Oh my god, you call them a pussy and then yeah, I was joking. I was never gonna smoke that I'll be able to count
I was already smoking it. You can't bully you into smoking it. You can't bully me when I'm already doing it. He's been doing it and he's not doing it. He bullied him. That's what's fun to do it. Say anything about it. Here's my only impression of saying, you won't. Yeah, you won't do that. Whatever's brought up, you won't. You have my favorite childish humor. It's so fun. And it works too. It's very fun to be a friend. You go, yeah. Do that, dude. It's very fun. You're not going to do that. He's dumb.
Give me that shit! I'll do it right now! Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch.
nobody knows yeah no idea yet the crop list is the building the part in on is what it's built on uh... interesting the greek's were gay greek's were gay okay the crop list of other ancient cult ancient citadel located on rocky outcrop would have been which ones the apocalypse which was a crop list which ones the part on i think that
Oh yeah, I don't know. I think the Acropolis is the building and the Parthenon is what it's built on. The Acropolis is, I think, the entire thing and the Parthenon to one of the buildings. Yeah. But what's the structure that it sits on? What's the Parthenon? Yeah, Google that. I'm pretty sure the part. One of them... That's that one. Okay. That's under construction. So the Parthenon is the building and the Acropolis. The building back up, there was a fetish. There's scaffolding everywhere. The roof fell off.
How about that stamos? The centerpiece. The fixer upper, for sure. So, okay. The parthon is a former temple of the Athenian and the Cropolis Greece that was dedicated to the goddess Athena during the 5th century B.C. All those people were tripping balls, you know. Goddess of beauty. Yeah, there's a great book on it. The immortality key by this guy, Brian Murrowrescu. It actually opened up a field of study at Harvard.
This guy wrote a book about how they did, they always suspected that their wine was laced with something, but then they got definitive proof because they found old vessels and they tested these vessels and they found ergot in them, which is a fungus that has LSD-like effects. Wow. So they made up that they were gods? Dude, that must have fucked them up.
That's where they came up with everything. That's where they came up with democracy. They came up with so much from trippin balls. They had to make sense. Like he hit this rock and it became a spring and then balls to fight him. He hit a rock and became a tree. All those old people were trippin balls. And what they were doing was hiding it from the Romans and they had to move away. Like they started going into other countries when they got kicked out of Greece. They moved the illucine and mysteries all over the world. The world. Mysteries. Illusis, illucity, and mysteries. All the zoo stuff.
All the fucking, all the, the, the, the trip ball stuff where they were people like scholars from all over the world would go there and participate in these, uh, these rituals and they would just trip their fucking brains out and figure things out. How about those grape leaves? I don't think that had anything to do with it. Ah, those just leaves. Yeah. They're not great. They're not great. Overrated. Overrated. You get a dip into ziki to make them edible. They're pretty bland.
yet at the same food is uh... middle-eastern soup yet he has come up to mama's yeah fucking delicious or david telco is a terrorist peanut butter is joke
Yeah. Yeah. Did you have fun? Oh, did you have a good time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Athens is a cool city. Did you get away from the tourist hike? I did get to walk and hike. Yeah, it's a big national park in the middle. It's like Central Park. You walk through it at night. Yeah, parks are parked though. Looking for rapists. What? Like to hike? What? Did you protect those parks in Athens? People have asked me about the parks.
Yeah, everyone you try to protect goes away. Someone somewhere like if you protect any parks lately and I was like, no, I've only failed in protecting any parks. We only tried one. Yeah, under failure. But sometimes it's your first time trying to protect the park. True. Why do you like parks? He's one of those. He's a city dork. He's the only nature he gets. A stink. He's the only nature of my nephew to a park. I just looked like a fucking pedophile the whole time.
You was like with a little tiny park with a swing set. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, park. I was just yelling at him. You're not allowed to go without a kid. Yeah, a lot of your places. Right. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah. Go into a park and just watching kids. Boy, I love watching kids interact. Yeah. You can't. So when it's in, you have to go with your own kid. Dog parks, you can't go in without a dog. Is that right? You probably can. No. They won't stop you, but the rule is you can't go in without a dog. Oh, really? Is it the rule? Yeah. Is it written? Yeah.
So it's written, so it's told. It is written, it's only as I know it. My nieces, my nieces and nephews are black and my dad took them to the park by himself. My nieces was on the swings and she was like, slap me, Papi, slap it. He was down there like pushing her ass.
Pretty funny right people are looking at it like what the fuck is going on here? Slap me pappy. Yeah, she's like slap it pappy. He's like Jesus Christ I can see how there's a playground outside my apartment and Mom was on her phone the whole time pushing this kid on a swing. It killed me It's so easily steal a kid. I'm so distracted now's the time. Yeah
My friend almost got his kid stolen from a park. What? Yeah. Yeah. He noticed at the last minute that someone was calling his kid towards a truck. Brian Laundry. And he stopped. He ran out and stopped it. But I think he was just not paying attention for a brief period. Oh. And somebody tried to steal his kid.
I got to hit on my pedophile as a user. The thing is, it does happen. It does happen. It sounds so insane. No, it actually does happen. People steal children. Because that kid will forget. It's going to be crazy enough to work. Exactly. Like that kid will forget. Jesus Christ, what a horrible thought. Remember milk carton kids? Yeah. That was a big thing. Big thing. I think a lot of them are stolen by the parent. That's almost all the stats of abducted kids are just the dead. It's like people use their kids as like leverage to get back at the spouse.
You know like the husband and the wife get divorced and the wife won't let the husband see the kid. He yells at her, I want my fucking kids. You won't let that whore in the house with her. Oh boy. That would be nice getting so like hammered and just going to your fucking ex-wife's house. I just want to see my fucking son you bitch.
He's a horrible video of a guy getting shot doing that. Oh, really? He goes to the house where his kid lives, and there's a guy there, and the guy and the wife are there, and he's yelling, and the guys get off my fucking property, and the guy's a big guy, and he gets in his face, and the guy goes and gets an AR, and they struggle with the AR. No! They struggle with the gun briefly, and then the guy lights him up.
That's a good dad. He lights him up in front of the guy's mom. Oh! He's also there. Wait, who's shot who? The biological father got shot by the stepdad? Yes, the stepdad. He got locked. Who's a smaller guy? The biological dad's a big guy. Why would you get close enough with an AR for some other guy to grab it? I think he was just trying to threaten him. If he pulled out a gun, the guy would be like, that's it. Okay, you got a gun. I'm going to leave now, but this guy was an idiot.
I've seen quite a few of those people just, people get nutty and they don't understand risk and they don't understand danger, even just with fights when they get in people's face. Yeah, man, fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah, do something, man. You literally don't know how to fight and you're about to engage in one of the most dangerous things that people can do other than using weapons.
Yeah, it happens all the time, but I saw a video the other day of this guy, they're in front of like a truck, and this guy's yelling, this guy, come on, Pussy fight like a man. He takes a shirt off, then I just shoots him. What? I didn't see that one. That's a holy shit. You guys got a gun out, guys got a gun out, and he's like, stop, and the guy's like, come on Pussy, he takes a shirt off while the guy has a gun out.
He's the machine. And he comes towards him and he just pommed. The guy goes down and screams him. The guy died. That's right. Yeah. What happened? Yeah. The Jones was just like enough. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Would he have a whip or something? No, he had to like a sword. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that was like a supposedly like, wasn't supposed to happen. It was like, yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh. It was high all the time Harrison Ford. It's high all the time.
No. Rips him. I don't know about then, but now he's just high all day. He's really depressed. I think when you get older, that's the move. He's got nuts. You can't control this one. He knows what he does. He's so out of control and so not what you grew up with. You're like, what? What's the kids these days? What is happening? You're changing genders. Just get high. Just get high and just go through life spaced out. Indiana Stone.
Oh, there we go. His alternative pastime. His wife is hideous. Hey, how dare you? That's not his wife. That's Chewbacca, you son of a bitch. Jesus Christ. He's got that gay earring, too, still. So he's a lifelong stoner? Is that what it says? Give us a scrape, take that kid, steal that kid.
Scrapes guys great. They shot a video. They just like distracted someone and grabbed their kid and they go, no, no, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Get the kid back. It was great. It was so funny. It was funny. What? What was funny? They stole the kid and the parents are freaking out and they're like, are you always wanted to be stolen? Yeah, I did. I went to like a Christian family called Jewish. Give her a mask you're talking about his cult life. Yeah, Jehovah. Yeah, explains a lot.
It's so well it explains a lot how he won't tolerate any bullshit, right? He's paid religious. He'll call me sometimes, but what about the table? What about like all right? Let's go. He knows I know enough. He will ran you sent a text to massacre be prepared for 17 straight. Oh, yeah, he
But any time there's some fucking fuckery, some shenanigans with words, some weird thing they're trying to pull on you, Metzger gets furious. Because he grew up in a cult. So he's like, I know what the fuck this is. I know you know, I can't notice this, I can't pay attention to this. If I talk about this, I'm a bad guy.
That's his joke. He goes, uh, they told you you can't masturbate. Do you know what happened to you if you don't masturbate? No, no one does because everyone masturbates, including the people who told us you can't masturbate. I just watched a cult documentary that, uh, Korean guy. You see that one? No. Jamie, you see that one?
It's like in the name of the Holy Father something. Pull it up. It's pretty cool. The Korean dude just started cold, but one of his things is he made everybody south. Watch him. He would play soccer in the cult and he would score like 70 goals. I said he was God. You would fight fucked everybody. Oh God. Of course you fucked everybody. It always goes to fucking always fall for it. Everybody.
Dude, my favorite cult movie is the movie about the building I bought. Holy hell, it's a fucking amazing cult documentary. It's so crazy. Do you know the story? No. The building that I bought originally for the mothership was a place called the One World Theater, and that One World Theater was built by a cult so that their leader could dance in front of them.
Literally. They put on these performances. They documented it all. This guy filmed everything. Wow. And this crazy dude who was a gay porn star. He looks so gay. He's so gay. Oh, it's huge. That's his older self. He's getting old. He's already getting old then. If you see the videos of him when he was young, he was a beautiful man. He was this really gorgeous, ripped yoga instructor. And he started this in West Hollywood called the Buddha field.
And then they moved it out to Austin. But they're all praying to get me. Let me see the penises. Whoa. They want to let that lady get close. Like you'd be lower. Like a fucking Bud Light commercial. He had all these boys with him and he fucked all of them. He's not gay? Oh, he's gay. He was a gay porn star, but he had girls in there too.
I think girls is how we got straight guys to come to the cult smart because he fucked all the straight guys ladies night recommence them Who's a hypnotist so he gave them therapy and then he'd fucked them and he charged them for the therapy whoa Charged her 50 bucks, and he owned the mothership. No, he owned the one world theater It wasn't it was like the people that were I was buying it from were people that used to be in the cult now they owned it
But that was the original location for it. Yeah. That's wild. I love it. I was watching that Korean guy, and I was like, this guy fuck you. He had 900 women as cheerleaders. The stadium would be packed and score 80 goals. That's funny. We got to arrest this son of a bitch. I was like, this guy's dominating. He rules. Do they kill him? Do you see the guy? Hold on. They capture him in the end. He's in a tent with two girls, and they like live camera. They're like, what are you doing back here? He's got a boner, and he's like,
Stay out. Get out of here. That's how they got them. Got them with a boner. Boy, it goes from 90 goals scoring to being a tent with two girls. The last cracklers. The last ones. Yeah, it was tough.
Still, still have a fucking three-way in a tent. Yeah, sweaty. That's pretty also a game. Yeah, which he dominated. That's an MVP performance. Dude, you got to see his soccer. They would line up like 15 people in the goal. He'd be like, I can still score on them. They would all like get out of the way. Isn't it wild that everybody knows about cults, but yet people can still form cults to people to join? I want to go in for a week and just see if they'd get me.
knowing to any coaches knowing I'm like I know what this is but like let me like you see if they get me. Cut to you getting fucked in the ass. Like two days later and it happened quick man they make some good points. You were like a serious Orthodox Jew if you got out of that. That's a good one. Which is like a respected call. It's a respected one.
I got up I was in for a while. Mmm. I might get out of this too. Indianapolis Colts. They hit you low protein low protein diet Well, you know this that's the question of like when does it become a cult is Christianity a cult is Catholicism Oh, they're all cults
Yeah, if you want to look at it, what makes a cult? What makes a cult? First religion. You're not watching some Korean guy fuck everybody in Scorsetty cults. Those are the religions that fuck a lot of boys. But that's why they didn't last. But the religions, they went too hard. Tell that to the Catholics. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's a good cult. They figured it out. Good marketing. They figured out how to make the Vatican a country.
Yeah, and it's wild as shit ever. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah. Yeah, it's like Disney. Yeah, you've got a hundred acre country in the middle of your city. It's very nice. Yeah, there's been a cult in religions, there's been a town in the city.
Well, the cult is the people that can't keep it together and the guy fucks everyone's wife. The religions, they just like the little... Well, how many preachers are banging people's wives? Oh, so many. Get about it. We had a guy in a community that the girls had to do a ritual bath, get clean. He fucking peeped the hole in the videotape. There's a ritual bath. Yeah, there's a ritual bath. Get clean? Oh, my god. Of course you did. That was the one I was skipping over. Those New York Jews got to take a couple more ritual baths.
They don't watch that close. We the Joel Osteen's fucking moms.
Mmm. Ooh, good question. I bet he is. Because you know he could. So knowing he could and knowing what you know about men. But he might be gay. But the amount of women that must throw themselves at him, because he's a superstar and he's a man of God. Is there any hotter sex than religious sex? Oh, just like fathering, healthy, hot believer. Ooh. But if you can't get her off, that's pretty, it's a little letdown. No, it's not a lie. You're a sin. You're a sin. You're a sin. That's why you didn't get off. Oh, smart. God will let you. You put some on you. Yeah.
What have you done wrong this week? That doesn't let me eat pussy. I'm gonna strict diet this week. Can you stink? There's something about a crazy hot believer. Like you both believe in the same nonsense. She's crazy hot and she's like, Jesus wants me to suck your cock so hot. I agree with Jesus. Jesus told you that and I can't argue with Jesus. You talk to God? God's give me an exception.
Magic God God just tests you with an exception. Wow gonna put it in God's hole. That's what he's doing Catholic school the old anal But God's hole. Yeah, doesn't count. Yeah That is so wild that someone found that fucking work around the wilders was the Mormons. It was just guys trying to fuck
Catholic she's trying to get fucked and the like this is gotta be something we work out here. The Mormons are the docking, you know, by the docking. That's the best one. Sticking in, soaking, then leaving it. Docking is way better. Docking is foreskin, you lock foreskin. Oh my goodness, you choose who's the top foreskin. Because that's a good question. You should rock paper scissors for that. Yeah.
I'd rather be the small spoon. You'd rather be inside. Yeah, it would feel better. It's more dominant to have your skin around it. It is more dominant strictly the field, but it's also so ridiculous. Like I had to do that. You fucking really just stand stare at each other. What are you doing?
No, no, no, I'm fucking your dick. You're not rapping your dick. No, I'm sucking in your dick. No, no, no, I'm fucking your dick. Oh, I don't know. I think I'm sucking in your dick. You might be sucking my dick, but I'm fucking your dick. I'm definitely sucking your dick. Well, it's like when I fuck your mouth, you might be sucking my dick, but I'm fucking your mouth. Get that clip.
The worst part about dying, there's gonna be face-to-face. You're like an enjoy for me. You're the best part. Dan Henderson, you know, Dan Henderson, fucking one of the elite MMA fighters of all time. Who's at my show in New York City once? He likes talking. This hacker was talking, and I said to the hacker, hey, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm gonna have Dan Henderson hold you down and fuck your girl right in front of you. And Dan Henderson goes, why would I hold him down when I could just stare him down?
I remember that. You remember that? It was nuts. There was like a chill in the room. Like, oh, you could. It was so real. Wow. If the guy that took one step forward, hey, stop fucking my wife. Fuck her. Dan Henderson's a fucking animal. Just the fact that he could come up with that on the fly. Yeah. He thinks like that. He said that before. Why would I hold him down when I could just stare him down? That's terrifying. The wife is like, all right, let's do this.
It was a joke, bro. It was the heck with that bed. Oh, yeah, it was out of control. The guy was out of control. His wife was out of control. They were both out of carolines, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, carolines. You get some rough hecklers. Take a brawl broke out that night, or maybe the next day. They were throwing chairs. Yeah, I think it was the next day. Yeah, throwing chairs. Yeah, like a whole ball. How many shows have we done together? All butts. Thousands. Yeah, thousands. We've done so many shows together all over the fucking country, all over the world.
That was those shows were right after a baby bird. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. Stern's playing got it taken down off YouTube. What? Yeah. Stern? Yeah. And then I remember like one of those. Wait a minute. One of the nuts, Stern, but like their group was like, take that shit down because they didn't want them succeeding. And then they were like, this happens all the time. We'll just have to file the thing that we'll get put back up.
So they were saying that it was offensive? That's how they get it taken out? Maybe they were the ones, they were like, no, we're the edgy. We should say that it was, we know that's true. We need to find out that, because that's like such a fucking egregious evil thing to do. If you're in that business, like say something's offensive. Or like saying, Don, I miss much too far? Yeah. He got fucked. He was like, I'm the offensive one, no one else. Well, when he silenced Opie and Anthony wouldn't let them talk shit about him. Well, he was talking shit about that. Wild.
Yeah, it's like I use any tool against my enemies like I just stand for anything though. Yeah, you fucking radio guy Yeah, I was alone. I think that guy was alone on the front line for so long Imagine if you're it's World War two and it's just you against the Japanese and you're on this fucking I'm just killing just killing people every day for like
a decade and a half. And then new people come up and they're like, I want you to have my back. I fuck you. This is my fight. This is my fight. True. I heard people had to avert their eyes when he came in. I don't think that's probably true. Not true. But Don, see, I think that's, I think that is people that work for him, tell him, don't look at him, don't talk to him. And so he probably doesn't even know that they're doing that. I know that happens with some stars. I know that happens. Yeah.
Damn. Yeah. J-Lo. We did a commercial man run as easy as the commercial Taiga was. Like, don't curse around him. He was before the scandals. Like, don't curse around him. Don't do anything. I was like, OK. And he comes in. He goes, you guys ready to do this shit? And we're like, wait.
What did you just tell us not to be dirty? It was just handlers. They're just handlers, just weird people. There's weird people that get a kick out of having power over the star. They have power to access. You can't have access to the star. You can't get close to them. We're people at clubs do that. It's weird. That happened to me. I did a club in Erie, Pennsylvania. And the guy was, you better be clean. You better be squeaky clean, TV clean. I was like, oh shit. I was three years in.
And then the host goes up, who told me that? And he's like, so I was fucking my wife in the ass. I jizzed in her daughter's hair. And I'm like, what the hell? Then I went over and was like, so cereal's weird. And I'm like, whoa. Get the host back up. Cereal's weird.
Those are the worst gigs when you had to work clean. They're like 20 minutes to work clean. So you're like, oh, this is a clean bet. And then halfway and you're like, oh, it does go to the end. Damn. I never had to do one clean show. Almost. I don't think ever.
It's tough. Like I said, no every single time. They just don't exist anymore. They don't. I never had to do like late night or anything honestly. When I was coming up, it was like, do you want money or not? Do you want food or not? It's like if you want to get that hundred bucks, you got to go do that clean show. Oh, yeah. That's a good exercise. To think about the language for the first time in your life or in a decade of like, is this dirty?
But it wasn't a decade for me, but it was, you know, early days of stand up, like I was 20. And the thing is back then, they really wanted stand up to be clean. Like everybody wanted you to work clean because that's how you got on the Tonight Show. Yeah, right. You know, once Steven Reich got on the Tonight Show out of Boston, it kind of like changed how everybody thought about comedy. Everybody was like, you're going to get on the Tonight Show now. Like you got to, you got to work clean. If you want to make it, you got to work clean. I remember there's a bunch of guys who were just in town were telling me, if you want to work, you got to work clean. Like you're just here.
Yeah, we were talking about it last night. There's still that still exists. There's still people that like I got to get my stuff together for a late night spot. Oh, it's like dude. What late nights over? It's good fun thing. Just make your friend do it. No, don't get me wrong It would be cool to do but I'm saying there's guys that are like here's my way out. Right. Right. Right. You can't watch anybody anymore. Isn't that crazy? Like it's worthless.
Like if you have a sat on tonight show, how many more tickets do you do? Six. Yeah, nothing. Yeah, it was cool. Seinfeld's everyone like six, seven years ago. It was cool to see him put together a late night set. Norms. Norms at the end of Letterman. Unreal. That was great. One of the best. Yeah. What do you think you are? Mars? Norm was a master. He was a master. He was so pure. I teared up at the end of that. That gets me. That gets me every time. Brutal. Yeah. Whatever happened to that guy? Oh, fuck. I forgot he vanished.
Bummer gangster way to go. I don't even know he was thanks to way to go out. Not one anybody played me drawn out of me get I know the book he wrote is just trash is out of me. It's great. That's it 200 pages. He calls him a holocaust and I
That's what Adam's like known for. People see him and are like, are you blown guys under the bridge? That's a fucked up aspect of people. You will have some white people who hate white people. You will have some Jews who hate Jews. You'll have some Jews who want to join the Nazi party. You will have some black people who hate black people. You will have people that will go against their people to be in with the other. You'll have Jews that will join the Nazis. Are you excusing against behavior? No.
We could do. It's a strange thing. It's like to be a traitor like that. There's a compelling desire to join the enemy. It's very weird. What if you hate yourself? I think that has a whole lot to do it. That's probably a lot of it. But there's always been people that have joined the enemy during times of war. Really? Benedict Arnold. Yeah.
Although I heard Ben and McDonald got set up. Really? Yeah. I heard Ben and McDonald like it was really like another guy. It was like the chain knows about this. I don't know if that's true. What happened with Ben and McDonald? I just know. He's a traitor. He rushed out of West Point while George was there. I'm sure there's something there. But it may be his family that wrote that, you know? It was like him and his wife escaped one time. He got to the... He was a hero. Yeah.
He was a hero. He was the captain of Ford at West Point. And, uh, yeah, slipped out. It said that was the only time they saw George Washington crying. Whoa. Yeah. Maybe it was because he was with his wife. Yeah. Wouldn't she was? Yeah. I got to get out of here, baby.
Snuck out in the middle of the night. Yeah. Like a bitch, dude. And then where you go? Just straight to the Brits? There was ships out in the harbor that he just went out and joined the British. He said, here's how you take the fort or whatever. Whoa, we told him everything. He had to get in. That's the way I got in. Take care of you all. Was his wife British? I'm not sure.
Probably dirty bitch. I bet you're disgusting bitch hot Russian broads come over here and trick CIA guys trick our fucking beautiful president You're a fucking guy in the government you meet a hot Russian lady like god damn it
I'm fucked. It's like meeting a shark when you're in the ocean. Right. It's over. It's not over. I just look good. Oh, she's just a ballerina. Nothing weird about this. Just plays violin. She likes strange. She likes me and I'm disgusting. Who's the politician that was fucking the Chinese spy?
Oh, yeah. It's the worst thing. It's so funny. Yeah. Hey, you know that chicken fucking? Oh, please don't tell me my wife found out. I was like, no, way worse. Worse. She's a Chinese spy. And you opened up. Yeah. Just think about being like, oh.
Imagine that job. But my wife does not know, though. Suspected Chinese spy reportedly slept with courted U.S. officials to gain intel. Wow. How many officials? More than one? She's banging a bunch of guys. So she's really just a glorified prostitute.
Thanks. Thank you. You're like a helpful prostitute. Who's her name? Her name's Fang Fang. No way. There's nothing funny about that. Her name is Fang. Oh, it is Fang Fang, AKA Christina Fang. Enter the US through California as a college student in 2011. Spent the next four years wooing everyone from local political to US congressmen. The prostitute. Wow. Who traveled? Among the polls, Fang got close to his California Democrat, Eric Stahl, Swallwell.
And she once also once helped raise funds for Tulsi Gabbard. Uh-oh. She was helpful along the way. She was helpful. I don't think so. She probably was doing hopes. I think you're going to have to be awesome. I think you're going to have to be awesome. I think you're going to have to be awesome. I think you're going to have to be awesome. I think you're going to have to be awesome. I think you're going to have to be awesome. I think you're going to have to be awesome. I think you're going to have to be awesome.
Fucking fang fang. She's like, oh, he's paying for the same thing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
What a stupid fucking spy to just fuck a mayor in Ohio. We got a lot of information out of this guy. He's the mayor of fucking Cleveland. The mayor of Cleveland knows that the FBI is going to be in town because of this name. She's setting back Morse code like the Rock Roll Hall of Fame is expanding. Also, he's changing the name to the Guardians. The cure is winning. But also, she's a human being. And even though she's working as a spy, maybe she just wanted to fuck the mayor in a car.
You weren't being, she's Asian. I'm related, you're saying. She was like, hey, I'm trying a bigger thing, but this guy's cool. Yeah, she wants to talk. It can't be all of her sex can't be for Intel. I don't know. That's Hot Intel Puss. Another US mayor described as older and from obscure city in Midwest called Fang, his girlfriend at a conference in Washington DC in 2014. Oh damn. Fang Bang.
Suck in the mayor of Sioux City. The Bessoted mayor insisted the pair's relationship was the real deal. Despite their age differences. Oh, she's fucking old guys. This doesn't work for me. A guy can't be a spy that fucks all the... She allegedly worked working at the direction of Chinese ultra-secret Ministry of State Security Spy Agency. Oxymoron.
hmm interesting thank thank god damn it it was you know jail i wish you she got traded for britney grinder
Nah. The merchant of head. How crazy is that that they traded a mass murderer who's responsible for thousands of deaths for a basketball player? The crazy thing is they told the Americans who love Brittany Grindley, like, hey guys, you got to keep quiet about this. That's the only way to get her out. Can't make it a big deal. And those people are like, no, all we do is make big deals out of things. Yeah. We're fans of the WNBA. Yeah. They didn't make a big deal out of hell. They didn't make a big deal about it in the government negotiated. She's let out in a week.
Do you think so? No, I don't think so. Do you think it became a fuck you? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, public fuck you. Yeah. Because nobody knows about that Marine that's over there. They had the choice of releasing a Marine or releasing Brittany Griner. No. Yeah, there was a Marine who's charged with espionage. He's probably a better basketball player.
You look up what Britney is averaging this season to see if it was worth it. They just started how she doing. She got eight in her first game. She got eight points. I think she got fucking leading sword.
They're all like Lewis Gomez. There's weird videos of her. Dude, you got to get that video of him faking out Lewis Gomez. What? He asked those a fake and Lewis fully turns around. Pull it up. It's like, whoa. I said it, dude, Jamie. She's got 27 in her last game. Oh, that's legit. 28. 27. 27. Oh, wait, there's a big 17. 25. 31. Oh, who is that? I take it back. But who is the best player in the WNBA? Oh, shit.
shit that one guy Margaret super I don't think I don't think we want another name how come no yeah I was just gonna say that how come no tran true Joanna man t NBA how come none of them I know I know yeah they would be Duncan you'd be nuts not to who what idiot is not tried all you have to do is be a mediocre male basketball player
Dude, I was a practice player for the women's basketball team in Maryland. We figured it out. I would have been a sixth man. I would first off the bench. It's pretty good. Without working out hard. But imagine if you were like a mediocre professional basketball player who couldn't cut it in the NBA anymore and you just transitioned. I'll show it to you. Go for it. And they can't stop you. Yeah. No one can stop you anymore. You don't even have to do anything. You don't have to take drugs. You could be retired. We're well-retired.
It's the whole thing. It's late 40s. It's so strange. But I mean, do it. Who's listening? Yeah. Do it. Well, the weird thing is they just won the poker tournament. That's not even physical. Who did? A guy. He identified as a lady and won the poker tournament. Well, that could easily be because men play more poker. Oh, there's more men playing poker. Look at this. Look at this face. Look at this face.
That's not much of that. That's a nuttiest one. Look at this password, Matt. We sucked. It kind of worked. It turned all the way around. That was cool. That was bad. That's all that boxing training he's been doing. He turned all the way around. I was like, where did that pass go? I don't see the ball.
Wow. What? What? He's wearing Jordan's number. Fuck off. Do I get it? A little finish. Yeah, lay up. Until you dribble, until he hears the dribble, he doesn't know. Oh, that was the fun. They fought the entire time, dude. That was, that was insane. Did they take it seriously? They chose seriously. Way too seriously. Me and Matt were on their podcast. They were like, we can beat you in basketball. We're like, I was like, I've seen you play basketball. They played each other once.
And they can't play. They dribble with their head down. I was like, you guys, we suck. Me and Matt suck, but we can beat you. And then they were like, fine, $1,000. We're like, all right, let's play. Beat them 11 12. Nothing. We got to fight for a while over that. They were so serious. They just paid. It's like a year and a half. Lewis kept that. Lewis kept asking me to do podcasts. And I was like, I'm not doing it until you pay me. He's like, Oh, fucking pay me right now. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. That's how it worked.
How come he didn't pay you immediately? Well, he's Lewis. You're supposed to get paid at the game. Yeah, exactly. After the game, it got heated.
About what? Everything. Everybody was fighting. Seriously, you went too hard. We should have Dave. Dave never agreed to go. Me and Lewis got in a fight. I was a little out of line. He was a little out of line. Lewis is great at the line. You guys drinking? No. That looks like it. Lewis is pretty much flying up a handle than forgiving you the next day. Yeah. That's his thing. Yeah. And then he's like, I would never do. Me and him fight a lot. Girls like that are a lot of fun, aren't they? Girls like that are fun. Actually, I forgive them.
Sometimes you freak out. I go hey fucking you dumb. Yeah What makes them fun sometimes make some problematic you got that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a friend Tony always had that psychotic and erotic and next door neighbors. That's not bad. They're right next door to each other. Oh, yeah, so the butthole in the vagina Hey Don't tell that Jesus
What are you doing? What? You got to ring the bell. Takes a second. Jay was so mad that you beat him so bad. Why are you so mad about that? Well, Jay, sometimes he can't, he just can't take it. He's competitive. Yeah, but don't play a video game with him. Yep. Oh, big day, a big video gamer. He's not a controller. Yeah. Oh, he gets crazy. Yeah, I try. But when he is, what game are you playing?
NBA Jam He's loved basketball. Yeah, so that was what started the arguments. He was like, I'm getting pretty good. Does he actually play basketball? Yeah, they were playing the coordinates. Yeah, that was in his apartment building. Oh, okay. Yeah, I wore a chain wall at once. He tackled me. That's his thing.
He wears a chain wallet. That's a joke. I used to wear a chain wallet. It's a great way to not lose your wallet. I lost my wallet once in New York City. I left it in the back of the cab. It was such a fucking pain. I'd rather lose my wallet. I'd rather lose my wallet. What if you were a chain wallet inside chain out there?
Bro, the basket is so corny. It's so corny. It's so corny. It's so corny. Not Jay. He doesn't wear it anymore. This is these are the best. What are those? It's a little front zip up wallet for credit cards. That's all you need. Credit cards, drivers, license, all that shit. But now you got multiple things here. I want one of these things. So I got some shit. I got a fanny pack. I got a full of the bills.
That's a fanny pack. I'm aware. Yeah. Don't you block me motherfucker? I wear that. I got the same one DICE has. That's where I learned about this model. That's a fanny pack on. I was like, look at that fanny pack. I'm like, that's a beautiful fanny pack. It's nice, right? What did you get? It's roots of Canada. I'm like, oh shit. We sell these on higher primate.com. They legit from roots.
Good band. You scared of fanny packs. I don't know why. I don't care for them. They're very convenient. You got to wear them over the shoulder. That's what people do now. That's cowards. It's a cowards way. You're scared. You want the convenience of a fanny pack, but you want it to be a little more awkward to wear just so that you don't look like you're wearing a fanny pack. Yeah. Go for it or don't go for it. Don't be a coward. Wear a fanny pack. Wear it right over your dick. There you go. Sit right there. Keeps. Aren't you supposed to put it on your fanny though?
I don't know why they call it a fanny pack because do you know fanny in English is pussy yeah Because I had a fanny pack pussy pack and they were making fun of me. Would you call it? Yeah, no, I'm doing last right next week. I got it's called the fanny guy tour. They were like mite mite. That's a vagina
I was working the door at the Comedy Store and somebody you know they always make jokes and they come in and it's like they're like do you love fags in here and I'm like oh yes whatever and then I got turned back around they were just smoking
Someone's saying that though. That's like willful ignorance. They got to know that that is a different meaning in the United States. It's such a different meaning. It's not only that, like everybody knows about that different meaning. Yeah, that's a big one. Yeah.
That and the loo. The loo. Yeah. And the boot. Yeah. Yeah. That's all I got. On British beak. Lift. Yeah. Great. Trunk. Is that an elevator? Yeah. I think it's a truck. Yeah. Lift. Yeah. Lift is an elevator. And then a cookie is a cracker. The boot is weird. What do they call the front hood? The bonnet. The bonnet of a car? And the boot is the truck. The boot is the truck. That's really long. Bonnet.
Well, also, we invented the car, so why are you changing the names? Yeah, true. Why don't we fucking spell in tire with a why? Yeah. He's got a why in it. Why are you going to you and color your flavor? Yeah. Maybe they could have language. No, no, no, no. There were no tires.
I'd say we perfected it. They invented it. We're like, not bad, not bad. And then we ran with it. They had to go on the other side of the road to those dorks. Yeah. Put the steering wheel on the other side of the road. That'll fuck you up. I drove on there. It's hard. Yeah. Didn't Matthew Broder get in a car accident because of that? I ran over a kid. No. Fucked him up. What's different now? Who is? Robert. He'd be here better actor. He was getting hit by Jennifer Gray. That's the rumor. No way. Pull it up. That's the rumor. Yeah. Now they were dating and now they're done.
And so there was Jennifer Gray? I think so. There was a job, Jennifer Gray? Oh, yeah. Blowjob, Jennifer Gray. Bow, bow, bow. He was getting him a little bonnet. Lorraine Abonnet. Jesus, son. Remember that story? That was big news in the 90s. The biggest story of all the whole story. Do the trick in the world in the field. Oh, yeah. That was a giant story. Of course it was. What was the name?
on it. No, no, no. He was named as a well-enacted John Wayne Bobbin. John Wayne Bobbin. That's right.
He was a running late night joke for years forever every comic had a joke about we might we have to have talked about this I was I'm talking about just the idea of just like you'd never find my dick in that field I Don't think it was like I think she's threw it out the window. I know but mine's gone I think she probably threw in a very specific area usually earbud while you're biking
I don't know what a dick airplane seat. Well my dick's gone. We're never getting that. They stowed it back up. You got your phone light out. They did the first I think recently they did the first penis transplant. Let's get it going. But they can't transplant your balls.
Good, because what happens, she's left with it and drove away and threw it up the window. Left the apartment with the severed appendage and drove away on her car after a wintertime driving. It's a pretty good dick if you can find it. It's struggling with one hand. Struggling the steer with one hand. Who's that? She's a lady. She beat us out of the window at a real time field. She eventually stopped and called 911, telling them what had happened. Wow, where it was. It was found after an exhaustive search
And after being washed with aniseptic and packed in saline ice, it was reattached in the hospital. And he did two pornos. Yeah. I remember the pornos. Really? Franking penis. No. I'm going to produce. Franking penis? Yeah. Franking. That's one of the funniest. What was I just talking about? What were we just talking about while you pulled that up? Franking penis.
should go with frank and we need a little bit about right when we pulled out what were you talking about something different docking no great between their uh... britney grinder her dead bob bob bob bob bob bob it uh... finding a ticket of field you think that you know pina's transplant trampoline that's right
So they've done the first penis transplant. So I'm just dude, but they can't transplant balls because the balls carry your loads forever. You ever do transplants or something else? Your balls carry your DNA. Whoa. Yeah. So the balls, like if you transplanted balls, there's an ethical problem because that guy is obviously dead. And he's still having kids. He's out. You're having his kids. Also, if you get a tick transplant, you're going black though.
No, just for their requests. Why would you go black? What do you mean? Well, you don't want it to look like yours. Yeah, but you also want the girl. Imagine if that was a question saying I got a two-tone question. What do you want? What do you want? Do you care? We could bleach it.
She just got to give the patient testicles after consulting with the bioethicals. They did the sperm. Yeah, the sperm generating tissue would confer the potential for having children with genetic material from the donor. Wow. Keep going. Yeah. Keep the guy on. Dick Reddit. Dick Reddit. His name is Dick Reddit. His name is Dick Reddit. So, was this the first one? Yeah.
The patient who also lost both legs in the blast to scroll down a little bit. I don't want to make it. Do it. You guys notice the doctor who did the most on this? Well, I don't want him making my dick. WP, you had some reasons to go. We can go bigger. We can't let nature hold us back. Did you hear about the kid who was born with a giant dong? So they had to get surgery and the dad was like, go eight inches.
So they went him down eight. He had a football shaped dick and they surgery it down to an aider. It's a good dad. Good dad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Give him girth. Yeah. But what if you wanted nine? It's pretty good. Eight's good. One of his friends like, yeah, my dicks an inch bigger. Like, motherfucker. I have a football. Yeah. I had a giant football cock when I was a baby. Oh, yeah. What's the least? Keep keeping a kid with a giant dick. It's like the opposite of a boy named Sue. Easy life. Remasculating him. Yeah. This kid was one.
He learned to walk at nine years old That's the dick That's just a kid that's just a kid that's just a random kid hilarious that why would they use this kid is he white sexual organs of a grown man due to rare hormonal condition I bet that means he's jacked to Nobody came out of the womb fucking jacked with a giant hog
I bet he fucks well. Fucks all the babies. Said he was on on it. Imagine you walked in a nursery and you saw one baby with a giant dick trying to fuck the other baby. You know there's one freak nurse. Hey, I know you're only one. You can't do that. Keep your diaper on. Don't put that in your mouth. Don't fuck the kids. He's just like looking at you and scolding him while he's stroking it. Nothing comes out. That knuckles up. Imagine the ultrasound lady being like,
No way. I just can't pee. There he is. I think you have a dick stuck in there. Oh my god. They can't show the dick because it'll get baby born with three penises makes medical history. What? That's gotta be a reference test for a while. You gotta keep the middle one. Imagine if the mom was like, I don't want him to have a big one.
No, let him keep all three. Give him a normal size. Give him a hydra. Give him three dicks. Oh, yeah. No girls. Is that a total? We're going to get mad at you. But you could put one in the badge, one in the be hole, and one can just hang out. Sell two off.
with these organ transplants. That's not bad. They could make college education. You saw it? No, no, no. There's still a picture, but it describes what it is. What is it? One was under the primary, the root under his primary penis. Okay. Under the sack. Two down at one. Like in the tank. Yeah. He had a 10 centimeter long shlong. Did we all picture side to side? I did. Yeah, I did too.
Now, if he jizzes, do they all jizz? Ooh, good question. Or is one jizz at a time. Immediately go again. Immediately go again. Yeah, like, do you jizz the one you work? I do. I do. Particularly mysterious. A child hadn't been exposed to drugs in the womb and didn't have a family history of genetic aberrations. Yeah, right. Interesting. Old parents. A lot of weird dicks out there. The language used here is a little interesting. Yeah, since three release additional spouses are not released.
or will well-moved that's what you are post of it in three weeks the new york is always fucking around the best back page for a small system page six yeah three really is is that right or must have been a fucking sixth grade bully dude what a beast at three willies that's a crazy nickname if you found some of three decks you got three willies that's pretty good that's a one-eyed really now remember they had chink in the armor that was them
No, that was ESPN. No, ESPN. What was it? Jeremy Lin was an Asian basketball player, and he was dominating. And he said, chink in the armor. It was the ESPN headline. Really? Yeah. I'm just quoting the headline.
That's crazy. He's quoting me that one time. ESPN fires employee after offensive Lynn headline. Wow. He said I didn't know I have no idea. It was not a purpose. But that is a thing that you would say. Exactly. Like if there was a player that found a hole in the defense, he found a chink in the armor. I would like to hear the phrasing. What do you mean? It's a phrase in the hornet's defense. He found a chink in the hornet's defense. That's an expression.
It is a common expression. Yeah. Tough one on this one, though. It is a tough one on that one. But you could make that mistake, and it could make that mistake. Like, you say it all the time. I'm honest, I don't forgive him. No. He tried to say the Negro baseball Hall of Fame Hall, but he said it's fast with an accent. It came out the worst way possible. I will not. Exactly. We've got a great time here. We went to the baseball league Hall of Fame.
Oh, it's full. If you have an accent that day. Oh, yeah. But no one doesn't have an accent with anything else. I'm not too fucked. Yeah. He said it wrong. He accidentally said it. He said it. The N-word. Yeah. Not full N-word. Oh, damn. But see the one in there? The guy next to him now looks like, oh. There's a newscaster talking about this guy who had done something like on his long hike. But the amazing thing is that he's gay. No, he's blind. I mean, he's blind.
She says, and she says it like that. He's gay. And then the right kind of person. But he's gay. It's hard in her face when she realized that she said gay instead of blind. Oh my god. How do you get the gay from blind? Panic!
You know how many people back on the cameras on them? They're just panicked. They don't know what they're saying if you misspeak It's bad enough you go the amazing thing is that he's house. You're like, oh, that didn't make it. Sorry about that. Yeah, but when you say that you're like Fuck if I get a sense if you miss be if you say something and as you're saying like this doesn't make sense But it's chicken the armor you're like, oh Jesus. Yeah
Think about that fucking the base the the Hall of Fame the baseball Hall of Fame guy must have been like holy Soon as they fucking went like all right. We're done with that segment. Just like yeah Yeah, the best one ever is the live they live feed before the game baseball
He's talking to the guy with him up in the booth. He didn't know it was a hot mic and they were like it was like B roll the stadium before the game. You just hear the announcement go
Fag capital the world and then he gets fired in like the fifth inning. Oh, he has an apology He's like all I'm so sorry if you never want to work with me again all this Cassianos hits a home run in the middle of his apologies going to my wife and my kids I love you deep drive that things out He went down. He went out doing his job We think happens to a guy like that. He's doing a TV show with your list
Oh, that's right. I guess went out over the year that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have for anyone out there, that blows. Now he's working a gas digital. I'm so very, very sorry. This is the best. I pride myself and think of myself as a man. That's the auto's. Let's go.
He's on autopilot. He's got to do it. He's got to do it. He's been doing this for 30 years. Good for him. He goes back into it. Whatever happened to that guy? He's going to show it your list. For real? Yeah. Like a minor radio. Yes, he is. He's going to minor league stadiums. Joe's taking batting practice at minor league stadiums.
He got a jersey for like the Montana. That's right. The white fish. They put him in. Was Joe Liss have like some baseball fantasy? He's a hell of an announcer. Yeah, he's got a great and a good dancer and a singer. But yeah, but he's like, this is my co-host that guy. I was like, where do I know the names? Like, think about it. Yeah. Fag. Yeah, starting old. The thing is, there's so many people out there. There's so many people out there that could do that job.
Yeah, some are better than others. Some are better than others. Oh, yeah, for sure. Well, there's the best day. Baseball is tough, too, because it's basically like a podcast, because it's such a boring fucking game. Oh, right. You guys just talk. You've got to be on, funny, captivating.
Yeah. That's interesting. Baseball is slow. Hockey fighting is easy. Hockey is hard. Fighting is easy because it's all happening. Right. So like the excitement is not what you talk about. It's all happening. So you just have to describe what's going on. But what if they're just kind of circling? They want to put it on the ground. Do you guys have to go? Oh, he's circling. So you just talk about what he's trying to do. Like I was trying to set something up.
Like, what do you see in the movement? What do you see in the way they're interacting with each other? Like, what patterns do you see? You see thousands of fights, you see patterns. You see when someone's starting to set things up, you see someone who's pressing, someone who's biting on faints, you see things. But I also see some announcers be like, so they start talking about his past and how he came up and how he trains.
Yeah, sometimes you do that, and it's all free flow. You know, you don't know what you're gonna say. Yeah, that's why Anik is the best. He's the best. That guy, John Anik. That's crazy. He's good. When you take me to those fights and I see that guy work, it's fucking crazy. It's so much harder. Why is he so good? He's the goat. He's the best. First of all, it's the smoothest. He's the most knowledgeable. He's the best at recall. He's the best at, he never flubs any of his lines. Everything is smooth as fuck. He knows when to get in. He knows when to get out. He knows when to set you up.
He's so aware of like if something goes to the ground like DC's explaining wrestling positions. He never gets in the way He's just the fucking man and he loves the sport my favorite about him is watching him When you guys start the main event broadcast you see him like because it's so loud You guys can't hear each other. He's got an earpiece in they're like
He's like we are live from Yeah, well people say like why are you why are you yelling during the broadcast? I can't fucking hear me in the middle of the day in the beginning when the UFC is about to go live on pay-per-view It's especially like up there's something that who's on Square Garden is playing the food song. They still do that. Oh, yeah, it's like we're starting on the song is the shit
Which one song is it? That's Bob O'Reilly. Oh my god. And it has all the highlights of like 30 years of craziness. And they lined up the ball. Yeah. It's incredible. It's incredible. I love it. If you ever working out, you could put that on a loop and just fucking go for hours. They change out the video all the time. Yeah, they're always adding new highlights, new things. It's the shit. That's out of all the jobs that I have, like that one, like I fucking never get tired of that.
No, it's the best. It's the best. I always get excited. That fucking Salt Lake City lineup I showed you. Bananas. Justin Gatesy versus Dustin Poirier. Yeah, my two favorites. Oh, shit. Yeah, the whole fucking card is bananas. That's a big one, man. Oh, yeah. That's a big one. When's that? Salt Lake City. I think it's July. July 29, I believe. I'm going July 8th. I owe the Vegas. Oh, let's go. I'm doing shows in Vegas. I texted you this. That's right. Where are you doing?
Or if you were doing any. Well, if I did a theater, I would do that place at the Mirage. I like that place a lot. I think I'm doing that. That's the one Ron White always does. That place is a shit. But last time I did the MGM Grand Arena, and that was pretty bad. I'm not going to do that one. I bet you could. I bet you could.
I'm going to do that theater. Yeah, there's another theater that I did, too. That's like 4,000. What is that one? The one that sort of connects it to the MGM? No, no, the other one. There's another one.
There's a theater, like, it's a really nice theater. We hold the Wayans there sometimes. I forget the Wayans brothers. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's like the something point theater, something. We've had the... Oh, the Park MGM. That's why Park MGM. That place is dope. That's a really good theater. That's like, was it like 4700 capacity?
That's a good one. I gotta get back to Vegas. But the mirage is the ship. You can't beat that mirage. That fucking Terry Fedor room is perfect. It's like, it's angled, it sets up for you. Is this the card? That's the one I'm going to. That's pretty great. It's pretty verkinosky versus yay. What a treat it is.
And Drekka's to see Hooker. Drekka's to see is the dude that. Oh, let's go. Oh, yeah, man. Uh, nickel and dime. Jalen Turner versus Dan Hooker's a great fucking fight. Oh, yeah. Holy shit. That's a great fight. Yeah. Well, I'll be there. Brandon Moreno versus Pantoja. That's a fucking great fight. But then I kick around this. Yeah. Have you seen Yair Rodriguez fight? No. One of the wildest motherfuckers that's ever fought in MMA.
Go to a Zaire Rodriguez highlight. Yair has some of the craziest kicks. He's got this Taekwondo background, but he does all his wild shit. He's hit B.J. Penn with a 360 round house kick. He's around that long. He spins 380. He **** B.J. Penn.
Oh damn. He kicked him with the right and then in the air hits him with the left. He's a beastie. He's so dynamic. Wow. That's a tall Mexican. His striking end is on the ground. He's fucking, he finished Josh Emmett with a triangle on his last fight on the ground. He's nasty.
Oh, this is old bro. He is fucking wicked. He's wicked and he's really hard to figure out because everything he does is different than anything. Look at that. Behind the back kick. Behind the back kick kick. Back that up. Look at that. Look at that. Behind the back swings around. There's like a spinning back kick to the supporting leg. Watch that again. Look how creative this fucking guy is.
Nobody does that. Let me see that again. Back it up. Look at that behind the back. Oh, and then spinning back fish. Fucking genius. Holy shit genius. Reminds me of something I would do though. He's like, you were crush it. You should join the U.S. bro. Watch this elbow. Look at this. Boom. Oh, that was nice. Check this out. Guys chasing him. He does a spinning up. Oh, that's a famous clip. Up elbow. He's so dynamic. See it. Was that the zombie? Look at this shit.
flying, jumping roundhouse kick. Oh, fuck is this guy's problem, dude? Hey, guys. Bro, he's so good. Should be arrested for that. And off his back, he's fucking nasty with submissions. He does everything that. Yeah, I hear what triggers is a motherfucker. It's gonna be cool. Wow. And he's a guy that had his ups and downs in the UFC. He had some fights where he got dominated by wrestlers, where he really had Frank Yeager fucked him up. How long has he been around? He beat the shit out of him.
He's been around a while. He's been around a while. I feel like he remembers them. He's fairly young because he got into UFC fairly young. He's famous. He's really good, man. He had like a back and forth with Max Holloway, like it's down to the wire. Holloway is a beast. Yeah, he was on the 2014 Ultimate Fighter. Yeah, yeah. He won that. Real Jewish. He threw up once when I was interviewing him. Oh, that's your bar neighbors. Bro, he's so good, dude. This dude's so good. He's just so different than anybody else.
And he's a really good grappler too. That's what's crazy. It's like usually when guys are that good at striking, their submissions aren't top-notch, but he's got everything. He's not really a wrestler, but he can wrestle, but my God, his fucking kicking's off the charts. Look at the distance. See, in that distance, you're fucked because he's... That guy's good too. Well, this is the rise of him.
So this is how he won the ultimate fighter. He won that. And then, you know, you just get to see some highlights from some of his fights. But Volkinowski is the baddest motherfucker alive. So that fight, that fight is incredible. That's going to be fun. But Volkinowski is pound for pound number one. Volkinowski is the man. What? Yeah. I mean, he lost to, to, um, here it is. Um, Islam Akazov.
Very, very close fight, barely lost. I thought he edged him, but it was a very, very good fight. And then you look at Volcanovsky, you know, at 145 and he's just unprecedented. He storms the game. Yeah, dude. But back up that fight.
Does it show the 360 roundhouse kick you hit BJ with? Look how he does that, that round kick to the straight punch in the same motion. Like the kick lands and the punch is right behind it. Straight into big brother punch is so nasty. He's got Luigi coming next. He's gonna do a finger up the butt. Big brother punches.
Oh, all right, call it, will ya? Yeah. Geez, Louise, you ever see? That was when BJ went to 145, and BJ at 145 was very depleted. It was not a good move for him to get down to that weight class. GSP said he was the toughest fighter he's ever fought. 29. Yeah, when BJ was 155, but as he got older, he tried to lower weight classes, you know, it's just tired of being with bigger guys. And it just, his body wasn't the same anymore. He was so good. Oh, BJ was the motherfucker when he was in his prime.
a lion but i would say that like you gotta look at a guy like in their prime like mike tyson in his prime you gotta look at them like in their prime and then stop watching yeah you can't look at them when they're deteriorated and say all overall they didn't because overall you're correct but if you want to look at the greatest expression but if you're just retired
Right then you'd still only look at the primes just look at that part. Yeah, I would say the same for comedians. Yeah Really fall off. What's my favorite example that can't send a great example. Yeah What's happening with some prayer?
Oh, yeah. This is John Utah's card. Look at this. This is what I'm talking about. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This is the card. This
Good scroll back up. So he's funny too. Do you learn to that one mark well hovitch? Yeah, I hate that That I have going you're going. I want to love to go. That's a crazy fight because you can't fuck up a behovitch that guy throws Let's do a wise guy show and then pop over here. That would be a good time. Let's get let's get a prayer easy. It's right there, right? It's like
Pereira, is he going again? Right there by the stadium. Why would they go through? Well, because I don't think Pereira really wants to make 85 anymore. It's absolutely brutal. Oh. And there's a lot of speculations that that's why, well, first of all, Israel hit him with the perfect punch. It was perfect. It was perfect. The follow up was perfect. It was a beautiful knock. It was cool. Spectacular. Spectacular. But a lot of people are speculating that he doesn't take a punch that well because he cuts so much weight. Oh, prayer. Yeah.
He'd be better if he walks around way over 205. He walks around like 230. It just seemed like they just seemed like they immediately got rid of the idea of a trilogy immediately Yeah, you know, I mean like as soon as the fight ended they were like, what are you doing next? No, not even a mention of yeah No, it's one one an MMA. Yeah, it's a 3-2, right? Overall. Yeah 3-2 overall
Anyone? I already got someone. Not now. You already did something? What? I'll take a nibble. Let's go nibble. Let's go. I'm still trying to wake up from that hangover. That's a big fight for Pahira to go up to 205 and to fight Bovitch. He did. That's a big test. I'm excited about that one.
Some of these chocolates. Were these the ones we were eating last time? Mm-hmm. They're like one careful. Volcanox is funny too. Oh, he's hilarious. Volcanox can tour the fucking bros. Oh, they all shoe drink. Half? Was that a lot?
I have to mean to evasa tied to evasa. Yeah, you mean David to it was another boxer. No, the shoe guy. Yeah, that's sweetie Do a shoey when you're in Australia Burke Christ was saying he got a throat infection from doing shoes in our throat. Oh, that's from blowing dudes. Yeah, I'll show you down under you didn't understand what it meant Thank you
They tried to get me to do a shoey when I was there. What'd you do? I said, no, on stage. I got to evase it, try to drink a beer out of my shoe. Ooh. Ty tried to drink a beer out of my shoe in a post fighting a lot of them. I'm like, dude, I'm wearing them. Fuck that. Why not? I have to wear that, because I have to walk around. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. I don't support that behavior. You don't, that's the coolest shit they do. I don't think so.
I could see Shayne doing it. I could see Shayne does his fight. I can see Shayne doing it. No, no chance on it. I said, no. Those guys, they Hock Lewis. Yeah, they speak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you watch two of us to do it, Vogue will be standing there with him going. What? Yeah. And then they Hock Lougies. What? Big, thick one. You should respect each other. They probably drink milk so they have extra flam. That's not friendly. Oh, that's gayer than jizz.
Is it? Yeah, drinking milk from out. A hock-a-loo? Yeah, it's been in your mouth. That's less gay. Spinning your mouth fucking? Yeah, I think sucking someone's cock and cum coming in your mouth is the most gay. Well, that's literally gay, but you might have point on it. You gotta sound reason. You gotta sound reason. No one's spelled out like that, listen.
I guess I guess in a way you're right coming from a guy who watched people drink come on TV kissing Oh, yeah, you see it watch people drink a glass of calm and that was bull come. Yeah, donkey Donkey donkey. You know why cuz it's the cheapest great punk band Because don't try to save money. Anybody Is that right? Donkeys can use us. Yeah, mules and horse if I put donkeys in a lady's bed. She won't knock her up my killer
Interesting. Try it. Imagine if it was one animal that could fuck a person what they never had before and one lady gets pregnant with like koala. Oh, shit. Jesus Christ. Like it's like one sperm that actually does work on human eggs. Slights to Australia, quadruple. It would already be hybrids.
If that was the case, imagine if your jizz worked on everything. We have universal jizz. We have a whole positive blood. I'm just learning it doesn't. Imagine some people that you have a whole positive blood, you can donate blood to anybody. If you have universal jizz, everybody gets it. It just works on everyone. Dudes of jizzed on ant hills. You remember the old days? You remember the old days. You remember the old days? I don't know if you guys remember this, but they used to do tests on people to see if you could have kids together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I don't think it was real. I don't think it really made sense to be able to do like blood tests on people to see if you should have kids together. I remember this. It's a heartbreaking test. I remember. I don't think it's real. No, I don't think it works. If it's safe for you to have kids together. There was something that they did. I think it was just nonsense. It's weird how incest. I just vaguely remember that when I was a kid.
So here you can find what that is. It doesn't look like a weird camp counselor. There's no synthetic tests, but I don't know if that's what they were doing. No, they definitely weren't doing genetics. How old were you that you knew about this? I remember hearing about it when I was like 10 or something like that. What the fuck is that? What are you hanging out with? Weirdos. I have fishing. The guy when you're fishing strange people trying to fish. Oh, yeah. That guy. The Hoover salesman from different strokes. You can't get pregnant. Do that guy.
Oh, yeah, he's trying to give you the trout. He's a big fella, too Hey, we should go fishing
Oh, we should go fishing. Ari and I went fishing in Alaska. Really? We got to do outside salt. We haven't gone since then. We haven't gone since then. It was so fun. We went salmon fishing. We had such a blast. Oh, we got to do it. We got to do it. I'd love to do that. We could eat it after. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. The mosquitoes were insane. That's insane. In Alaska, yeah, they're terrible. It's crazy. We had spray. We had it.
2014 maybe we had bug spray and look at that northern pike eating another northern pike Christ, it looks like a two-docking
Wow, look at that. Is that the picture of Ari Sammons? What's that? Click on it. Oh, is that right? That can't be what it is. No, this is you go to Instagram, that's the actual picture. Somebody else stuck that in there. That's it. Whoa! Nice pull there, Julie. Good to move back. Dude, 2013. 2013. 2010 years ago, brother. Wow. We haven't gone since then. It was so nice. So fast. We saw moose. Yeah, we saw moose. It's like eagles. That was my first time seeing eagles.
That was my first time seeing an eagle in the wild. This is already those fuckers. Out though. Look, you get the Bud Light cans out. You're not even hiding them anymore. There's nothing to be ashamed of, dude. I agree with you. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I feel like you should be the new spokesperson. You could turn this motherfucker around. They better hurry up and give me some money or I'm going to start drinking cooers. We were talking about the ways they could turn around last night, remember? Yeah, you had a pretty good idea. What was that?
No, okay. Fair. It was an idea that if they did it their stocks would go through the roof But the country would actually yeah, it would start off the most innocuous one I had was Pepe the frog holding a Bud Light and says feels bad, man Yeah, and Pepe just might just just release that people who look I'm listening. Yeah Listen, where you going with this like a Bud Light turns full heel like Hulk Hogan did
Yeah, just W.O. Yeah, I love it. I already have the frog stuff they could eat.
Isn't it wild that that fucking poor dude his cart? I was like this little liberal fella. It'd be funny is the frogs like she ain't. He got four chance. I don't know a lot of that. I'm definitely going to use it. And he tried to kill off his frog. Is he going to stop using it? Oh yeah. You can just draw it. If you go to truth social, how many frog avatars are there? It's quite a few. It has to me, right? I've never gone.
Would it be, where would you get the most frog avatar? It would be a 4chan thing, more than anything, right? They love it. I can get a random image and just saying, this now means this. Yeah. And it doesn't, but they're just like, this, this one was the greatest of the, are you okay? Yeah, it was Arabic. You know about that one? That one's insane. That one's insane. Which one? Just getting everybody. It's white, white supremacy. One power.
And that guy got fired, that truck driver. He was like, I'm texting guy. I was like, hey, he took a photo. And they started showing Steph Curry doing this. And they're like, wait, hold on. Maybe we've got it wrong. A lot of guys told me that if you do that on your pants, if someone looks, they hit you in the picture. They took the arm. Ow, I didn't look.
Like that bro. He got a clean shot off you punch buggy. Come on. I didn't look so rude. I didn't look I'll review the tape I'm gonna punch you too hard my man I do conversational manner in your direction
JV, can you review the tape right now? I can't do it. I think that was it. I was what do you do reflection dude? I don't even know what's down there. Who did that? When did that start? I never was a rat. I never was a rat. You can do that in high school. No, it's huge in high school. What's the capital of Thailand? Get him.
That was a classic. What's he doing? Who's going to eat me? I'm looking for a theology question. Being Matt McCusker, we've been working on this one. When you're ordering dinner and the waiter comes in and it's like, what would you like for dinner? You go, I'd like a hot dog. That's fun.
And you sexually assault the waiter. He's like a hot dog. He's got three bucks an hour. And now this. He's got to be nice because he still wants you to tip him. Yeah. He's like, all right, guys. Now I told you, I got, no, I got Adam with it last night. My dad.
This is one of the most uncomfortable things that's ever happened. We were at a fucking restaurant, and we talked to the hostess. This was like a very cute girl, and I was talking to her a little. My dad came home and goes, Shane, you see where the horse bit me? He went like this. I go, take a look over the shoulder and he goes, bla, bla, bla.
That would have gotten me. That's a good one. Get everybody. What a mister. You see the horse bit? There you go. Dude, look how fucking summer I am. Do girls do things like that? No, I hope so. No, I hope so. They do not. Girl each other's bots and boobs. Girls are getting mad at each other. Give each other a badge grab. Oh my God. No chance. Does it take your fucking kind? It's disgusting. Is it?
Probably your dick's okay. Pussies in the wild. Oh, in the world. No, I'm saying when you're out walking around, you touch one of those things. Oh my god. It's very, it's like seafood. Yeah, you gotta go home. Talk to us.
I like them. I like Pussy's too. Okay. I'm convinced. We sound like the gayest guys. I like Pussy's. I actually love having sex. Bro, this is one guy that I knew was gay, but he wanted me to be gay. Jamie. Everybody knew he was gay. I mean, he was a great guy, but he told me the story about making out with this girl in a club.
And the way I described it to my friends is like, if you told me all the words in French, but I didn't know what they meant, and I said them, even though I said them right, it'd be like, something's wrong. Yeah. Yeah, I saw her and just looked at me and just started fucking making out in the middle of the club.
It was so hot kissing. I'm like, I don't think this happens, sir. I do not think that he's doing any pressure to what he's overheard. I support the gay community. You don't have to do this to me. It's fine, man. It's fine. You don't have to do this. You're gay fucking rules. Bro, this saddest shit ever, those gay guys that are in the closet. I know a few of them. That does suck. All right. Because they can't, they just fucking, they've been holding on to it for so long.
Yeah, you guys hide it. They're just used to it. It's great. It's nutty Kevin Minnie, wait till dad. I get that. Imagine not knowing that says was gay. Wow. Imagine. Imagine. Wait, who's Fez? Ron and Fez? He's gay? He was. He's dead. What? What are you talking about? Fez? He was a walking trumpet.
Yeah You could light a cigarette off of that dude. Yeah He was awesome. He was what do you get AIDS? I used to love that
They came out to O&A and it was like, wait, what's this now? And Ron was a great, like, he was a real fan of comedy. I'm already a Ron. Good comic, too. He does the seller all the time. He's killer. Oh, I didn't even know he was a comedy. Yeah. Hilarious. I don't know if that's awesome. And he loves New York. When they tore down the stand, because the whole building sold the stand was like, we have a five-year contract. They're like, buy us out. It's the only way. And then they eventually tore it down. He goes, yeah, so fucking rich people can live higher in the clouds.
Damn, he's like all the way here. Yeah, Ron has like it I'm gonna fuck it up and I'm gonna make it not that funny But it's a joke. I think it's one of those jokes. I think about constantly. Oh, yeah, Ron has a joke about He was walking down the street in a crane in New York collapsed and almost felt like almost hit him He had to like run and he's like New York's so fucking crazy that I forgot that happened And then I was at home watching the news with his wife who he was with his wife or I don't know if he's married, but he was like
Oh shit, that was I was there for God. Yeah, that's a good point. He's very funny. He had one he had one it just about like Somebody called and was like hey, you have been funny all morning and his response. He just goes so Such a conversation
Ron Bennington's Unmasked with Patrice O'Neill is... Unreal. ...the best. So good. Unmasked. Unmasked. Yeah. Unmasked with Norton. Everything I did on podcasting was just mimicked off that. Yeah. Great broadcaster. Yeah. Isn't that interesting, like, what podcasting is now is, like, what that was?
It was an unusual thing, an unusual thing. Just sit down and just talk to someone one on one. And as a young comic, there was none of that. I really don't want comedy CDs. I used to listen to them. It was like Woody Allen, Seinfeld. And now, young comics have so much. It's like a wealth that never ends. The podcast? Four masters. Oh, yeah. Fucking guys, gay.
All of the true masters. Yeah, they have so much more to go on. So much more to watch too. That's the most amazing thing. It was hard to get a hold of a good VHS back there. You had to loan CDs to each other. You heard a good CD of somebody. You're like, let me have that. I never even saw comedy.
Yeah, right. Only only listen. I never, my dad had like a car when she started. The first two specials I remember was Dane Cook and Carlos Mincea's Comedy Central presents. Easy. And I remember sitting there going, God damn, this, these are the, this is it. That's the top of the mountain. Yeah, I never saw shit. Yeah. Comedy Central put a lot of stuff on for like people who didn't have HBO. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Comedy Central did my Comedy Central special on 2014. The idea was like, if I did it anywhere else, we'd get less people to see it. Yeah.
More people would say that's crazy. Comedy Central is huge back there. We got huge. I watched all those. Art Parker, Doug Benson. How did they fuck that up? I'll tell you how. They didn't adapt. This is not happening. They got rid of our sphere. There was a host of this is not happening. And they got a superior deal at Netflix and they wouldn't allow him to continue. It was nuts. They were like, they lost their fucking lives. You would say sometimes Jews hate Jews.
True. Yeah, no agents. They didn't run that company. County said it was run by Norwegians. Yeah, the funniest people alive. We were trying to figure out you were gonna pay everybody. Yeah, that was really what we're trying to figure out how to They were trying to hold her off my head. They were going they were going like we're gonna fire right on your whole crew That's been around for five years. We're gonna fire them with two weeks out. Good luck paying their rent damn
Or you fucking They said it that way. Yeah, Jesus or you comply and you do fucking turn on this Netflix deal and I was like no fucking way what? Yeah, Rogan was like all hosted episode for free. Well, I hope you I was like, okay, you were gonna do one, huh? Yeah, I said we'll get a bunch of people that are your friends will host them for free. They go. No, they were so mad Wow
They went to full. They just, they just collapsed. It's bad. What are they doing now? Nothing. You watch their clips in office. They're studio. I mean, if you looked at the drop off of comedy show, it's gotta be insane. Dude, think about that. They had Chappelle show. Yeah. South Park and Chappelle show. Mancho. Daily show. I was on South Park. Daily show is probably the only thing that keeps them alive. I think they're more, I think they're just a studio man. They take their stuff and sell it off. They make more money. H point O was gigantic. What happened to Tosh? What's he doing?
He's around. He's so funny. He's hilarious. He's an underrated. Most underrated. Solid comic. Great comic. Is he doing stand? Because he's so known for the show that people... I don't know.
I don't know. I think that rape thing fucked him up. No, I think the joke he had about that joke was great. Oh, yeah, but I had a joke about that, too. About his thing? Yeah, but the cancel thing. That was 2014. Yeah, he's early. Yeah. I feel like he fell off after that. He was a petition to get him fired. I don't think he fell off, dude. I don't think he's doing all these things. OK, OK. Go for him. He speaks on the road to fucking sold out places. What the fuck are you doing? He's doing the brush. Yeah. There you go. All right. Good for Tash.
Still killing it. That was one I listened to constantly. That was like when I was in college when he was dead. Great, right? Which was just listening to all of his albums. Same. He was so good. He has a new spell, not new, but new his latest. Yeah, it was great. It's great, but no one talked about it. It was on Comedy Central. That's why it's called People Please Show. Yeah. It's so funny. It's like Roy Wood. Yeah. They locked him up in this deal and then the whole thing collapsed and he's like, it's like still like, I guess I'm still supposed to perform at the World Trade Center.
Right. So here's what's fucked up is that you didn't have a deal to do a special there. You had an exclusive deal. That was so insidious about it. You were, you had the option to go other places. You do whatever I wanted. Exactly. And they're like, no way. And then they would, they said, uh, I was like, guys, it'll bring more viewers to the show. They go, we think it'll be more our show bring more viewers to Netflix, which at the time, like, Oh, good call. All of them work at Netflix now, by the way.
Yeah, some of them do. It was so bad. They all get to, they just get to pack, like they go somewhere else. Exactly. They would work in comedy. Yeah, exactly. They go to something else. You know what I should have done? I didn't do it. What I should have done is I have access to a giant platform. I'm just going to go and publicly say to the public. I guess that's how you say it. They're like, hey, they're doing this. What do you guys think?
Yeah, I stayed quiet. Yeah, I should have like gone wild with it. Yeah, but they were still trying to salvage it. I was gonna pay everybody I was like sweet. Let's just I'll sell it. Oh, I was gonna borrow like a bunch of money from you Why would you give it to him like he'll give it to me? And then just pay all these employees. Yeah, like no, we're still doing my yeah, we talked about that I was totally willing to do that. We're just gonna pay him off and
Yeah, you were the first guy to do the, you didn't get hired, then you got a bunch of views on YouTube, then you got hired. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I had to go around the system to get Norman on. They were like, they're, we can't find anybody out. Yeah. And I was like, Norman, can you just plan a trip to LA and be like a really hire? And you're like, yeah, okay. I also fucked the makeup girl.
Hey, that's that once dripper really like Joe. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well she was you're a handsome devil Then they goddamn they gotta hang out with you. That's tough They see the pack of notes and it's like a reconsider
He made the pack smaller after we criticized them I got made fun of on the road. We're like pull out the joke book and they would all die laughing Okay, that's ways I give it to him. Please let him see it the wallet though Fuck is in your wallet look at it. What is in there? Jesus Christ Oh, what do you call it? Well, the hookers in a money clip
Huh? You know what money clip is? I know what it is, but keep it in your front pocket. What am I gay? Hey, come on. I can't do it. Money's got a point. Thank you. Money clips are gay. It's a gambling day. Unless you got a monocle. It's not allowed. Really? That's right. Fucking monopoly guy. The right money clip really is rubber band.
No, I get three more of these. I get a free smoothie. I can't. Yeah, you're right dude. Yeah, you got 20 grand or three whole punch for a fucking free smoothie. Those foods are $9.99. I go to the same coffee shop every day and I don't do a punch card because I'm like why I'd feel worse going. Could you punch my card?
You get over $5 on the 10th one. I'm waiting to cash this not being to guard. Oh, yeah, come with you. All right. You got it breadsticks. Do you use those? Oh, yeah. I know. I got all the room in there. Norman is way juier than anyone you know. You can hear the crazy drive today. Today we got lunch. Me and Mark got lunch. I had three French fries left. The guy came to take and he goes, no, no, no. He ate three of my French fries. Can't let those go. Those are truffle.
We're Bonaro. We're staying late because they were like drove everybody home Norman was off doing a Norman adventure comes back at like 1 a.m. There's a staff party crawfish boil whatever
It was over four hours ago because I got the craziest thing to tell you. Are you wasting all these heads? You can't let that go to waste. He never changed. We had no food in my house as a child. Dude, you guys had food. We didn't have food. We had evaporated milk or powdered milk. I was looking in the wrong drawer. Wait, this isn't the fucking...
2005. What are you talking about? What do you mean? It was poor. You were that poor from the 30s. 2005. I was in college. All right. But I didn't have an evaporated milk. Yeah. What's that mean? I mean, we had it amongst the chunky soups. Yes. We had a lot of growth. You had chunky? Yeah, but you're talking about powdered milk, right? Yeah, powdered. What was I saying? powdered milk, separated milk. Oh.
You'd get powdered milk. Yeah. People had it. I remember growing up having it. Yeah. Water to it. Yeah. Tap water to it. Yeah. It's pretty rough. You're just drinking fluoride and powdered milk. Calcium? Is it like... It's not even supposed to drink tap water. What? You should absolutely filter your tap water. That's all I drink is tap water. It's so safe.
That's my least favorite thing about New York people. It's the best tap water. It's the best tap water. It's fucking tap water. It's disgusting. Get a Brita. Yeah, get a filter. We had lead pipes. They just got them up. Really? Yeah, we had lead pipes. Yeah, if you turn your wallet and brown comes out, what are you talking about? I don't say the pipes, maybe. They used to use lead paint until they realized kids were getting really stupid. What's going on here? Oh, yeah. That was the original autism.
That was a thing, man. Lead paint. Yeah, lead paint. Do you know that lead gasoline before they made unleaded gasoline lowered everyone's IQ in cities?
Like literal lead poisoning from the sky. Those cars were disgusting. They had no fucking no protection. They would put up blue fucking powder fumes out of the back of it.
Breathing it you're breathing in hey. Oh is that that yeah? That's the lead paint being the bell you would you would breathe in lead see if you can find that like lowered IQ here it is lead exposure in last century shank shrank IQ scores of half of Americans Wow
Yeah, the 40s. Let it gasoline calculation of stolen over 800 million cumulative IQ points since the 1940s. Holy hell, that's terrifying. A lot of the great old artists died of lead poisoning. Led Zeppelin. Led was the first additive to gasoline to help cars engine healthy. However, automotive health came at a great expense of our own well-being. When did that happen when they switched to unleaded?
Because I seem to remember it like when I was in high school, if you had a muscle car, you wanted to get leaded gas. Leaded? Oh, really? Yeah. It gets leaded. Lead related to health problems. I'm so bad after I get a leaded car. Such as faster aging of the brain, leaded gas for cars was banned in the US in 1996. Wow. That's pretty late. That's late. 1997. Yep. But researchers said that anyone born before the end of that era, and especially those, the peak of its use in the 1960s, that's me, and the 1970s, had considerably
Concerningly high level, high lead exposures as children. That's me, bro. That's why you have patients. That's why I'm nerds. Yeah, with dorks. Yeah, from dorks. Yeah. Lead exposure. Mm-hmm. Tough times. Isn't that fucked? I could've been way smarter.
Shit. I think they'll do that with a- You're underachieving shit. Yeah, have you tried paint? I could've been told fucking smart. It's delicious. You think they'll do that with the internet at some point? For sure. What? Because everybody's killing these girls or kill them, so they like to press anxiety. Oh, girls are killing themselves? Yeah, Instagram. Yeah, it's been a big factor in self-harm for kids. If you look at the invention of social media on, there's a giant spike. There's a great book about it.
Lack of privacy, seeing your friends doing better things, parties done by it, to seeing pictures of the parties you weren't invited to, and that's what I'm just hearing about it later. No, it's fucking crazy. If you really think about it. Imagine, like, those filters, like TikTok, my daughter was complaining about it yesterday. They don't show your real face. They put a filter on automatically.
Like when you do stuff on TikTok, it changes the way your face looks, it smooths out your skin, it makes you look prettier. And so everybody's comparing what they see in the mirror to what they see on Instagram. So the prom version of other people. They look like shit, yeah. But I thought big was beautiful.
Yeah, everyone has this fake old LA kind of stripper fake like it's all like devoid of character. I see a guy use those filters. I immediately dismiss everything you say. Yeah, that's a pretty cigarette. You're wearing a filter.
And when you're doing your selfies, you're taking pictures. They're putting makeup on. It's worse. It's a mask. It's like you're hiding. This is fake. When you see people do it, you're like, what are you doing? Do you not know that everybody knows that? That's so crazy.
It's like having giant fake eyelashes like everybody knows right like what are you doing? This is insane. It doesn't look good. It looks crazy You've got a filter on your face. It's like a cartoon You look like a cartoon, but you like looks good It is like those people who like get plastic surgery like it looks fine everyone else like no way they all look
Well, the thing is, like, some plastic surgery looks good. I've seen some women. They're all going for that. They'll, like, get jowls or hanging in their eyelids, and then they get tucked up nice, not crazy, and they look way better. Like, there's guys out there that are masters.
but then there's monsters. One step to have. The filler monsters. But why these millionaires get bad surgery? Because they also want this to you. Michael Jackson, it's body dysmorphia. You go crazy. You don't know what you're seeing. And it's like, I don't think we can do what you're asking. Like, just try it. They gotta do it.
Yeah, that's one guy you never hear bragging. Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon. I knew he was gonna be out of work. Fuck was that guy? That guy was like, I'll do it, but you can't tell anybody. I see the opposite of the Kardashian surgery. Go through it. Right. The Kardashians all have great surgery. Very nice. You look at what they did, they shaped their fucking skulls. I mean, Bruce Jenner looks great. The Jenner's the kids, they shaped their skulls. Really? Oh, they did. They tried to get their job down. What did the kids do? The Caitlin and all those? They went the little one.
The young, there's like photos of her before and after. It's like, wait, it's Caitlyn. Wait, Caitlyn's the girl that was a guy, Bruce. Okay, so Kendall. She's the hottest. She's the one dating the trample guy? Yeah. They used to an astro guy. Yeah. The people get surgery on their fucking jaws. That's wild. They get their jaws trimmed down to narrow their face. Didn't Dylan Mulvaney, your favorite Bud Light drinker, didn't that person do that? I think they got feminizing surgery.
Just similar. I don't know who that is. Oh. It's a kid. Kid Rock's arch enemy. Can I ask what happened with that thing? Because I never saw a single Bud Light can. I just heard about it all. I own one. You do really? Yeah. Totally feminization. Wait, you got one? I got one. With how? Where? From where? eBay. You have to order it. Oh, it was not cheap. But I think it's going to go way up. Oh, yeah.
This is the demise of the company. Someone from Coors is going to buy that for you for a million dollars. Bring it on, Coors. Everlasting gop stuff. My dogecoin. I mean, they've made everybody else make more money. And they've lost some insane amount, like something like in the 20 plus percent of sales, which is so crazy. And so what did they want to go all?
Space is on these candles. They sent one lady sent one. Yeah, Dylan Mulvaney Canned because they were like, oh, this is a viral person. It was just like a minor. Is it like sending you a Philly's Gillis shirt? Yes, Jersey. Yes. It was a year of being a woman. Here's your reward.
gender fluid. And so why does everyone carry that much? Because it's funny. It is funny. It's something to do. It's funny. If you order a Bud Light, people go, yeah, what is it, your period? Like, yeah, it's hard. It's hard out here. People are shot running. The bar owners are stopping. They won't carry it because people who want it and buy it are getting attacked. Jesus, that's why. Get it started. You order a Bud Light at a bar and someone's like, we're fucking gay. What are you doing when you go to bars now? Dude, I stand straight. Look at this.
No one's going to beat up somebody for supporting trans in New York. But on stage. On stage? Yeah. It's tough. Yeah. Bringing a Budline on stage, not even somebody's going to yell. It's going to be a subject. You've got to get the draft. This is the Texas edition.
Yeah, who's that? Nice. Yeah. Well, they're going to sell camo Bud lights now. Nah. That's smart. Turn around. Turn around, bro. Show a dead Arab club. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. You can't even see the dick. Yeah. Camo.
I like that. That's fun. I don't know. It's a non-thing, but it became a joke, and that's tough to overcome, marketing-wise. It's tough to get people to order a buttlight publicly. Now that I know the joke. You're going to get made fun of. It'll be forgotten in a month. No, no, no. Two months. It's going to be a while. Yeah, but you're no one on-member, really. You'll make a joke on stage and be like, what?
No, no, no. You guys are crazy. You guys are crazy. It's gonna hang in there for a long time. This is gonna be one of them cultural things. There's never been a brand that got hit like this before. They'll be back. This is a big deal. They'll do some titty titty shots. You think so? They're gonna get saved. Everyone's gonna remember that lady saying that we got to get away from the fratty sense of humor. She was fired. We got a more inclusive version fired. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's out.
Well, if you're going to be fired, it's real hard to argue with that one. She works at Comedy Central. I swear to God, though, they'll be saved this month. Every single company on Earth is going to do a gay commercial all of them. They've already done it. Miller Lite, Starbucks, Ford. Raptor did a gay commercial. I saw one of those. Raptor, yeah. The truck, the truck. The redo running tough. Yeah. And they did it because one polter showed up. They showed up. It's a really, like, farmery lesbians. One polter. Yeah. Do you let me some finish?
One poster did it because the one guy wrote a homophobic comment of one of the Bud Light Raptor Ranger trucks. And so they came up with this fucking whole campaign to counter that. This is it. That's a good looking truck. Very gay Raptor.
What is it literally like it says a hashtag very gay raptor scroll scroll up so I can see the top of the top the affords redefining tough rainbow raptor commercial goes viral sparks online backlash everything's bare one backlash but bare
Yeah, barely. When these journalists gonna like actually write the story and not like the small percentage backlight. I think that's the Raptor Ranger, isn't it? Is that the Raptor Ranger? See, look at truck. I think the Raptor Ranger is the smaller one and I think that's where somebody said something like
the rap. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Ranger Raptor. That's what it is. So someone said something. Ooh, it's the gay Raptor because it's the smaller Raptor. Some fucking morons. Sure. Here's right. And so they actually painted it in gay colors. That's big gay Raptor. I want to have a good time. Number one fan.
I always knew them trucks was queer. He got them. That's a pro now. No one's no one's not gonna buy raptors. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, raptors are cool. That is shit. That is shit. Yeah, I had one of those. They're awesome But why do these companies feel like they have to do it because to me it's just unoriginal I feel like they're doing it for a small percentage online like media for whatever and then people like oh let's get that and push that other place. I know the answer
What it's the women they're hiring yeah chicks from college. They're they they're like oh we need to hire women in our company Who's what are the who's going to college to study marketing the boys fucking college chicks? We'll get them in and then they right away. They just fucking but why does a woman want to work at it forward?
They did a marketing job. They took it anywhere. It's not like she's in the fucking factory. It's not like she loves Ford. People marketing people don't get a job at tampons because they love tampons. Yeah, we work at Geico don't love. Yeah, it's just we think about that because that's what we do. We do what we love. Ah, yeah, lucky. Yeah, lucky. Most people live and suck. Most people don't get drunk with their friends at work. This is a job. What we're doing is a job.
It's funny the difference between the people, the Venn diagram of dudes who get drunk at work with their friends. It's like awesome and then it's like, it's like, I feel like it's possible. Like, it's like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like,
But you're gonna say allegedly beat up. They said allegedly purchasing. Well, there's no there's no evidence and anything I'm reading that says that they even had Bud Light they did not they would mistakenly were Picked out of a crowd apparently those guys paint offers. Well, these have got silver painter on his face. I got to beat him up. Apparently he's out of his fucking mind. Oh, yeah, I thought he saw Bud Light. So this story went
Wow, this still, I think this is the only case I could find where this happened. It might have happened somewhere else. That was probably a douchebag that wanted to go beat up somebody for buying Bud Light. Nobody was buying it. So he found this next best thing, which is Canadians. It's like we beat up Indians at the 9-11. He found some Canadians like they'll buy Bud Light. Most of them blues Bud Light. Yeah, most of them blue.
Is that better? Actually, no sir. It's like, oh, fuck off. Most of it's strong though, right? Oh, yeah. Most of it's like nine percent. I don't know. Is it really? Yeah. It's a higher percentage of alcohol. Canadians drink. They go hard. They do. It's too old. Poor spirit of ice to all the people listening. Don't try to keep up with the Canadian or Shane Gillis. Yeah. Neither war. Neither war. I'm struggling. Those...
Mushrooms really really you feel some getting involved. Yeah, I don't feel anything yet. They're fully involved. Maybe I'll take a half. I feel like you did a stem. Oh, it stems like a stem cells eat the other half of the chocolate again. I'm just your waving arm and he ate it 165 170. I'll tell you back time. Yeah
Are you why you sizing them up? You want to go? I don't think that's like a way to go with them. Alcohol is more like weight. I don't think mushrooms are. Yeah. Mushrooms takes away. Oh, it's body mass. It doesn't matter. Oh, it is. I'm sure. Oh boy. I mean bloodstream, body mass. It's going, it's getting absorbed. It's going through your stomach. I feel like some guys bigger.
It hits them hard. Smaller hits them hard. Yeah, it feels different. But also, they're inconsistent. They're inconsistent. Oh, yeah. Intensity of psychedelic experience after taking psilocybin does not depend on body mass index. Studies sometimes. Interesting. So, was it dependent on childhood? I would assume that everything that you eat, like dosing, they have dosages that are different for children with medication because you eat it in a swallow and your body's different.
Yeah, I would imagine that would be listening to everything. No swallowing. I would imagine it would be the same with everything. It's certainly with alcohol. Oh, yeah. Yeah, alcohol for sure, right? Yeah, big guys take it. Yeah, they can take it. Yeah. Yeah, it's a weed. It's not though, right?
No, you ever meet a guy who can't get high? I can't. Oh, you mean not able to get high? Jamie can't get high off edibles. What? Do you have a pizza with it? Jamie has this crazy thing where he could eat like a thousand milligrams. Okay. You can't get a once. I mean, I get to say what didn't feel the thing off of that is.
That's a stretch, but like, I didn't feel what the fuck it was. A thousand milligrams, you should be done for a little duck. Yeah, you're obliterated. A thousand milligrams, like you don't know how to turn your car. It starts working after a thousand, I think, for me. He has got me once. He has got me once. He gave me a 25 milligram edible, and I was like, all right, this is farther than I want to go, but I'm doing your podcast, so like fine. Yeah. And then I, you ever have something nagging at you? And I was like, that fucking 25 was crooked. And then I went over to it and peeled it off, it was 250.
10 times a stretch. Oh, no. How do you feel? Are we on the moon? Yeah, he broke on the ledger. Yeah. Really? He broke on the ledger. Yeah. Oh, and legitimately was never the same person.
Yes. From that moment. Yeah, legitimately. What'd you do with that 250 after you, what'd you do the rest of the day? I mean, I was gone there. How long was the podcast? The podcast was two hours. Then he has this thing where it's like, I'm out. See you guys. You're like, wait. He just leaves you. Yeah.
I probably drove home, to be honest. I probably eventually drove home, but I might have stayed with Lee for a while. At least two hours, you're out of the void, and you're back on Earth after about two hours. No. That void is bad. I hate that void. At least those breath strips? That was the whole six hours at UFC. That's a half a one. What a nightmare. That's one thing I don't do ever. I never did the UFC high.
Ever you shouldn't know you should do it. I did not work it. You should come in the seat Oh, I've done that when it was in Austin. I was high as fuck. I want to see it in Austin was great nice I love going to watch the really best place for me to watch my favorite place to watch is the apex center
Where's that? The Apex Center is a small arena that the UFC built in Vegas for their Tuesday night contender series, the Dana series, and for the Ultimate Fighter. So it's a smaller cage. And there's only one cage? Yes. The cage is like 40% smaller. There's only 100 people in the fucking room. It's amazing. Like the pearl used to be? Dude, I saw a steep amiocia, it's like Francis and Gama. Wow. I remember that. It was crazy. It was during the pandemic.
the one he won or lost play the one he won it was a destruction it was the like the finest performance of Francis career because he was patient and just moving forward and just just a systematic destruction it's amazing fight but play it because it's crazy there's no one there
I was knowing that you don't hear an audience cheer and scream. It's cold nuts. Yeah, it's cold. Oh shit. Dude, I feel so lucky to have been there during like I always feel lucky. It's the only sport going on. But to be there during COVID, like I'm the only one here. Like it was just me and DC and Anik and the people that work the production. We're just sitting there like this is crazy. We're watching Justin Gaechee versus Tony Ferguson in an arena, an arena with no audience at all.
It's like watching some fucking musicians, uh, what was that? Oh, yeah. Dude, it was incredible. It was incredible. Because you could hear every impact. Wow. You could hear them breathing. You could hear them talking. They can hear you guys. They could hear me a hundred percent. They could hear, like, guys were chasing it. Yeah. You'd say, like, what he needs to do is put his left foot down. His head should be on the inside. Yeah. Like a fucking jiu-jitsu role. Exactly. Yeah. They were like, you guys gotta squat it. Like, listen. And he goes, yep, that would work. Listen, listen to this. He had the bad hair.
Listen, there's no audience. Look at the audience. These were weird times. There's no one there. This is the heavyweight championship of the world. It's in a small cage, which is terrible for Steve Bay. Why are they making a smaller cage? Because they do it for all the fights there. It's a smaller arena. That's not good. We had a smaller cage that we use for the ultimate fight. Why do they take a lot of the palm?
We had fights at the palm in the pearl at the palm, right? The palm casino. Why is that bad for Steve? Because you got to get away from that guy sometimes. Any time you can't move backwards because there's a cage there, you got to get away from that guy. Francis is so destructive. He's so terrifying.
It's still one in one though, right? They never did a tiebreaker. Right, this is, it's one in one, right? So this was, this was, this was, this was, you seeing Francis trained by extreme couture now. So he's with Eric Nixon, who's like a really intelligent, very, very good trainer. And he's got him very patient and he's not just charging in like he did in the first fight. He's like picking him apart. So he's chopping at his legs.
Well, I'm just talking there about the smaller octagon. Damn. Yeah, you can't be on mushrooms for this. This is a lot. Yeah. But to be there live, man, with three people in there, no crowd. It was fucking incredible. Yes. Deep Bay should have gotten a haircut. 30% smaller.
All right. Oh, yeah, boy is a tough guy dangerous and a fireman look at those He pays an animal. He's the most successful heavyweight champion of all time. You think yes 100% He goes he goes down the record books is the guy who defended the title the most ever He's a fucking animal. He's beaten everybody. Wow, but you know
You get time catches up to you. Wars catch up to you. And then Francis, who's a fucking monster. Francis is a monster. He was ready. He was ready. You knew that was coming. But now Francis has takedown defense. Look at this defense. Huge. And then Francis spins around and gets his back. Look at this. So this is Francis now that can grapple. And he takes deep aid down and beats him up. See Francis?
After the first deep a fight he really really really evolved he evolved every aspect of his game And he evolved his grappling and he beats zero-gun grappling with one fucking name and his knee was destroyed And he beat one of the most dangerous heavyweight contenders in zero-gun Francis like right now It's a big loss in my mind like him going over to the PFL it really bums me out. I understand it. I'm happy. He's gonna get paid. I'm happy He's gonna get the box
But I loved watching this guy fight in the UFC he was a fucking monster
He was so good, dude. And he is so good. Wow. It's going to be interesting. I just don't know if you're going to have him fight. So that, anyway, go to the end of it just like it's a girl gone, baby gone. That was a girl. Sorry. We're having fun. I'm on mushroom. If you were eating, here is the end of it. If you're eating nettables here, who would you rather fuck? Yeah, this is what's around now. This is the second round. This is where he stopped him.
Old Herb Dean. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Imagine comedians at coaches would be so much better. Are you better? Hey, there's some other guy you can go to. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She switched to that show, Joe. She should have gone that joke. Don't don't that lady's going to stop. You guys do that where they kind of hire people to work their material with them. Yeah, Chris Franco, he's did that. He would do his sets and have a group of guys that he paid to go material with. But I mean, on stage, if you could freeze a coach and be like, don't go into that now.
Get cleaner. Get cleaner. It's too dirty. That was all hard. That was all hard. I would never want that. You wouldn't want it, but it would help. It would help. Fuck it. It would help if you sucked. If one person told me, yeah. If you sucked, you couldn't figure out what to do. But also, the Chris Rock strategy is a very good idea. Do your sets, do your material, but they have guys that you can bounce stuff off of. Right, right. We kind of all do that anyway. Exactly. We were doing it last night where I was talking about the cult. Yeah. We do that all the time.
You know, I know a comedian. He's an arena guy. I'm not going to say who. He has 10 writers in the green room after a show. They all go in the green room. They punch him up. They work on stuff. And he still sucks. So I'm like, what's going on there? Well, imagine how bad he would suck if he didn't do that. Yeah, that's true. But he was good. That's the weird thing. He started out, you have to be good at the beginning to make it. You have to break through. We'll talk later. I want to know who this is. Oh, yeah. Can we process? No, I'll tell you later.
Let's pause it right now, pause it. Who is it? Fuck, dude, those things kicked in. Yeah, I think it's not a beautiful place to be though. Yeah, it was a lot. No, come on, dude. Don't do that. You were 45. Please don't do that. Isn't it a beautiful place to be, like, right there?
No. No, we got a shot. Are you doing this? No, let's go. Let's go. We know the owner is not going to fire us. He's still humiliate yourself. We're going to have fun. I'm going to have fun. I know I'm going to have fun. There's so many people in the lineup. We're not going to have fun. I started yawning. I was like, oh, boy. I'm high. That's what it gets in. The yawns are a good sign. And you could taste it in the tongue. You know, you're like, mmm, you've got that mushroom mountain. Boy.
They don't know where the yawns come from. I've looked that up. Really? Yeah, there's a bunch of theories. No one's got a successful, legitimate science answer. They can put a man in the room, but they can't figure out where the mushroom yawns come from. Not sure they did that. Did they? Did they? The yawn bloke of it. That would be my absolute favorite thing if we found out that was fake. You would love that. Fuck Bigfoot, fuck UFOs. Just tell me they never landed on the moon. No, we need that space program.
Yeah, we do. I hope it's real. You don't want them to have gone. I don't. Why? Because I think it's funny. He spent 15 years saying, I don't think we did. Also, we haven't been back. We haven't been back. Is that right? Why hasn't everyone been there? Not just haven't been back. We haven't even gone into space like that. We only gone to near Earth orbit. All the trips since the moon landings, all that has been inside of 300-plus miles. No other country either.
no one's interested in just a send probes there but also it's very dangerous and dangerous dangerous they didn't supposedly did it uh... seven times six successfully you know paul thirteen was the one that didn't make it russia when i went over this for a decade
Yeah, with a fine tooth. Come on. Watch all the videos. Oh, no. I watch all the film footage. Look at the shadows. Look at the shadows. Shady, shit. They jump. They come right down real fast. I'm glad I look around for those conversations. There's a lot of like weird, weird, weird radio. I've even heard a story. It's 75 times. So they move for I. That's why I get good at things. I obsess. I'm sorry. I'm going to get out of here. Get out of here. Get out. That one is my absolute favorite.
Aliens I think aliens over that honestly I know I think about it I want aliens to be real more than I want us to not have gone You think you're closer to the moon one though aliens definitely real no aliens are real, but they're in the kitchen Why did you see the the new footage? There's new footage of Jeremy Corbell leaked there was in 2021 there was all that covered over in Air Force Base
I'm taking this in, I can't. There's a lot going on here. Show the pictures of the UFO. These guys, 50 guys observed this thing. Corbel, dang, I'm kind of proud of everything. Corbel feeling.
The core bell chili. Hormel. Oh, there you go. I was like, am I missing that one? Is it a cultural reference? I'm not sure which James Corbell is like, because there's an article about him from recent, but I think he's one of these dirty guys. Just the just came out like a day ago. I don't know why it's on that house. Instagram. That's definitely it.
Cardi B shows up. So the lunch. Whatever this thing is it's they've got 50 different people. I think he actually released photos of it. Oh pull it up. Jamo. What about us? That's why it's fun. Fair. If you got a really good evidence then you would be all in. Fair. I don't want to be all in. I like to be like half in.
And look at that background. I think that's that's it. We see weaponized. That's the craft. That's it. So, okay, so it's a video. So this thing, what this thing is, they photographed it. It's half of a football field size and it was hovering over this military base and then it just disappeared, just jet it off. Interesting. Fifty people saw it. Fifty. Yeah. Who are these people? I'm some military guys.
Who are these people? It's the whole thing, it's the most exciting thing to me. It's the most fun. At all the stupid shit that I like to concentrate on. You think they would have been here right now. You're looking at the crap, but when the flares got close, the UFO vanished into thin air. So they shot flares at it. That's probably just a jet liner. That's the landing air. Why would it vanish into thin air? All the magic goes that way? I just went further away. They used magic. Oh, what? Never even thought of the fucking magic. CNN, do not run with that.
That's nothing. I mean vanished into thin air. You're dreaming. It probably just shot off at the same rate of speed like they always do. Yeah. That's what they do. People would love a full invasion. How about us? We go camping, we're doing mushrooms, aliens land. I'm dying for a probe, put it up my ass.
I don't think they do that anymore. I think that's like corded phones. I think they got everything they were looking for. And we have MRIs. Why the fuck does an alien need a finger in your ass? Good point. Good point. Glad just for fun. True. Something to go tell the friends back at the farm. Yeah, all those guys that said they got probed were definitely just sexually assaulted. Yeah. Very repressed memories. Yeah. It is the fucking alien got in there. Some fucking lumberjunkle alien in the forest. And then left you right in front of that gay bar. Yeah. And they're fucking crazy. Yeah. Because some of the bitches somehow they're connected.
This guy was on my podcast. Yeah, this is the dude Travis Walton from that movie fire in the sky. Did you ever see that movie fire in the air? It looks like the my story that guy. There's a bunch of witnesses. They saw him get hit with some sort of a beam. They saw a craft land. They threw loggers.
This guy jumps out. He's a crazy fucking logger dude jumps out with the fuck is it goes running towards it and he gets hit with his beam He falls down. They drive off. They they get like You know half a mile down the road and they're screaming at each other. We got to go back We got to go back so they turn around and go back they go back to the spot and he's gone
Five days later, the guy shows up with this crazy story. He shows up, it makes a phone call, he calls the police, calls his family. He said he got abducted by that craft and they fixed him. They said his body was broken from the beam and they took him aboard and he had these encounters and there was a movie called Fire in the Sky. That's a, the movies obviously, you know, they took a lot of liberties with the story. Wow.
Was it D.B. Cooper? Is that the guy who's in it? Oh, I know that guy. That's a different guy. Yeah, D.B. Sweeney. Whoa! He's the guy that jumped out of the money. They don't know that guy's badass. That guy's a nun. That guy fucking died of me.
That guy, two broken legs he was eaten by dogs. He jumped down in the middle of the woods with no parachute. He survived, I guess. The craziest is the cows that lose all their skin. Oh, no, no, no. You're talking about cattle mutilation. Yes. Yeah, they don't know what the fuck that is. No explanation. Turn him inside out. They cut organs out with lace, like laser precision. They removed the blood from the body with no stupid method. That's a stupid cow. No, there's weird stuff that does happen to cows.
What about those images appear in the field? Yeah, what the fuck is that? No one's talking about that anymore. A Cropolis. I think people gave up on that. I think people gave up on that. I think people gave up on the landscape. Yeah, they gave up on uncles.
I don't think it's dudes are doing it. Well, definitely dudes were doing it. Yeah, but also some of them were a little more interesting. Yes, some of them. There was also they were folded into place in a way where it seemed like a great deal of energy was in the like the hostel, the stock, and they had blown out.
No, no, no. There's some of them that they were trying to say. Like they had, there was a way that you could do these things, but it's very clear when someone did it that way. Wow. Yeah. Crop circles were made by a super natural person named Doug and Dave, intricate patterns carved in fields across England in the 1980s were of viral phenomena long before the interest fed us such prankster curiosities daily. Yeah. What these, the people that believe that some of them are, they have something else to them. But what about the cows?
because they would pull the blood out. This is a different thing. Not one drop of blood. Cattle mystery mutilator. Not one drop of blood. That's the weird one. It sounds like faulty reporting when they found the cow. Yeah, I think that's more likely to have done things. People have done things. Each of the body parts precisely removed. Someone has cut the organs out of that cow. Now if it was a person that's doing it, but the way they're doing it is very unusual. No blood, come on.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know why the fuck aliens would do that. It doesn't make any sense. But it does make sense. What do you mean? They're weird. They want stuff. They want to learn. A lot of people lean towards aliens. Well, why would they do that? The same reason that fucking alien would. But why no blood? You want the cow blood? Why would an alien want cow blood? To learn about our creepy cows? Yes! They got to start somewhere. It started getting us like butterflies. Imagine if it was demons, but they couldn't quite. They couldn't quite.
They didn't have the authority to go after people yet So that they let them have a few cows every now and then just to keep it out They lived a thousands of years these demons and they have to really just want to torture They got a face and got them and suck their blood out and leave their fucking little mausics carcasses. That's a good club here
Yeah, we're blaming it on aliens when it's demons. It's just demons. Demons practicing. They're like, OK, go take a cow. You fucking freaks. You have to be invasion. They just go practice for what they're going to do to us. Once they get the green light, once people are like too bad. Excuseably evil. Yeah. Once there's just like, they're like, yeah, every country is rolled by evil dictators.
Well, it's probably that close. That close. A little more sodomy. A little more than that. And then unleashed. Then we find out that Satan's real. Sodom and Gomorrah. We're going to get some good comments after this one. The Satan is real people. Going right to reports of catamutulations began in 1973, mostly in the West and Midwest. It was often small-scale ranchers who reported them when local law enforcement agencies investigated. They frequently found that the cow's ears, eyes, rectums, and sex organs had been cut away with surgical precision.