Logo

193. “I’ve filed for bankruptcy twice. Will I ever stop spending?” (Part 1)

en

January 28, 2025

TLDR: LaKiesha (38) and James (45), struggling with chronic overspending, have moved in together despite complicated financial pasts; bankruptcy, lack of savings, and differences in spending habits and values challenge their relationship.

1Ask AI

In this episode, Ramit Sethi explores the complex financial dynamics between LaKiesha and James, who are entrenched in a cycle of overspending and debt, including previous bankruptcies. Their journey reflects common struggles many couples face regarding money management.

Key Themes Discussed

The Cycle of Overspending

  • Defining Wants vs. Needs: LaKiesha and James are caught in a pattern of confusing wants as needs, leading to transactional spending driven by immediate gratification rather than thoughtful considerations for the future.
  • Immediate Gratification: Both are often unaware of the long-term consequences of their spontaneous purchases. LaKiesha mentions enjoying money now instead of planning for future security.
  • Impact on Future Planning: Their financial habits have resulted in significant debt and limited savings, demonstrating a lack of financial foresight.

Complicated Financial Histories

  • Financial Baggage: LaKiesha's previous bankruptcies and James's low asset accumulation contribute to their mistrust and tension in their relationship.
  • Divergent Upbringings: Their different upbringings affect their financial views—James as a cautious spender conditioned by his upbringing, and LaKiesha driven by impulses stemming from her childhood experiences at home.

The Conscious Spending Plan (CSP)

  • CSP Overview: Ramit introduces the concept of the Conscious Spending Plan, breaking down LaKiesha and James's income, assets, debts, and spending habits.
  • Debt Analysis: Combined, they owe over $190,000 in debt, with LaKiesha's debt far exceeding James's. This stark reality pressures them to confront their poor spending choices.
  • Budgeting Realities: Their fixed costs take up a large percentage of their incomes, leaving little room for savings or investment. LaKiesha's inability to correctly identify and reconcile her spending habits highlights a significant area for growth.

Cultural and Psychological Impacts on Spending

  • Wired Perspectives: Both LaKiesha and James struggle with deep-seated beliefs about money learned from their upbringing.
  • Psychological Triggers: LaKiesha recalls her childhood experiences and how those shaped her current relationship with money, reflecting patterns of guilt-free spending, which aren’t sustainable.
  • Accountability in Relationships: LaKiesha seeks accountability whereas James plays the role of the 'voice of reason,' creating a dynamic reminiscent of parental guidance versus childhood rebellion.

Insights and Takeaways

  • Importance of Understanding Financial Behavior: The episode emphasizes the need to recognize one's financial patterns and their origins to create change.
  • The Power of Discussion: Open conversations about financial habits within relationships can foster understanding, build trust, and pave the way for cooperative budgeting.
  • Potential for Growth: Ramit conveys hope that both LaKiesha and James can alter their financial futures by shifting their mindset from spending for today to planning for tomorrow.

Moving Forward

LaKiesha and James are encouraged to confront their financial behaviors, establish clearer communication, and actively work towards building a financially secure future together. The second part of their discussion will delve deeper into practical changes they can implement.


Through this analysis, the episode extends powerful insights into the necessity of accountability, perspective shifts on spending, and the influence of early experiences on current financial habits, providing a reflective narrative for listeners grappling with similar challenges.

Was this summary helpful?

Recent Episodes

195. “Her socks have holes but she's too cheap to buy new ones”

195. “Her socks have holes but she's too cheap to buy new ones”

I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Matt (34) and Eliza (32) have spent years prioritizing investments, setting themselves up for a secure retirement—but now, they struggle to enjoy spending money. Matt deprives himself when they go out, while Eliza avoids spending altogether. Their extreme frugality is keeping them from living the full life they could, and with their first baby on the way, the pressure is mounting. Can they shift their money mindset, find balance, and start truly living their Rich Life? This episode is brought to you by: goodr | If you’re looking for new sunglasses, goodr is giving Money for Couples listeners free shipping. Go to https://goodr.com/RAMIT and use code RAMIT for free shipping on your first pair of goodr sunglasses.  Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit. Wildgrain | Get $30 off the first box — PLUS free Croissants in every box at https://wildgrain.com/ramit. Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. Links mentioned in this episode • I’m looking for couples to work with on my podcast in 2025; please apply at iwt.com/apply • Order my new book: Money for Couples Connect with Ramit • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

February 11, 2025

194. “$0 savings, $0 investments. Is it too late for us?” (Part 2)

194. “$0 savings, $0 investments. Is it too late for us?” (Part 2)

I Will Teach You To Be Rich

On last week’s episode, we met 38-year-old LaKiesha and 45-year-old James, a couple struggling to get on the same page financially. With no savings, no investments, and deep-rooted money fears, they’re stuck in a cycle of mindless spending. Today, we’re digging back into their CSP—and the numbers are more shocking than they expected. Can they finally break old habits and build their Rich Life together? This episode is brought to you by: Rocket Money | Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to https://rocketmoney.com/ramit Netsuite | Get visibility to everything in your business in one place. Sign up and defer payments, with no interest, for six months at https://iwt.com/netsuite Thrive Market | Head to https://thrivemarket.com/RAMIT and get 30% off your first order—plus a FREE $60 gift! Trust & Will | Secure your assets and protect your loved ones. Get 10% off plus free shipping on your estate plan documents by visiting https://trustandwill.com/ramit Next Level Wardrobe | Take their free styling quiz and elevate your style at https://nextlevelwardrobe.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • Get my new book: Money for Couples • Episode 193. “I’ve filed for bankruptcy twice. Will I ever stop spending?” (Part 1) Connect with Ramit • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

February 04, 2025

192. “We spend 98% of what we make—Where is it all going?”

192. “We spend 98% of what we make—Where is it all going?”

I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Couple Justin and Deepika seek advice to escape paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle, identify money-wasting habits, reduce credit card debt, foster a shared financial vision, and grow Justin's side hustle with committed partners.

January 21, 2025

191. “My wife doesn't respect me because she earns 5x more”

191. “My wife doesn't respect me because she earns 5x more”

I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Couple Carrie and Dillon struggle financially due to income disparity, causing tension; they aim to resolve Carrie's money anxiety for a harmonious future.

January 14, 2025

AI

Ask this episodeAI Anything

I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Hi! You're chatting with I Will Teach You To Be Rich AI.

I can answer your questions from this episode and play episode clips relevant to your question.

You can ask a direct question or get started with below questions -

Sign In to save message history