyone doing this? I happen to know from personal experience that you being here right now and sitting in the chair and being a guest on this podcast is something that you've been manifesting and a vision that you've been holding and even using your life force, your pleasure to pray for, which is something I want to circle back to. But first of all, congratulations on manifesting. Thank you. It was great.
And I just want to let people know. I want to give people a little bit of a window into our relationship and who you are. I'll start on the very personal to start is that I've just moved. I've just left New York City. I mean, they're massive life transition. I just learned from Deborah Silverman that I
My ascended moon is, yeah, I think it's ascended moon is in Scorpio, which means that my whole life is dying right now. And so in this new chapter, in this move, I'm in the suburbs alone.
And I was like, I need Rosa. I need Rosa. Rosa, can you please come and stay with me? So we're in the middle of this two week stint where you've very kindly flown from England to Katona to New York, which is a tiny, a tiny hamlet of 1200 people. As an act of love and service, and I'm so grateful to have to spend this time with you. And there was a lot of reasons that I asked you. Now I know that you have a lot of earth in your chart, and I'm all fire and water. And so I needed that
grounding and that reconnection to the earth. But really, the reason that I wanted you to come in my mind was like Rosa is so magical. Like Rosa really is this magical being and I want to infuse this new home. I want to infuse this new chapter with so much magic. And so, and I also think that one thing that you and I have in common is permission. Yeah. I think that in our own ways, in our own unique frequencies, we give people a lot of permission.
And that is something that I think is a really underrated and valuable gift to give to someone's permission really to be themselves, permission to be fully expressed. And I know that that was not always the case with you. And so now you are the founder of the London School of Tantra. You are a sex love and relationship coach. You help facilitate on our Zeba magic retreats online and in person. You're gonna be a part of this first cohort of Zeba magic.
So when people see you now, they're probably like, Oh, Rosa Maxwell, like she just is like a walking embodiment of arrows and turn on. But I know that that was not always the case. And I also know that you have 10 years of background in organizational psychology, which correct me if I'm wrong, but that's basically understanding and helping the psychology of big corporations or organizations. Is that correct?
how we transform organizational culture and behavior across and really focusing on how do we change things for the employees that are really in there? How do we give them permission to really empower themselves within business that was like a huge part of my dharma and my role before I transitioned?
And so what is it that even drew you to working in psychology, working in organizational psychology, and can you give us a window into who you were before you were a sex witch? And you said that you were repressed, even.
Yeah. So I'd just love to understand that incarnation of Rosa, because I've certainly never met her. And then what drew you to psychology. And then from that, what drew you into studying life force and magnetism and arrows as your life's work.
Yeah, great question. Thanks Emily. It's so great to be here in the studio together and be in Katona. I was just there. And wow, if I was reflecting on this actually on my way over when I was in the car, I was writing a newsletter and I was sitting there being like, how did life get this good?
How did life get to be literally the life of my dreams? And I was sitting and I was reflecting and I was like, it didn't start with one thing. It didn't start with like one thing that suddenly I changed overnight. It was this incremental shift day by day, moment by moment. And it was continuing to make the conscious choice.
of how do I desire to be? Like if there's something in my life that doesn't feel good, how do I desire to shift that, change that? And when I went into organizational psychiatry and psychology and really wanting to understand how to shift mental health on like a wide scale, I was like, I could either work one-on-one in a clinical psychological space
Or I could work in an organization of 75,000 and create a lot bigger impact. Which is like a small city or it's a nation's state, depending on the size of the country. For sure, for sure. And so the reason I chose that path was really to create impact. I knew that the way that I've always been good at creating like structure,
and good at transmitting information in a way that makes it really easy to understand. So when I was in business, I used to be the youngest person in all the senior leader team meetings because I could really bridge that gap of translating employee to ultimately for them, like the bottom line. So what was going to be really good to shift culture for the employees, but also shift culture in a way that helps them understand. So I've always loved
love bridging these gaps of knowledge is something I definitely bring in now as well. Well, that seems like a really important parallel now to this work because if you want to anthropomorphize nature, I oftentimes like to think of God as the CEO. Whereas if you're working with an executive team of a company and you're making the case for like, hey, the happier the employees are, the more money the company is going to make.
the more productive the company's going to be, the more on mission, the more on brand, the more clear the company's going to be. You could make the same argument if God is the CEO of Planet Earth. It's like, hey, the happier the humans are, the more in pleasure the humans are, the more connected to source the humans are, the more abundant the planet will be, the more on purpose and on Dharma the planet will be. And it seems like we've really forgotten that.
And the sad thing to me is that it seems like we've forgotten that in the name of God when it seems so antithetical to what Source Energy would actually have us believe and have us know.
Yeah, a thousand percent. I really feel like I'm doing the same thing just on a different plane. Like even with the work that I'm doing now with the London School of Tantra, it feels like we're creating societal shifts rather than organizational shifts. We're really passionate about changing the way that society interrelates how society can connect deeper to themselves and each other.
And for me to even get to that point, I had to really go through my own dark night of the soul, is what I would really call it, and really facing the fact that there was so much repression of my own creative life force energy, and when it comes to
like desire and how I desire, like always coming back to that desire piece was when I was in business, like I realized, I was like, okay, I've got this dream job and like manifested that dream job by being like, cool, this is what I want. I want a job that pays this much. I want to work in this field. I want to work on creating big impact. So always really focused on desire.
And then I realized I was like, but if something feels like it's missing, I was like, what is this? What feels like it's missing? And there was a period in my life where I experienced quite intense trauma. And what age, like approximately? 14. Yeah. It's a 14 year old. And again, a little later at 16.
And so I'd buried that completely in utterly sexual trauma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it wasn't until I tripped to India and I had this. And this was when I wasn't spiritual at all. So I was like, like, really new of. And not that I knew it. Not that I knew it. Not that I knew it was spiritual. It was so nice to forget for a little bit.
Yeah, not that I knew of, but I really, I really judged the chakra system. You judged it. Yeah, I judged it. I was a meditation teacher, and I was like, I'm still listening to people talking about chakras. What does it even mean? Like, what do you mean we have a root chakra and a solar plexus? And I know these are anatomical parts of my body, but
What is energy? Like what even is an energy body? I was so skeptical, so skeptical, very scientific, like always been so deep into like the science and psychology and neuroscience, even behind all of these things. And when I was in India, this guy, he read my chakras.
And he got to my sacral. He read your tacos, but you're pointing to your hand. He read them through my palm. He read your tacos through your palm. And he took my hand and he held my hand.
And he looked me in the eyes and he went through each chakra. He got to my sacral, which is the one just kind of below the belly button in between. And he said, I can feel a block here.
And I was like, all right, whatever. And then he pinpointed to the year and the month, the two experiences of sexual trauma in my history. By reading your poem. By reading my poem, the energy. He wasn't reading my poem, he just was feeling the energy through the pulse of my hat.
Was he like an Ayurvedic doctor? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So this is just to give you a little window in. Like it sounds like magic and I am here for magic. But there are people that are so attuned and have studied the body and understand the laws of nature and understand Ayurveda or acupuncture or Chi depending on like which country you're in.
but they can actually feel your pulse and look at your tongue. And like you said, like to the year and the month pinpoint, okay, you broke your foot when you were 12. Oh, your dad died when you were 11. Oh, you had sexual trauma when you were 14. Like amazing that the body really does not only keep the score, but it's like the rings of a tree. So amazing. Okay, so you're in India, he's reading your chakras. And that was it for me. It was suddenly like Pandora's box had been opened.
And I had thought I was, I would have said I was a very sexual being even before becoming a sex witch. It's very different. But what I hadn't realized is a lot of that version, that was like a false sexuality. Oof. Yeah. Same word about that. What does that mean? False sexuality, like performative? Yeah, very performative, very much.
Very much doing things not out of my own desire, but out of the desire to please others. Oof. Yeah. Glennon Dua has a line in her book Untamed where she says, I knew how to be wanted. Yes. I did not know my own want. Exactly. Like being a Broadway performer, I knew how to make people want me. I did not know my own want. And yesterday, I interviewed our mutual friend Jade.
who you introduced me to and she's a playboy bunny living in the playboy mansion you would think like so embodied so intersectional energy but she was not she was disconnected from her own pleasure from her own desire and so I think that that's often why societally we have such a distaste for sexualization because it's not actually coming from an authentic place it's not coming from an embodied place it's coming from
a performative place, which is ultimately a lie, and our bodies are going to be repulsed by a lie. So if we have a simultaneity of conditioning that this is wrong or bad, and then our bodies are noticing that something is not true about it, because it is performative or is still going outside in, then of course it's going to enhance that distaste or repulsion to what could be the most alchemical transformative medicine that nature has installed inside of us. And I've never put those two things together until right now.
So thanks for bringing that up. I think that's why we feel so much pressure around sex or sexual activity is because we don't know how to be authentic within it. And so the reason we feel pressure is because we don't feel like we can be authentic in our desires, whether it's a yes or a no. Or go brush your teeth. Or I'm hungry.
Uh-huh. Or I'm a two and I need to actually be a little warmer at like a five or six before I even start thinking about that. Or actually my desires, we are so disconnected from our own wants that it's like, I don't even know actually what it is that turns me on. What is it that actually activates my life force energy? And we often think we are so, and I see this a lot with my clients,
is that we are so go go go like quite in that that typical kind of yang energy masculine achieving yeah let's do but when it comes to sex and sexuality and eros and like really turning up the dial of that life force energy it's all about feeling it's like actually how do you want to feel
because you could have the same sexual activity but one person might want to feel worshipped and that's the thing that really brings them into aliveness and another person might really love to feel like taboo or a little naughty or a little adventurous.
And whatever the feeling is, it's so deeply rooted in our psychology that the feeling is actually the thing that brings us the aliveness, not the action or the activity, but so often we're focused on sex as an act rather than as something that we just get to feel.
Mm, which is quite masculine versus feminine, right? The doing versus the being, or the action versus the feeling. Yeah. Okay, so you said, so you open a Pandora's box, you went from like super analytical, left brain science business, and like, what is this chakra business? Yeah. Now Pandora's box opens, and then what happened? I went back to society, and it couldn't function.
I was, I would have probably said, almost clinically depressed. I lost. How old are you at this point? Oh, good question. 20, 27. Saturday returns. Saturday returns, I know. Timing. There's no coincidences in life. So full Saturday returns, full like evolution herself. And I totally, totally felt lost and broken as a human being. I couldn't be touched sexually by my partner anymore.
I couldn't have his hands on me in any way, shape or form. And that was my long-term partner of I think it would have been seven years at that point. And to suddenly go from even being a slightly repressed sexual person, but still having sexuality to
like feeling like I was completely asexual. Like nothing, absolutely nothing. For how many years? Or months or? So I would say the best part of a year. One of my superpowers is commitment. And so commitment to change, but also really one of the things that I love and will always bring in and I know my clients always really appreciate
is that it's not about the overnight quick fix. Can we break it down so that there is something that you can do every day? Because it creates habit change, and this is where I really come from in the organizational psychology background, is what we were doing in business was behavioral transformation
and it was really through habit change. It was really how do we change the habits of how we interact with ourselves and others on a daily basis to create long-term transformation. And so the same within sexuality is how do I do something different every day so that it then will have this compound interest over time that you get to become a like pleasure millionaire by changing one thing
Every single day just dialing up one little piece So he gives an example of that of like what's one thing that you would change for yourself or What's someone listening to this? It's like I want to be a pleasure million I want to change my relationship with my own life force and my capacity to receive Feeling good. What would you invite people to do?
One of my favorite pieces of work I've ever done is called Sensational Self Pleasure. And within Sensational Self Pleasure, the key in it is that it's a five-week program, but you do something different for 10 minutes every day. So my favorite, you self-pleasure in the morning for 10 minutes every single day. You snooze your alarm, you put on the audio, and that's it. You snooze your alarm. That's how easy it gets to be.
Instead of 7.30, you set 11 for 7.20, you have 10 minutes and you're starting your day with a pleasure practice. With a pleasure practice. Yeah, that's it. And the first space that I always get people to start with, whether they're working with me one on one or in my group courses, is with release.
Because often we want to go again to the angle, like I'm really about like slowing it down. Like we have a lifetime to become pleasure millionaires. And I think there's so much pleasure that gets to be experienced in the slowing down within it. And so the first space is always release.
like the de-armoring, like I know we did de-armoring together and that when we actually get to release like say trauma or tension that we all hold particularly if we've been socialized as a woman and if you're someone who has like a pussy like that we store so much tension here from a lot of fear and a lot of repression of sexuality from fear of being sexualized or from abuse or from trauma
And so everything can get a little tight. That's why we have a lot of challenges. And so one of the things that I find that we really get to begin with before we even try and become multi-orgasmic, even before we try and become like more really like excelling in that life force energy and really having that fuel our whole lives,
is starting with, how do I release the stored trauma and tension within my body? So the thing, if someone's starting on their track to become a pleasure millionaire, my favorite thing is a 10 minute release, practice every single morning, so a really nourishing, pussy massage, every single morning. And it's just like saying hello, no pressure to orgasm, no pressure to be sexual.
Just to really say hello and one of the things that this really helps recondition is a feeling of safety. It's a feeling of it's safe just to be with my body. It's safe to explore my body. It's safe to explore pleasure even in the release and it doesn't have to go anywhere.
When you say release, like, are you doing acupuncture points, pressure points? Like, what would someone do? Like, what would a release mean? Because I don't know that many people know how to touch themselves in a way that isn't sexual. So, and I know you and I got to do a uni duran ring session, which was so beautiful, an emotional release, physical release. It was beautiful, but how would people, like, even find what to release or how or where?
Yeah, yeah, I actually have a free meditation for anyone who wants to download that as well because this is really a practice that has changed my life. Yeah, we'll link to that in the show. Yeah, great, great. But really, it's about finding
Just like you would, you know, if someone's giving you, if you're giving yourself like a shoulder massage, or like a massage with a necklace where I get really, really tense as well. I'm always giving everyone else trapezages because you really just want trapezages all the time. Please just massage my trapezages. We can make that happen later. Thank you.
But it's really like that when you can feel the tension in your traps. It's the same when you start to massage like the outside of the vulva or if you're like if you're someone with a male body, like even just like the groin area, it's you will find as you start to massage just spaces of tension.
Like it's not or something. It will feel like a knot or it'll feel really tight or tense. And when I give this to my clients and they check back in, they're like, I didn't realize. Because we don't touch ourselves all day now. We're like, really not to, do not do that. And so when we, when we, it's like, wow, I didn't realize how much was actually stored down there. I didn't realize how much was actually in there. And I'm curious if you want to share, like,
how it was when you were going even through your own release process and actually realizing how much is in there. So just to set the scene, I think you were staying with me as well as my old apartment in Brooklyn.
and you were guiding me through and I was like you just you weren't touching me but you were guiding me and my own practice that I learned how to do it with myself really staying in our theme of self-sufficiency and we did like full like heart like meditation drop in checking with the heart massage around the heart breast massage
and like womb massage, and then we went down into the vulva and then internal with the wand. So it was like a really long, beautiful process, like lit the candles before, did a prayer before, it was so beautiful. And I remember it was very emotional. Like I remember not feeling a lot of
pleasure and not necessarily pain, but it was fascinating where we would get to like one particular spot and just tears or just start streaming out where it's like, who even knows what's stored in there? Could be mine, could be my great-grandmas, could be from birth, could be from who knows what, but it's like the body is holding that. And then once that release, it felt like there was more spaciousness. It felt like my capacity.
for inflow had increased my capacity to hold space for pleasure had increased and then that that definitely was the case you know that my capacity for pleasure
I don't remember what I said. I have like, I think I've just had the hottest sex of my life. It was something like that. Great. I have one thing you show me is I have sex in Asia. So like nature just wipes the slate clean. I am sure that is true. We can probably check our what's up. Yeah. But I remember it was spectacular. And I remember being of no, I remember leaving you the message. Yeah. I remember receiving it and being like, great testimonial Emily. Thanks.
Put on the website. But this feels like a microcosm and a really concentrated example of why the Ziva Magic formula is what it is, of why, yes, okay, you wanna manifest something, yes, you have a desire of how you wanna feel or something you wanna call in, but before we even touch the pleasure, before we even go to the magnetism, we must go through the alchemy.
And so just for people who are listening, who are new to Ziva Magic, this is an embodied manifestation tool that allows people to visualize, alchemize, and magnetize. They really see, like they're prayer for themselves, but also they're prayer for the planet. Like, what would I love? Like to your point of when you're doing organizational psychology, it's like, how do you want the company to be performing? How do you want your employees to be feeling as an individual? What isn't working in my life? And what would I love here instead?
So we visualize and then we alchemize. So what does that mean? It means that we transmute anything that is seemingly keeping us from our desires and allow it to alchemize and to fuel for the desire instead of the block. And then from that spaciousness, from that place where we have cleared that channel, then we magnetize, then we turn on this life force, then we turn on the magnet and the generator of the body,
which is our life force energy or creation energy or sexual energy. So I love that what you teach and what you do with your focus is like this very concentrated physical example of the Ziva Magic formula of what's happening in manifestation. Yeah, I'm so glad we're here because I was literally like, this is what Ziva Magic would be. Alchemization. That's always what I think of whenever we do emotional alchemy.
we have to allow whatever is present, like you mentioned in your experience of the kind of de-armoring process, the emotion that comes up. And we store so much emotion, and then if we don't allow that to come up and through,
then we don't allow the ability to open up, to experience how much aliveness our body is really, really capable of. And that thread throughout the journey, I know we started with sort of speaking from repression to aliveness, is that the more I have gone into the alchemization, the more I have done, like the practices, like in Ziva magic,
the more aliveness and more errors that I get to experience and that I get to receive through it. And again, it's like that I really desire, I'm so excited to keep coming back to this point, but it's incremental. It's not like it's all over night. It's not like I go in, I do one alchemization practice, and then I'm like the most erotically alive human being. One diomering and now. One diomering. I'm the sex goddess. That's it, I'm done.
No, it's the consistency and it's continuing to come back to the practice, just like with yoga, just like with meditation. I really see this, and particularly the tools that you use and that you teach in Ziva Magic, really create such a practice to keep coming home to again and again. And I think that that's what makes the methodology so powerful. One way that I used to say this concept is like,
Good luck feeling the full capacity of your pleasure, if you're not willing to feel the full capacity of your pain. If you've spent the past three decades numbing your pain, good luck feeling your pleasure. That numbness, that armoring, that protection is going to override the ability to feel the feelings and the ability to feel the pleasure. But now I feel like I've reframed that because that's quite negative, right?
It's like moving away from the numbness. The first time I really like to when possible frame things is moving towards the positive and I feel like I've finally found that. Where it feels like the exact same muscle that you exercise when you are doing emotional alchemy or when you are
Feeling your feelings, which turns out is not only a skill, but a superpower. But that same muscle that allows you to hold space for yourself and for your feelings is the same muscle that will allow you to hold space for your pleasure. And so in strengthening one, you are strengthening the other. And so as I was willing to go in and feel that release and feel that pain of what was stuck in my body,
Now I have more capacity and I trust my body more to hold more of the pleasure. And then the question becomes to your point and what we started with is let's see how good it can get. Like let's see how good it can get. So I know you to be one of the most activated people I've ever met.
truly a walking permission slip, like more in an orgasmic energy, more of the day than you are not. And not inappropriate, not non-consensually, but just I can feel the lay force flowing through your body, taking that first sip of cacao, strumming your guitar, playing with my son on the playground, writing with your clients, there's just this beautiful, pure, innocent,
pleasure, like coursing through your body. And so I would love for you to give us a snapshot, like a window into like a before and after. What was repressed Rosa look like and what did repressed Rosa look like? And how did you incrementally or quickly like turn into this walking permission slip?
Yeah, great question. And it even brings me back to that sitting in the car on my way here thinking, how did life get this good? And I put myself back on my way to your place. I was sitting and I let myself feel her again.
And it was this 27-year-old me. And I even felt, you know, the 14-year-old me in her space as well. I like really got to see these different iterations of me and these different parts of my aliveness. Like really that 14-year-old self, who didn't know how to own her sexuality, who let herself be used by others, who put herself in spaces where she would be, in a space where she was abused.
There's a whole host of elements that go along with that. When I was sitting and feeling into these different versions of myself,
It was so lonely, so separate, so in pain, so shrouded in gray, in a black cloud, not wanting to get out of the duvet, wanting the world to swallow up, genuinely not wanting to be alive. That is how deep, if I feel really into a 14-year-old me, she didn't want to be on this planet anymore.
before the trauma or after? Yeah, and maybe actually before as well, I think it was all combined with a lot of stuff that was going on in my life at that time as a teenager and genuinely I think this is one of the reasons I get really excited about this work is because of the impact that it has on parents.
And so whenever I work with parents and then the narratives and things that they then get to give to their children. And now I love my parents and we have a really great relationship now. And they weren't perfect. Turned down. Turned down. We're all real flawed. Yeah, we're really flawed. And so there was a lot that they didn't know how to communicate around this stuff.
Yeah, we are certainly not given a manual as parents, and we sure as hell are not given a manual on how to talk about sacred sexuality to children. No, no. And so what I see is that the more parents heal, the more that we get to heal the generations that go before, like go beyond us.
And that's really so even feeling that 14-year-old me, she was really doing the best that she could with the tools that she had. I've done a lot to forgive. She's worked on the forgiveness for a lot of responsibility that she took for the situation she ended up in. And so there's a lot that when I feel into her, when she looks at me now, she's like,
over that she still can't quite believe it. She still, she still. How orgasmically alive that I am and how great life gets to be. And it all kind of started when I was feeling again, if I feel back into that 27 year old, and she felt so confused, so frenetic, so depressed, so anxious. I hadn't realized that
I wasn't an anxious person, I just had unresolved PTSD. Like, I just thought I was just anxious and that was how life got to be. But this is what's happening on the planet. We pathologize what's a lot of imbalances. We pathologize ADHD, we pathologize depression, we depart pathologize anxiety, co-dependence, alcoholism.
versus looking at like, oh, I just have this thing. I have this disorder. My bang, brain chemistry is imbalanced versus looking at the holistic system. What's happening with my food, with my sleep, with my trauma, with my familial relationships, with my community. And I'm not saying the pathologies don't exist.
But when there are also systemic and holistic imbalances that are creating collective suffering and collective mass disease, we have to look at those imbalances as well. And the repression of sexual energy is one of them. When we are disallowing ourselves from even acknowledging or tapping into one of those healing, alchemical, internal pharmacies that nature has installed inside of us, we are doing ourselves and the species. And I would argue also the planet, an extraordinary disservice.
And really, one of the things that I always love to come back to when it comes to pleasure is pleasure is always accessible. Like, life force energy is always accessible and we seem to have this idea that it's not.
I have definitely had big periods of my life where I believe that. I imagine most people listening to this podcast don't believe that to some degree. So can you say what you mean? For sure is that one of the things I love to teach, and this is a concept that I love, and I call it erotic mindfulness, is the fact that what that means is that there is pleasure available in every single present moment. Like even sitting on this chair right now, if at any point I feel like a little like nervous, like, oh my gosh, the velvet feels so good.
the satin on my skin feels so good. Like, looking at you in this gorgeous dress feels so good. And I'm like, wow, wow, so I could, I could, you know, I could tune into the narratives that might come into my mind and say, who do you think you are to sit in this chair? Like, who do you think you are to talk about this sort of stuff? Or the narratives that are like, oh my gosh, you're like, you're gonna say something wrong, you're gonna like fuck it up.
And I could tune into that, I could let that narrative, I could let that script run, but actually I could also tune into pleasure. It's here right now. I could also like move my hips a little, like just give them a little swell, like connect with that life force energy. And even with my breath, and this is a tool that I always teach is an ancient Daoist technique called the microcosmic orbit.
And when we think about sexual energy and the healing powers, like in the Taoist tradition, this breathwork practice, which is breathing from your root, from your huha, from the base of that spine, all the way up to your crown, up the back of the body, and then down the front of the body again.
And this practice is really, they used to use it and still do, but to heal the body. It's to move the life force energy around the body, to circulate it around the body. And in the dance traditions, they talk a lot about the meridians. And like the meridian system, which is of course what acupuncture and acupressure work on. And that you get to flow this energy, this chi, this life force energy around the body.
so that it can cleanse the system. And one of the most incredible things that I've found is, well, when I do this, I mean, it just feels really good. It feels really good. And I feel more energized. We were doing it before. We were doing it eight times. I actually think that was the most intensely I've ever felt the microcosmic orbit when we were doing our dance before the podcast. It really felt like, oh, I could feel this ball of energy moving up.
I am listening to this book right now called womb awakening, which I'm deeply obsessed with. I'll probably reference it 14 more times in this podcast, but they talk about how the masculine energy is actually the upward energy and then it wants to go up the front of the body and the feminine energy or the the energy goes down the back, but can you do it in both directions, like up the front and down the back? Or does it just depend on different lineages or that's just
There are a few different schools of thought. The main microcosmic orbit is always of the back of the body down the front, but there are other traditions and other practices that move up the front and down the back. It's basically for different reasons. They would say up the back and down the front.
is really for more of that like moving, cleansing, purifying. And then up the front and down the back, I believe is more for like energizing or. Oh, that might make sense because I was feeling a little tired because I just shot a podcast. And so that might make sense that the body wanted to be energized and that happened naturally. Great. And that was the way that your body wanted it to move. Great. Great. Which is really just to pull the lens out a little bit. Like, yes, there's doctrine. Yes, there's dogma. Yes, there's lineage. And there's also gnosis.
Right? Which is like this beautiful balance of masculine and feminine. Yes, we want to stand on the shoulders of our ancestors. We want to stand on the shoulders of giants. We want to honor the lineage and the traditions and learn as much as we can. And there's also trusting your body and where it is right now and trusting the remembrance that might be happening in your cells from other lifetimes. So that felt like a beautiful micro example of that.
That's my favorite thing is that, and I really say that, you know, you could be like, oh, I'm not doing the micro orbit right because I'm breathing the wrong way, but actually that's the way that the energy wants to move around your body. And I think that's what I see with this embodied work, like through sacred sexuality work, through Ziva Magic, it's really that core that underpins it is a reconnection to self, reconnection to the body, reconnection to listening.
Because that's the incremental change. If we can do things every single day that allow us just to tune in and keep listening to the body, what's going to bring me pleasure today? How does this energy practice feel today? There's no right, no wrong.
Can we give ourselves permission to not have it be right or wrong? And can you speak to pleasure outside of sexuality? Because I think that we've only coupled, I think when most people hear the word pleasure myself included, they think of a sex toy shop or just feels like sometimes that where pleasure can feel a little, I can feel my residual conditioning on that word. So can you speak to pleasure outside of sexuality?
for sure, for sure. And this is one of my favorite things to do as well is like pleasure outside of sexuality is even just as we're speaking, like the feeling of the sensations of the chair, like the feeling of the pleasure on the sun on your face, the feeling of eating like the most deliciously ripe strawberry in that moment and really savoring the taste, savoring. And this is it, it's like,
I'm getting to sit in this chair and savor every minute of it by being so connected to pleasure and to even the life force energy that's in my body. Like I can feel it. As you're saying that I'm having this idea that actually
just like meditation, we meditate to get good at life, not to get good at meditation. It feels like sexuality and actual physical sexual practices are an opportunity to practice savoring so that we can be good at savoring in life. And conversely, the better we get at savoring in the other 23 hours of the day, the more we can savor in our physical, pleasure, sexual practices.
Also, I just want to go back to something that you said and double click on it because it feels really important. I want to highlight and celebrate this fact that you're saying, yes, the incremental shifts and the tiny little, can I smell this cup of cacao? Can I taste this strawberry?
Can I be one click more in my body as I'm washing these dishes? Can I play my favorite song as I'm vacuuming? So yes to that. And I don't remember exactly what you said that triggered this, but I remember thinking like, oh, this is why I do this work. Like this is why I started Ziva Magic. And it was basically like the potency and the alchemical
power of pleasure that it's big enough to transmute and to transform even the most intense trauma. Like from where you went from like, I'm here to duvet. I don't want to live anymore, right? Let's just paint that picture. You're 14 years old, suffering from severe sexual abuse and trauma to now you're like helping organizations as an organizational therapist and helping people
and one of the most embodied, alive, erotically activated humans I've ever met. Creative, like writing songs, songs channeling through you on the radio, thriving business, like Joseph has founded the fastest growing female, founded school in the UK. Like that's a big shift, and I know that it's taken time, but if pleasure,
Is the alchemical force that is transmuted that much suffering into that much pleasure in your body? Can we just pull the lens out for a second and imagine what happens on the planet? If we start to have billions of people who know how to tap into this internal pharmacy that nature has installed inside of us, like what does that look like? Can we even conceptualize how good life could get on the planet? Should we all decide?
To tune into this thing that's already there. It's not like, oh God, we gotta distribute it. Oh, we gotta get this food to these people, gotta get this money to these people. It's like it's already fucking there. It's already inside of us. We've just somehow managed to forget. So I'd like to know your answer to that question. Like, why isn't everyone using pleasure to fuel their life force? Like, why isn't everyone tapping into this pleasure inside of our bodies?
because we've been conditioned away from it. Why? I think because of the power of it. Like really because of the power of it. Imagine, this is it, if we imagine a society that is so liberated in their pleasure, that is so tapped into desire because like this creative life force energy tapped into source. Like listening to the whispers of their own intuition and even the whispers of the universe or nature.
that if we are all in that space, it makes it very hard to control. It makes it very hard to control a society that is so liberated. And I think that that's the fear. That's the fear. But what if we don't actually need to be controlled? We don't. I really believe that we don't. I believe it's just that fear is a thing that squashes, but often fear isn't grounded in reality.
Yeah, it rarely is. Rarely is. So we have this collective fear around politics. We don't have rules, we don't have jail, if we don't have religion, if we don't have 10 commandments, that we're all just going to be like in some hedonistic, thievery, orgiastic, like hell, hellscape. Although it'll be hard to have an orgiastic hellscape. As I said, those two things, I was like,
But you know what's wild, actually, to bring it to almost my false sense of sexuality. Even though I was having a great time, I was very much in the scene with BDSM. That was a big part of my life before. And I was deep in the head inism. I was taking a lot of drugs. I was having a lot of fun. I don't regret it. I don't regret it. But it wasn't my authentic sexual self.
So there were things in that that were kind of like, they're like, oh, actually, that's kind of the thing when I think people picture it is like, well, that would be crazy too much. A lot of hedonism, a lot of like wildness, a lot of uncontrolled like nature. Well, a lot of inauthenticity and I think physical manifestations of trauma and repression, which is very different than an embodiment of life force flowing through.
And the differences is now in the embodiment of the life was flowing through, it is a complete antithesis of that. It is really, it feels like the most sacred, most pure, most divine, most delicious. Everybody, if we do play, if I am still in spaces where it is a bit like, you know, orgitastic, but it's all done from the heart.
It's all done from this space of like and concerns and respect and a deeper connection to deepen intimacy to deepen intimacy enters to deepen pleasure, not to get anywhere, not to get off on anything. Like it's like we've sexualized sex. Oh, say more about that. Yeah. So we've sexualized sex and pleasure rather than it being in its erotic innocence.
Yeah, erotic innocence. Yeah. I love that as an archetype. So I imagine there's lots of people listening to that if they're still with us. I imagine that there's lots of people listening to this. I mean, I remember I was speaking at YPO, which is like the young presence organization. So you have to be like at a $100 million company by 40 or something. So you're like ultra successful, like New York entrepreneurs.
and I had done a workshop of meditation, but they all went to lunch afterwards, and I was just starting to get into this sacred sexuality work, and I was talking about it at lunch, and all of them just stopped. They literally put their forks down, and they were like, what is sacred sexuality? Those two words existed in the same sentence seemed like a real pattern interrupt, so how would you define sacred sexuality? Oh, for me?
Sacred sexuality is really bringing sexuality back to the innocence of the life force energy that flows through each and every single one of us. And it's really about embracing desire and pleasure
in a way that is in full alignment and full authenticity and full nurse of like someone's authentic expression of self. Like sometimes I like to think of sacred sexuality as it's not really even about the sex. It's not about sex. It's about really living within the fullest expression of your eros and this life force energy.
And how would you define Eros? So Eros, for me, is the feeling of being fully turned on and alive. And when I say fully turned on and alive, it comes back to that savoring, like really savoring life, really being fully
fucking in life, in your body, in the body, in that like life is just moving through me and around me. And I'm so connected to the people around me, the nature around me, my work, my Dharma. Like I'm just connected to everything. That really is what Eros is for me.
As you're saying that right now, I was just having like, oh, I wonder if one of the reasons why this medicine is flowing through both of us so strongly and so many of our friends. Like it does feel like we're on the cusp of this real sexual revolution.
Like a novo sexual awakening, and I'm wondering, and I really don't know the answer, but it's a question, is this medicine coming through so big and so strong right now as an antithesis to the AI phone computer? Like we're all just in this 2D world hunched over out of our bodies. Like I see it with kids and even my son, like I don't give my son the screen time that often.
But if I do, he leaves the building a little bit. He goes into zombie consumer. He's no longer in his body. He's not curious. He's not playful. He's not moving. He just gets catatonic. He gets toked super still.
And he's just, it's a little zombie-like. And if you look, you go on a New York City subway, you go and grand central station, everyone's just in their phones, in their phones, in their phones. And so I'm wondering if like one of the reasons why so many of us are getting the call of like, hey, bring this medicine, bring it quickly, bring it powerfully, bring it to a big group of people, is like this is the way for us to get back into our bodies and remember the reason why we incarnated was not necessarily to look at a four by six screen all the time.
I really believe the reason we're incarnated. We're in human bodies, right? We have, I don't know how many millions of nerve endings in our bodies that are actually wired for pleasure. The whole like our senses are so wired for pleasure. We're meant to be on this planet in this human existence to be a human in a human body. And I really believe we're on this planet for pleasure.
Yeah, like, we are, you know, one of a few animals that actually enjoy sex for the pleasure of it rather than just for procreation. That we know of. That we know of. That we know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That once we have AI, they can start talking to plants more and start talking to animals more. I see the network is definitely... Did you see that they're now have they post AI up to a king mushroom? No. Yes. Oh, wow. And the king mushroom is controlling the AI.
This happened like yesterday. I'm like, yes, put the mushrooms in charge. Like, let's go. That's what happens with my Celia. I'm running the show. Great. I can't wait to hear the thoughts on Eros and pleasure and second section. I think we'll have a lot to say. To talk about orgies, they're just like, they're spewing their spores everywhere. Okay, back to business. Let's get serious about this conversation on pleasure.
Okay, so you are one of the few people that have had a real window in to the magic that happens on these Ziva Magic retreats, like both in person and online. And now you are actually on the set when we shot Ziva Magic, which my prayer is that this course becomes like, yes, a beautiful online course, but also the beginning of a movement that an initiation
in helping people to remember just how good life can get, helping people to remember the frequency of heaven inside of their own bodies so that it does equip people with the tools to do these activations on the sacred sites on the planet. So I would just love to know, I guess, to start, what drew you in? Why did you first want to come and be a part of this work?
And then we'll start there. And then I'd love to know perhaps one snapshot, one healing, one person's journey that you feel like a play in your deathbed side show. I'm like, wow, I'm so glad I got to witness how much that person grew or evolved.
Okay, so this is a really fun story because it really embodies a lot of the magic which is behind everything. So I don't know how much of this we've actually spoken about. So this might be like an exclusive. You're already here first.
So when we met on Leyla's retreats, what would have been like almost two years ago? So when we met on Leyla's retreat, I didn't know about Ziva, I didn't know like anything about the work that you did. I just remember meeting and being like, who is this woman?
I was like, she's so alive and I was like, damn, okay, okay. And we would be dancing around the floor on like ladies and I was like, okay, cool, cool. I'm in, whatever you are transmitting, I was like, I'm in.
And then I didn't think much of it for, like we left the retreat, didn't think much of it until I was doing my morning meditations and I was sitting on like my sheepskin rug or like, you know, infusing all the pleasures, sitting on my sheepskin rug, doing my morning meditation. And I was visualizing at the end of it, like, and what came through is just your face. Like your face just like appeared in front of me like a floating head. And I was like,
Oh, hey, Emily. Cool. Nice to see you again. It's been a while. And I was like, whoa. And I've known from this work and from continuing to connect to this life force energy and the deeper I connect to life force, the deeper I feel I'm connected to listening to the universe and what the universe desires of me as well. It's a big part of my path.
And as I was, as I was like sitting there, I was like, great, I know I've been doing this long enough to be like, let me go see if I can track her down. There's something here. And I went and I think I found your Instagram and got on the mailing list. And it was the first time you literally, I think the one of the first emails I got was you announcing the first Costa Rican retreat.
Wow. Yeah. And I was like, whoa, okay, cool. So let me send an email. And there was something in me that just was, there was the energy. It was like, you are meant to be a part of this. And I was like, okay, cool. Again, surrendered to it. Let me just follow the pleasure of it. Let me follow the arrows in it.
And I emailed the team, and I sent quite an audacious email, and I was like, hey, this is the story. And I would love to support if you need anyone. Let me know.
And now I would sit and I would manifest that. I would use my pleasure to pray. I probably did that every single day until the first retreat actually kicked off. And I didn't hear back from anyone. And I was like, OK, fine. Not meant to be. Not meant to be. Surrounded again to the universe.
And then what happens is Phoebe reaches out to me out of the blue. So Phoebe is an amazing, also trauma-informed therapist, sex-love and relationship coach who I also met on Layla's retreat and had also reached out to me for the very first retreat and was like, hey, if you need help, let me know, put me in coach. And I was actively seeking it. And I was deciding between her and this
EMT person, like an emergency medical server or EMS, emergency medical services person. And I really was debating it. And like in hindsight, I can't even believe it was a question. Because of course I needed someone trauma informed. Of course I needed someone with sex love and relationship coaching. But we brought Phoebe on for the very first retreat. But then, okay, so then just giving people context of who Phoebe is. She's amazing. Amazing, amazing. I love her so much. So fast. So she reached out to me out of the blue.
and was like, hey, how's it going? I want to connect and get to know you. And I was like, cool. Okay. And so we started talking. And I know one of the big things that you love to say a lot and it always takes is like, pray and move your feet. Pray and move your feet. It's always about like, yes, the prayers and the manifestation, but taking action.
And so I was praying and I sent the email moving the feet. I followed up with the email moving my feet. Me and Phoebe start connecting. I'm like, well clearly there's a reason. And so I say to Phoebe at one point, if you guys need anyone else, let me know. And so then fast forward like six months later.
like completely out of the blue. And I'm now at Pussy Mansion, which for context for anyone listening is a group of sex witches get together once a year, all from Layla Martin's training, Vida Coaching or Vida Coaching grads. And we get together once a year and we rent out a luxury villa in Crete.
and just do like pleasure prayer practices and loads of sacred sexuality work together, try different modalities. And so I was really in like the manifestation energy, like the eros energy. And so of course, I'm like there. And I can't remember who it was. Maybe it was Ali from the team, she reaches out and she's like, hey, you're still interested. And it's, you know, it's been like six or eight months since I sent the initial email. And I was like, yeah.
Yeah, of course I'm still interested. And so I'm back in it, I'm back playing in the manifestation, doing it almost daily until we have our phone call. And when we have our phone call, it was like, and of course, of course. Yeah, it was like half an hour and you were just like, of course.
How are you not coming on this retreat? And that was it. So I was really all of the things and one of the reasons I'm so excited for Ziva Magic is it is really about that daily embodied manifesting.
And that for me is really one of the secrets of life. When you hear me say like, I'm literally living my dream life, it's because of the ability to use my pleasure to pray every single day, every single day. And so I love that like our journey really began with
those tools. As I've been so honored to be part of the birthing process of this, I couldn't. Yeah, you're so deeply baked into the relationship. You've been on every in-person retreat since, every online retreat at the shooting of the course, and now with me, as we're about to launch it into the world, writing the theme song for it, channeling, improvising the theme song for it.
So I'm so grateful to have like your imprint, your transmission, your audacity, your permission, your innocence inside of this work. And so for people who really, this is the type of work, if you don't have a visceral imprint of it, it's almost impossible to know like how good it feels, what deep medicine it is.
Is there a story or a moment from a retreat that you can remember that you feel like a play on your deathbed side show or something you feel proud of? Yeah, I mean, there are so many because genuinely the transformation that I have been so honored to witness of people on the retreats is life-changing.
And I feel so grateful that I get to still catch up with them over time and the transmission and the transformation continues. Like the things that we even do just in that week continue and continue and continue like months and months and years later.
Why I'm so excited to take the medicine that we were serving on the retreats and now turn it into this two-month journey of the magic that also people can just come back to. Just because you take the course once, you're going to have these tools of visualized, alchemized magnetized, both the lectures and the embodied practices and the playlists. You're going to have those now. They can just come back to. I think that the cumulative ripple effect of that is going to be really massive.
It's huge, it's huge, it's huge. And the things that really stand out for me is, there's one particular participant, I won't say her name, but I'm sure you'll like, I just remember she came in and she was really like, you know, the body, like you can see the physical and body change, like this, like really, like not even making full eye contact. And I remember on the last day of the retreat,
Try and stop her dancing. Try and stop her like giving everybody a high five and a hug and just being like fully expressed in her aros energy and you know like in her mid 60s not like never feeling that that was going to be possible for her. Like never feeling that she would even be able to access that type of life force.
energy, it would bring me to tears to actually look at the joy and the smile and effect. She looked like a completely different person. Almost everyone does. We actually do before and after photos. We see the stress, the tiredness, the brittleness, the shame, the conditioning on people's faces, and then after just a few days of practicing this magic formula of visualized alchemized magnetized, of running this light force through their body, everyone gets hotter,
Everyone gets younger, and by that I mean, their biological age decreases. They look more vibrant, they look more vital, they look more joyous, their face soften, their eyes brighten, and so we started taking photos of it. It was like, this is a legit thing, and now there's science to back this up, and people who experience orgasm three times a week look biologically 10 years younger in age.
Isn't that wild? I'm not surprised. I'm just saying nothing of like immune boosting frequencies of the manifestation power of it. So something that people might not know that we do inside of the course is breathwork. And that's one of my favorite things to facilitate together is the breathwork.
So if you ever get to come and experience. But now they can. Now they can. We captured it. You know what? I was catching up with some of the retreat participants and what they said to me when I met one of them in London and he was saying he was like,
I am so excited to have Emily be able to guide me through this because I've been missing it. I've been missing it and the breath work in particular and you're just reminding me of seeing one of the participants on the last retreat and my favorite thing is
It was just the gentleness that actually your transmission brings in because I can feel like with breath work, sometimes it's like, go hard, go fast, go all the way, uproot like all the trauma in one go. And actually, it's not safe for the nervous system. So the way that I love that you do it is really way more trauma-informed. And it's like the way that it's like, oh, actually we get to go with this. And that's part of the medicine.
that your unique transmission, the way that I'm so fucking excited, I'm excited to do it. I've been waiting, no, I'm not kidding, I've actually been waiting for Sea of Magic, so I can do my three song dance party every day and do all of the practices at home because
the transformation that I have witnessed, and even when we started doing it online, and I was like, how is this gonna work? I know we were all like, how is this gonna work? What's gonna happen? And it was utterly transformational. It was utterly transformational, having it from people doing it in their own homes. And there's also a layer of safety that that gets to bring when you're in your own home, and you get to do it. It makes it so accessible.
Yeah, thanks for bringing that up. There's lots of people who are never going to go to a retreat who do not feel comfortable being in any sort of sexual energy with someone other partner or with other themselves. So we're just realistically never going to go on a retreat. And now they get to experience this not just once, but in an ongoing fashion, they can revisit it. Like the thing I like to think about is, oh, you can do Ziva Magic once and manifest your dream person.
And then you can do it again and manifest a baby. And then you can do it again and manifest your job. And then you can do it again and manifest health. You can truly move through this as many times as you want. And I do feel really proud of that transmission of safety.
And so I hear that a lot that only feels safe with you, Emily, I trust you. And I think that largely one of the reasons why people can feel safe with me and trust me is that I know that I have you and Phoebe there with me and you are a therapist and you are trauma-informed and you are sex level relationship coaches. I think it really allows me to walk people right up to their edge, not past it, but right up to that growth edge. And it gives me
a bit of buttressing to be bold and audacious, but not re-traumatized, not take people past where their bodies can handle because you have such training and depth and that has been informed and baked into these modalities. I want to say thank you for that. So welcome. I truly thank you.
And so for anyone listening to this right now, who's like, no thanks, like, I don't want to feel my feelings. I don't want to touch any of the sadness or sorrow or rage that happens in emotional alchemy. No thanks. I don't even care about or want to touch my pleasure. That feels too scary. That feels wrong and bad and sinful and shameful.
I know that you're so good at taking people's blocks of letting you really see that whatever is is their portal. Like, what would you say to someone who's really quite genuinely afraid of doing this work and all that it entails?
just really feeling so much love. Like in this moment, I can feel them. Like I feel really emotional feeling into the people that will like receive this cause and just feeling like so much love for those parts of them that feel afraid, that that is so welcome, that their fear is so welcome because
The other side of that fear is so much aliveness. It's so much aliveness. Like an aliveness that actually is almost difficult to conceptualize. So the fear makes sense because that aliveness doesn't feel safe. Like what is unfamiliar is unsafe. That's a fact. Like our nervous systems feel what is unfamiliar is unsafe. So just for anyone listening, like it makes so much sense that you
might feel afraid. That's so welcome. It's so welcome. And that fear has likely kept you alive. That fear has only kept you safe. So let's thank it. Let's love it. And then remember that you're in charge and you get to choose now. Does this feel like a yes? Does it feel like a no?
And really that you, whoever's listening, that you really get to go at your pace. The way that Ziva Magic is done is so that you can go at your pace. And one of my favorite things about when we were doing it in Austin was
hearing everybody's stories as well. Having people like Jennifer there who know she came and she was on the retreats and I know that she shares this in the course and has given us permission to really talk about her journey.
But how what the fear that she would have felt like going into this and then the aliveness that was on the other side. And I remember when we're in Austin, like really her saying that about the fear.
and just being really willing, like for anyone, like really willing to feel it, and that the way that you teach it creates that safety to feel the fear as the medicine, that that really is part of your unique transmission, is that it's not about pushing it. It's not about going too fast. It's like as we've been speaking a lot, the incremental changes. And that I really, if I'm speaking to that fear right now, and I want to just like hold it with so much love and just let it know that
It gets to be so good. It doesn't have to be afraid. It doesn't have to be afraid that pleasure gets to be safe.
And that it's going to get so good, so good that things will be becoming and experiencing things beyond your wildest imagination. Because that step of like visualize, alchemize and then magnetize. So using the alchemization to like feel those feelings. And a lot of people on the retreat, like I really want to normalize this, feeling the feelings was tough.
Yeah. Really, really strong. I think the alchemy is bigger medicine and sometimes scarier for folks than the magnetized. Yeah, than the pleasure, for sure. And I'm curious if there was anyone's journey that you witnessed, that when you feel into the people that this course is going to reach, there's anyone's journey that really like
sings to your heart, that you're like, this is why I'm doing this. Yeah. So funny, there was a man who came to New York. We actually did Ziva Live, and then we did a two-hour workshop of what would become Ziva Magic.
And then he ended up joining us on the retreat. And I remember I could feel how much trauma was in his body. It was a lot. And it made me question my ability to hold it. And because I'm not a therapist, I would say at this point, I have well over 10,000 hours of dealing with people's trauma, of unstressing. And so while I'm not officially trauma-informed,
I like to buttress myself with amazing professionals like yourself and Phoebe, but I do have more than 10,000 hours of like help holding space for people releasing their physical trauma. And I felt like this was an edge for me. I was like, I don't know if I have the tools to hold him. And then I could feel the release of his trauma triggering the whole room.
And I was like, okay, this is pushing me to an edge. And then I could feel myself not wanting him to go on the retreat, which is really just me not trusting myself and not trusting the work. And he did end up coming on the retreat. And there was a lot of release. And it was very triggering for myself and people in the room because
Just like, I think that because for many of us, when we were first exposed to intense emotions, it was in an unsafe way. Oh, daddy's angry, he's drinking. I'm not safe. Anger equals not safety. Mommy's depressed and sad, and she doesn't know how to make dinner for me right now. And so my safety is in question, and so sadness equals unsafe. And so for so many of us, we were never shown or modeled what a healthy expression of emotion looks like.
And so when we see someone else experiencing big emotions, it makes us feel terrified or that our lives are even in danger. So we're just really honoring that little kid inside of all of us, and honoring that little kid inside of me, and honoring that little kid inside of all the people in the room, and honoring that sweet little kid inside of this man who had experienced so much trauma. But seeing his transformation on moving through the Siva Magic formula of visualized alchemized magnetized, and him
I think going from almost a very masculine way of attacking his trauma, I'm going to get through this. I'm going to burn through all of this trauma. I'm going to do this breath work so hard. I'm going to scream and rage and let it all out, almost from this desperation.
to really learning how to hold space for himself, like learning gentleness with himself, learning that there's no race or rush and that actually he can just let it shed and he can let it flow out of him and then seeing the wild transformation that happened in his body and nervous system and how he became almost like the mascot for the entire retreat was nothing short of miraculous.
And I think that if the definition of miracle is transitioning from fear to love, he did that in his own body. He transitioned from fear of this pain to love of this pain. And that became one of those beautiful examples of alchemy I've ever seen. And it actually made me have so much more faith, not necessarily in myself, but much more faith in the work.
and in the capacity for this formula to hold the bigness of people's personal suffering and trauma, but ultimately the collective. One of the reasons why I'm so drawn to doing these activations in Egypt is that it is so close to Gaza. There has been so much divisiveness, so much suffering happening there for so long and it's getting so highlighted right now.
And us suffering about the suffering is not helping the suffering, what is helping the suffering, but it's not helping humanity, right? It's amplifying more suffering. And so it's like, and Robert Edgar Grant has a saying, this is, in a time of extreme darkness, we have an opportunity and a responsibility to bring more light. And so it's like, how can we create this light inside of our own nervous systems for us individually? And then how can we do this for the collective?
You know what's amazing? I remember with this particular transformation in his story is he didn't think he could do it himself. Yeah. And that was the biggest transformation for him, was that he, through the practices and the tools, he was doing his own healing. He wasn't going to a shaman. He wasn't going to, like, external medicine. No, no, he was doing it himself. Yeah. And that is one of the things that I know with this course, and I'm such an advocate for,
And even when I teach de-armoring, I'm not doing de-armoring for you. You're doing it for you. And it's because, for me, it's about giving the power back. It's like, let's give that power, empower people. And I'm just like, here, streaming my eyes out, feeling what I'm feeling right now is like, really, I'm feeling every time. And I know that this is one of the reasons when I saw your face pop up in my meditation, almost two years ago now.
When all that happened, it's still the same feeling. It's the feeling of how this work is going to transform people's lives and how the liberation that then people get to experience. And this man in particular, how this now impacts his daughter,
and I have had the absolute honor of hearing about it. And it's unimaginable that the ripple effects that this work has, and even coming back to my own journey from that broken woman, that woman who felt so lost and so broken, that it's the stepping every single day into more and more of this aliveness. And you never know the doors that it opens you.
That 27-year-old, did she think she's going to be sitting right here right now? This super swanky podcast studio in Times Square with this incredible woman who is such an inspiration and role model in my life and business. And it's such a manifestation. All of it is such a manifestation in so many ways. And you know what? I feel really fucking worthy of it.
Yes. And it's because of this was. Yes. So let's talk about worthiness. And as we start to bring it home and wrap it up, because I think that actually that we were talking about earlier, that ability to hold space for yourself and realize that I am my own healer. Yeah. The ability to face this fear, this trauma, this rage, this sorrow, this unworthiness, the ability to meet it with love. Yeah.
Once you do that, you do start to trust yourself more. You start to feel worthy of the desires because you feel worthy. It's like you've proven to yourself, you can hold the pain. And so it's like, oh, I trust that I can actually hold the pleasure. I trust that I am worthy of receiving this much goodness. And so what has, what has this worked on for your worthiness?
completely transformational. It's almost difficult to put words to it because I probably used and I definitely didn't feel worthy before and wouldn't have felt worthy. Now I feel so worthy.
And I think a lot of people don't understand that usually that unworthiness, that not enoughness, is one of the only things keeping you from manifestations. For sure. Because if you have the desire, I believe that it is divinely inspired. Nature's already given it to you. So that our only job is removing any conditioning, belief, or trauma that would suggest that we are not worthy of receiving the desire. And that to me feels like a really exciting code to transmit to the species.
you know what actually and we haven't touched on it so much yet but what I really want to bring home for people as well is in the magnetized portion like pleasure prayer the science behind it yes is like so juicy because this is where I get really nerdy and as as I was speaking about being like
Bridge between. Your nerd is welcome here. Yeah. Let me give people context on what pleasure prayer is. And then please bring us the sounds for sure. So in the Ziva Magic formula, we've got visualize, alchemize, magnetize. And in magnetize, we help people to use their pleasure to pray. So you get really clear on something that you want. And then the alchemize is clearing anything standing in the way of like, if there's sacred sorrow that hasn't happened yet, rage that it may never happen. And then from that clear channel, we turn on the magnet and the generator. We turn on the pleasure in the body and we bring it up into the vision.
And at the moment of peak pleasure or at the moment of whatever is the most ecstatic state available to you in that moment, we dedicate all of that pleasure to the dream, to the vision. So can you tell us, like, why does magnetize work? Why would anyone even want to use their pleasure to pray? What is the science behind this?
There is so much science, and I mean, we could spend a whole podcast episode on the science. But what I'm going to give is my favorite tidbits of it. And because really, one of the things that I really want people to understand is that, yes, there's a lot of magic that happens. There is a lot within the realms of the universe and the weavings of quantum theory and the unseen realms that gets to happen. Love that. I'm now bored into that from someone who didn't believe in chakras to now being live. Emily Fletcher is showing up in your meditation.
and being quantumly entangled with the universe and literally letting everything birth through me is that the real hard science behind using our pleasure to pray is that we change on neurochemistry. When we are infusing pleasure into our dreams is that we are infusing the pleasure and when you're tapping into that creative life force energy, you are creating this chemical cocktail.
like this bliss chemistry of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin. And when you have all of that around, you're feeling good. Like you feel alive. It feels electric. It feels delicious.
And so when you start to infuse your dream into that chemical cocktail, it starts to feel good to have your dream. Your brain starts to, and your body, your nervous system, you know we were saying whatever feels unfamiliar feels unsafe. That starts to allow this to feel familiar, so it feels safe. And it not only allows it to feel familiar and safe, but it allows it to feel so fucking good.
And so then what happens? So you have this like, okay, it's feeling safe. It's now feeling good. I'm now like, so that's opening you up to be like, oh, wow, this dream is no longer scary. So those thoughts of like, I'm not worthy of this. This dream is going to say self-sabish. Literally don't exist because it starts to feel so good and so safe to have it. Your body actually forgets that you don't have it already. So then when the opportunities come up,
It's like, oh yeah, of course. Of course. It becomes an, of course. So when we had that conversation on the phone, I knew I was already in Costa Rica because I'd done it a hundred times in my meditations. I was like, I was like, of course I'm going to be in Costa Rica. Of course I'm going to be sitting here on the podcast. Of course I'm going to be like running the biggest Tantra school in London. Like we'll get there. I know it, of course. Of course I'm going to be training like millions of people to be Tantra facilitators so that we can spread more of that magic.
find wide and shift the way that society and the planet behaves, of course. And it's that worthy, like I feel so worthy of it because I've lived it and it's felt good to live it a hundred times and I'm doing it every single day. Yes, amen. And then when the opportunity comes, which it will, it's like you're greeting a long lost lover versus like, oh no, this is the thing that's going to make or break my career.
And I'm afraid of it. What if it doesn't go right? What if it doesn't go well? Yeah. And instead of that question, we can ask the question, let's see how good it can get. Let's see how good it can get. So Rosa, I'm quite sure that people are falling madly in love with you.
seeing your beautiful face inside of Ziva Magic. Besides joining us in person on our next Ziva Magic retreats, where can people find you? So they can find me at rosamaxwell on Instagram, my website rosamaxwell.co.uk, or the London School of Tantra.co.uk. And that's London School of Tantra without the the London School of Tantra. And you are launching your first facilitator training, yes?
Oh my god, yes. And it is the easiest birth I have ever experienced. And this is part of the power of the work is that I'm just getting out of my own way and letting the energy flow through me. Everything is downloading. We're already 25% full and it's been less than a month. Less than a month, 25% full on the first training.
And so I'm really excited. So if there's anyone who is really interested in going deeper into this work in the tantric space and learning how to facilitate it for others, this mission is so big that I'm like, I can't do it by myself. And so I'm so excited to create this movement of individuals, of community,
connecting people deeper to their divinity through the cultivation of sexual energy and deep intimacy through the tantra, using really tantra as the tool to access this for other people. So if anyone wants to come and chat to me about that, I would be honored. I know anyone listening to this podcast who follows you. Oh my gosh, please come say hi. Yes. Yes. Get as much Rosa in your life as you can.
How was I? Thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for all of the love and generosity and creativity that you've poured into the birthing of Ziba Magic. I'm so excited to keep making magic with you as our lives weave and we get and magic gets to work through us.
And sweet friends, thank you for joining us on today's episode of why isn't everyone doing this? Why isn't everyone using their pleasure to pray? Why isn't everyone tapping into pleasure as a life force energy? I know that you must be falling in love with Rosa. So if there was something that we said, if there was something that got reframed, reclaimed for yourself, I invite you to take a screenshot of this. Tag us on Instagram. I'm at Ziva Meditation. She's at the Rosa Maxwell.
At Rosa Maxwell. At Rosa Maxwell. Straight up. And we'd love to know, we'd love to hear from you, what we are ahas, what we are takeaways. And if you have not yet checked out Ziva Magic, we are birthing it into the world as we speak. And this is one that both of us have put many, many years of time and creativity and love into, and are really, really excited for you to experience the transmission that is Ziva Magic. So we can get to zivameditation.com and check that out. We love you.
We'll see you next week on why isn't everyone doing this? Sweet friends, it is happening. We are creating a beautiful event called Magic Maker. It is happening on October 16th and you do not want to miss this. This is the kickoff. This is the birthing of a new modality, a new body of work that I have poured my heart and soul into for the last four years. And I could not be more excited to share this event with you. This is going to be your chance to come and get crystal clear on what you want to manifest.
We're going to help you to unblock any limiting beliefs that are going to help you to alchemize the fear that things keeping you from your dreams and actually turn it into fuel for your dreams. If you are ready to get your manifestations out of your head and into your body and if you're ready to turn yourself all the way on to tap into the most magnetic and creative
force on the planet, then you are invited to join me live for free workshop on October 16th. All you have to do is go to zebameditation.com slash make magic. So that's z-i-v-a meditation.com slash make magic. So do not miss this. Stop what you're doing. Go to zebameditation.com slash make magic. This is going to be one of the most powerful and potent Ziva transmissions in Ziva history. I love you and I'll see you there.
Was this transcript helpful?
Recent Episodes
Emily's Live Workshop: Become A Magic Maker and Attract Your Dreams

Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
Emily hosts a live workshop sharing secrets to attract dream relationship, home, and career; announces new Embodied Manifesting Course 'Ziva Magic'; course blends ancient wisdom, modern science, and psychosomatic movement to help discover dreams, clear limiting beliefs, and magnetize desired life in few weeks, grounded in science but inspired by magic.
October 17, 2024
59. Becoming A Magic Maker with Emily Fletcher & Stephanie Robinson

Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
Emily Fletcher introduces Ziva Magic, a course for unlocking potential by visualizing, alchemizing, and magnetizing, helping students like Stephanie Robinson break through blocks and manifest clarity and abundance in their lives.
October 15, 2024
58. Reclaiming Your Pleasure | Magic Maker Spotlight | Jade Bryce

Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
Discover Jade Bryce's journey from Playboy model to sacred sexuality coach, exploring the links between pleasure, healing trauma, self-love, and manifestation. Learn about her work as a tantrica, pleasure activist, and trauma-informed coach.
October 10, 2024
56. Living an Embodied Life | Sheila Kelley

Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
Sheila Kelley, feminine Embodiment Leader and founder of S Factor, discusses erotic embodiment as a means to personal freedom and transformative practice with Emily Fletcher. They delve into suppressing societal norms on feminine energy, benefits of body healing through movement, Sheila's journey leading to the creation of S Factor, and how tapping into full aliveness changes life.
October 01, 2024
Related Episodes
58. Reclaiming Your Pleasure | Magic Maker Spotlight | Jade Bryce

Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
Discover Jade Bryce's journey from Playboy model to sacred sexuality coach, exploring the links between pleasure, healing trauma, self-love, and manifestation. Learn about her work as a tantrica, pleasure activist, and trauma-informed coach.
October 10, 2024
60. Practicing Ziva Magic with Emily Fletcher

Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
Four students share their life-changing experiences using Ziva Magic, an Embodied Manifesting practice that uses Visualize, Alchemize, and Magnetize to manifest personal and professional shifts. They discuss the power of embodiment, feelings, and sexual energy as creative forces, limitations, and more.
October 22, 2024
481: How To Use Sensual Energy For Manifesting with Mia Magik

Highest Self Podcast®
Learn about activating your feminine energy to manifest a fulfilling life and discover ways to connect with and listen to your body through pleasure, self-massage, sensual experiences in a podcast series called ''. This balance of masculine and feminine energies is essential for realizing your dreams.
February 06, 2023
59. Becoming A Magic Maker with Emily Fletcher & Stephanie Robinson

Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher
Emily Fletcher introduces Ziva Magic, a course for unlocking potential by visualizing, alchemizing, and magnetizing, helping students like Stephanie Robinson break through blocks and manifest clarity and abundance in their lives.
October 15, 2024

Ask this episodeAI Anything

Hi! You're chatting with Why Isn't Everyone Doing This? with Emily Fletcher AI.
I can answer your questions from this episode and play episode clips relevant to your question.
You can ask a direct question or get started with below questions -
What is the purpose of the Magic Maker event?
How do Rosa Maxwell and Emily Fletcher define permission?
What transformative practices are mentioned in the text?
What are the benefits of transformational retreats?
How does pleasure contribute to personal growth according to the text?
Sign In to save message history