This is how to have an ego because everybody's telling you not to. People look at you respecting yourself as having an ego. 2025? Yes, we have an ego. Hi, friends. I got a new robe. So we're wearing it for the podcast. A lot of people in TikTok are talking bad and like trying to bully me about my other robe. So I bought two more and I'm going to wear this one to pith everybody off.
I want to talk about the whole thing around people trying to not have an ego. Having an ego nowadays means you respect yourself. For you to not tolerate disrespect from other people, that is when they do the whole, ah, you have an ego. You just think you're too great. You think you're too this. If people call that having an ego, so yes, we have egos. When you try to be understanding
toward people and the way that they treat you. You are so understanding to a point you make room for excuses and you tolerate disrespect. You tolerate unfair treatment. Your first reaction to disrespect and people doing bullshit should not be to turn a knife on yourself and try and figure out how you can be okay with it. No, we got a list of points to run through. So let's do this.
When I say have an ego, what I mean is respect yourself. What I really mean is have a fucking boundary. Having an ego used to mean someone had a very high degree of misplaced confidence.
They thought that they could do no wrong. Arrogant, asshole, they thought they were better than everybody, justified treating other human beings poorly or less than because they made more money, looked a certain way, achieved certain things, were born into a certain family, whatever. An ego used to mean that. It used to mean such a fragile self-concept. You cannot even entertain the thought that you did something wrong. You can do no wrong because for you to even question it, no, you're perfect.
That's what being your statistical was all about before, because having an ego is just self-concept. So we're talking zero accountability, goose egg, that is what an ego used to be. Like I said, it seems to have changed. So, given the new definition, point number one I want to talk about is being humble. Stop downplaying yourself.
to make other people feel better about not being enough. Being humble blinds you to the value you have to offer or how you can be of use to others. If your first reaction is discredit yourself, when you see a situation happening, okay, I could do this thing.
But your brain immediately goes, oh, I have to be humble. I can't be egotistical. I can't speak anything of value I see in myself. I can't speak a strength or a skill or anything. So you discredit yourself and you get the imposter syndrome and you talk yourself down from putting yourself in a situation you could contribute value to. That's a fucking issue. And that's what this whole having an ego thing has pushed people to. So when most people say you need to be humble,
What they're telling you is you need to pretend not to see the value in yourself. Okay? And if you do see it and it threatens me in any way or makes me feel inferior in any way, you're egotistical. You need to be more humble. You need to humble your stuff. That's how it goes. So when I said this makes people very, very insecure, I dealt with it too.
I got brought to a point this year.
fuck the humble shit you need to see exactly the value you can offer and speak it and not in like a false misplaced confidence way you need to see what you could do and do it and the biggest thing what a lot of people holding them back from making money
Because you're trying to be humble. There are people in this world right now making 10 times more than you. And they're only half as fucking good as you. And they're only in that position because you ain't stood up to go take that spot. If you're the best, it speaks for itself.
So with the whole hum-booking, oh, I need to humble myself. Enough, enough with it. This is also a big reason why a lot of people feel lost because your brain and your subconscious perceives it as unsafe to recognize value in yourself. You can't even recognize what your purpose is because you can't fucking see it. You're so scared of being judged by everybody. You're just rotting yourself and you're blinding yourself to your value you can offer and you're blinding yourself to your purpose.
What is so bad about just going into it? If you haven't done it, you know what it's like to not do it. So it's time to flip this on its head. If people can't handle that you are better at certain things than them, that's not your issue. Because you're there to serve others also, not just them. It's not about just making people feel comfortable. It's not about tiptoeing and living your life in a way where you don't offend people. Who gives a fuck?
but I do also want to talk about you have to know when to sit down. So when you know that you're the best at something or you know that you can offer value to something and you can be of use, know your place. Perfect example. For me, when I get on an airplane, I understand hierarchy and there is superiority. There are people who are better at certain things. So a pilot, if something happens with the plane,
I'm not going to go over there and try and start calling the shots and like, oh, you should do this. You should do that. No, I'm going to sit there and shut up because the pilot is trained. He has the superiority. He has more value to offer in a situation, not me. I played Grand Theft Auto. I've stolen a helicopter on a fucking video game. I don't know how to fly a real plane. You know, it's like when I was a nurse, when I was in the operating room, the surgeon,
has the authority. Everybody else needs to know when to sit back and shut up. These little texts like surgical texts that are students, they try and like correct the surgeons. No, you need to watch it. If you see something is actually wrong, approach it, communicate it, voice it, do not go into it with the whole, I know better than you. You're a fucking scrub tech and that's a surgeon. Watch your mouth and show some respect. So I'm very big on when it's your time to step up, step up.
And when it's your time to step back, know when to step back. You're not the best at everything. There are going to be situations where you need to lead and you need to be led. So if you actually can step up and prevent a problem and save something, you don't need to be in the back of your head all worried and all scared. Oh, I can't seem cocky. I can't seem like I have an ego. If you're educated and you're skilled and you know what's going on, offer it. Get out of your head with the whole, oh, I can't have an ego.
You're not having an ego. You all have the same goal. Like if you use the situation with the operating room, everybody has the same goal. Help the patient, save the patient, make sure they stay breathing, make sure they stay alive. If you just approach a situation with respect, people are not going to be all upset about it and freak out like you assume they will. You're not going to be attacked usually. So that whole fear thing, you see how it leads to insecurity enough with that shit.
Okay, one more with gloating and doing things. A lot of people are going to assume that you're gloating when you're not. If you know you aren't gloating, what's the problem? Why are you getting insecure? Like when you get dressed in the morning, oh, I'm not going to wear this. I'm not going to put on my jewelry. I don't want people to think that I'm gloating.
But is your intention when you're getting ready to gloat? No. So if you get ready and just wear what you want to wear, and people say, oh, you're gloating, you're an asshole. Why? Because my outfit's more expensive. I didn't say shit about it. When I walked in the room, I didn't say nothing about price. I didn't say nothing about your outfit. What the fuck's going on here? You know, people will shame you into living by their limitations. No, no, no, none of that. All right. Point number two was on this respect.
Your tolerance to dealing with it and allowing it will build. And it's a slow, silent killer. So with a friend you have a partner, anybody, if you feel like something that they're saying or doing is disrespectful, and they're just like gaslighting you or telling you, oh no, you should just be fine with it. It's fine. It's not a big deal. Why you acting like that?
Would you tolerate what is upsetting you when you first met them? If you can go back to the beginning of the friendship with a relationship with the shit that they're doing now have flown in the first week or the first month, that gives you clarity. What you're experiencing is disrespect. It is bad treatment. You've just become adjusted to it because it starts off with something little something sly of like,
For let's say for a girl I call you a bitch whatever you tell me you don't like that whatever okay okay okay then I keep saying it every time I get mad you fucking bitch it just you get desensitized to the word bitch and then the more we fight the more goes on you're no longer feeling that's thing when I call you a bitch because you've tolerated it and it now feels like normal
you've been desensitized. So it's just going to get worse and worse. Then it gets to, I fucking hate you. I don't love you. I don't want shit to do with you. If someone's breaking you and attacking you like that and that becomes normal and you no longer like have a reaction to it, oh, he just acts like that. Next step is they're putting their fucking hands on you. So you need to get very clear.
on what is actually disrespect and see what you've been numbed to. It's very covert. You're not going to realize you're doing it, but that's the one way you can kind of figure it out. Would this have flown in the first month I met them? What I'm tolerating now, would I have tolerated it then or would I have blocked their dumbass? I'm sorry for what that's about to do to a lot of relationships and a lot of friendships. Because once you see it, you can't unsee it. And then you're like, oh, I really do got to leave.
Yeah, you do. But same thing applies to parents. A lot of people don't understand how desensitized they are to the disrespect of their family. Look at if your partner was being treated by their family the way that your family is treating you. Or look at your friend. Look at somebody else you love and imagine them being talked to or treated the way that you are by your family and it will give you clarity around, okay, I'm not crazy. Everybody telling me I should just be okay with this, I actually shouldn't.
Have the ego, have the self-respect. Something else that helps me with boundaries a lot, and the whole thing with disrespect, like noticing when something is actually disrespectful, because a lot of people in public say a lot of shit that's condescending, and they think that they're getting away with it. The more you learn to value yourself, the more sensitive you will become.
to being treated in ways you do not treat yourself. So if you stop disrespecting yourself, disrespect from others will get a lot more painful and you won't be able to just sit down and tolerate it anymore. So you'll start picking up on a lot more condescending things people say.
weird situations they put you in, weird ways they treat you and expect you like you should be okay with it because you're too blind to being disrespected that you think it's just normal. So my example is these salespeople. Since I bought this house, I've had at least seven or eight different salespeople come to my house.
You come on my porch. You knock on my door. I answer the door. They size me up. And I'm not someone who's overly sensitive to shit. I don't really get that bothered, but I know when something is condescending. They size me up and they go, oh, can I speak with the owner of the house? And I'm always very nice and polite always with everybody. When I open the door, I'm like, hi.
They do that shit, size me up. I can't speak with the owner of the house. I'm like, that's me? And they look me up and down like they get like a little bit mad and they like, are you renting? The amount of willpower I've had to exude.
to not knock these people's heads off their body. You're going to come to my fucking house. See, this is the ego. You see how I'm talking? You're like, oh, that sounds like egotistical. It is. And it should fucking be there. This is when an ego needs to come into play because typically with salespeople, if they're sweet, if they're nice,
If they don't do the whole size of me up shit and try to be condescending, I feel a little bit obligated. All right. I'll hear you out. I'll talk with you a little bit. I'll politely decline it, have a conversation, make sure that I consider the person's feelings and not just be an asshole. But
In a situation like this, that takes a lot of energy for you to be considerate and you to try to be understanding and care about the way other people feel. If someone shows a blatant disregard to how you feel, you are off the hook. You don't gotta placate them. You don't gotta be considerate no more.
When these motherfuckers come to my door con descending and they're rude and they want to size me up on my porch, I'm not talking to you. I don't give a fuck what you sell in. Depending on my mood is how harsh I will be. Sometimes I'm just like, I'm not interested and I'll close the door. It saves everybody time. For me to respect myself and immediately spend no more energy and no more time dealing with them or considering them anyway, just saying I ain't fucking interested and closing the door. It's over. It's done.
There's no argument. There's no fight. There's also no, oh, I feel uncomfortable. Like some people will do. They would feel uncomfortable and just like try to appease them and still let them talk and like let them just be shady and condescending to them. Fuck no. You ain't got to sit there and deal with that. Don't have the ego. Have the self respect. Somebody's coming to your face acting a certain way. No, in the interaction. Cut it.
and go on with your date. You don't gotta get mad, you don't gotta get upset. All right, point number three is doing things out of spite. If you gotta do something out of spite, do it. So like people going through a breakup and you're like, oh, I'm gonna get a revenge body.
Do it. Use the spite to make an improvement to yourself or your life. To make a positive change, if you got to use spite to do it, go for it. People are like, oh, that's ego-driven. You're doing it out of your ego. Who gives a shit? The change is getting made. You know, my body's sitting after the breakup, you get the revenge body. Okay, cool. Like, if spite's what you got, if anger, hatred, resentment, if whatever it is, is what life has thrown you, use it. The whole thing of...
The whole thing of people trying, I've got cotton in this. I'm gonna make up on you. The whole thing of people trying to wait and kill their ego before they go make changes or do something, you're wasting time for what? If you're not trying to harm anybody, if you're just using spite to better yourself or achieve things, what the fuck are you waiting for? Just do it. The spite will go away.
It's gonna fuel you. You're given a chance of a boost, so don't waste it. Despite it's gonna fade once you achieve something and level up. The whole thing of people stopping themselves and like, oh, I have to sit down and I have to journal. I have to find a different, I have to find a different route than using this fight. Girl, it's energizing. Use the hatred. Use the anger. Use the fuck you. Yeah, I'm gonna do this because I don't fucking like you and I got something to prove.
Do it. You can't be pissed off and be depressed in the bed not doing nothing when you're angry and you're pissed off. You up doing things. You got energy. That's something that really like confuses me because people try and like discredit certain things that I've done or accomplished. Oh, you were just doing it out of spite. Okay, but I have it and you don't. I know you got a lot of anger and hatred and you got a lot of spite. You just didn't use yours. So trying to discredit what I've done with mine, it doesn't work. I've still got what I've got.
That's the point. All right, point number four with this is having preferences, having standards is not having an ego. That's respecting yourself and increasing the chances of the experiences you want to have. And by living in line with certain standards, you avoid experiences you don't want to have. And a lot of people, especially when it comes to relationships to like, oh, your standards are too high. If you can offer
Something you can demand it in return. What the fuck is the issue with that? I don't get that. People are like, oh, Leo, your standards are too high. For who?
You probably, but everything I ask for, I can deliver. And a lot of people act like, oh, you're just gonna be alone forever. You're never gonna nothing. I don't feel pain from being alone. But I also know dropping my standards and listening to everybody else and, oh, don't be so ego chipping. I don't care. Also, you got the safety of
Yeah, you're not going to be with someone who don't know how to appreciate the value that you possess and the value that you can offer. If you want to feel unappreciated, if you want to feel worthless, drop your standards. Go give yourself to a crack head. Like I always talk about in past episodes, it's like giving a burkin to a crack head.
They are not going to understand the value of that bag. A Birkin is like 20 grand. If you go give one to a crackhead, they don't know what that is. They're not going to know how to treat it. They're going to throw it around and trash it. And if you're that person who's given yourself to somebody who doesn't understand your value and doesn't know how to treat you, you will begin to question if you are just a crackhead's bag.
you're not gonna realize you're a Birkin, you need to be in a whole different fucking part of that city, you know? So that's a big thing with standards of me. If you like certain things and certain things are a deal breaker for you, that's fine. It's not offensive. And a big thing is people try to pretend like they're actually interested in other people just to not hurt their feelings. It's like if you go to a bar or you're just out in public or whatever, and somebody comes over and tries to start talking to you, and you're not attracted to them for whatever reason,
A lot of people will be like, oh, I don't want to hurt their feelings. Oh, let me just like, uh, yeah, and entertain the conversation, get their number. And like, oh, finally we can leave and then you never text them. That hurts worse. And it's disrespectful to both of you. The self-respecting action is to politely say you're not interested. You could even lie if you two chicken shit to set a boundary. Oh, I'm with somebody. I'm seeing somebody. I'm sorry.
respect their time and yours by allowing them to go find somebody else. If you know it's not going to go nowhere, people pleasing
is actually being a bad person. If you know that you're sitting there lying to somebody, you don't want to talk to them, but you're just going through with it because you feel bad to hurt their feelings, you're an asshole. Certain situations like get it for like a safety concern, like certain girls, you got to watch out because some people are nuts, but there's a difference. You get what I'm talking about. Having a preference, not being attracted to every single thing with legs is fine.
Voice it politely and be considerate. That's not having an ego, but a lot of people would say, oh, you're too ego. Tastika. No, I got preferences. All right, number five is rejection.
If somebody tells you they don't want you, do not allow yourself to be in the position where they could even have the chance to say it twice. If someone says they don't want you, it's over, it's done. And I'm staying with a relationship standpoint. Also, if I go to a bar or go to a restaurant or something and they don't want to let me in because I have on a tank top or I'm not dressed right, what do I look like standing there fighting with them?
If I don't fit the dress code, that's fine. You're allowed to have a preference. If someone sees that you want to give them your business and they say they don't want it, leave. It ain't a problem. It ain't a fight. It ain't a personal attack. You don't want to argue with them. What is arguing going to do? Nothing. You're going to stand there and fight to prove that they should want your business. They fucking don't walk off. Okay, bye. That's always my thing. Okay. I leave. You're never going to catch me in a situation or somewhere. Someone doesn't want me.
I'm out if they're running it. If it's my event, you get the fuck out. Only time I would say, yeah, we arguing is if I bought a section or if I like paid for something and it's like my event, shut the fuck up, let me in, you know? But if it's like normal things, if somebody says no, leave. It's not a fight. Okay, number six is about relationships. If you're pursuing someone for like a partnership or a relationship, main issues, poor communication,
Lack of effort, slow replies, like they take their time, revlying you and texting you back. If they make excuses a lot and they're flaky with plans or they don't initiate plans and they're just kind of like, eh, like back and forth and consistent with the effort don't really like make an effort. What's the self-respecting action to take there? How can you respect yourself in that situation?
You know what to do. And a lot of people get caught trying to like degrade other people when they feel rejected, especially in a relationship standpoint, they wanna like start attacking people and reminding them of their place of like, oh, I settled for you or you're not this, you're not that like attacking people and degrading them. Don't waste your time. Allow your absence to remind them of their fucking place. That's all it's gonna take.
When you withdraw yourself, remove yourself, remove access to you, your absence will remind them of their value. So don't fight them. Don't critique them. If someone is just kind of like stringing you along or they're giving you the bare minimum when you're giving them the world, that is disrespectful to yourself to keep doing. You need to have an ego in that situation. What the fuck do you look like?
Giving so much to somebody, they can't even give you the bare minimum. Can't even text you back. Can't even make a plan. Allow them to go find somebody who's going to treat them with the bare minimum that they are giving. Then they're going to realize, oh my God, I had it so good. And in that moment, you realize, yeah, I didn't have shit here. So if I go walk down the street and find a puppy on the side of the road, that'll be more fulfilling than this person. So you have no guilt and no question about walking off.
Having an ego in this situation is literally the best way to stop being mistreated by people. You know how you get when you meet somebody you're interested in. You are excited to text them and talk to them and make plans and see them. If you're not feeling that same thing back, they don't like you.
or they're not willing to take it as serious as you are. That's all you need to see. So when someone is not treating you like they are excited to see you have an ego. So you don't go down this whole road of, ah, trying to be understanding and trying to, oh, there must be some other explanation. There's been busy. How many times are they going to be busy? And how many times are you going to be understanding of that to continue?
allowing yourself to blindly disrespect yourself. How long is that going to go on? You know, all right, number seven comes to being judgmental. You should be judgmental. It's not looking for how you're better than somebody and how you look better or you make more or you whatever or try to discredit what they have. None of that.
When I say be judgmental, I openly shame people who do not live with integrity. If someone took the easy way out and sacrificed their integrity or did someone wrong or screwed somebody over, I don't like that. And I am very critical of that behavior because what's the opposite? Everybody wants to make everybody feel accepted.
For you to go be hearing someone talk about something and they're revealing their character to be like, okay, I'm gonna pretend like I'm okay with it. Take that knife, stick it in myself. How can I cater to their feelings and not make them feel judged? No, that should not be what you do.
they should feel judged. And the whole point of that is to keep them away from you. You should make them very fucking uncomfortable where they realize we're not going to be a fit. Because if someone's over here talking to you about how they stole this or did that, no, I want you to be very uncomfortable around me when you say that. So you don't get close to me and think you can do that to me. But I just want to kick that whole thing. Society is trying to push on everybody, make everybody feel so accepted for everything.
Now, that's the only main thing I really judge people for is the integrity piece. I do also take into consideration and hear people out when it's situational or someone was down bad. They had their kids. They had to take care of. They had to go steal food or whatever it is. I get it. I will go steal it with you. You know what I mean? But when there are situations where
Especially in business, people are just talking about how they did this or did that or stole this or they start talking about people's secrets and they talk about how they move and it's very snaky. I want you to feel very uncomfortable. I don't want you feeling safe around me for one second.
All right, number eight is about being difficult or too much. Look at it. Are you an issue? Are you making things hard? Or is what they're saying their concern is normal?
If that's not something you're willing to negotiate, and it's just the way that you are and the way that you operate and do things, like when people tried to push me into doing certain deals I didn't want to do, I'm not fucking doing it. And everybody was telling me, oh, you're so hard to work with. You're so this, you're so that because I wanted to have integrity. Okay, so I am too hard to work with then for you. You got to choose. Am I all right with being perceived as difficult by this person?
If so, stand on it. Do not waver, do not bend. But you also have to assess people's limitations. So you look at the concern and the thing that they're voicing to you, this is what makes things difficult. This is why this is hard. This is why you're asking for too much. Look at their concerns without being defensive without anything. Genuinely assess it and then also assess their limitations. Would somebody who could do more
still see me as being too much. You see, most of the times, 99 times out of 100, you're not asking for too much. You're asking the wrong person. So that's a really big thing with me. With having the ego, a lot of people here, oh, you're too much or too difficult and you like laser in thinking that this person or this opportunity is your only way to get somewhere. No.
If you're too much for it, it ain't for you. So don't get insecure like I did, like an idiot trying to be more digestible. Bitch choke. Are you asking for too much or are they wanting you to live by their limitations? That's a big thing to look at. Point number nine.
is around dealing with judgment and criticism from others. When I was 16 years old, I was always overweight as a kid. And I started P90X when I was like 14, finally lost some weight. And then I started weight training and was trying to put on size. When I was 16, I started to weigh my food. Like, you know how you meal prep and you weigh, okay, it is eight ounces of chicken, it's eight ounces of ground beef, eight ounces of rice, whatever. I needed to know what the hell I'm eating to make sure I'm eating enough and make sure I'm like hitting my goals.
Certain people in my life saw me for the first time with the scale weighing my food and had a lot of shit to say. A lot of people were like trying to make fun of me and ridicule me and say it was stupid, say it was weird. People do not have to understand what you're doing or why you're doing something to be respectful. How harsh you are is how harsh I'm going to be. So if I'm over here minding my business and you just want to take it upon yourself to come over and ridicule what I'm doing,
What the fuck is that accomplishment for you? What's the issue with me weighing my food? Really? What's the issue? Why is it so weird to you? I want to know what's going into my body for my goals. What's the problem here? That usually shut everybody up. But the real funny thing is the gag is everybody who was judging me for doing that six months later started weighing their fucking food also came to me. Oh, what scale were you using? A lot of people are going to judge what you do.
when they don't understand. But as soon as I started having results, everybody, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, now it makes sense. Now, oh, now everybody's polite. Now everybody's wanting to be respectful. No, you wanna be, oh, understanding toward people who are criticizing you and attacking you. Oh, they don't understand. They don't have to understand to treat you with decency. That should bother you and you should have an ego there to set the boundary. Have the ego, have a boundary, set it down. I decided I'm gonna cut number 10.
That one is not going to be good. So if you made it this far on the episode, comment any of the little weapon emojis. I like the little sword of the wrench because I want to like crack you at a wrench or golf club. Get creative. Whatever your weapon of choice is, comment that just the emojis. So I see who made it this far. Also, if you're watching this on YouTube, leave this video a thumbs up, like, subscribe, all that shit. Comment also what you want to hear me talk about. I love taking suggestions here in which you guys want. I like to deliver.
If you're listening to the audio version of this on Apple Podcast and Spotify, hit the download button for me. Thank you so much. Give me five star rating and all that too. Also, if you're watching this on YouTube and you still here, go download all my podcasts on the audio version. It helps me a ton.
I hope this episode got everybody prepared for 2025. My last three episodes, 1920 and now 21 have all been about things I've learned about 2024 and how I'm going into 2025. This is the biggest one with having ego, setting boundaries and respecting yourself. If you want more like details and more examples and stories and random shit, the past two episodes, check those out. As always, I will leave all my social media in the description. If you want to go look on TikTok or Instagram, I posted it on both my new robes. If you want to go see the other one, it's leopard.
And that folks is all we got for this week's episode. It's gonna be already into the new year by the next time I see you. So, have a new year. Love you so bad. Everybody be safe. I better not lose none of you on New Year's. It's a very dangerous fucking holiday. Uber. Do not drive. Stay home if you can. Be careful, God damn it. Thinking about something happening to you makes me so upset. Alright, everybody be safe. Take care of yourself. And I will talk to you guys next year on Sunday.
In this holiday season, surprise everyone on your list with the best gifts. Tickets to see their favorite artists live. Choose from thousands of concerts and comedy shows, including Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige, Matt Matthews, Metallica, Thomas Rhett, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Sarah Silverman, and so many more. Share a memory together, or give a gift they'll never forget. Find the most exciting gift for every fan at LiveNation.com slash gifts. That's LiveNation.com slash gifts.
