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271. Overcoming our purpose anxiety ft. Elizabeth Gilbert

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January 31, 2025

TLDR: In this podcast, author Elizabeth Gilbert discusses the misconception of 'purpose', identifies difference between career, hobby, job and calling, shares insights on overcoming setbacks/failure, creative process, imposter syndrome, and authentic human experience.

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In the latest episode of The Psychology of Your 20s, host Jemma Sbeg interviews the renowned author Elizabeth Gilbert, known for her best-selling works Eat Pray Love and Big Magic. Their enlightening conversation focuses on understanding and overcoming the pervasive concept of purpose anxiety that plagues many people, particularly in their twenties.

Key Insights from the Episode

The Misconception of Purpose

  • Purpose Anxiety Defined: Gilbert highlights how the traditional notion of finding one's purpose often leads to confusion and anxiety. This anxiety stems from the belief that everyone has a unique purpose they must discover and fulfill.
  • Cultural Impact: Society promotes this idea through graduation speeches and self-help literature, suggesting that if you don't know your purpose, you have failed.

The Four Categories of Work

Gilbert introduces listeners to four distinct categories concerning one’s involvement with work and passion:

  • Hobby: Activities you engage in for enjoyment without the pressure of monetization or mastery.
  • Job: A necessity for income that doesn't require passion or joy. It’s simply an obligation; you don’t need to love it.
  • Career: A vocation that you are passionate about, where your work feels meaningful and fulfilling.
  • Calling: Something that fulfills you spiritually, which might not lead to financial gain. Not everyone has a calling, and that’s perfectly acceptable.

Shifting Perspective on Life

  • Life of Presence vs. Purpose: Gilbert advocates for a life centered on presence rather than a relentless pursuit of purpose. She argues that this obsession with future outcomes detracts from the richness of the human experience. By focusing on curiosity and what interests you, you can lead a fulfilling life without the pressures of purpose.
  • Accepting Uncertainty: Emphasizing the unpredictable nature of life, Gilbert encourages embracing the unexpected rather than striving for control. Acknowledging life’s uncertainties can help mitigate anxiety.

Managing Setbacks and Failures

Gilbert candidly shares her experiences with setbacks in her career. After the massive success of Eat Pray Love, she took a pause from public life to reconnect with herself, illustrating the necessity of grounding oneself amid chaos.

  • Grounding Practices: She mentions practical steps such as gardening, which helped her return to her roots and regain clarity.
  • Creative Living: Living creatively, according to Gilbert, requires a shift from fear to curiosity, allowing space to explore new ideas without self-judgment.

Practical Advice for the Audience

  • Relax and Observe: Life doesn’t have to be earned or proven. Instead, the focus should be on enjoying the present and the little things that make life interesting.
  • Avoid Enmeshment: Gilbert shares wisdom about personal relationships, advising listeners to avoid losing themselves in the pursuit of others’ love and validation.
  • Embrace Your Journey: It’s crucial to remember that everyone’s path is different. What works for one may not work for another, and that’s okay.

Conclusion

Elizabeth Gilbert’s insights into purpose anxiety not only deconstruct conventional wisdom but encourage a more authentic approach to life. Her emphasis on living with presence, embracing uncertainty, and understanding the distinctions between hobbies, jobs, careers, and callings provide valuable guidance for anyone grappling with similar issues.

Listeners are left with the powerful reminder that it's not about finding the perfect purpose but rather enjoying the journey of life itself.

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