3401: Stop Depriving Yourself and Get What You Really Want by Chris of Keep Thrifty on Choosing Happiness

This is Optimal Living Daily. Stop depriving yourself and get what you really want by Chris of KeepThrifty.com and I'm Justin Malik. Welcome back to our usual Sunday bonus episode where I share an episode from one of the other podcasts in the Optimal Living Daily Network, usually overlapping with the kinds of themes that come up here. Today's episode comes from Optimal Finance Daily.

You can follow or subscribe to that show wherever you're hearing this, and if you enjoy what you're about to hear. So with that, let's get right to the post and commentary from Diana as we optimize for life.

From the outside in, frugality and minimalism often look like acts of self deprivation. After all, eating out is easier and tastes better than a home cooked meal, and getting a new gadget or outfit puts a smile on your face. Why would we deprive ourselves of these little luxuries? We used to deprive ourselves a lot.

Years ago, Jamie and I ate out. A lot! We'd get dinner from restaurants two to three times a week, and ice cream and treats a whole lot more than that. We'd also regularly buy nice little things to decorate our home. A decorative painted canvas over here, a leather pottery barn catch-all over there. Fashions would change and our home decorations would be out of style. So we'd go get new ones. The excitement would last for a day or two.

and then dissipate. The same went for clothing and gadgets. Every purchase felt positive in the moment, but a few hours or days later, the high was gone. We thought we were treating ourselves, but we were actually depriving ourselves.

While we had all of our little luxuries, we were missing out on the big luxuries, our dreams. As an example, we continuously told ourselves that we couldn't afford to travel because we never had enough money. Whenever we tried to save, we'd get frustrated at our lack of progress. Saving money was hard because we didn't want to give up what made us happy in the moment. Disappointed, we would give up and go back to our little luxury purchases.

We were stuck in a self-fulfilling cycle. We couldn't travel because of our flippant spending, so we made more flippant purchases and made travel unreachable. We wanted to do something big, but we were stuck doing small things instead. We deserved better. What you deserve. There is a store near our house that sells fancy napkins, candles, wine glasses, accessories, and other knick-knacky decorative stuff.

The slogan on their sign says it all, nothing you need, everything you deserve. That still gets my blood boiling. If you pay attention to commercials these days, you'll see a lot of marketing centers around the concept of treating yourself and about what you deserve. According to the ads, you deserve to look your best, feel your best, and do things that make you happy.

I don't disagree with that, but when these commercials tell you that a hamburger and fries or your 27th pair of shoes are going to do those things for you, I feel compelled to point out what this is. A bait and switch. Convincing you that you deserve little luxuries is the ultimate Jedi mind trick from the dark side of the Force.

They want us to think that we're depriving ourselves when we don't buy them, but we're depriving ourselves when we do. If it's a choice between the small stuff and the big stuff, we want the big stuff. We want the memories of an international vacation.

We want the lasting joy of having a reduced work schedule. We want the freedom of being debt-free. But giving up the little stuff to gain the big stuff is easier said than done. Master yourself. Get what you want. We've been following lots of great thinkers on frugality and minimalism.

And we've noticed that they all have something in common. The frugal and minimalist aren't masters of deprivation. They're masters of prioritization and masters of self. When faced with the choice between impulse purchase happiness or progress towards their dreams, they choose dreams. They're disciplined and dedicated with laser-like focus on what's important to them. While they push towards their goals, the inconsequential melts away.

That's what Jamie and I aspire to be, not masters of deprivation, but masters of our own selves. Once we slowed down our spending on the little luxuries, we found ourselves better able to achieve our real dreams, travel, freedom, and a mini retirement. As we decluttered and minimized, we realized that we already had enough.

The reason those additional purchases weren't providing lasting joy is that we already had what we needed, and they weren't going to provide the big things we really wanted. We're not perfect, nor do we ever expect to be, but we're working on getting better every year. We continuously try to identify what we value most and remove the rest.

We recognize that we're our own biggest obstacle when it comes to getting the freedom we desire. If we can master ourselves, we're certain to get it. Now, when we feel the urge to treat ourselves, we ask what that treat is really costing. Is it worth depriving us of our dreams? If we can live by that question, we can start to find joy in what we have and see the path to the future we want.

You just listen to the post titled Stop Depriving Yourself and Get What You Really Want by Chris of KeepThrifty.com I believe that if you reduce your expenses without shifting your desires, it will feel like deprivation. Many of us want material abundance because we've been conditioned since birth to be good consumers and desire luxuries. In the words of Mr. Money mustache, luxury is a weakness.

It's also a distraction from more sustainable forms of happiness and pleasure. If you can operate from the mindset that the best things in life are free, you're less likely to feel deprived. If you can stop focusing on the stuff you want to buy and instead start exploring how you want to use your time, who you want to spend it with, and what you want to create, the answers might surprise you. Most people will never experience the joy that comes with time abundance.

because they're too focused on having material abundance. While I don't have a big house or a luxury car or brand name clothing, I still feel rich because I have a rock solid support system, the resources and time for creative expression, and an able body that can go on long hikes, create beautiful meals, and twist into various shapes during yoga.

Moving away from materialistic tendencies has been a secret weapon for me in the pursuit of financial freedom. It's helped me realize that happiness and satisfaction in life doesn't come from possessions. It's much more driven by the expansion of possibilities. And that's a wrap for another Monday show. Have a great rest of your day and start to your week. And I'll be back tomorrow where Optimal Life awaits.