2017 was 15 years ago

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Wait, how do I move like we're on top of each other and you're on top which that doesn't really make I am a top I'm a top guess just in no world but that makes it makes so much sense that I'm on top because I am a top

My top king. Welcome to this episode of emergency in her comm. Familiar faces, familiar spaces, baby. We're back in our hometowns getting freaky with it. You know how that goes. I'm going to, I'm going to pull with the Beyonce when she was like, Oh, when she's getting her hair done. What is it? Like dirty beauty. Why did she do that? Sacred beauty? Yeah.

She's silly. She's freaking out. Well, so much to say, so much to say, so little freedom.

I love this. There is a lot going on in our personal lives that if you're dealing with some similar shit, you know the vibes. Just know you're not alone with the family to see the family drama.

who shall pass me saying that to myself for the past decade. I'm like this to show. But I mean, but it passes every single time. That's the case. The things I used to worry about. Like they're not there. They were a blip in the fucking timeline and it's never ever that deep. But like in the moment, I literally feel like everything is going to crumble and burn and I'm going to die and everybody I know and love is going to die. But

It passes and everything's OK. So just remind yourself that in this moment, you're going to be OK. I feel ball rug. Oh, it's my brother's rug. Also, this table is messy. Oh, I was going to say you look really good. You look cute today. I love your hair. I haven't watched my hair in five days. Ew. Well, I said.

or not. I said something I was thinking in the car because I had seen a video earlier today that this older woman didn't know what chat GBT is. Like this girl's mom didn't know what it was. And she said like by the end of it she was starting again. She was like, Oh, can I ask him this advice? And I was like, first of all, it is crazy because I do the same thing. Like I always think of chat GBT as a man and it is rooted in such misogyny and all this shit.

But if you really think about it, Chad GBT is a girl as fuck. Like, what do you mean you are constantly looking through my fucking phone? You are keeping tabs of everything I do, everything I say, everything I like. And then you know the answer to every question. Yeah. Like, I really bring it up as if you haven't gone through my fucking phone. Like, yeah.

You went through my phone, you're a girl, chat GBT is a girl. That video I sent you last night, India of like, I don't know if this is relatable to anybody else, but people who came from interesting family dynamics, I recall going through my parents' phones all the time, like, and I needed to know if we were a happy household, like I would go through every text message, every conversation between my mom and my dad, have been scarred a few times. I just needed to know, I wanted to know.

Like as a kid, my dad, huh? My parents are hot. Like you think they're attractive? Yeah. I guess I think my parents are attractive too. Like my parents are attractive people, but it's like,

how they made me. I'm joke. I'm just joking. Oh, no, no, no. I mean, like, because it's, I don't mean like I find my parents attractive the fuck, but I do think about it. I'm like, damn, people have to find my parents attractive. Like my parents are good looking people and they made me how they made someone this gorgeous. I'm not kidding. It makes no sense. But tell you to get that pussy over here.

Get that shit to Grandberry Texas. You can't say that to him because you know he likes those jokes with you too much. And like, you give my dad an inch, he'll take a fucking mile. Like the fact that- I give him an inch. And he can take this mile around the block.

You're cut. You literally, I'm not kidding. You can't, you know, you can't joke with my dad like that because then he just calls me and says random like shit that I'm like, Oh, that's not your friend. Don't say that. Remember when he called me and he was like, I'm at this guy who reminded me so much of Drew. The guy seemed nothing like Drew. The only thing about him that was like Drew was he was gay and had a purse. And I was like, yeah. That was his, that was his vibe. He was like, Oh, it reminded me so much of Drew. And it was a guy with a purse. Oh. Oh my God.

I have an aunt who was asking my dad and was like, you don't think that boy likes Enya? And he was like, what boy? And he was like, the boy she does all the videos with. You don't think they like each other? And then my dad was like,

I'm pretty sure like that, no. Like I don't think they like each other. And then my dad had to like tip toe around and she was like, is he gay? And then he was like, and I was like, yeah, as far as I know, like I don't really like, I don't ask, like I don't know. Cause my dad was just not about to be like, he's gay. Like it was just a funny back and forth. But my aunt was really convinced that you were low-key plotting on me. She was like, you know, I've been, I've been plotting for a decade. I'm like kidding. I'm in it for the long run. Like.

Nice guys finish last. Everyone in my family is so confused by our dynamic and they're like, are they in love? Yes, but are they in love love? Yes, but yes. Yes, but no, but yes in layers.

Oh my god, India. Okay, so you know, I've been complaining about my eczema for like the last few weeks. Like every time I go to a cold place, I get eczema on the insides of my arms and like it's every year around the winter time and it sticks until the spring comes around. I don't know what the fucking vibe is. I'm assuming it's just dry air or cold air, whatever the fuck.

I was so fed up with it the other night. I was like, the lotion isn't working. Like it puts its lotion on its skin. Like it puts its lotion on its skin. It was not working. So finally decided I bit the bullet and I was like, you know what? I will test this old wives tale and see what the vibe is. And I took an oatmeal bath for the first time ever in my life.

I swear to god it cured it overnight. I'm not joking. It literally cured my eczema on my arms overnight because I took an oatmeal bath and I squished that like oatmeal juice, which no one told me it literally looks like pre come, but I like inside of my arms and just like basically use it as lotion and it fucking worked. So that shit literally works. I don't know if it's anecdotal or not, but like I swear it worked for me.

I mean, I believe it because the only lotion I can use on my body that doesn't make my skin feel like it's being torn apart is oatmeal based lotions. But even that, I'm like, you'll have to be putting alcohol or something in this. Like there has to be something in this that's like not good for me because it still makes me, I wake up and I feel like

If somebody went like this to my like knees, it would just like my skin would. I was going to say I did wake up with like, like my back literally being like a block of sandpaper. Like there were these like bumps all over. I could like itch it off. Like I scratched all the bumps off, but like.

I wonder if it was just like, um, cause see, I don't fuck with oatmeal. Like if you are somebody who eats oatmeal, you are fucking nasty to me. I am so sorry. I don't give a fuck. I know it's like such a staple thing for everybody. The texture of oatmeal literally tastes like if somebody hawked a Lugie into my cereal. That is what oatmeal is. It does taste like a sneeze. It really tastes like a sneeze. That shit does not taste good. And also like it, why is it great? And I feel like,

no matter what y'all be doing the most like putting your fucking like organic almond butter and shit and it starts to look gray like starts to look like gray matter it starts to look like um infant diarrhea but overnight oats is a trend that i really thought i could get behind i really was like oh like

This is something I can do every day and eat, bitch. I had one bowl of it and it was the most vile rancid shit I've ever put into my mouth in my entire fucking life. And my mouth has led me to some very, very, very dark places. Let me tell you that much. And that is at the top of the evil, the evil.

tier with the pyramid tier. I just, I'm such a texture person for food. I've realized like it has to be specific. Your hair looks like gorgeous today. Did you do something different? I forgot all of my hair products except a moose, but my hair just is a vibe. And yeah, I need to go stay around outside because when I get that humidity in my hair, like I haven't been outside today, but when I get that humidity in my hair,

Every time we do a Zoom episode, I fall in love with you a little more. Thanks. It's also because like I can't help, but if there is a camera or a reflective surface, I will be looking at myself and just subtly like capture your angle. Like I'm literally like I'm trying to be so natural. I do the exact opposite in you where I see myself and I go.

So puggy I so pug Did you see that edit from? Trisha talking about us again, and I'm so sorry I feel like there's like this ongoing back and forth now and we seem too cool to go on the podcast But genuinely we are not only so busy which I she did acknowledge but also Cut

like literally my mind my mind I literally I at this way I can't tell if I have OCD or if I'm really bordering on schizophrenia I can't lie the past few days like my thought process before falling asleep

I think I wrote it down because I was saying what you were just saying because that sounded like cut the cameras to Trisha. Oh, no, I'm not saying cut the cameras to Trisha. I'm saying cut the cameras to my brain. That's also like, I feel like I haven't been on a good one. And I want to go on that podcast and literally be like, I know I feel like time because for like,

Being on her podcast is going to make me us feel how she probably felt before she was on SNL. Does that make sense? Like level of anxiety and like, I need to perform and I don't feel like I've been able to perform. So that's when I'm like, cut the camera. Also, wait, no, no, no. She also was like, Oh my God. Yeah, they're like gorgeous. They're beautiful. Like Enya's literally a model, like Enya is so high in a model and she's beautiful and drew.

Well, OK, true too. I mean, listen, let's count the campaigns, babes. Yeah, that's true. That's audible. OK, I'm literally not also. Wait, every time she says I'm like. Oh, I literally I go into a shoe and I serve the same exact face every I will say.

We have a really cool shoot coming out, like a couple cool shoots coming out where we're giving like, we're giving what the girls wanted. We're giving the fantasy, the fantasy. I know, there is specifically one shoot in specific that I'm like, okay, like now it feels like we're pushing it. Like now I can't even get mad at my aunt for being like, what's happening? Cause she's gonna see those pictures and be like, huh. Right. See, I told you, I told you.

about who did it better. Um, but my brother was like talking to me about us. And I was like, yeah, like, uh, I told them the big news, what we just found out the other day. And he was like,

Is she like, is she in love with you? Like, are you in love with her? Like, like, what's, what's the dynamic there? And I was like, I really don't have the time to explain it to you right now, babe. Like, it's the nuclear family. Why is everyone all up in my dick and balls? Like, stay out of my fucking business.

I know. I'm like, bro, y'all have like, that's how I know y'all aren't really about this found family shit. Like, you'd claim you're about it, but you're not really about it. Like, when I think of my future, I genuinely think of being with my friends and being old and getting high and like watching their friends play around in their front yard.

And then when I think of getting old, I think of doing a bunch of opiates and India taking care of my opiate addicted body when I'm like 70.

Oh, we're going to need a caretaker because I'm about to join you. You're joining me. I'm tapping in. I'm going to be like, you know what? That does look fun. Like let's go. Let's take a trip. After I'm old and decrepit and rotten, I feel like I can get it away with whatever I want. Yeah, 100% because I feel like for the most part, I was talking about this recently with somebody because I think, at least specifically me, I look back at my teenage years and I always think I should have done more bad things. Like I should have been

more of a reckless teenager. I wasn't nearly as reckless because I'm just such an anxious person and I've always been like, no, what if something happens? Well, you had reasons. Yeah, but I was like always scared and I had to be a responsible parent. So I like couldn't do that. And now I feel like I'm about to turn 26 and I'm starting to feel like that about my twenties. Like I think there's only

to solid decisions that I've made as a 20 year old where I'm like, that's kind, that's such a 20 something year old decision. Like a you're so crazy girl. I have maybe 20 minutes worth of speaking to do in my twenties that are like, I was crazy other than that. It's like,

And you know, you're thinking about it all wrong. Our 20s have been the most obscure, random, weird fucking like, absolutely bad shit crazy out of the norm, like 20s anybody could ever fucking have. And like, I think your 20s are like, I should be like having doing S every single night with a new person and I should be doing all of these drugs and I should be doing all of this shit. No, no, no, no, that's bad. That's gnarly.

I think there is room for some play. Some play on both ends. But like, I don't trust that shit in that. Like, I really, I really don't trust that shit now. Like, I am so scared of everything. No, I didn't mean that. I meant like.

Why haven't I had like four situationships on iPhone at one time? I am sorry. And I'm really not trying to center romantics, but I think I'm just spoiled at this point. And I have like all of my fun love from all my friends and family. But like, Oh, why do I wake up to a dry as fuck phone? I'm literally your fault. That is your fault. You don't text nobody back. Buddy bag. Yeah.

No, but like, come on, seriously. Like, once the last time I had to text somebody, I was like, Oh, let me make sure I texted the right person because I'm talking to like four people at the same time, like literally me yesterday. I think it's just my like innate nature as a woman to hunt and gather. And that's what I want to do with people who are obsessed with me. But I don't I don't want to be

a woman's need to like decorate the house is like epigenetic hunter and gather fucking shit. That's what I'm saying. Like it's the same thing with like people. I'm just like, well, my DNA tells me I'm supposed to start community and family and maybe yeah, part of that community is just people who want my whole who will never receive it. But like,

The fuck? Like, seriously, what is the point of living if nobody was like, like, no one's feening over my whole, like, no one is like, I'm right here. I'm right here. Been here for 10 years. I think so.

I like about to be the fucking mic. Who wants to vote? Who's registered? I love that means so much. So wait, I just need to show that. What are you going to say? She's so fucking funny. She's really advanced, but I do need to show the people that I'm not ugly. It's just the headphones.

You're so annoying. Like, you didn't look ugly with the headphones on. No, no, no. My face just looked like three inches too wide. I mean, I know what you mean. Every time I have headphones on, it gives me like head dysmorphia. Like, I feel like it morphs the shape of my head. Like, see, look, it's like, it's almost like an optical illusion.

Yeah. So I was finger in my ass the other day and I pulled it out and it was covered in bitch. What's up emergency in her comm even about I know. Well, I saw a girl on TikTok talking about how she went to a raccoon themed restaurant and she was getting her food stolen by raccoons. I'm like, first of all, let's call it for what it is. Call a spade is paid. That is a restaurant with a raccoon infestation and they are making lemonade out of fucking lemons.

Because there's no world where someone was just sitting around and was like, oh my God, you know what sounds lit? If we invited a bunch of fucking raccoons into our restaurant where we have to serve. Also, how is that legal?

It's probably not. It's probably in fucking Serbia or some shit. How easy is it to get rabies? And also how bad is rabies? Like is rabies even though I'm fucking serious? Rabies is horrible. Like you get it and you have like a 90% chance of dying and like your death is like you're fully lucid and awake the whole time and you know like you're dying and your body is just rejecting water. Like if they bring water into in front of your face, you start like hissing. You're like, get the fuck away from me. Get the water away from me. But you're like,

I always thought rabies was just like something they kind of exaggerated for like over the heads. No, no, it's it's really gnarly like it's I think it's like pretty difficult for people to get but if people get it like you're cooked you're basically done like there's no coming back from that. Let me see if I can order a strand.

Uh, I want to smoke that rabies, like low key. I want a strain called like rabies glue. That would be crazy. Yeah. But the raccoon restaurant is like a scam, just like Airbnb cats are a scam because you're basically paying in someone's paying to stay in someone's house to house sit their cat. Like,

No, literally, like I am paying to do your job. I'm paying to clean the litter box because if I don't, I have to suffocate from an like ammonia smell in here for the next four days. Also, I'm sorry, unless Airbnb reaches on decides to pay me. Like, if that's the case, y'all never fucking heard me say this. But fuck Airbnb. Airbnb is the biggest scam ever. Like it's, it's equivalent to kind of the Uber thing I was talking about how like a lot of Ubers recently just stink.

A lot of Airbnb's stink aesthetically, like they just look like they fucking stink and I'm so sorry. It's like when you're going apartment hunting and you think you found the best place of your life on Zillow and then you go to the place and it's like genuinely what the fuck am I looking in? And also how is it legal for people to live here?

And yeah, I will never forget that house that we thought we were going to move into and it was straight up demonic energy. I'm not kidding. I don't know if we ever talked about that on here. I don't think we did. We went into like a house that like it was perfect in the photos. It was huge. It was like literally straight up like compound vibes like

And it was cheap as fuck. And we were like, dude, what is the issue? Like, what is the issue? Like, what, what's the catch here? We pulled up. I'm not kidding. We walked through the threshold and I swear to God, it was haunted by ghosts and demons. Like we immediately. We need to talk about the fact that like.

a couple, like not that much older than us showed up to show the apartment with a child who is not that much younger than us like she was younger, but she was like 16. The couple looked like 30. So I'm like, okay, honestly, that's a vibe. Like I'm not judging team parents. That's fucking vibe. But the parents low key seemed drunk. They both had no Stanley cups. Drunk as fuck drinking out of that Stanley.

Yeah, they were like drinking on a Stanley cups and they were kind of just not talking to us and walking us through the place. They just opened it up. Also, the mom was wearing size for Jordan's. I have pictures of it. I won't air her out for her own privacy, but it is quite literally the silliest.

serious thing I've ever seen. It was so awesome. Also, the daughter like was running around the house and hiding around corners and genuinely jumping out at us. So the vibe was already odd and they were late. They were like 15 minutes late. So we had been standing around this house. Also, the neighbor spoke to us and was basically being like, yeah, like this neighborhood.

is very quiet. And I don't want college kids living next to me. And we were like, okay, we're not college. We're not college kids. And we're going to be loud as fuck on purpose now. Like literally I'm not kidding. When our next door neighbor, it was beginning of COVID pandemic. I was cleaning the house and I had a speaker in the house, not even playing that loud. When she came over and

like banging on our door and was like, shit, I fucking music off. I literally, oh my God, I literally crashed out. Like I've been in a professional crash out state for like the last month, but like that was like next level. Like I said, some really hateful things that I don't say to anybody. Like I've never even said it to another person since. Like it was really, really bad. But don't fucking play with me. Like, and you know what I did?

Even the people in our building, even the people in our building don't complain about noise. So like, how are you in a completely different building next door? It's not my fault this building was made in 1803 in the wood or the glass of the windows is actually like drinking cup glass. I'm not kidding. The windows in our apartment, I genuinely think if I like flicked it hard enough, it would just shatter.

Okay. I do want to say, um, where the fuck did the co cat girlies go, the crow cat girly, like I swear to God, I couldn't turn in my own house without seeing 36 co cat girls just like chilling there where they at, like where are they at? Like what did they morph into? Like what was the next step? Um,

like village people core. I don't fucking know, like, like, pilgrim. You old town core. Yeah, like the it's all but it's still bark. I love that picture. You mean the gun that's like sitting on the guy's lap and he's like, who the fuck are you going to kill Thomas Jefferson? Yeah, it's all but it's still bark. I think I said this. I can't remember if I said this on the last episode, but we need baptisms for non religious people.

Yeah, like I want something like that. But like, because I wouldn't say I'm not religious in the sense that I do believe there is a God. I have no specific dimensions. There's no vision in mind. I don't necessarily have a pin. I couldn't build you a pincer sport of what my idea of religion is. It's very, it's very abstract. And also what I mean by that is I only think about God when I'm actually terrified.

But I want, I just want to baptism like, but nothing crazy. I just want to be dunked in water by somebody. I really just want an autism. Like I want to be dunked in water. I want an autism. Like I really, really want my priest to put me underwater and splash the holy water on me. Like I really just want to be autism. I think you're mixing up baptism and autism. Those are like really different.

Yeah, I think I think I did. Going to the mall during Christmas time is the equivalent to

I can't even think. I don't think I've experienced anything. No, it's the equivalent to like doomsday beach, like that Harry Styles movie where he was like running around at war or whatever. The one Trisha you made? Yeah, like that. It's literally the Trisha Paytas music video like that. Like it's really it's it really you have to be like on the same mental capacity as a Marine if not higher to go to the mall within three days of Christmas.

And that's all I do every year. It's like without fail. Also, I guess by the time this comes out, oh my God, by the time this comes out, Christmas is not only done, but it's the last episode of 2024. This year has been scary. Well, the good news is I feel like everyone's in it together. I don't know a single person who's like, this has been the best year of my life. I've yet to meet somebody who has

positive connotations to the year 2024. I was going to say the last I was going to say like it's because it's an election cycle like no election cycle years are good but 2016 like not to be an old head like if you weren't and then like really like there was something about 2016 like it was really giving this vibe like literally being drunk and listening to the Drake future album like

Yeah, it was a vibe. It was a vibe. But you know what? I think I'm resting on the delusional optimism because this year, in terms of politics, it feels more intense and scary than 2016.

I don't know, I feel like there is, I feel like 2016 was so good because there was a togetherness, especially for our age range for the first time where it was like, we were thinking about like people's like moral ideas, like their ideas of the future. Yeah, literally just like thinking about people, like you get the people around you trying to really realize and dissect why the people around you are good for you and like, ooh, maybe shouldn't be around you.

And I feel like because also 2017 2017. That was too lit. So I'm genuinely my spiritual psychosis is telling me that 2025 is going to be awesome. And I'm really scared because I did go into 2024.

thinking it was going to be awesome. And then God, say 2024, regardless of that shit was iconic. Yeah, regardless of personal life, like work life was awesome. And I'm very grateful. And like also, I feel like community building was really good. But personal life, it did feel like I think somebody put a hex on me.

I put a hex on your bed. But the hex is low key fizzling out. But also the hex is fizzling out in the way that the hex is my OCD and it is my pro Zach. Yeah, the hex is low key in its flop era. Yeah, the hex is not working serving. Yeah, like, yes, every day I still have my three hours of pure fucking panic and disturb you.

Um, where I'm really convinced that everything is going to fall apart, but I was thinking about it on the car and I was like, brah, it really is just my OCD because my main issue is like with the way I love the way I act, the way I guide my life is I am so terrified of things going wrong that I want to control every aspect of every moving part. You just got to let go. And I need to back up and just be like, listen,

like no more of this to shop has I'm on a sale of the wave right now just like. Live in la vida loca. Live in la vida loca. Live in la vida locan.

Also, I need to tell this really funny story about my little siblings interacting because they're just at that age where they're like teenagers and they crack me the fuck up. But my little brother, Leo cooks like he's, he's 14 and he knows how to cook, which like him cook now. I know kind of embarrassed me because I'm like,

I can't cook. I'm not cooking you anything back. Um, it's actually so cute. He like got that from your dad. Like, I know, look, he, wait, I could show you a picture. He made me, he made the family steak and mashed potatoes, like mashed potatoes from scratch. Like he boiled mashed potatoes and did the whole thing. Um, and he asked me if I wanted to eat. And I, of course, said yes. And then he,

It was me, my dad and him eating because my mom and sister were out doing last minute shopping and he cut my steak up for me. And he didn't cut my dad's steak, but he was like, do you want me to cut my steak? The potatoes look like green. OK, Brad potatoes.

Not too much of my brother's potatoes, bro. I'm not too much. Not too much. No, they literally do. Because my parents, like I'm sorry, like I hate to air them out. But my parents are just at the age where they really fuck with those fluorescent ass lights in the house. And I'm like, bro, it is literally it feels like I'm at the fucking DMV when I go into the living room.

No, no, no, no, no. Your parents do like vibrant fluorescent white lights. Literally yesterday, I'm not kidding. I hadn't encountered with it. Wave up, but backing up to like, I just need to say this in your dad, like whips up in the fucking kitchen, like straight up like chef vibes. I just have to put that. Yeah, my dad. That's my man used to my dad used to be a chef and is still a really good chef. And I learned nothing.

Oh, but wait, before I forgot, he made me steak. I was excited. I know, I know, I know. Well, this guys, this is my last one. You will never see this ever again. Like, also the color change is really gross. Um, wait. Um, okay, Elphabra.

Um, my brother and sister were talking about it like two days before because my brother was talking about how he cooks. And I was like, wow, like you actually cook. That's kind of crazy. And I was asking what he cooks. And he was like, Oh, I really like cooking steak. And I was like, that's cool. Like I never cooked a steak in my life. And then not that he was like.

Bro, his state tasted like fucking rubber last time he made it. That shit was so bad. Like going in on him. And he was like, it's because you don't know how to fucking eat steak, bro. And then they got started going back and forth and she was like, and then he just breaks through her talking. And yes, she told me to cook it like chicken. What the fuck does that mean? And then I was like, actually, what does that mean? And she was like, I wanted him to cook it. And I wanted, if he didn't tell me that it was steak, I would think it's chicken. And I was like, I don't think you understand the texture.

of steak, it was never going to taste like chicken. And I was just like, what does that mean? Like, what does that mean? Like, what does that mean? Like, like, he was just freaking out because he was like, I couldn't like you want your steak done, like so cooked because she also was like, I don't eat steak that has red in it. Like, what if I fucking die? Which I agree with, but it was just it was I'm sorry. Yeah. Wait, let's let's let's fucking address that real quick. This whole like anti

cooked through steak agenda like I'm over it's tried like I'm sorry I don't want fucking nasty like blood and guts and like gross shit seeping out of my red meat that I already don't want to fucking eat I'm eating it because I have to I've never once been like well I want a steak right now like what no it's because it's put in front of me and it's someone else's cooking and I don't want to be mean

I'm sorry, I don't want it to be red in the middle. I'm sorry I want it to be cool. Also, when it's sitting next to potatoes and then like the blood leaks out and like it dies the potatoes and now you're just having like weird like pink potatoes.

There are some people who really fuck with a steak. There's something so crazy about cooking a steak at home. Like, first of all, now you're sofa smells like cheesecake factory. Yeah. Like, now you're sofa smells crazy. Like the air, a steak in the house being cooked. Like, I'm so happy my brother cooked that for me, but I will say he was heating one up for our mom later in the day. And like he was doing it the proper way and like got the pan background, everything. I was like,

how the smell of this. It leaves a layer of oil and grease all over the house and also on my face. And also we need to have a conversation about beef, tallow, moisturizer. I saw this guy that I literally think is one of the funniest people in the entire world, but I'm forgetting his name right now. But he made the funniest video ever about beef tallow just saying,

The one line that stuck with me, but it was like if we have to question whether a

product that goes on your skin. Smells like beef or not. Maybe we don't use it. And it was just like, it was like a huge realization for me where I'm like, yes, like at least like the men are taking care of their skin, but like at what cost like they're putting literal beef on their fucking face. Fucking barbarian all for what? So you don't have to be seen in a fucking ultra Sephora. Get out of my face. Also, where the fuck do you buy beef tallow? Where do you buy that?

Because I don't think I would trust that off of a delivery truck. A lot of y'all were fucking ordering that shit in the heat of the summer and it was sitting in the back of a truck literally boiling over.

Yeah, no, it was like, and it doesn't like melt. I have to find this guy's name because, oh, Jake, Jake Cornell, his beef top. Oh, he's so funny. I think I saw that video. He's really, really fucking advanced. Like, and he's been on like a banger run lately. Like he's reentering his like a generational run arc. Um, well, you win hyaluronic acid drop.

You tell a moisturizer. Sarah, they was there. Sarah, they has always been there. Like it's okay. That's just. It's just too much. Also the way in which we went from people being worried about kids doing like the hot water challenge and throwing boiling water on each other. You could get on to talk and you could say.

anything. People are so afraid of aging. Grow the fuck up as much literally grow up 26 like I don't I don't fear aging for like my looks and my vanity because I am sorry as insecure of a person as I am. I genuinely think I will get hotter as I age. I've accepted that like

Tough burden to carry, but yeah, I'll get sexier as I age. Like I'll carry that on my shoulders. A lot of y'all, I could get on TikTok right now and say that at the end of the day, I take my dirty socks, I soak them in hot water and I dip my hair in it so that it will grow. And I would put so much money on the fact that someone out there would do it and then placebo themselves into thinking it works.

I literally just saw something like that where girls are now putting their baby's ass ointment all over their face before bed and I actually Loki want to try it because it's apparently like zinc oxide or some shit but really like we don't need to be putting everything on our fucking faces but something I have been doing recently that like Loki is

It's not like a TikTok trend. It's something I discovered on my own, but I, after you use the restroom when you're on your period, I go into the toilet or, I mean, into the trash can next to the toilet, I take your tampon out. I ring out the like, I mean, you leave your tampons in for like 48 hours, 72 hours sometimes. Like you're always on the verge of sepsis. So it's like even better rotten. And I put that on my face before I go to sleep. And that's how I get this beautiful,

beautiful glossy skin, but it can only be with someone you love, because your periods are synced, or something, the signs haven't gotten down to the bottom of it yet.

No, I'm not kidding if you wait, like, I don't know. I just miss. I miss when people were doing crazy shit like that beef tallow. Honestly, the more I think about it, I'm glad we're having this discussion because it's really opening doors in my mind right now. But the more I think about it, I am like, oh, it's annoying the things that pick up. But I want.

I want blue whale challenge. I want hot water challenge. Yeah, I want the eating the tampon challenge. I cannot believe we really saw a girl just chew on her fucking tampon. Like I need the tide pod challenge. That's our divine. Wow. That is literally our divine because divine eight dog shit. She ate the tampon. Wow.

cultural movements and art or interview itself, like two fucking idiots. Beef tallow is a little on the cusp of eating dog poop is similar to using beef tallow. That's what I meant to say. There's a drone.

Oh, hell no. Beige babies. So let me talk about that for a second. So a beige baby is a baby that was raised inside of a beige dungeon, like those rooms that happened. It's literally just wood color. Like there's no color, there's cream, there's white, maybe some gray. And that's really as far as it goes. But the beige is a big part of it, like my sweater.

I really want to know the societal implications of raising a beige baby. I really think it's going to do damage to the fabric of our society because once they see colors for the first time, they might actually all develop epilepsy or some shit.

I also feel like those are the babies who are most addicted to like cocoa melon and shit too. Do you know what I mean? And the reason they're so addicted to it is because it's the only time in their life they get to see fucking color. And that's probably why all the babies are gay because they see the rainbow for the first time and they're so attracted to it. Yeah. The frogs are gay because of the estrogen in the water supply. Yeah. The babies are gay because of their beige rooms.

If somebody with a normal brain chemistry heard the past like 10 minutes of us talking, they would genuinely think...

It would be. Yeah, it would, it would literally be the same. Like it would be the same as giving a Jolly Rancher to a pilgrim. Like it would do the same damage to their brain. Wait, do the beige babies get to eat fun food? I feel like a lot of those beige babies also have moms who are like, I'm making my baby for loops. Yeah, they only eat beige. They only eat mashed potatoes and boiled chicken. Like that is so insane. Also, I don't know, like,

I think if I have a kid, like I'm really gonna let it do whatever the fuck it wants for the most part. Like what? Like... I'm not joking. I'm being dead fucking serious. Like, I know for a fact that my kid is going to be experimenting with drugs when they're 15, 16, 17, 18. Now I'm gonna act...

to their face very upset with them. But Loki, I'm going to be like, kind of cool. Like, you're one of the cool kids, aren't you? No, I really hope something gets done about Puff Bars because I can't advocate who has a Puff Bar. Huh? Did you just see that? Did you just almost fall?

No, I looked insane. I wonder if I look as crazy as I think. You probably think you look crazier than you do. Marvel movies are humiliation rituals for top actors in the world because those silly fucking suits, are you kidding me? And seeing them outside of the green screen in that stupid fucking little outfit they have on,

No, it's it's got to be a joke. It's got to be a humiliation like it's I want to know how those actors like talk about being in Marvel movies like do you think they're like yes, I'm in a Marvel movie or there or do they preface it to their friends like Yeah, I was just filming something like oh my god what in the kind of

I'm a part, I'm a part of the Marvel stuff now. And I thought it was going to be like stupid, but I kind of like it. I actually really love it. Everybody's really sweet. No, literally like we, one of our actor friends, we have several actor friends like was talking about being asked to do a Marvel movie and how they hook you is like, not only are you getting paid like $10 million for a single role as like,

which is just life changing generational wealth, but they also like are like, oh, and like you're going to be in eight movies over the next 12 years. So it's basically guaranteeing them like a hundred and fifty million dollars. So you really like actually. I guess Marvel is low key like the NFL of acting. It's like the biggest deal you can get is being a part of that shit.

Yeah, it's it like it is like they make it impossible to say no to and then if you say no once then like they don't hit you back up because they're like how the fuck could you say no to us? Marvel I can't even lie all the shit I'm talking right now if a marvel contract got put in my face I'd sign is so fucking quick I would sign it and then immediately like

A stizzy out of my back pocket and get so fucking high because I'm lit for life. Like it doesn't matter. I fully, I am on the same way of length. Like I will be doing a Marvel movie if it gets put in front of me. I want like a madam web though. Or is that DC? I don't know. I think it'd be kind of funny. Like I feel like we're serving more like we get picked up by DC is the best we're going to get. We're not getting Marvel.

And you're saying really scary things to me right now. I am too hot to hear the words DC and Marvel. Sorry, my Disney, my Disney brain is coming out. I've been having to do a lot of understanding what production companies own what because I was genuinely, I am obsessed with going to Disneyland. I love Disneyland. I am a Disney adult in my free time. And I was obsessed with the idea of Wicked, like becoming a thing in Disney. And then I realized it's universal.

uh... see that's that's what i'm saying universal wicked world i'm telling you it's the next big thing like they need to do like like the ride is uh... you're writing a broom at the end in the song that alphaba sings like the wicked which of the west or whatever the book what's the last song

Yeah. And that's playing in the background and it's like those rides where you're like, yeah, they should replace Harry Potter with wicked. I'm sorry. Like, keep Harry Potter and add a wicked world. Like it's that easy because we can go in through the gate and it's like you entering shiz and it's like a fake water. Oh my God. I'm telling you, I'm cooking. I'm literally cooking right now. I want to go to shit. There's a tulip field ride where you're running through the tulip fields and it's a roller coaster. I don't want to have to run though.

No, you're not running. It's a roller coaster. Okay. Cause any ride where I have to do like the haunted mansion, Loki. You're pushing it. I just have to walk through this fucking ugly ass house right now. Yeah. And you're trying to make it seem like I'm on a fun ride when really the ride doesn't start for 10 fucking minutes.

And I have to be squished next to the most people ever. It's obviously a safety hazard. God forbid, half this building started to catch on fucking fire. There's no escaping from the Haunted Mansion. We're all going to be the next ghost for the next fucking guest of this house.

Um, okay. The last thing I wanted to address and kind of talk about is the Inya Ozimpik rumors. So people think Inya is on Ozimpik, but I mean, look at her, y'all. She does not look like she's on Ozimpik, like not even close to being on Ozimpik. Like she looks nothing like Ozimpik at all. She is

not. There's no, like, I don't see a world where she could be on ozempic because it feels like you're like, it feels like you're kind of like doing a backhanded thing right now. Like you're kind of defending my honor. And I thought you were, I thought you were going to say like, we go to the gym often and it's really weird to say that. No, you do not look anything like you look nothing like being on ozempic looks like like at all.

That's crazy that you haven't been getting comments because I really don't like the way you've been looking. So I've been going into your room and like stabbing you with an ozemic pen in your stomach while you're sleeping. That's why I'm eating lately. I'm not doing that to someone. Like imagine finding out that somebody's been coming into your room and just being like with those epic while you're sleeping. Honestly, like, no, I would be mad because I've heard such scary after effects of like health issues that come with those epic. So I'd be like, bro, at what cost? Like that's the annoying thing is like,

Bruh, like y'all are talking about somebody who I just started smoking weed. I'm 25. Like, I am so terrified of big pharma. Y'all think I'm about to be the test dummy for ozempic. Like, get a grip. I'm gonna let all the bitches do it crazy boot style. And then I'm like, I'm sorry. And I also don't like, if you, everyone gets to do what they want, but I genuinely believe there's three things

that to me, I can partake in, but much later in my life. And that's like crazy drugs. Ozempic and plastic surgery. That's all shit for what I'm like in my mid 60s. And at this point, I'm bored. At this point, I'm just like fucking new face challenge, fucking new body challenge, fucking new vibe challenge, fucking new brain chemistry. Like by the time I'm 65, it's like challenges so funny because you're like addicted to crack.

Yeah, I mean, so what? If I'm like 67, who's calling for me? I don't plan on having kids. I'll just be the aunts of all of my other friends' kids' method on.

Methadynia. Yeah. Yeah. Methadynia is going to come over. She's really weird and she stares at the wall for five hours a day, but she's awesome. And I know her teeth are scary. We're getting her new one soon. No, I would obviously get veneers. I have it planned out. My retirement fund is going to literally go crazy for like

whatever I decide to do. You're literally going to go crazy. Like it sounds fun to be 65 and if I still have the health for it to get boobs and then just get them taken out. Like that's, I'm not kidding. That's something I've genuinely thought about. I'm like, it'd be funny to get a BBL for like a year and then the next year, just get it taken out. Just to see, I want to know what life feels like with a big butt.

Yeah, by then I'm sure it'll be easily dissolvable and shit. Also, by then, I'll know that I'm not performing for the male gaze. Like it's just it really is. I would perform for gay men. Huh? Why would you perform for gay men? Well, I mean, that's all we do here. Yeah. Hey, gay. Hi, male gaze. Um, okay, Drew Syop.

Um, if you eat a bitches pussy, no, and she sell it, you need to be on fear factor. That was from Gabby 2023. I was edging 2024. I was stroking 2025. I'm busting all over y'all. I mean, honestly, that is my vibe.

That was from Kyla. And then the last one is probably my favorite one ever. Gay men will make fun of horse girls and then put a harness on and do ketamine. Girl, you are the horse. I think that's from at Leo D. Gray on Twitter. Literally. The grandma's the baby.

The grandma is the baby. Like we can't say much about our personal lives, but just know the grandma is the baby. The grandma is literally the baby and also just know, um, I live in like actual fear right now. Like I'm genuine, like not for anybody else's safety, but for the safety of everyone else. Yes. Should we do media?

Yes. Yes. My media of the week is I saw Janet. Thank you. Oh, okay. My media is Austin Powers by Mason, M-A-X-O-N. But no, go ahead, sorry.

Mine is walking by patty whip ever knew Beverly Glen Copeland miracle man Bob carpenter when I find the time or when I find time Cody Chestnut. I watched Janet Planet and I am obsessed with that movie and I've seen it twice now and the soundtrack is so good. And I feel like now is a cool time to watch a movie like Janet Planet because we're all with our families. And I think that movie does a good job of. It's so real. Yeah, it's like.

Oh, some of y'all were not supposed to have kids. The grandmoms, the baby. Literally. My media is I watched Monsters University, the prequel to Monsters Inc. And I think that might be the greatest prequel sequel of all time.

You've literally talked about this three medias of the week. Your hyper fixation with Monsters Inc. is giving Disney adults. So you can't even... Actually, we should go to Disney together so you could get your Monsters Inc. ears. The way I was saying that, I'm not trying to be funny. I'm like, you should genuinely do that.

I want them. I love Monster's Ink. But into the void, Tim Hecker, Sleepy Time, Raymond Scott, reach for the dead boards of Canada and heal Pentagon. Did I watch anything else? I went to the Mavs game that was lit and I have a crush. Lucky.

I have like a real crush, like a nervous waiting for a text back crush, like a, oh my God, like did I say the wrong thing crush, like a, um, piss that they're not texting me back immediately crush or like, Oh, I'm making this all up in my head crush. I love that. Yeah. See 20, 25 is about to be lit as fuck. Okay. Well,

Sorry if this episode seemed a little off.

I'm sure like many of you this time of year, although very sweet and nice brings a lot of stress and reminders of things and just know that as long as you have your family or even just one person around you that you love or even if you don't have that and you have to do that online in your communities and do more outreach to find those people, that is what makes it worth it.

it will pass and you will find the people that you were meant to be with. And they will come and you will be so happy. You will be so happy even that you waited. So happy even. But yeah, and I guess, yeah, this is the last episode of the year. I really thought I was going to get on here and do my big one and give a sweet speech. But

right now my brain is dead episode. Maybe next time. Well, thank you guys so much for watching. We record that one before the end of the year. And then it goes up on the end. Yeah. So technically for us, you'll be seeing us in the past next episode. But all right. Well, all right. Peace and love and unity and respect. Peace to your families. Happy holidays. Happy New Year's.