Logo
    Search

    246. Dealing with pathological & compulsive liars

    enSeptember 21, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Understanding Pathological Liars and Photo Bleaching of RodsPathological liars have a psychological condition that compels them to lie repeatedly, while rods in the eyes are responsible for night vision and undergo photo bleaching after being exposed to bright light, requiring time to regenerate before functioning optimally in darkness.

      Dealing with pathological liars involves understanding the difference between their behavior and regular lying. Pathological liars, also known as compulsive liars, have a psychological condition that drives them to lie repeatedly, regardless of the consequences. Photo bleaching your rods, a topic related to the discussion, refers to the process of exposing the rod pigmentation in your eyes to bright light, making it transparent and requiring time to regenerate before you can see clearly in the dark. This episode also addressed a listener question specifically about dealing with a pathological liar. While discussing the brain fact, the host explained the importance of rods in the eyes, which are responsible for night vision and are highly sensitive to light. The recovery process of rods after being exposed to bright light is called photo bleaching, and it takes longer for rods to adapt to darkness than to light.

    • Two types of photoreceptors in our eyes: rods and conesRods are for low-light vision and color-blind, while cones provide color vision and detail. Rods can be temporarily blinded by bright light, taking hours to recover, while cones adapt quickly to light but slowly to darkness.

      Our eyes have two types of photoreceptors, rods, and cones, which serve different functions. Rods, responsible for low-light vision, are highly sensitive to light but cannot detect color. Cones, on the other hand, are responsible for high-detail, color vision and are located centrally in the eye. When rods are exposed to bright light, they become temporarily desensitized, a process known as bleaching or bleaching adaptation, which can take hours to recover from in dark conditions. This is why we can be temporarily blinded when entering a dark room after being in bright light. Additionally, the size of our pupils affects how quickly we adapt to light or dark conditions. Rods take much longer to adapt to darkness than cones do to light.

    • Understanding the Adaptation Process of Our Eyes and Pathological Lying in RelationshipsPathological lying in relationships can stem from complex psychological or emotional issues. Effective strategies include understanding causes, communication, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help.

      Our eyes, specifically the rods, require time to adapt to darkness and regenerate rhodopsin after being exposed to light. This process can take up to 30-40 minutes, and transitioning between bright and dark environments too frequently can hinder this process. In the context of relationships, one listener's question revolved around understanding and dealing with a partner's pathological lying. A pathological liar is an individual who compulsively lies without a clear motive. The root causes of this behavior can be complex, often involving underlying psychological or emotional issues. To effectively address pathological lying, it's essential to understand the underlying causes and implement strategies for communication, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help if necessary.

    • Understanding the Difference Between Occasional and Pathological LyingPathological lying involves lying about insignificant things, damages relationships, and can be a symptom of underlying disorders, while occasional lying helps avoid consequences.

      The difference between occasional lying and pathological lying lies in the clarity and significance of the benefit gained from the lie. While occasional lying may help avoid consequences or embarrassment, pathological lying involves lying about insignificant things that seem unnecessary and can damage relationships. Pathological lying is a symptom of various underlying disorders, including OCD, narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and trauma. It can also stem from childhood experiences of unmet needs. A study published in PubMed found an increase in prefrontal white matter in pathological liars, specifically in the orbital, middle, and inferior parts of the brain. Detecting a pathological liar involves observing inconsistencies in their stories, a lack of remorse, and a disregard for the impact of their lies on others.

    • The link between lying and white matter in the brainSome studies suggest lying frequently can increase white matter, while others propose individuals with high white matter may be predisposed. White matter strengthens neural pathways, but inconsistent stories and fabrications indicate compulsive lying.

      The relationship between high levels of white matter in certain brain regions and pathological lying is still unclear. While some studies suggest that excessive lying may lead to increased white matter in these areas due to frequent use, others propose that individuals with high white matter in these regions may be predisposed to lying. White matter is essential for effective communication between brain cells, and its presence can strengthen neural pathways. However, detecting pathological lying involves observing inconsistencies in stories, fabrications of experiences, and dramatic embellishments. These behaviors can be indicative of a compulsive lying habit. It's important to remember that the presence of white matter does not definitively prove or disprove a person's tendency to lie.

    • Understanding Liars' BehaviorsLiars may manipulate situations, become defensive, and lie about trivial matters or expertise. They may change stories or deny lies, making communication and fact-checking essential.

      Liars often try to manipulate situations by portraying themselves as victims or heroes, and they may become defensive or aggressive when confronted. They may lie about trivial matters and exaggerate their achievements, and they may try to make you justify your doubts instead of justifying their lies. They may also lie about having expertise in a topic but lack actual knowledge, and they may lie about their wealth or success to impress others. Liars may also change their stories or deny having told certain versions of events, and they may turn the situation around to make you appear as the problem. Dealing with a liar can be extremely frustrating and may require careful communication and fact-checking to uncover the truth.

    • Approaching a Pathological Liar in a Close RelationshipWhen dealing with a pathological liar in a close relationship, address inconsistencies privately and calmly to encourage accountability.

      When dealing with a pathological liar in a close relationship, such as a co-parent, it's essential to approach the situation carefully. Publicly calling them out is not recommended as it may lead to defensiveness and escalation. Instead, try to address the issue privately and calmly. Instead of accusing them of lying, gently remind them of inconsistencies in their story. While the likelihood of them admitting their lies is low, this approach lets them know that you're aware of their inconsistencies and encourages accountability. Remember, dealing with a pathological liar can be challenging, so choose your battles wisely and focus on the important aspects of the relationship.

    • Staying Calm When Confronting a LiarWhen dealing with a consistent liar, stay calm, express your desire for honesty, ask questions without accusing, and use silence to make them uncomfortable.

      When dealing with someone who lies consistently, it's essential to maintain composure and avoid getting angry. Anger can be perceived as a weakness, and liars may use it to their advantage. Instead, try to approach the situation with honesty and openness, expressing your desire for a truthful and trusting relationship. If you suspect a lie, ask questions without accusing, and use silence to make the liar uncomfortable. By staying calm and persistent, you may eventually make the liar question their own dishonesty and damage the relationship. Remember, anger is a lack of control, and maintaining control is crucial in these situations.

    • Understanding Pathological LiarsPathological liars can change with acknowledgement and therapy, but their lies are often about their own experiences and stem from deeper issues.

      Dealing with a pathological liar can be challenging, but they are capable of change if they acknowledge their lies and are willing to work on it. It's important to approach the situation with compassion and understanding, as their lying may stem from deeper insecurities or psychological issues. While not every pathological liar is a bad person, their lies are typically about their own experiences and actions rather than spreading gossip or causing harm to others. Therapy and self-awareness can be effective in helping them break the cycle of lying. Remember, it's not a character flaw to lie, but rather a complex issue that requires empathy and patience to address.

    • Setting Boundaries in Toxic RelationshipsFocus on creating a healthy co-parenting dynamic, communicate effectively, avoid unnecessary confrontations, prioritize your child's well-being, and practice forgiveness without forgetting.

      While forgiveness is important for personal mental health, it's crucial to establish clear boundaries and learn how to teach people how to treat you. In the context of a toxic relationship, particularly with an ex or someone you have limited control over, it's essential to recognize that you can't change others' behaviors or lies. Instead, focus on creating a healthy co-parenting dynamic, communicating effectively, and avoiding unnecessary confrontations. Remember, the well-being of your child should be your top priority. By setting boundaries and practicing forgiveness without forgetting, you can maintain a respectful and functional relationship while protecting your own emotional well-being.

    • Prioritize your mental health when dealing with a toxic co-parentFocus on setting healthy boundaries for yourself and protecting your well-being when dealing with a toxic co-parent. Remember, it's not about being the bigger person or taking responsibility for their behavior.

      When dealing with a toxic co-parent, prioritize your own mental health and peace of mind. It's not about being the bigger person or taking responsibility for their behavior. Instead, set healthy boundaries for yourself and focus on what you can control. Remember, you are responsible for your own well-being and it's essential to protect it. If your co-parent chooses to act out, that's on them. Keep in mind that being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others. Don't let anyone, including yourself, bring you down. If you have any listener questions, feel free to email them in at info@dyfmpod.com. And as always, love and support to all our listeners, no matter where you are in the world. Stay strong and take care of yourself.

    Recent Episodes from Do You F*cking Mind?

    345. Change Your Money Mindset and Live Your Rich Life with Ramit Sethi

    345. Change Your Money Mindset and Live Your Rich Life with Ramit Sethi

    On this episode I have the perfect guest to discuss money mindset, social psychology around money and how to live your rich life. Ramit Sethi, author of "I will teach you to be rich" shares some golden pieces of information and answers some of your questions when it comes to saving, spending, investing and how to change your money mindset. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Do You F*cking Mind?
    enJuly 10, 2024

    342. Work Anxiety and Feelings of Inadequacy at Work

    342. Work Anxiety and Feelings of Inadequacy at Work

    What to do when you feel inadequate or that you are falling short at work? Even if you are confident in every other area of your life. Work anxiety gets to so many people so lets talk about how we can begin to dismantle these thoughts and start really feeling confident and more comfortable at work. 

    Brain fact: the role of GABA in Anxiety and mood disorders and how a lack of GABA is linked with an inability to inhibit unwanted thoughts. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Do You F*cking Mind?
    enJuly 01, 2024

    340. 5 things to accept in your life to become happier and more in control

    340. 5 things to accept in your life to become happier and more in control

    Bonjour my beans! 

    On this episode we go over five things to truely accept and welcome into your life so you can be happier, more in control of your decisions, feel more confident in your choices and also be more care free. I want you to write these down, have them by your bed and read them every single morning so they become solidified into your awareness. 

    Brain / Science fact : MSG what is it and is it really bad for you or nah? 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Do You F*cking Mind?
    enJune 25, 2024

    339. How to reset and become driven when all you want to do is ROT in bed

    339. How to reset and become driven when all you want to do is ROT in bed

    This episode is for anyone experiencing that feeling of 'Bed ROT' - where all you want to do is lay in bed (or the couch) for HOURS on end, scrolling on your devices and having no drive or motivation to do anything else. How to know what is happening here and how to TURN IT AROUND. 

    Brain Fact : Why smell is the strongest trigger for emotions and memories of all the senses. 

    Life update - MEEEE in Paris! and the Paris bean catch up! 


    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Do You F*cking Mind?
    enJune 16, 2024

    338. ENCORE: How memories work, how we form them, improve them and how they can be manipulated

    338. ENCORE: How memories work, how we form them, improve them and how they can be manipulated

    This episode is an encore of one of my favourite episodes of all time, where I dive deep into the minutiae of memory, how false memories are formed, how we can implant memories and how memories can be manipulated, and how you can improve your own memory.

    In this episode I’ll discuss how memories form, how consolidation happens, the difference between short term and long term memory, what happens to your memory when you get lesions or accidents or certain brain conditions like strokes or brain damage.

    At the end I'll touch on ways that you can actually improve your memory and I think it's important because memory is one of the major causes of stress and depression. So pay attention!

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    337. ENCORE: How to be Self-Assured and Comfortable in Your Own Skin

    337.  ENCORE: How to be Self-Assured and Comfortable in Your Own Skin

    My lovely BEANS I’m currently on vacation in Europe, so we're diving into the back catalogue to revisit one of my favourite episodes all about self-confidence and self-assurance.

    It's a topic that I get asked a lot about a lot, and I think it's important to touch on this topic. And I think that self-assurance is something that needs to be worked on all the time just like a muscle, just like your health. So, what is self-assurance and where does it come from? A lot of us struggle to assert ourselves in certain situations, especially when we feel pressure from ourselves, society, our parents, our friends.

    If you’re always trying to please others at the expense of yourself then this episode is for you! I've got 7 points for you to follow for what to do to increase your self assurance. Let's do it!

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    336. Painful In-Laws and How to Deal with Them

    336. Painful In-Laws and How to Deal with Them

    A difficult in-law relationship can really make your life haaard. It puts pressure on your romantic relationship, strain on your mental health and can make your home life more stressed.

    I go through some questions asked by you about your in-law relationships and give my advice on how best to manage those tricky dynamics and keep your sanity.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Related Episodes

    I Hate Dating...Nevermind He Just Texted Me Back

    I Hate Dating...Nevermind He Just Texted Me Back

    S and M discuss today's toxic dating environment with guest and reformed-dating-guru, Linda.  Have dating apps like Bumble and Tinder created an environment where narcissists thrive and predators find easy prey?  What are some red flags to look for?  And is it even worth it???  Join us as we answer these questions.  Or try to.  Maybe. 

    Ophthalmology (EYES) with Reid Wainess

    Ophthalmology (EYES) with Reid Wainess

    75% of adult Americans have wonky vision of some kind, your host included. Longtime pal and real-life eye surgeon, Dr. Reid Wainess answers all the questions that you never bring up during appointments. He and Alie chat about how eyes are just little cameras in your skull, glasses vs. contacts, Lasik, why we cry, some boggling ER stories, how marijuana effects eyeballs, floaters, cataracts, eye color, dogs in goggles and more. Also: what happens if you choke under pressure and pick the wrong options in an eye exam? HOW SCREWED ARE YOU?

    Dr. Reid Wainess's practice

    If you're in LA and and want Dr. Wainess to be your eye doc: 1-800-898-2020

    More episode sources & links

    Become a patron of Ologies for as little as a buck a month

    OlogiesMerch.com has hats, shirts, pins, totes!

    Follow @Ologies on Twitter and Instagram

    Follow @AlieWard on Twitter and Instagram

    Sound editing by Steven Ray Morris

    Theme song by Nick Thorburn