187 - How The VA Failed This Disabled Military Veteran ft. Tejano Space Cowboy | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 187

I began to put my own tourniquet on. I did all this myself. Antonio Stark over here. Dude, how many arms do you have? One. They're thinking I'm gonna die and I'm like yelling at them. You're still a dickhead, Jake.

Got pop it pop. Are you a drinker? Oh, I do. Oh, I'm so sorry. Wait till we come down. I'm so sorry. Dammit, military guys. God. You lose one arm, you think you're special. God damn you, buddy. He told me to. All right. We're ready to pop us off. Three, two, one. Ah.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the unsubscribe podcast. I'm joined today by Eli double tap space Tiana. Right. That we wanted to meet and introduce. Yeah, it's a hono space cowboy to honor space Kelly. Sorry. I got that. I messed it up again. Brandon Herrera, myself, Donald operator. Thank you for joining in.

It's so good to see you dude. Okay, I we met in the past and I completely we uh sent I think show sent is like hey We should have Sebastian. I was like, yeah, I was like looking I was like I fuck I swear I have met this dude before and I think the first time we met I made a joke or something and then you're like, hey, you didn't know me at that point. So you're like, oh, he's just an asshole That was at the old uh the ranch

The cooking show, we were at the cooking show. I wanna say it was the cooking show. I was with Logan, because Logan was in 3.5, and I just remember, it was like Elle's content house, and I had a different arm at that time. It was a really gigantic arm, so it was really hard to be low-key in that arm. It was like fucking the size of a leg. Dude, how many arms do you have?

I have one. Yeah, I have one. It does get confusing. Because you're like, how many arms do you have real arms? I was like, to me, I was like, this is a real arm to me. But I have two prosthetics, three prosthetics, just based on which ones actually work right now. But that one.

i have it it's it's like uh it was like decommissioned but um i i don't consider it like uh in use because it was so huge it's really hard for me to move around with and stuff like that because if you remember it was just it was gigantic it looked like something from a fucking anime because it was so big it was the mark one version of like iron man

Yeah, it was a gigantic arm. And it was like the first time that the VA in San Antonio had ever built a prosthetic, an upper extremity prosthetic. So they were terrible at it. And that's that kind of began my journey on like getting into prosthetics myself, because I didn't know that not everybody could build prosthetics, upper extremity prosthetics, at the level of like the best people. It's crazy. The VA is definitely terrible. We have the money. We just don't want to spend that much of it.

Yeah, it's go on. That's a whole fuck. I was just going to say with the VA, it's like, oh, hey, yo, you saw the joke face. It's not as much of a joke as it's just sad. It's like, oh, we'd rather spend it on administrative staff, bulletins, and talk about how to use pronouns on the high level in the VA. Yeah, your arm, you don't really need that, but we really need these bulletins, you know? Yeah, like, I fucking, I would, I really, really love to talk about the VA at some point, but I'm sure we'll get there, brother. I feel bad.

I feel bad talking about my situation, but this arm would not have come if the VA wasn't doing such a bad job, because this guy who built this arm heard about my story and heard about my difficulty getting prosthetics from the VA. No background in prosthetics, and he built this for me from scratch. His background was aero space.

And so yeah, the VA, like I always tell people like, oh, the VA guy, because I get a lot of that. Like the VA media is like, there's nothing to do with the VA. The VA did not do this. This is not a, it's a different level of prosthetic, but I'm just noticing things like the Picatinny on the thumb.

Yeah, I put that on there. I got that from fucking people commented on TikTok for me to put a rail on there. And I was like, for a flashlight. And I had done that before lower, but I didn't do this. I never want to insult the guy who made this work. I mean, I did this. He did all this other stuff. I did this because I wanted to take a bite out of this notch right here because

I'm a dad and whenever I carry my son, this notch would dig into his back. So I just wanted to soften up that notch and you can see I tried to build up. But put a little peck unit on it. So if anybody pisses you off, you just blind them with IR. I do put it on there. Let's rewind. So tell your story. I know you probably a bunch of people have heard it through your social media.

But what, what year did you enlist? Um, I, I, I joined the Marine Corps in 2007. Hey, I am your, you're an OG. You did search time then. Um, no, no, no, no, you're Afghan, Afghanistan. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. Yeah. Um, I think I always say Iraq was a little bit before my time.

I joined the Marine Corps to go to Afghanistan and specifically the Taliban. I still think they're terrible people. And you kind of have to educate people about why they're terrible people to explain what they're doing to women. Yeah, I joined in 2007 specifically for the Taliban. And I was wounded in the surge in 2010 and saying in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. It was an ID blast. Yeah, yeah. Stepping into a canal.

And I actually don't talk about it that much on my social media just because I, you know, it's something that you like, um...

I mean, you know, like you just don't talk about it because it's like for me It just recently passed and to commemorate like whenever I talk about it like yeah, we I lot you know I lost my squad leader and As it gets further away gets easier to talk about but like you know whenever you have that kind of thing It's not something that I talk about just because we lost so many people there You know Dark horse and we lost so many Marines that I feel like I don't like talking about it's because like it's kind of like

to people because you don't want to take them to a dark place. Civilians, you know what I mean? A lot of my stuff is like kids are asking questions and stuff like that. And so like I'll explain to them like you know Avengers and stuff like you don't take them to like I don't know they don't want to know you know all the darkness but specifically like to me you know whenever I was wounded I was a rifle team leader and stepping into a canal. My squad leader took the brunt of the blast. It was a submerged IED

And, like, all of the shit tied to that. Whenever I think about when I was wounded, I don't think about me, I think about, you know, a little girl who doesn't have a dad, you know, so that's something that I think.

Later on got easier for me to talk about. But people were like, you know, why I didn't always talk about it was because like I'm so close to with all my goals to our families that it's not something that I was like, you know, like, you know, I didn't feel appropriate because they're because to them, they're like, you know, you're whenever you're first you're inundated with family members asking you questions about like their son's last moments and stuff like that. So you kind of feel like it's not just my story. It's that hard one because it's going through those

Experiencing yourself and then how do you handle that? Ask yourself the questions of how do I honor them and then it is that older man It's like the world war two vets you always hear it's like oh grandpa wouldn't talk about his war stories You have some that talk about it with the more ease and then some people like yourself where you're like ah

It's not my story to tell, but as time goes on, you're healing through it. You're coming to terms with it, and now you're like, okay, I can start talking about this, or explain it. It was a different generation too, like my grandfather would just drink and beat my grandma. So spending time with Vietnam veterans really made me feel like, oh, I'm doing okay. You know, because I'm like, they're like, you know, I got no POWs. You were like, you know, they went to fucking prison. My dad was a Vietnam veteran.

And he was drafting the Vietnam. And I didn't know anything about his military service. And one of the reasons I joined the Marine Corps was that I've resented how quiet he was. He didn't speak at all. And then now, as an adult, later on in life, I understood, like, oh, they were spit on. And so they had this shame and stuff like that. But talking to Vietnam veterans, so many of them, especially the combat veterans,

They spent time in prison bars fights and stuff like that. And I know that from my own people. We have some of those people too. But yeah, it definitely is a different generation. What was when coming to terms with that now that you're saying, hey, later in life, it is becoming easier to talk about what was one of those turning points for you to make that possible?

For me becoming a dad becoming a dad really really changed like because I think before I was so prideful I was so I Especially talking to my gold star family is like I didn't tell them everything that happened until My son was born my son was born and I was like oh you should really know every detail about your son. What was the was the time gap there? My son's two two years old so about like it like I mean like

eight, 10 years, because even in college, went to UAW and I remember like taking pride in my professors not knowing that I was military, because that arm was so, it was like, it's got that, it's got that, got that on it, it's like a Mexican sugar school. And I just remember one time, her telling my professor that I had to like miss something for a VA appointment and she was like, VA, what's that? And I was like,

Oh, it's like, you can't get out of those. And she was like, what's the VA? And I was like, it's the veterans, whatever hospital. And she was like, I didn't even know you were a veteran. You had a college professor ask you what the VA is. Yeah, I mean, she's a fucking woman.

The, it's a private school, you know, nothing UAW is a very rich, rich, rich, rich, good, great education. But I think that like, um, I, you know, she wasn't originally from America too. Um, so, you know, I, you, you're, I guess I'm always surprised by, um, like people who don't have exposure to academics. Yeah, academia, academia is something, you know, that's, um, people who lived a very insulated life.

Yeah, they're all, they're all in very, it's, it is a private school. So it was, um, this poor Hispanic just born with only one arm. Yeah, that's what she thought. And I was like, I was like, what? Let me guess a lawnmower accident. Yeah. No, that weed eater just popped back up and she brings it back with the weed eater attached. I got you this.

By the way, I'm free on Thursdays. What's your schedule? Yeah, I did break my mother arm mowing the lawn and that was something that it was funny like everybody's like, why are you mowing your own lawn? And I'm like I'm fucking Mexican like I don't know This is the first time I'm a minority

Three browns in white. Maple LaRaza, am I right?

Yeah, so man, so you got you're like, okay, we going through that start opening up to your kiddos Did you open up when did you start talking about it? I'm assuming just with your friends if you did speak about the incident and then around the new friends was it ever Yeah, so new friends is something that's like, you know, it's it's really it's it's a weird space because like I I mean like a lot of my friends weren't veterans and stuff like that so I

I just didn't feel like inclined to you know like a lot of my life. I would just lie I just like there's people in this world who believe like I was I wasn't Shark attack victim motorcycle. I would just lie just like avoid the conversations for hilarious

Yeah, I mean, because it's like, you know, it just makes it easier for not have to negotiate, like, all those emotions. So it's just easier to lie. I swear to God, I've told people that, you know, for the longest time, like, I always say, whenever I was in the hospital, I used to have an arm that I had a shark on it, and it puts shark attack victims that work on it.

For real, until I, no, and that one famous surfer came by, the therapy center and all of the occupational therapists and physical therapists were like trying to- The sole sole surfer? Yeah, they're trying to push her my way. You need to talk to this one guy, you see his arm, and I was like, I was so scared. So after that, I was like, no, they're a real shark attack victim, so you can't like, and I think one of them hit me up on Instagram, like there's an Australian shark attack victim,

But so I stopped using that specific issue. Sharkborne IED. Yeah, because I used to tell people that when you're just the funniest thing. And then she just comes up. It's like her like the make a wish kind of thing. She's like, oh, well, what kind of shark were yours?

Taliban. Middle Eastern sharks. I don't know. Middle Eastern sand shark. I think there's sharks in the sea somewhere, something like that. Did you just discover a new slur? Sand shark? Well, I was I was wounded in the water. So it was like it was actually all right. That's very funny. Yeah, I was like it was just something that was a natural because I did have a fear of the water when I first got into it because I was drowning. Yeah, I was drowning for like

What was like five minutes because they didn't know I was injured because I was a team leader and so everybody you know Everybody was like confused and my squad leader obviously got injured too. So everybody's confused So that Mexican arm I call that it's a it was an ode to we support le and we support Liz the Aztec God of War and the Sun and so it's blue and so whenever I was wounded I was drowning and

All I could see was the sun and it was so beautiful. You know in Afghanistan like you're like some parts of the middle of the desert for me was all green and So I would open my eyes and it was like super beautiful water and the sun kept poking in my eyes and So I thought it was dreaming because it was so beautiful and like I think about that Still to this day thing about the beauty of it and that the sun kept flickering in my eyes and it wouldn't let me go to sleep and

And then I realized that I was drowning because I saw blood flow and I didn't know I was missing my arm, so I was trying to grab to stop drowning. But I was drowning for so long that I'm like,

Even after I got out of the surgeries and stuff like that, I was in the hospital for like three years. After everything, my therapist told me at the time that the things that I was scared of, I was scared of the water, but I couldn't even close my eyes in the shower because I was so scared of drowning. I had no idea that was a drowning thing until a therapist explained to me, I would get bloodshot eyes from not being able to close them in the shower because I was so scared.

of closing my eyes in the water. It's entirely subconscious or like. Yeah, I had no idea it was a thing until he brought it up. And I was like, yeah, I do get blood. My eyes will go bloodshot just from refusing to close them just even in the shower. But I was born in San Antonio. So like I couldn't get close to the river walk. And water was a real big issue for me. And then like I conquered it later. I did triathlons and stuff like that. So I mean, very specifically, I mean, it was the idea was a canal.

Yeah, it was, I mean, it was wild by itself. Yeah, like these mother truckers. I've never even heard of that. Yeah, they're so tricky because, you know, like, because you were in Afghanistan, right? Iraq. Iraq. Okay. Well, because, but you're like, I think that a lot of people, I'll take, I'll take it as an insult when people, I've had people, I think sometimes trying to pay a compliment to Americans.

they'll insult the Taliban's fighting capacity and I was like no like don't do that you take away from him how hard it was to fight them when you do that because they were so intelligent and like complex ambushes but like so that they would put it in in the water because like they'll be like you know we were we were dismounted everywhere and singing

And so they would put them in the water because like they're like the Marines are not like these other guys. They will cross the worst possible terrain possible to avoid IEDs. So like we would never take roads, never take open spaces in theory. That's what you're trained to do.

And so they would submerge the IEDs in the water because they're like, these guys are going to cross and go in the worst possible terrain possible. So towards the end of the war, it was like the opposite go on roads because they learned from your little tricks of like, you know, just cutting through these corn veals and like going in and out of the canal in the worst possible area. And that's where they started to put the IEDs because, you know, like you wouldn't think that when I tell people that I was

fully submerged in water when I got hit, they're like, you know, how? And I'm like, oh, yeah, they're, they're, they're really, really tricky, not just with their IADs, but also like their tactics. Yeah, they're super. Yeah. I just get a little bit insulted when people are like, they're stupid, they're cowards. I was like, no, they're, they, they defeated, you know, I don't think they'd beat up, you know, we killed 600 Taliban and they killed 30 of us. Those, when you put the number, you just quantify it like that. It's amazing what happens when you have no rules to fight with.

Yeah, there's no, that's what people don't understand. Like we could have just destroyed leveled that place. And I think that sometimes whenever I talk to people, especially internationally, like they don't realize that the infantry exists because America is putting a human toll on the war. And it's like we could just level these cities, but we didn't do that. We put men with kids and women with families on the lines so we could mitigate casualties instead of just dropping 500 pound bombs on there.

Look at the difference between America going into Afghanistan versus when Russia went into Afghanistan. Yeah, there's just massive, massive gap there. Yeah, we just don't do that anymore. And as you're saying, it is like to pay testament to that fighting force, Iraq, Afghanistan.

It's always that. It's like, what would you guys like the US? What would you do if you had to fight the US military? There's nothing you can do. I was like, I assure you, they did quite fine with AKs and IEDs. They created what? $12 trillion war?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just because they had a case and that they didn't need air support They didn't need any of that stuff. It's like okay. We just use guerrilla tactics and yeah, there are willingness like cuz like I mean my biggest thing is like trade dealing with the the injured civilians their willingness to put civilians like a Endanger is something that it's like

Um, talking to some veterans from that area, I still to this day, like, because we lost 111. There was 111 Royal Marines killed and sang in before we got there and replaced them. And it was just like, um, you know, you're operating under, you know, we have Geneva, NATO has their own rules or whatever.

And so people people like don't realize like that's why we took so many casualties if we were just willing to do the things they were willing to do it would be it would be you know way less casualties and I think that like whenever I talk by like if there's good guys and bad guys like obviously everybody's bad in war, but there is levels to you know like what they're willing to do versus what we're willing to do. It's not like we didn't have the capability. Yeah, we did we had we had what they didn't have which is restraint. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that that's something that I like especially now that the Taliban's taken over I think about that like I think because in a Malala he that's he's experienced that with that his business was based out he was helping putting kids through females through college little girls through schooling and all in Afghanistan with the combat flip-flops and then just

Shut down instantly. Yeah, it's so sad. I remember talk I talked to a prosecutor a couple weeks ago the Harris County DA DA for Houston and she was a she ran a foundation where she she Took female legal experts and train them as an American prosecutor about the law systems So training them to be prosecutors in Afghanistan women specifically. She's a female

DA and she was so sad when the Taliban took over like she she was able to get one person out one of her female prosecutors that she trained up but it's like people have no idea that they ripped them out of Congress they were elected congressional members you know ripped them out and then much less you know like two months ago they ripped them out of being able to leave home without a man

And so just an idea, it made me so sad. That's why I still talk positively about putting as much hurt on them as possible because people don't know what rights they took away from women and specifically that DA hearing her talk about it and getting female academics out. Because before they said they weren't going to take them out of Congress or whatever, then they did, then they took them out of them.

Being able to leave their houses without a male escort. The West has this natural inclination to assume that every culture across the planet is just like us. They're just like us, but slightly different. And they really don't have any idea just how wide that gap can be. I'm a ghost.

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It's the idea of not understanding what evil is. You have like, oh, someone like cut in line. That's their... To them, that's not even evil, though. It's normal. Like, they don't have any other concept. Yeah, they're like, oh, well, this. But they can't conceptualize the idea of just like, people over there will just kill you to kill you. And then it's just part of everyday life. Like, the idea of human life having value. We understand that.

They're places that is not that is not a thing. They don't carry it. It's like you have Brazil or some South American countries where it's like kill you just to steal an iPhone. It's like a less educated GTA server. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It is a little bit like that. I mean, it sucks, but like I feel like I'll tell people like that America's got a lot of issues, but one of the biggest things we have is like

I in theory the rule of law and and that those laws tend to be way more liberal than other places I Love it here. I ain't switching this is my huh. Oh, so you got blown up. You had a how high was

I'm a transhumeral amputee, so I'm above the elbow. I've a really trans what was that? Transhumeral. So right at the delt. So one of the reasons that I think that I was so I became such a big prosthetic advocate is because there's only there's less than 400 combat wounded upper extremity amputations from Iraq and Afghanistan total.

So just crazy people don't realize because it's just too high of an injury. Yeah. Yeah, so people don't typically survive higher higher because anytime you get closer to The upper body you get closer to the heart arteries and the neck that's harder shit to survive Yeah, yeah, so anytime you get closer to the neck and heart It's a lower survival rate and then even even modern wars and in like the Ukraine they have a lot more amputees because that you know, they're at war and

In their country, they have hospitals and ambulances that can drive to and from there. They still have an issue with surviving high blasts and gunshots and stuff like that. But yeah, so I was above the elbow and I think that's why it became such a big prosthetic advocate because a lot of people are below the elbow. There's hundreds of below the elbow.

And a lot of them will use their elbow to do things. So you'll see them, like a lot of people bring up Leroy Petri. He's missing his arm. He's missing his hand. And so they won't rely on their prosthetic so much because they'll use their elbow to do things. And so because I have such a high amputation, it's so I have a useless limb because it's so short and it's so painful to do things with. So without a prosthetic, I'm kind of like,

Um, very disabled. Do you still find yourself like your natural inclination being to try to use the fan of the lens, like forever? Uh, Phantom Limb. Yeah, the Phantom Limb, or for however high it is, like to try, like you, you naturally want to do that, or is it just non non starter?

Um, I do. I don't, I don't, it's hard to tell if I've trained or not. Cause since I was born with two arms, I do think about, I, this arm has so many injuries. I have a nerve injury on this side and I broke my wrist and I'm missing the outside two ligaments. So I do force myself to, cause a lot of people, specific questions that I'll get is like, why I do things a certain way with weightlifting and shooting and.

It's because I was like They think I'm like why don't I just overuse this or more? But I have to explain like you feel bad like explaining all your injuries and I'm like actually I'm missing out these two outside ligaments so stabilizing things like shooting Is it's not something that I can't it's not I can't out train that I'm just missing the ligaments and so this I forced myself to use in part because the Marine Corps spent a lot of money on My recovery so one like the arms that the other arm that I brought

It has this thing called target muscle reinnervation. And so they grafted my ulnar and medial nerves, which are the nerves that control your hand opening clothes to my bicep and tricep heads. So with that hand, I think hand opening clothes to open it.

Yeah, so that that made it so why I thought it was more widely I thought that surgery was more widely done until I got more into the prosthetic field and Traveling and I was like, okay, so that's a still a very rare surgery at the time it was experimental But so I think hand opening clothes and it opened and closes the hand so it does make it so I It does feel like

prosthetics aren't caught up to the level of, of the level of, um, advances of that surgery. It's kind of like, uh, in their reasoning was to future proof me, uh, for prosthetics. And so why, why do you think that is? What do you think that hasn't caught up yet?

Well, it's an expensive surgery. I remember whenever I got it, all of these surgeons asked to be able to watch that surgery specifically so they could teach it. And I think that one thing is survival. And then hospitals, so less than 7% of amputees are upper extremity. And so that would be specific to the trauma of losing an arm.

So most amputees are leg amputees. So that's like one of the reasons why people are like, why is this arm looks so different. There's just so many more leg amputees that you're like, you know, so many guys that are missing their legs. A lot of people. And it's like, I get this a lot is like, why is your arm metal? And I was like, well, you don't ask that to like people because all legs are metal, because they're all to that level where they can be used in the Paralympics. And they're all tough. And so it's just that.

legs are more finished products. So it's just that surgery is so niche that it's like, I remember talking about it in the Ukraine and they have, you know, 10 times more amputees than we have from Iraq and Afghanistan. And that's just because they have a higher survival, survivability because they learned from us the tourniquet thing that happened halfway through the war. That and they're more on like level pure warfare.

Yeah, they have, you know, quick access to hospitals. They're literally, you know, ambulatory as in driving them to the, you know, I was like, um, just the casually of the casualty count though per day is wild for that war. Like, I don't think people realize like just how big of a deal that was. Like people kind of knew in the beginning, but then they forgot, but like the amount of casualties in the, the Ukraine, Russian wars is, I mean, it's, it's crazy high compared to even the GWOT.

Yeah, that's what I would say a lot of people don't know that and I didn't know that until I got I didn't know that so I didn't know that until I got there I went there specifically with the protest foundation To talk about this arm because they wanted to be able to use it to fucking fight the Russians and I thought it was like I kind of like a Sitting joke was like because everybody calls me the winter soldier and I was like the Mexican winter soldier and I was like let me go to the Ukraine just the fucking rub it in

I went there and I'm like, there's so much technology that's going to come out of that war. I mean, there already is. Yeah. But to scare companies, the companies that are coming out of there, there's a couple of advanced cross-site companies that I got to visit there. One of them is Esper. I'll always talk about them because they make a metal hand and they're barely getting available in the U.S.

Yeah, they have so many more amputees that I think that a lot of the prosthetic technology advancements will come out of there. Unfortunately, if Americans don't do it, just because, you know, it's a lot of necessity. Yeah, just necessity. It's just necessity. Yeah. That's wild. Getting that. Oh, Cody, you have a question?

No. Oh, okay. No, I'm just, I'm, I'm enthralled by it. Dude, that's what I'm just listening. It's wild. So with yours, um, you, as you're saying, upper limbs are a lot rarer to survive or during the GWI and

You got, I assume, super lucky for the blast to close the wound and then they turn and get it right after. Well, no, I began to put my own turn and get on. You know what's so funny? It's that train and you're like, oh, that's what's in my fucking mouth. My boys later on were like, my boy at my saw gunner was like, he was like, is insane because like you cried out this canal and you're just bleeding out and you started yelling at us to get on the line and, you know, lay down, cover fire. And I was like thinking to myself like,

you know that stuff that I don't remember I was a memory dude I weigh I weigh like 200 pounds and I think I weighed like 189 at the time and when they measured me I weighed 165 I lost so much blood and I was thinking to myself I was like I must like I felt so weak and so cold

that I was like, you know, you don't remember till years later, like things and I, you know, you piece together what happened from different people. And he was like, yeah, man, you were yelling at us. They're like, like you're missing your arm. You think you're still going to be in charge of us. And I remember like an award coming up later in the Marine Corps about that. And I was like, I was like, that's so badass. I don't even remember that. But I do think I would be yelling at you guys like get on the

You do pushups because you still like the fuck sorry You're still a dickhead dude. Yeah, I can't believe you're yelling at us like and I'll be like we thought you were gonna do like emotional crying and I like you know thinking they're thinking I'm gonna die and I'm like yelling at them so it's like an emotional That's wild. Yeah an emotional thing that I it's funny like thinking about that dude who's like I was with the guy the other day and who was a singing veteran who's um

who's a marine, who's like trying to get into Hollywood, he's in film school right now, but he does like cinematography and stuff like that in California. And we're talking about like all these crazy little things, little moments like that, but I was thinking about him because like

Now i was like okay they thought i was gonna die that's why they were treating me that way they they were like what are you doing giving us orders still and but i remember like i was like i don't know if i'm ever going to tell this story. But i had i was since i was team leader i had two threes on my leg and i'm lucky that they didn't get they didn't blow up because people say that they need like 12 or 7 whatever rotations not to blow up but that's only two people that's only to arm.

Yeah, they're still a motherfucking explosive. You're like more knowledgeable in that kind of stuff. So because I've heard that but we did lose Marines to team leaders to them blowing up. Because you just need an explosive that is violent enough to set off the explosive that's inside it because that really it can daisy chain.

Yeah, so we did lose people from that and because people said first like that wasn't a risk But then we lost people from them getting hit unfortunately and them going off because the the ID was big enough for that But on all my two or three rounds I had a different ninja turtle on every one of them and whenever I got injured I had Leo in the chamber

And I remember like another team leader came up Baxter it came up to me and I was bleeding out and I was like you're trying to treat for shock So I was like thinking like how can I calm him down? Like you know cuz he's thinking I'm gonna die if I'm gonna die don't want him. Oh, you're actually calming him down Everybody think you know when your team leader everybody thinks you're invincible and I

So I remember telling him, like, hey, man, like, you just got to kill somebody with Leo, because I got Leo in the chamber. And he's like, OK, I'll get that. I was like, I love you. And he was like, I'll kill somebody with Leo. And I just remember, like, later on, asking him about that, and he was, like, mentally disturbed by that question. Because it was a very rough thing. It was a very, it was like, yeah, I did. It's the darkest day of his life. He's like, what did I do? And you're like,

kill somebody with Leo. He's like, I think he has lost his mind now. That guy has never watched teenage music in the turtles instead. I remember thinking about that. Like whenever they got back, you know, and he was like, bringing that up. And he was like, so it was such a horrible deployment for them that I was just thinking like, just to, you know, try to take them out of the fucking darkness. But, um, yeah, that's how we survive a lot of the times. I mean, depending on your job, your occupation, but

we always talk about gallows humor and that's even in the midst of it it happens like you're in full combat you aren't blown off and you're still yelling at your dude yeah you're telling them to use it's just the perfect example of how we

bro don't put the tourniquet on my next shot shot shot so high up with an a.k. and you know they roll after certain amount so eventually had to lose his leg from the round but to be over like what you're in ideas like they got shot in the leg and but I remember his that he got it one of the balls in the target.

Got caught shot so high up and it just and it's just like you have to go as high as possible Yeah, when it's when it's above the thigh when it's above the knee and really because it's like you're gonna bleed out Yeah, so that's what you're told to do. Yeah, you have to do it and it's something that it's just like ah fuck It's it sucks to be in that situation, but now now is a joke at the time. It wasn't a joke I would that's like you're rushing him and you're trying to protect your body like I

you're like you'll thank me later dude yeah it's so there's some dark I every time I hear like a different story about that I'm like oh man like that's good because like there's there is there is good versions of that and there's bad versions that we're like people are able to still use humor and then there's like the opposite where people like panicked and

people died and because people will die from the shock. So that humor does save lives because I've run into guys where they're screaming when somebody gets hit and then somebody's missing their legs and then you're going to literally put them into shock because you're supposed to be calm and we've had people scream. But I remember the other day I was doing this thing in Maine.

When you guys set me up, I was at some cabin right in a country song, and this guy was telling me about one of his guys, had that situation happen, and he lost one ball. And one of the guys ran up and was talking about, like, oh, he lost the ball. And you're like, dude, in this guy is a nurse now. And I was just like, man, what a piece of shit that he would tell him that.

while he's still getting cast back that like because that's the first thing I still look for is my dick there yeah and then so that you know he did have that injury and the guy was like and so the other guy you know eventually became a nurse he was the 101st and he was in the clearing Iraq and I'm talking about how like this guy came up and was like screaming and panting like oh man your balls

and it's like and so the guy lied was like no you're good you're gonna be good bro like you're you're all intact and stuff like that you have to lie you literally you're like man it's you look great you're doing great hey just stay with me hey let's keep you awake you're doing you're fine you're fine dude you cannot show any emotion in that situation

Do you want to keep them as calm as possible to keep blood flow down which is which is kind of funny because I like anytime when you have Like if I was to get fucked up tomorrow on range day, let's just say And I've heard people say this before we're like this has happened to them We're like if if Cody's around me or he lies around me. They're like

You're good, bro. You're good. Like, everything's gonna be fine. You're good. Just like, let's get the fucking truck here now. Like, you're fine, man. You're fine. If you guys started telling me I'm fine, I'm... I'm terrified. Like, Brandon, you done it. God, you're so stupid. You're... Just hold on. Yeah, if you guys started telling me how good I was doing, I'm losing it, dude. I just... I love you.

No, no, no, no, no. It's funny with the dark humor element of that too because I've had people that like will make well make well they'll be irritated with the jokes that we make on the podcast and it's like you've never met a veteran have you. Yeah, you don't have dark like

Yeah, I think that the darkness, that changed so much, obviously, because of the military. And now, I feel like I relate more to people who are in anime and stuff like that. Because you don't have that light, because I think about all my idols, it's very hard to relate to people, because you're like, man, if I would have been in that place, I would have died. You know what I mean? We're talking about Marcus Aurelius and some of his quotes, and I changed some of his quotes thinking about it as because

you know, even in Vietnam, I would have been, I would have died. And so like you'd look at anime characters and you're like, oh man, like these are these people that maybe they weren't real, but they created this violent story that's easier to relate to. And, you know, sometimes it's easier to, to, to communicate in those kind of terms because it's like, you know, and, and if I was a Spartan, I would have fucking died.

I'm lucky to be alive in 2024 because the advancements of medical technology and stuff like that. Those chances of your DNA literally making up to that moment.

They've got all your family members up to that probably did war or something. And then you're the one that survives. Yes, you get blown up. But you're like, OK, at that moment with technology. Yeah, your DNA has made it millions of years to be able to get to the point where you could survive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. And now as a dad, I think about it.

holistically like that where I'm like, uh, our macro out because my dad was army special forces and he was, uh, he was, um, in Panama, Vietnam, Desert Storm, you know, um, and yeah, yeah. So he served with first seventh and third group and, um, he actually served with mass crime beneficiaries and, um, it's fucking just the Hano warrior, but I was like, he was such, he was more beast. He was way more decorated than me.

And I think about like how tough I was that I'm like a little bit religiously. I think about it like God took care of me and that I was able to survive that because me and my boys even talked about it like I don't know if anybody else would have been able to survive that because I saved myself. Everybody was like.

you know, who saved you or whatever. I crawled out of the canal myself. I lost so much blood. They didn't know I was wounded because I was in the front. And so, yeah, unfortunately, the person, my squad leader passed away because, you know, they didn't recognize that he was hurt. We were both in the front. And so I think about how tough my dad was getting all through all these fucking wars, unscathed. And, you know, all the training that he spent, you know, years, he spent 20 years in the army.

And for me to be able to get to where I am, okay, so some of that is just a grit from my fucking family having hard lives for years.

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Paid off and now you're now you're adjusting to it probably took years to get to that adjustment period because depending everyone handles trauma Differently, I know all of us have our own demons and how we handle that and it's PTSD either from military from policing like it just How you learned to cope with stuff? I I got lucky how I cope with it is

I don't have as much emotional response to things, but then I watch my buddies that did the exact same deployment. I see how that affected. I'm like, holy shit. But you, you like, hey, Cody, even Cody, like the new stuff you've done. No, like I talk about like now, after you're like, man, there's so many more combat veterans from from from being cops than there is from combat.

And so I didn't know that until I worked with some organizations, and then family, one of my cousins, one of my primos, and Houston, he's a SWAT. And now he's not a SWAT. Thank God he got out of it. But he was a SWAT, and his first call was, he was a sniper. His first call was responding to Santa Fe, and my little sister was at that school too. And his very first call was,

My sister was like a sister to him because they lived together, because we were really poor. And so he's my cousin, and his first call was responding to her mass shooting. And it was just like, you know, this avenue if you remember Santa Fe, but it was like 10 shooters. And that was his very first call as a SWAT officer. And like that's insane amount of trauma to be able to deal with that. As your first call, your sister's school is locked down. Did he stick with it after that?

Yeah, he stuck with it for like, you know, I think like seven more years eventually got out. He just had a daughter and he's like Unfortunately, I think that it's like most of you guys like SWAT tends to be too too same thing with the military. There's just um, it's too hard physically It's just too hard physically I think and the smartest people don't want to stay in they want to get out and be successful on the civilian side So it's just like he stayed with that after that, but um there was a

Yeah, I think that we're lucky because a lot of those people don't want to stay in because physically if you take it seriously, it's very hard. It's harder than majority military because the training physically side is like being in the infantry. And mentally, this is not the thing that we talk about. When we get together, the last thing we talk about is fucking drama or anything like that, but something I've always heard is

When you're talking about policing or SWAT or whatnot, the thing that fucks you up the most is that you're thrown into high adrenaline situations, high stress environments that are highly traumatic to most people. But it's not in the context of you are 5,000 miles from home. You are in your county you live in. So you don't you lose that safety net, Cody can probably talk more on that. I know.

That is, it's that unknown, the hyper-vigilance, and then walking up to each car, and you don't, it's the unknown, versus like when we were there, it's bad guys. We were like, yes, the general vacation, like the vacation, you're like, I'm gonna go fight the bad guys versus like, and yeah, like, because of dealing with people, all my family in Texas, another one's a police officer in Houston talking about it where it's like, that's your neighborhood. It's like,

You get home from a deployment and you're three blocks away. That's weird. That was your biggest thing with it, like policing. What was the hardest part about that transition going from like, hey, this like the bad shit to right back home with your kiddo?

Well, I mean, you know, you would go out and you would catch some fucking child or someone who committed a murder. And then, you know, I'd go downtown with John to a restaurant and I'd see that same motherfucker in the restaurant. After the hell. Yeah. Like I'm with my kids and my girlfriend. Like, oh, that dude's just sitting over there. That guy that I arrested for last week or that guy that I arrested for attempted murder.

some d.a. let them out on the streets and they're standing there looking at me and I'm looking at them and I have John beside me. It's like, yeah, it's it's home. Yes. That's the craziest part about it too is just thinking that like, oh, this is not just like thinking how many people haven't been caught for this. How many people have been caught and just made bail and are just out walking amongst you? Yep.

Yeah, I think that's why the attrition is so high for for for for cops and especially SWAT is really physical So it's like you see it when they want to get out of it because it's like you're just getting the worst calls And it's just that it's just fucking terrible like I don't go down the line actually It's like what was your biggest thing where you that helped you the most and breaking that?

This is a lot like this is we're going to talk about this before this like an entire month of veteran. We wanted to make November big on veteran months just like hey we're going to do good we're raising money for nonprofits like kicking ass and giving back to the communities that give us so much and all you all thankfully have done so much for it so we're just.

That's part of this month. It's hearing these amazing stories and then also hopefully helping others. It's like, man, I didn't have a way to cope, but hearing from Cody on how he coped or hearing from Sebastian on how he go. That helped me push through because at the end of the day, we do. We care about all y'all more than you will ever fucking know. Like, we are blessed to have to be in the positions we are

And to be put on that level which we're terrified from because we don't want to fail y'all but we try our hardest to give back especially during like months like this like hey fucking. We thank you and then you get to hear our stories and hopefully we can help some of you it's one of the things that I hear most about on sub which I think is awesome because there's a lot of people that like you know they.

They come home and then they feel they try to reintegrate back in society and nobody understands their sense of humor. Nobody understands what they've been through. Nobody even attempts to get where they're coming from. And then they just feel isolated, which I think that that's rad that unsubscribe is kind of filled a hole in that world where it's like, hey, this is like hanging out with the boys again. We're good at filling holes.

I'd say we're okay at filling holes. We're okay filling holes. Damn skippy. What was some of your like, hey, what was that big thing that helped you the most during? Like when you're transitioning out of being a police officer, you're like, okay, this is too much. You still have your PTSD, but was that shift for you? That's like, oh, this helps me at least call my nerves or anything.

Bro, video games. Come on. Oh, yeah. Never mind. Yeah. You're like, that's your decompression, which is. It's always. I think it's like most of our decompression. Is that that like gallows humor is the start to the and then finding video games that have gallows humor in them, which, you know, Hollywood making video games these days is gay as shit. But like, you know, video games always is like such a great transition. Like,

I don't know, just find a good headspace and get away from the world for a moment. Come home after seeing baby on the highway, catapulted out the window and spaghettied all over the road. Come home, just play some Minecraft. I just see you coming home from a very traumatic day, fucking Spartanburg PD. You're just like, huh, if I kill the hooker in GTA afterward, I get my money back.

Just going home or walking up to a scene. You have Minecraft music playing in your head. I'll make the best of this. John's like, Dad, what happened to nothing? Do you want to play Minecraft? Dude, that's rough. What about?

No, you you made me like a Specifically wanted to mention an organization create events. I just the people I wrote that we wrote a song dedicated to my unit dark horse creative vets. Yeah, creative vets. They they actually

They're huge fans of you. I remember when I told them that was going on this podcast. They were so excited because they wrote they wrote in a lot of famous country music songs. My people, John and Heidi, like, you know, for Lee Bryce, Craig Wood, like lonely eyes is one of the songs they wrote, but but they they help. I know it's funny because like you'll get this. I remember I got hit up by them.

through a wounded warrior project hit me up on a DMS and I remember just seeing the thing and I'm having so many issues get processed from the VA that I just told them to fuck off there like for me to help you want to come ride a country music song with somebody and I was like like I just think like this is like a billion dollar organization I you know

probably be helping people get prosthetics and stuff like that, because that's what people think they do. And I remember I was like, nah, fuck you guys. I don't want to give y'all any credence to what you do or whatever. And then this guy comes up to me in Nashville, and he's a Marine veteran, a Purple Heart recipient in Nashville, and asks me about helping write a song to just to tell my story. And my song was Dark Horse, but it was about my unit.

Just named them on my unit, but it was about you know my son my dad my dad's journey because like I think my dad had demons from all I mean he had way more combat than me and And like that I really love the idea like creative it so they they take veterans Vietnam veterans and and and you know and and and parts first responders and they they get them with people to tell their stories and I thought that was so cool because like

Typically you know in that space. It's like if somebody's asking to do something with special with veterans or first responders. It's like a fucking rock or Like a Spartan or something like that and that's good physically to an extent But like a lot of those people are getting out of the military or whatever, you know because they so much wear and tear on their body So it's like they're not you know, they're not thrilled Welcome. Okay. We're gonna pop fireworks next year. Hey 20 Yeah

I've heard some of those complaints where it's from friends of mine and things like that. They're like, oh, yeah. Whoever's in charge of me has decided to do a veteran awareness run where we're now forced to go run.

It's three miles in the morning to prevent veterans. It's like I'd you could have just let me sleep in Do you and I mean like it's for real cuz you go say cuz I don't want it It's like you don't like what how does that and I like to me that was really cool I did like they did have an arts program where they they keep people art and they and they teach them at a right songs and In theater like screenplays and stuff like that. I was like that's so unique versus um

It takes you to a mental space. I think that getting into the mental space is so much different than I think a lot of people do respond to the physical stuff. My cousin that was SWAT, he still does, he's big in a crossfit and stuff like that. But I think that's just because he's so young and he's still in the mentality of the fear of having to protect his family. And I have that too. I do train a lot, mostly probably because I'm disabled, but I think that

I thought it was really cool, creative, it's founded by a Marine, Purple Heart recipient, you know, Fallujah veteran. And I was like, I was like, you know, and he looked like you, just a really good looking guy, you know, big strong. And I was like, oh, man, like, go on, because it's trying to take you at home, dude. Just, you know,

Unsuspecting you wouldn't know this guy's you know you wouldn't he's not to me I have the benefit of having a fucking metal arm I said that I'm gonna speech somebody and somebody Responding to that where I was like there's a lot of veterans. They don't have a metal arm You know look like the winter soldier so like people see my trauma and that works Against me a lot like because that means that people were weirdos with me and they always try to take me to like the worst day of my life But like you know guys like that that are just going through the struggles and not having that

that thing that you know tells people you know what they went through whatever so i thought it was really cool created that space where you know partners people with country music

So many fucking times and these people to come out and it was in Maine and that's why I was like whenever y'all hit me up I was there and you know in the middle of nowhere writing a song and I thought it was so cool a unique take on getting veteran stories and they're big into Vietnam veterans which is so cool to me because my dad you know didn't get to tell a story because he was like

he's super quiet, didn't even, I wouldn't know until I, until I was in the Marine Corps, I didn't know how decorated he was until I was like, oh shit. You did all that shit. And I'm like, I'm like, oh man, I feel like such an idiot now. You have three. You're like, dad, look at me. Yeah. I'm like, I had no idea. You completed the tutorial. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that's really cool out there like because a lot of civilians forget about that war and you know he was drafted and so it's just I thought it was cool that one of their focus was that's what's crazy like that idea of getting drafted that's volatile during the military and then going special forces afterwards a lot of the guys I mean

You chose you were like probably I was like a marine. I want to shoot shit like that I like all of us had that image of what we wanted to do in war That is the time when it was like hey bud

You're doing this like you have no if answer butts about it and then to be like I'm gonna join the green brace. I'm gonna make team Wild yeah, it's like I talk into some of the guys that serve with them later on I was like oh like a lot of it had to do with Panama and the groups wanting to recruit people who spoke Spanish because he's I'm from the valley I'm from like five minutes from the border and He's from the valley so he spoke Spanish and he looked like he was from the fucking jungle and

And so I just learning from that, I was like, oh, like seventh group had a big Mexican influence just because of the wars in Latin America. And I didn't know that until later on, people teaching me that, because he was an instructor at the JFK Special Warfare School for a little bit. And a lot of those people don't know that that history is not taught. It's only taught in that school specifically. And so if you don't have access to that, it's not taught in American history.

Which sucks, because even if it's a little bit dark, I do think that it would be cool for people to learn about all those kind of like jungle wars and that kind of shit. But yeah, so it was like, when I tell people that, I was like, yeah, man, it's crazy how much more obviously like trendy was than me and stuff like that. But so many of those guys got pulled there, you know what I mean? And

in the army, because the Marine Corps wasn't really drafting people the same way that the army was, and then a lot of them stayed in and they were just like, oh fuck, I love to fight. You know what I mean? They're like, jungle, this is where I grew up. So I love hearing those cool stories of where people came from, specifically for those Latin American wars, because it was something that was like, I like thinking about it now. Having traveled abroad where I'm like, oh, America's got this really cool

diverse military where you go somewhere other places and it's like they all look like one thing and I'm like this is why we're so much better than everybody else because we have people that can do well I fucking did well in the desert I'm from the valley it's nowhere there's nowhere hotter in the world than there is in south Texas like everywhere like how do you do so well and fucking I've gained the jungle and I'm like a man where I'm from it's like way hotter than this

Meanwhile, you got a guy from Arizona, Florida, Alaska, Maine, Nevada, like everybody in one group are dying. You got these mountain men, you get these Vikings and you got these people that, you know, like, it's just, it's crazy thinking about it now that I think it's one or two Florida guys, you know. Yeah. Some swamp motherfuckers. And it's forced together and to work together, which is wild to, you know, have much options on your teammates. They're your teammates for better or worse and they're going to be deploying with you.

Hey, yeah, that's crazy. You notice he's wearing a berserk shirt. Oh, dude. I wrote this for him because like last time I met him. Well, you know what? The time that Eli didn't remember go on I had a blue arm. Yeah, that's right. I don't I don't see skin color. I see

that's not

And for a long time, I didn't like Berserk, because it was too dark. But then going through shit, worse and worse, and I was like, man, it's hard for me to relate to, unfortunately, happier enemies. And you're like, man, because my situation, fighting the VA has been such a big part of my life, and then getting prosthetics. And this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't doing crazy shit, breaking all these prosthetics, and then just getting into a situation.

And now i feel like i relate even more to like the darker anime is did you just say that fighting the v.a. made berserk tolerable by comparison because they're the possals that's right the v.a. is the posses like fucking suck their evil and a boy guts.

You're like, wow, I thought that this was super dark. And then I started dealing with the VA. One, and realized, this is really not so bad. No, man, it's, I feel bad. Like, I feel, because I feel bad telling my story sometimes as an American. I've told it so many times abroad. And you're like, because working for, for, for prosthetic companies in Germany and, and like you working with like all of these, um,

Brits and Spaniards and the Ukrainians and Germans and you're like you talk about how hard it is to get prosthetics from the VA system and they're like like it's crazy like we have this conception of how people are treated and I'm like yeah like I sometimes I feel embarrassed to talk about it but then you know like it I think if I didn't talk about it like I'm trying a big spotlight on that shit like we all like everyone that's why like Brandon one of the biggest things he was when he was

Having his Congress run was about the VA. Like, you're like, dude, why the f*** is this so jacked up? All alone, time to trim the old pubes. Either beach babe, are you ready to soak up those summer vibes and get the perfect beach bod? I don't have pants on. Yeah, I noticed. Well, you're in luck because our friends over at Manscaped.com have you covered from head to toe. With the performance package 5.0 Ultra, they'll have you looking and feeling good this summer.

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I didn't know, especially having a veteran congressman in this district, I didn't realize how neglected veterans were in, you know, West Texas. It's embarrassing. It makes me, it's embarrassing. And then it's in Texas, because you're as a Texan, you know, it's really weird.

Because you're like, I have so much support in Texas, just not from the people that are paid to do it. And when I told people, I spent years in between, I have a leather harness that I made. And I spent years in between getting appointments for the prosthetics. And I never felt so scared until I became a dad that I was like, I really need prosthetics because being able to change diapers, bathe my son. I never had that fear of being disabled until I became a dad. Where I was like, man, I really have to figure this out.

because, um, you know, my son doesn't really care if I'm, he doesn't know I'm disabled. He doesn't know that I can't do certain things. He's two and he can already do things better than me, especially when I don't wear my prosthetic. And so it comes from like a, being a Texan, it's weird because like this arm was made because one Texan who's like,

I call Tony Stark, because he's a fucking millionaire, George Schroeder. He's famous in San Antonio. If you've been outside to like Randolph and Lackland or downtown San Antonio, he made all of the metal structures or Houston. He made metal structures that sent for synergy. Obviously, he's done work for SpaceX, but wild. But yeah, he wants to ever be on.

Yeah, dude, I like he's not even in Texas right now like I he just do this guy I'll tell the story right before I went to the Ukraine I broke this on boxing and yeah to lean to the veteran thing I had a

Wait, hold the fuck on, just don't grease over at boxing. Who you mean you both looked up? Like, hold on, what? You guys? A car? Don't worry, it's a ten ounce glove. It's still metal behind it. It's a cuter. It's a guy. I think people like, why I train so much. I was like, where I grew up, like, I got, you know, and this is something that I like, I take with me now that I'm like, oh, it's kind of a weird thing.

I grew up in the valley, so to non-textions, it's like five minutes from the border and I got jumped so many times that people think I have PTSD from the Marine Corps and I was like, no, no, no. That comes from growing up in the valley, where I have this thing where I can't let people behind me

Um, and just always have an awareness, a situation of awareness is because I got jumped so many times. And so that played really well into the Marine Corps and like people don't, people didn't know that about me in the Marine Corps, but I was just like, um, where I got that from. And so I was having that mentality to train, um, especially being disabled. I never felt so disabled until I got into a couple situations where I was like, man, like,

people could like if they wanted to especially without a prosthetic really hurt me like just holding my arm and so um after getting injured I like um I always wanted to train with whatever prosthetics I had and so but I do box with this arm and um you know that's why one of the reasons it's so popular is because um

Nobody has prosthetics that you can fucking box with shoot with or whatever. Arms because they're so, they're so fragile typically, but I did break this one part that he didn't make. So it was a sense of pride of him that I broke it three days before I went to the Ukraine because he made this. He made this party came in. I love telling the story. I told him last week because he made this other part right here right before he left to fucking I think Minnesota or Michigan or something. But what's that part?

This there's a steel roller right here, and it's where the cable rolls But um he handlaved that I remember one of his workers was like um it was like did you just see and see that my shit? And he's like no actually just handlaved that and I was like I was like that's his dedication where I was like because he has all these people that work for him now and Yeah, that he that that's what we

I would love to talk to this guy. Yeah, George Schroeder, he's like, because you're from Texas, I got to talk about it at the Grand Ole Opry. You know what the Grand Ole Opry is? It's like a country music place in Nashville. Yeah, in the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. Yeah, next year we're playing, we're doing that.

Dude, that would be, I got to talk about this on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry and I was like talking about how bad it was. You know, getting, unfortunately, the VA issues are why I got this because I had trouble getting prosthetics. You heard my story and was like, I bet you I can build you something better than you've ever had before. And I did get to talk about it. So now, you know, having traveled to talk about it, you know, I climbed Kilimanjaro with this and ironically,

Yeah, dude, you can't just drop you. I feel like a lazy piece of shit. This is why I love individuals like you. If you make a excuse, it's like, well, I'm just tired. I'll get winded easiest. Homeboys just drop the bomb of I climb killing Majora. So this part specifically.

What these things were for this this was put on there for ropes because I was like like you like you Brandon was asking about like how much I use this This arm is so injured that I get scared to overuse it because it'll wear out if I use it too much So here's where I put the ropes

And I told him like, before I went to Kilimanjaro, I told him like, if you build me this, like I'm gonna let you know right now, I'm gonna be put my life on the line. No, I told him I was like, I'm gonna rely on it. So like whatever you do, like just no pressure, but I will rely on it to the point where I'll put ropes around it and trust my life with it. So I put the ropes here around here and this is steel. And so people are like, why? Cause there's like fallout and people said that it looks like the armor from fallout. Oh, it looks like the, what's the suits, the?

Yeah, and I was like that was specifically for Kilimanjaro and But it's so funny cuz like some of the scratches I have from here are from the obsidian on on Kilimanjaro and that shit cut right through Oh, yeah, yeah, it cuts right through that But this part was specifically for mountain climbing so I could put the ropes here So I could pool because I'm so strong in this side that that's where I would put the ropes and

But that was like one of the first things that I did. I brought multiple prosthetics and I broke my bionic prosthetic like the first day because it was raining and I didn't even think about the fact that I tried to make it, modify it to be rain proof, but the bionics, they're not remotely waterproof. And so I broke it, I had it on my pack and I fucking, and I left it there at the base camp because I broke it and I was like, oh man, I can't believe I broke it the first day.

And so but I had this arm and I didn't know it was gonna be so tough and I finished the I finished them Kilimanjar with it and I feel bad sometimes talking about Kilimanjar because we did lose half of our team like half the team didn't make it and Like did it make it to the top or die? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

We had a couple of APTs. This was with the organization that they helped first responders specifically like law enforcement and firefighters and military, and they'll take them on trips like that.

But, you know, like, you know, whenever you do things like that, it is to each their own, like how much training you do. And obviously, it wouldn't be a challenge if people weren't able to, you know, if it wasn't difficult, people would, you know, do it. So we had a double amputee that he didn't finish, and then we had Noah Galloway. He's a famous, he was on dance with the stars. He didn't make it, and it sucks because it was just the prosthetic limitations.

And um, that's what's crazy. He had an experimental knee. He had experimental knee that Autobot sent him. Oh, he was above me. Above me. Yeah, which is crazy. And they're just now refining that show. Yeah, dude. It's crazy. Like the how recent you bone into the like titanium yet. Also like Derek. Yeah, dude. Those are some of the Derek's one of the first ones. I think crispy. I don't know if no crispy doesn't have it, but I remember talking to these guys and this is as of

the last five years, they're the first ones having this integrated into their bones. Like Eric's show was super experimental. That was terrible. Yeah. People ask me about that all the time. And I'm like, no, I'm too, I'm too, too, too young and too active because I know so many of it's such a small niche community that I was like, it wasn't worth the risk because I already had so many experimental sort of experimental surgeries that I was like, I do have a really short amputation. So they, that's why they asked me because they're like, I know you can barely use prosthetic because your amputation is so high.

But I was like, I spent such a long time in the hospital that I was like, I just want to move on with my life. And I know he's had a lot of issues with it too. And it sucks, but that's the people making progress. They're trying because yeah, there's nowhere else to test it. Dude, like here in Texas, I'm so proud of this and some of the stuff that I've been able to do with it. I went to the Ukraine to talk about it because all their soldiers were hitting me up on YouTube and TikTok about it.

and, like, because people, I remember Logan brought up to me Neuralink, and I was like, before Tesla started getting into prosthetic space, like two months ago. So before they just jumped into it, I actually moved to Austin specifically for prosthetics.

I was like I was like man because it sucked I didn't know such I if I would have realized earlier Such a part of my life was going to be about prosthetics. I would have done things differently because I first I was like if I get into prosthetics because people wanted me to get in prosthetics I was like I won't really have recovered because then so much of my life will be dedicated to The the injury and then because because of where legs were I really thought I

that arms would be that same thing. You know, like plug and play, a lot of legs are so tough that people are not special forces were the first people to get the best legs. Auto Bach made them. And I was telling Brandon before we started about the best leg was actually from a company that I worked with before.

I still have really, really, they hired me and I worked for them in Berlin for an opportunity campaign and for just consultation. And the best knee in the world is metal and it's made by them but it was made through DARPA.

as a program with DARPA and so people are like, where did this super advanced D come from? And it's referenced a lot because we compared this to that. Well, the crazy part is what you told me before that, while we were talking about it was why they developed it.

Yeah. So there was like, there was like three guys. You probably know them. I think one of them was Nick. He messes my Instagram. Um, uh, it was specifically for special forces to return to duty. And I'm surprised at all. That's like you got your leg blown off. They're like, Oh, how do we get you back in? I mean, there's such an investment, especially in the sports. Yeah. Millions. I mean, I think it's like 1.2. How much was spent on you, Griff? Yeah. Like for your military worth, for all your training you've done.

Yeah. Yeah, there's such a huge investment that it's like now that would be because now the bottlenecks an $80,000 leg. All right. Yeah, exactly. That sort of thing. Yeah, because that that like the arm that I have that it's like it's funny. The arm that I have is like two, two, two to two 70, a hundred thousand. And there's so much more expensive than knees. But the best knee came from from DARPA working because that's what

blew my mind and that's why like I'm sorry like I'm just like staring at this the entire time. No, I'm so stoked that y'all asked me about because like I'm so proud of it and we're like still grinding to get it more for more people because like I feel like that's the accessibility of that feels so superficially or just limited for no reason because that there's no reason in my mind that this arm should cost a Lamborghini Huracan.

It's insane, especially when you like- Where's the cost coming from, I guess. Yeah, like yours with- I'm sure you just made a great job. Yeah. It's just, it's blowing my mind like why this would cost him. I'm guessing the- Because you, we will- It's hard to figure out what order to talk about, because I'm like, dude, even the idea if you think open the hand opens. So, I brought actually brought, because I'm- Not a hand. Yeah, this is- This is a-

I like to educate now and just because I wish I would have known earlier that I was going to have to play such a big role in educating people, because since I was injured such a long time ago, I would have been able to influence people to... Shut up, Eli. To lead into that field, you know, earlier.

But like, like he was saying, I think that the cost comes from actuators and computers that are within the process, because that has like a, I think four, four individual actuators. And it's just that a lot of that you're paying for R&D. So you're paying for the R&D.

And so I think that the knees they're able to bring down that cost because there's so many more knee people. And just on civilian side too, because like a lot of a lot of leg injuries are still the survivor state side for traumatic amputations, more to cycle accidents, car accidents. I was just with this like celebrity softball thing in Dallas with the with the above the amputee who just climbed a mountain in Peru.

And she had a knee that wasn't waterproof. And we're talking about that because she can't get the X3 because it's too expensive. That knee that it's still expensive for most APTs. Even military have a hard time getting it because it was originally just created for people that were for sports guys.

And now they consider it so tough that they consider it a specialty knee. So it's like it's an insurance thing that even veterans have trouble getting it because since it's so tough, they consider it a water knee. And so like this, for example,

I just got in a fight with the VA about this. About getting a new prosthetic because they didn't make this. And so you try to do you like going to break the fucking thing. Also the knuckles like the paint job on the knuckles. If you could face that to camera, it looks like the the hot bitch from Atlantis, the lost empire. Hold on. Do you do you get the space cowboy thing from jet? Dude. Yeah. No, it's so funny because people call me that on on people call me that. Not even on my people. Because jet is his right arm.

isn't real. He lost it in a policing accident. Yeah, I got that from from from TikTok and YouTube people before I even got on social media, people were making videos about my arms. And I switched that because I used to, yeah, at the Hano Space Gal, but the Hano is just Mexicans from Texas. Like my family is from Texas before Texas was America.

and in Mexico and and that came from people calling me that and I thought that was funny because um because like just because I would work cowboy I work cowboy hat with it and people were like all like a space cowboy and I was like oh I love that shit it's red and um and uh

But just to get to the that is just like it's it's a fucking Medicare thing like the insurance. I think that um uh it's insurances and getting that cost down is like um part of it's they're not made in America and I think that um there was a bunch of young companies that there's like one side. Yeah, that was my big point.

We're so proud of that because this is not to rub anything in their face because I've worked for them before. They're a $4 billion company. They are the best prosthetic manufacturers in the world. Still, but having worked for them overseas, I was like, man, if you guys made things in America, not only would, like, this is broken. I don't have any working hands right now.

that. So I'm waiting on that to get a new one from overseas because they're made in Austria. So the turnover and getting them repaired is really is really high. But there's a couple of young companies in America that are making prosthetics to that level that are not plastic. And I think that

before I handle this too closely. Have you jerked it with this? No, everybody, dude, everybody asked about the stranger. Okay. Look, I just, I feel really weird. I think it's all over the place. Like, they're wanting to ask that. So people that are below the elbow have rubber covers and I hear that like they do try shit like that. But since I'm above the elbow, I don't have that level of control. So I'm like, I feel like I would just rip that, rip it off. Just guy to guy. I figure I had to ask. I'd fix this myself with the, um, just some steel cable.

Oh, yeah, shit. And so I was like, it's so jagged. Can you just imagine? Oh, yeah. No, that's a new, uh, what is that? Uh, they call that a Saint, uh, Saint, uh, the piercing on your fucking Prince Albert. There you go. A lot of people look to me for confirmation. Yeah. Why are you looking at your job? Well, here's the thing you did. You knew the answer. Which feint wasn't the jerk to his dick?

We always look to Prince Salmon for... Dude, that's like the number one question on fucking knives. Saint Bastabates. About that, like the stranger or whatever. And I was like, I know that there's amputees that have rubber covers. This hand, it's open, and that makes it easier for me to repair. So that's why I liked it, but they're closed ones that are all rubber. And that, like, I know there's some dark fucking amputees out there that have tried that. Because they've told me about it, and they talk about it. And I was like, no, like, not me. My injury level's too high, and like...

Do as crazy as the pay like to give you props for the art direction though like it dude an AK with this rap this paint the blues like Yeah, people I would put this up if you ever get rid of one of these we'll buy it from you just the hand so we can I don't think I can afford them. Um

You know, so that's another that's another issue that it's funny that you say that I have dude. I have a bunch of these Because the company does make them obsolete so plain obsolescence. Yeah, so like the pro it's a soft plant obsolescence obsolescence is wild good rock. Yeah, for instance, he sucks, man. It sucks because like

having gotten to the space a little bit traveling to like like I talked to some guys in Egypt and and I want to go to Mexico to talk about this arm in the Ukraine Some of the places that they're making tougher ones. They're making them tougher because amputees can't really afford them Yeah, like in America for instance you get them like once every five years

And so, yeah, so I have some of these. I did the art just, I call it Mexican camouflage because it's just, I just, like on this one, literally just camo because my other ones are kind of colorful. And I was like, I want an arm that I can hunt with and I wanna, whenever I was in Africa, I feel really bad in Tanzania. We got like chased out of this village and I felt really bad because the arm was all shiny and metal.

And I felt so bad for the group I was with, because literally our security was running ahead of us. And I was like, damn, I spotlighted us because my arm was so shiny. Is it like a cloak or something? Well, I was like, I had painted a little bit of camo on it. And then after that, I was like,

of the

of, I don't know if it's ghetto mentality of like, I don't like people being able to see me before I see them. You know what I mean? And, um, so like childhood trauma. Yeah. Yeah. It's getting jumped, especially thing, like, because the training and the boxing and stuff like that, the part that I broke before I went to the Ukraine, um, like I've always trained because like, um, especially whenever you're traveling overseas, I see you adjusting that every now and again. What, what are you, uh, what are you locking that in and out of and why?

Um, yeah. This is Italian. Um, break. God damn it. I think we should have the best prosthetics made in America. I think we do that as a goal of mine for them to be made in America would be really, really cool. America should have the best prosthetics.

But uh the uh maybe ever tiny ones of it that specifically for a long time we were like scared to talk about the the inner mechanics of the elbow because we're like worried about Trade secrets and stuff like that. But after talking to George the guy is like

This is so hard to build that he wanted me to the Ukraine is like give it away like show it to people Like his goal is to is to build it better so people are not dealing with broken prosthetics that they're like relying on to like feed their families and so like Open sourcing talking about it is um

this is how the elbow moves up and down so it's a pile on and so typically that would be all inner that would be located in the elbow so all my other elbows it's it's inner um it's it's it's not accessible to to somebody to work on but the typically plastic is typically a plastic gear

And so that limits it. And even sometimes the steel ones, a lot of prosthetics upper somebody are limited by the fact that they they try to make them look like arms to contain all of that movement right there. But the materials are not tough enough to do something like that. So like there's a metal elbow that whenever you try to make it steel.

is nowhere near as strong as a muscle fibers are so we don't realize that but like if you get a Metal pylon like rebar and you and you and you you like tensile strength is one thing but bending it there's nothing like

Yeah, it's like aluminum that's one of the arguments like aluminum over Polymers or polymer over aluminum rather like a polymer isn't quite as strong dude as aluminum Okay, yeah, cuz it's it's one of those things like polymers

Even though that they're not as strong as aluminum they will bend they will miss shape themselves to be able to fit whatever they need to in the moment and then they'll go back to normal shape or is aluminum will just fucking bend it will break it will be like being stronger lines bingo being stronger is not necessarily better.

Yeah, so once you break or fray carbon fiber, that's why people ask about why metal. And I was like, well, there's a reason all knees are metal. So that's like that gets into a really niche thing. But this was made specifically to protect the carbon fiber socket because I broke in carbon fiber sockets.

And carbon fiber is so uniquely fragile when it comes to like, so when I was in Kilimanjaro, you can see the digs of the obsidian into the aluminum. Oh, yeah. And it dug right into it. And it was funny because this was originally carbon fiber, but we converted it to metal and cut this part out because we were like, only metal where it needs to be metal.

And, but I broke carbon fiber wings because it's so fragile that once you drill into it, you actually, yeah, you should be drilling it. Like the guy who made this arm was like, man, I can't believe the VA drilled into this. Just splintering into your skin. And it's poisonous. People have no idea that as a material, it's really weird that prosthetics are still carbon fiber because it's dangerous and fragile, especially if you're somebody's using it for more than a few years.

You ever seen those pictures of the guys who like accidentally put the carbon fiber arrow through their forearm or their hand and the carbon fiber just splinters out in 80 different directions? It's awful. As soon as you split, have you not seen that? Yeah, no, I've seen that before. Yeah, this archer is doing that shit. That's why like if you have a

If you have an arrow, Eli knows now too, you just got an archery. If you have an arrow, you always like roll it a little bit to make sure it's not splintered, because if you let it go, it'll just, it'll suck and destroy your land or open everything. Dude, arrow, like, it is so much fun, but also you see those little things like that. Well, that's why the only time I won't cheap out, like ammo, you'll buy cheap ammo sometimes. Arrows are the one thing. I was like, you know what? I'm just spending.

I'm gonna spend a little extra money. So just in case it's not Opening up and destroying any archery event I've ever been to they're like hey take your arrows Just like roll them down your leg real quick if it splinters throw that arrow away because it'll it'll just fucking explode your arm Wild all I can think about is like

How easy it would be to put a gun in that sneak on an airplane dude somebody hit me up from oh no no. Oh that Is your brain go to sneeze on to an airport? That's okay. That's okay that you brought that up because I get violated so much for the TSA that I'm like I'm so used to it like really cuz you're brown the airport I do I know

It's the beard too. It's the beard in the Lebanese news. Dude, whenever I'm overseas, especially with the other arms, like this and all this motherfucker, I've literally gone through, especially in Germany. This is why you guys have a reputation. But they'll send me through the airport security twice and go to the back room twice. And I'm like, listen, man, there's a couple of guys that German Special Forces that served with us in NATO.

they're like cooler but like the security is like you get the terrorist treatment and it's like but um this arm specifically is actually easier to get through the airport because there's no batteries so lithium lithium is a real issue man i had a arm the blue arm that i met you with yep i got stuck in germany for like six months because um

I checked it in. I didn't know you couldn't check it in because it's got lithium batteries, even though they're completely encased within carbon fiber. Layers of carbon fiber. It got stuck, but this one, since it's hollow, actually it doesn't go off whenever I go on the scans because they can see everything through it.

Yeah, so there is a setup that I have that's shooting for shooting specifically that I stopped wearing through the airports because it was so hard to get through. But yeah, it depends on what country I am in. America is like the worst. Really? But not Texas. Texas is like people usually know who I am. They're like the guy with the metal arm. Like he's, you know what I mean? Like your home airports or whatever.

Yeah, but then because like getting airports in the US, if they're like bum fuck nowhere, that's the worst. Because they're like, I've never seen this before, like although Juan me spread my legs. And for a long time, I hate holding people up too. So I feel bad. So it's like almost better when they're like, take me to the pirate room. I'm like, I'm just ready for it. Meanwhile, they're thinking in their head, they're like, Mm, brown guy beard. You were the bad IED maker. Yeah, I swear to God.

It's it's it's it's useful, you know, I mean, it's like it's useful like I like being able to like even with a metal arm disappear a little bit because I can fit in anywhere I go And I speak posh to a little bit still to I'm sure TSA loves that. Yeah, no, it's not funny Yeah

Yeah, it's um, yeah, you there's no joke and I like no joke in front of TSA anymore because it's just like Yeah, they have too much power about it. Yeah, it's you're just really weird when you get stopped in American You're like this is of all the countries that I get stopped and you're like man This is like one country. They'd be like

You would think that would be easier to get through, but come with us next, right? Yeah, because in Africa, like, they don't give a fuck. Like in Africa, they're like, oh, yeah, man, like, you're, you know, you're disabled, whatever. Like, they're almost nicer to you because you're disabled. I mean, try. Go on, Brandon. Finish it.

Try playing soccer in most of East Africa without hitting a landline No, it's true. That's why I was there, you know, I mean like to talk about the amputees there, you know, for pushing me into that Eli. You're one of us

Yeah, ironically, the TSA, yeah, you're like, I don't know what the goal, if the goals, it is a little bit like, you know, obviously the Marine Corps sent me this fucking language school because I looked, you know, when I was in Afghanistan, they told me to tell people I was Persian, Iranian. Yeah. Yeah.

They make up a story tell me I like I had to make up a story About being being my dad or smiran and you know, I had three kids, you know, it's like big Yeah, this is going to that culture where it's like you didn't know that I was like a

That's a thing that they have people do. I thought it was just me, but no, everybody who goes to language school in the Marine Corps, and then Special Forces, that's all they do, right? They're like, yeah, be shady as fuckly about everything. But it is funny, because that is why they send me to language school, because my first language is Spanish, and I look Mexican, so over there you look a little bit. Before I was wounded, I looked at Middle Eastern. You don't look Mexican, you are Mexican.

It's just, you know, it's a fucking, ironically, that's some uses of the diversity of the military, super useful for that kind of thing. And there's history to that too, because like, it's their history to that because Arabs invaded Spain, and so like we have some language structure that's the same, but also looks, so like the nose, you know, it could come from that because

Arabs invaded Spain and they left like, you know, cognates, like, um, mez is, is, um, is table in posh to, like, Camise, a shirt. They left language structure, uh, for Arabic and then also like some of the words are the same too. So people are like, why does so many people, um, in the Middle East look, you know, Mexican and it's like, oh, it's like, it's because of Spaniards and, you know, colonialism stuff. They are.

Yeah, really same same genetically. We are kind of the same. That's, you know, it's easy to think that everybody's the same until you realize like history. It's like, Oh, no, all these places like there was a, you know, the invasion of the Moors and the Sicily, for example, if you've seen true romance.

It's history. I read a lot. You know, it's useful. It's useful because you get to see like how humanity did spread and conquer. It's like funnels that point to a place and then that goes into a funnel and then it goes to another spot. That's always where I've kind of had an issue with like the 23 and me, like the DNA tests because it's like, okay, well, you're Mexican. Cool.

Are you 2024 Mexican or are you 1800 Mexican or are you pre-Spanish Mexican? It's like all of human history is just a history of conquest and different countries and civilizations melding into each other. It's like, genetically speaking, which version of that country are you? Because if you go on 500-year increments, that is radically different.

Yeah, that's cool. I love educating, because I educated myself on it. Like, I remember, one of the only times I've ever talked about my story on social media was like, years ago on TikTok. And the day. Yeah, well, the Aztec God arm, Quite Potle. Like, I remember telling people that I said that I put that, the arm was, this is from it, that's why it's blue. His color is blue, Quite Potle. And he's the Aztec God of the sun.

and his colors blue. And I said, God of the sun and war with the boat. He's a very violent God. And I remember people, a lot of Christians getting super mad at me for saying that I thought my ancestors woke me up because nobody saved me. And just this light wouldn't stop flickering in my eyes. And my family's from Nove Leon. And they're indigenous to Mexico on one side and then indigenous to Texas on the other side.

And I thought it was a cool history because I was able to, I don't think like a lot of people know that like why. And this is me, I would consider myself Christian, raised Catholic, you know, my middle name is Father Lupa because they didn't know what Lupa in Mexico. But I was like, I people don't know. A Mexican Catholic? No.

Yeah, dude, it's like, people don't know, you know, like you have to educate yourself on how that history was spread. You know what I mean? That their religion was spread by the sword. And so people were like, I remember all this hate that I got from Christian. I was like, well, I can't neglect one side of my history and not like know, you know, how Catholicism got to Mexico specifically and all the gods, you know what I mean? And like, but all that goes back to some sort of history. Cause like Christmas, you know what I mean? Like that was a pagan holiday.

Yeah, and all Christmas Easter pretty much everything we see in a modern sense is yeah, it's derived from something that was hundreds of years before us Yeah, you get in trouble whenever you don't like because you almost always have to like educate yourself on those kind of things Whenever you're talking to people about that and then you have to like go from you know How much do they know about it? You know enough to be offended. Would you two quit holding hands? I'm so glad like

I'm trying to find dude. There's these so interested in some of the anime versions of Aztec warriors and gosh what's the color all and like all of them But this is one but dude anime they did really cool drawings of Aztec gosh. They look vicious Yeah, this is super art is a super big yeah, cuz even on my arm the spear I have 26 dots there the spear is supposed to be

We lost 25 Marines without attachments on that deployment and this is an Aztec spear and that's why I call it just Mexican camouflage because I just did designs and camo form and this isn't supposed to be an obsidian tipped lonese spear and but just I did like a camo rendering of that and But it's cool like art the art the art in Mexico is like super super

Unique and I love watching the like you anime watching it blend with like the japanese style artwork and then the mexico You're just like mexico get so loved I remember when I was talking I had that arm I had the leather arm in the Ukraine and I remember this Ukrainian soldier Delban P.T. Asked me about this guy in my arm and it's a manos about that and he was an indigenous freedom fighter from Mexico and

And he's famous. He's real he's real famous Mexican warrior and he's like famous quote of his like I'd rather You know die on I'd rather you know die on my knees than then you know live live on my feet live on my feet

fighting for a Mexican free he was eventually killed and he's got a famous bandolier and I thought my sorry I was backwards it was I'd rather live on my feet or die on my feet than live on my knees yeah I was like that is a sound right yeah I was like playing in my head I was like maybe it's a weird Mexican duty super famous all over you fucking Mexicans over here yeah I'm learning a lot it's no it's a it's a good goes by the way and I want to be like you

I wanted to learn about your culture so I went to home depot. I mean he can't be ashamed because that's the hardest workers in the world like now go in other places like I travel where I'm like I'm like oh man like where people talk about like me positively I'm like oh man like where I'm from like the fucking hardest workers in the world.

That's why SpaceX is in the Valley, man, because it's just the hardest, the reputation. Mexican specifically, the work ethic is legendary all over the world now. And even like, like, because you talk about like... And the grass is immaculate. Yeah, I mean, that's why I broke my... I broke this hand, rolling my lawn. And I was like, it was just something that's like a...

a work ethic that's unique that I think that, like, people in Texas really appreciate it, because they're like, oh, those motherfuckers are just, that's a cool stereotype to have where you're like the hardest. I mean, I built that harness, like, people are like, why I got into the process, because, you know, you can't really let people feel sorry for you so long. Even if you have valid reasons to, like, be depressed or whatever,

like, you know, that mentality of being like, well, fucking nobody else is going to do it. I'll do it myself. That is something that I, that I do take a pride in that, that culture aspect where you're just like, ah, I'll work other than myself. Don't be a victim. Yeah. Okay. I can, I can, oh, you have, you can make the excuses and you know people would validate your excuses instead. You're like, no, fuck that. I still want to work hard. I want to better myself. I want to better even what I have right now to,

like my day to day life, I'm going to make that as best as possible. I'm not going to quit. Which is actually one of the first times you ever came across my feed naturally was a video of you basically explaining you're like, yeah, people call me the Tohano, you know, winter soldier and everything. Like, this is so cool. But you're just like, hey, just a quick reminder to everybody. This is actually a disability. Like, there's shit I can't do and that's kind of fucked up.

But the ability to go from, you know, something that obviously was a very traumatic experience to having something like just taking on a life of its own and making it so cool and making the best of it that you have to remind people like, hey, by the way, this is, you know, it's not great. This was not my ideal situation, but just the idea of making the best of it to the point that people forget how bad it actually is this fucking rad.

Yeah, like the that came that came as far as like learning how to talk Negatively but positive because I felt like I never realized I was gonna have to educate people on the VA side of things where I was like I was like I don't want people to know I don't want I never want somebody to go through what I went through with the VA fighting for prosthetics I never thought I was gonna have to like beg

Because people are like, you're wounded in combat. You get everything. I was like, no, it's not that easy. It's been so difficult. And talking to other NPT veterans where I like, now I know how hard it is fighting the VA for prosthetics. And it's been become such an issue that I was like, I only start to tell people that I'm disabled because becoming a dad that changed my view of things where I'm like, man, all of the quiet struggles at home.

that especially as a guy in in New Mexico like a machista mentality like you have that thing of like my dad Super silent, you know, like you never heard him talk and it would never complain never talked Mexican this is a toxic trait too. It is a toxic trait man. It's not great for work. Give me the mix. I'll put it on my chest. I'll just it's You're having a heart attack dad. No, I'm fine. It's good

That we are having a hard time. Dude, I meant you say. It's great for war, man. We make great warriors, but and then as far as like advancing and things and not like passing on like generational trauma and stuff like that, that's, you know, I was like one of my things after my dad passed away and my son was born. I was like, I want to make sure that I like my, I think it's my angel that has a quote like if you, if you

If you don't tell people about your suffering, they'll say that you were happy. You know, I think if there's a quote about her, she used the quote like that. And I was like, so I wanted people to know that I'm like talking about it. Easy or something like that. I can't remember. I feel bad talking about like I'm like, hey, man.

This guy privately funded this arm, built this arm, because of my struggles getting prosthetics from the VA. Let's not talk about the fact that I've had so much, I built my own harness. I went years without appointment. I went years without prosthetics.

Um, it's hard to it is that it's extremely difficult to talk about your trying I know probably a lot of guys at the table and guys out there gals out there It is you don't want to have the victim you don't want to play victim you know and the second you bring up to be like now like

You feel bad about it for whatever reason. Complaining. Yeah, you feel like you're complaining in a military. I mean, you know, even in the Mexican growing up. Yeah, not fucking allowed to complain about stuff. You're just like, nope, I'm gonna shut the fuck up. I'm gonna just push through it. But it is awesome for the next generation, like your kiddo. And you're like, okay, I need to do this to bring a light to it because.

Like one of the biggest things, how long did it take for the VA to even start working on a prosthetic for you? How many years?

Um, so I would say two and a half years. Uh, so this, this is like that. This is a real issue because while other amputees whenever I tell them this, they're like, it's insane. I've actually, I retired in 2015. I, I've only had two prosthetics built from the VA since I retired. And whenever you tell that to people who know anything about who know amputees, they're like, that's insane. And I was like, yeah, I didn't know.

That's why this guy made this arm for me. I feel bad because I feel like a sense of responsibility talking about it because I owe him and just for other amputees now and then never wanting other combat with an amputees to deal with that. It's been such an issue for me in San Antonio. My congressman got involved twice and it was such an issue where they were like, I had to break that mentality of being like, because if you don't complain about it, that's fine.

But then like, you know, complain about it so hard to make things happen. And it wasn't until my son was born that I was like, I can't be disabled because my son, you know, like whenever he needs me, you know, and I'm taking care of him alone, I'm like, it just really, really sucks. I always tell a story about like changing diapers with one arm is so hard. I always.

whatever my son's mom's not there. I always wear my prosthetic because I need it to be able to carry him and to move him. And like, you know, toddlers, it's so scary. Like they're there. They have no idea how many times they put their lives in jeopardy. So yeah, they're just constantly trying to do it is terrifying. And like two year old veterans. Yeah, it's scary. It's scary. You're like, how do I make it this far? And doing that with one arm, it's like, like, I never felt the need to be

to mitigate my disability as much as possible until I became a dad where I was like, this is not just about me. I have to be able to get prosthetics so I can be able to take care of my son and be a dad. And it was just something that I was like never, I would have really continued to try to do it alone myself.

And actually, one of the guys that found me to make this arm was a special forces veteran who heard my story and heard my dad's story. So he was so upset by the fact that my dad served so many wars and the guy was from 7th group. And then a lieutenant kind of went for 7th group. They were like, your dad fought so hard in Panama.

and for you to still be going through this, I couldn't get, okay, so one thing was, I couldn't get prosthetics made at the Center for the Intrepid and San Antonio, which was built for veterans. And so there was a big thing there that I was like, because people like, people had no idea. Definitely down to build bigger buildings.

I didn't know to educate myself on that, where I was like, people are like, why talk about the VA negatively? Or I'm like, well, because these are taxpayer, people have no idea that these are million dollar facilities employing whole teams. And I was like, there's not that many amputees for them to be saying that they don't have the capacity to build prosthetics where I'm like, they love spending.

hundreds of millions of dollars to build a bigger building to tell you no one. It's like look at this giant prosthetic we build. You two represent prosthetic. Can I just get a prosthetic? It was like how can you dedicate because I feel like I have a sense of responsibility to talk about it because I'm like hey man.

Civilian side, they're not as fun as the VA, so I'm like waiting for weeks in between appointments to get it on the civilian side. This guy has nothing to do with prosthetics. He's doing it specifically to advance them, hurt my story, get into the weeds with me specifically just to make it arms or whatever.

For the future, but like it's so sad when you're like I tell people like why am I pushing the video? I'm like because they have a million dollar facility They have a fabrication capacity that small civilian side don't have and if they're not going to use that people need to understand that then we shouldn't be spent spending millions of dollars on those facilities because There's not that many combat wounded APTs for them to be like to because they I got turned down justifies

So why do you have the facilities that are just million dollar like Audie Murphy, the VA is huge. And people when I tell them like, I have the biggest, what's the biggest VA, which has been such an issue for combat with NAPTs to have such an issue getting prosthetics from what is supposed to be the biggest VA. And I'm like, you have all of this staff that don't do anything. And if they don't want to work, I remember taking part in study this year with the VA tech, with the Army nurse who retired and hear her telling,

I got like a part of the study to improve the VA and she was telling me about how she was an officer in the Army, a nurse in the Army, and she just got out and she had appointments canceled. And I had mentioned about me getting my appointments canceled for like group meetings, like worker meetings.

multiple times, and she was like, that's so weird. I have had my appointments canceled for the same reason. Just nonchalantly, two weeks for an appointment that you've been waiting six months for. They're like, actually, we don't have spots. We're working, the doctor's not going to be in the office that day. Can we schedule you for this many months out? And I told her that story, and she thought it was so weird, because she just got out of the army. And she's now dealing with the VA side of things. And now, helping on the admin side to improve the VA, she's like, I'm literally an officer. I work for the VA.

i get out and to help you know improve the act i keep hearing the story about veterans getting their appointments canceled that they had to wait months for because the doctor doesn't come in and i'm like and when i tell people it's just a work ethic thing because this guy's a millionaire this guy's a millionaire space six private company flying all over the world do all these different things for metal technical shorter metal technologies. Is this company specifically for that.

And I'm like, how is this guy? And then I have make time for me to make an arm. And then when I worked for Autobock, they're a $4 billion company. I've applied to work. I would work for them in Berlin. I would fly to Germany and back before I could get an appointment for the VA. And I was like, it's so embarrassing to tell that to a tech company where you're like, I can't get an appointment at the VA in time to get my arm working on my arm worked on. And they're doing this $10 million campaign based around me and my art on my arms.

And I'm like, it's so embarrassing. $10 million campaign. And they're like, look, it's the opportunity. They just want the photo op. They literally, it's just a photo op. So like, that's my smile. Smile. No, I just said big government. That's bigger money wise. Well, no, like, I couldn't get an appointment for the VA and the Autobok worked on my arm. The company who built the arms because they're like, listen, we need you. We need your we need your face. We need this to work. Private funding.

Yeah, and it's like, when the private side of things, it's like, because if you don't want to work, they'll fire you. And that's a different thing. I think the structurally with the VA is that people, when they don't want to work and they want to make excuses or they don't want to come into work, whatever, they, it's so hard to fire them because I've had, I've had so many better. I mean, even my congressman and my congressman, Castro, I don't want to talk negatively about him because. Well, I know he's probably going to go to jail.

I don't think he had I don't think he he didn't uh he didn't believe my story till I was like deal with the vehicle talk to them yourself like I'm having these issues if I'm lying and dealing with the days like yeah it's insane that it's taking so long.

and like i was like i was like yeah i don't know why why that problem is and i was like this is the best vase of this is texas like i have so much support here especially small figure built me an arm uh... you know i'm down the road and he has time to make me appointments a billion our company has time to work on my arm overseas

And I can't get an appointment at the VA in that time. Like, oh, I remember we did a year for an appointment at the VA. And I was like, listen, there's less than 400 comment wounded or maybe T's. And there's 10,000 leg amputees. Like, you guys have the most money out of all the VAs. Like, why do you guys have such a hard time getting people appointments? And I was like, it's just that I think it's just a cultural work ethic thing. Because people who don't want to do their job

get hired at the VA. So if you don't, like, because on the civilian side of things, if you don't want to do that work, it's contractor stuff. So it's like, they get work, they get paid per prosthetic. So they're like, as much work as I do, I'll get, I'll get that money, right? On the VA, like, if they want to take their time, they don't want to do things. And it's hard for them. They're like, okay, well, like, I still get my paycheck. Yeah, I still get paid every week. I said that, like, whenever

Whenever my son's mom was pregnant. I was like taking care I was going grocery store working Multiple jobs and I was like I had this arm. Thank God. I had this arm Everybody's like why don't you do more crazy shit with this arm like you know YouTube stuff? And I'm like because I use the work like I you know I I don't have other prosthetics and But I just remember Talking about like they don't care because they still have their two arms and

while they're not giving me appointments and working on my prosthetic, they're not disabled. So they don't rely on the VA. And it makes me sad that I don't care that my girl's pregnant or that my son has a disabled dad. They get to go home every day and they get to cook and shower and bathe themselves with two arms. So they're not thinking about that sense of responsibility.

The guy who made this arm is like, oh man, you're using to carry your son. I'm going to make it the best. I'm not going to break it. I'm not going to let it break. Well, that's the thing. It is that human connection at the end of that place. It's no different than policing at your level versus the random. So it's no different than if Brandon, you were taking on. You're already fascinated with that thing. Above and beyond, you would go to help. You're like, cool. You put a gun on it, but whatever you would do with it, but it's still your engineering side.

That wouldn't be my second thought. But it is that, like, actual having a connection. I think a lot of entrepreneurs, when you have a billionaire like that, he's like, fuck, this dude has his struggles.

I'm going to allocate my time to bettering this because yes, it benefits you, but it's also something you can roll out. Yeah, it's a sense of pride and engineering. The thing that's just egregious to me still is thinking about why a singular arm like that costs several hundred thousand dollars. That blows my mind because I'm just looking at this and like I'm still awestruck because I'm like this

if this was any other widget that we, you know, outsourced to Amazon. Like I look at textiles in the production and I'm like, I think a lot of it is the fact that it's not made in America. Because you're right. Like when I look at things, I like, I mean, like if some of the, because before I had this arm and that harness, I would work on like, I would buy tactical things and modify them to be able to use them in a prosthetic sense.

And I was like, man, if I could get fucking Nike, the shells that I had, their ability to make shells and stuff like that, and just to produce high quality products like y'all's metal, all of y'all's equipment, your mic stands, all this kind of stuff. A lot of that, it's manufactured in such quantity. And so that competition obviously makes things better. But yeah, it's just that there's not, that's why our selling point on this arm is that,

It's made in America and bringing that price down. This is actually cheaper than the other arms because are there any electronics in it? No, this is all hydraulic. This is all mechanically operated and I get to looking like most that's like five fifty. You probably can't see it on camera. That's like five fifty cord and yeah, it's so funny. Yeah, yeah, this is this is the that's that's the one that has all the computers in it That one has all the computers in it. What's the cost on this?

uh... so this would be right now just i mean forty thousand yeah this is for the forty thousands way more reasonable that when you were saying that a quarter of a million dollars yeah yeah so that one this is this is the issue with this i think is um...

You know, I don't really well, I guess I can I can be honest is that you be honest. There's there's no box. There's patterns So it's cuz I've worked for this company before and they are the best but so to give you an idea they bought this company they bought the company that made this hand and So one of the reasons that we've been careful about because we have been approached about making about somebody buying this arm and bringing it to manufacturing capacity in America and

And we've said no one time, and it's just because experiences in the prosthetic industry made me understand that people will sometimes buy patents just to take it off the market. Yeah. And so they're just not competing with their product. So if that's the most, that's actually the most popular experience with that.

So, yeah, can't say anything about that. Yeah, we will own that space. Yeah, so this is the most popular arm on the market right now, right? So they own 60% of the market share. And so in order for them to, the overhead is so expensive to be able to just change like little colors on that thing. And so for them,

All of that R&D, that gets done, people are like, why is it still plastic? And I was like, I can be critical of them because their knees are not plastic. Their knees, they do have a knee that's waterproof. Water isn't, this has an open circuit. So this right here is an open circuit. So people are like, I remember one time I was embarrassed at school because a veteran asked me why I was carrying an umbrella without arm at the time. And I was like, I got pissed because I was like, man, this motherfucker doesn't know. He put me on the spot. All these kids are like,

Surrounding me like I like I'm a freak because he asked like why I had an umbrella and it was an it was a navy kid and I Was like well, it's because like I didn't explain to him tomorrow. I was like I was like just it's because in case it rains I just said in case it rains, you know what I mean instead of being like fuck off I was like all right in case it rains, but I've actually ruined a hundred and ten thousand dollar elbow getting caught in the rain because they're an open circuit and

So this is an open circuit so there's no battery in this right the batteries in the arm and so this is exposed and order to get the battery from to move the actuators within the fingers. It's actually in the socket covered by carbon fiber and

I actually covered it myself, this arm. I made it tougher. That's another open circuit right there. And that covers the charge port and that's where I turned it on. And I did all this myself. Before I found this guy, I was like, I built all that myself. Yeah, because it was like, I want to do... Yeah, you people... I really like it.

Antonio Stark over here Because people are like why I am worth hundreds of dollars Antonio Spark You built us in a one-bedroom apartment

It's it's fun because you do it yourself and a fucking mix of mentality I remember like I'm an awesome now this guy came up to me to like a bug control guy and he was Mexican and I was wearing that arm and he was like Asking about all of it and I made it I made it specifically I worked I worked on it and I was like if I did leather work beforehand and I was like

No like i just wanted to be able to work i needed it and i had this opportunity of a lifetime to work for this company so let me build it myself because i wasn't going to wait on the v a because at that time i waited for a year for the appointment and um he's mexican and he was like all your mexican huh and i was like what do you mean like it's like you just build it yourself and i was like.

I was like yeah man like that's I guess like my dad was the same way like like you know what I mean like I have so many friends that are like they have like whole houses in their backyard that they built just because they're like old-school they're like I'll do it myself and I appreciate that like in our workings of that

It's especially again like you're a king cosplay. Yeah, you're like I watched it put some leather and make this dope as some of the straps that for specifically I got inspiration for how to put it on from animes because I was like in animes you're like how do you hold it on?

Because it's hard man. I accidentally punched this country singer the other day You forget because I'm so used to fist bumping on this side because it's weird being missing my right arm

And people ask that because sometimes the videos are like left or right. I switched them because of like, and bad hitting. And but he was like going to give me a fist bump. And like I was second nature because like everybody shakes hands at the right side. And so I took a swing at him because he was giving me a fist bump. I'm so excited. I was at this book, this softball classic. And you know, you don't think about it because you're like, you know, I did this to him and I punched his hand. And he was like, Oh my God. And I was like, I actually never punch with the side. I get so scared of hurting somebody.

Got some weight yeah, but it's just like because people like I do fist pump people with my right side just because it's like It's just everybody reaches to the right side. So it's awkward if you don't You know they mean like they get that you get that weird. Yeah the turkey. That's what I would say is the turkey

But what missing my right arm is so weird because you're like, yeah, I get so many awkward interactions. We're like, what do I do? And I'm like, I'm confused too. Like, I don't know what the fuck to do. But yeah, like I just kiss them. Thank you. Just like you going for a kiss. Yeah. You just get their hand.

Well like sometimes cuz like I get people like it weirded out there like do I shake the claw? I don't know why I just bump it and it's like yeah But sometimes like you know you get carried away that you're like cuz like you know my best friend You know he's a he's a big old guys MMA fighter He was with the 82nd and like I'll always fist bump him because I know I'm not gonna hurt him cuz he's like you know He's a big boy. Yeah, but somebody you don't know you're just like you know

It's a weird thing, right? You just brace yourself or whatever. Remember, I hit this guy. You also know the speed to go at a metal object with. Yeah, yeah, because I do do a little bit of MMA training. And I can only train with people who are not working. Yeah, how does that work? Like MMA-wise. Only good people. Only good people.

Yeah, only good people because like I remember I got asked to do this boxing thing and they wouldn't let me use my arm Which I thought was bullshit. What's wise like there's so many different things that are our obstacles for amputees But I remember thinking like they want me to box with one arm literally with no one like cool I can't protect my entire right side versus a guy who had it who was missing his arm below the elbow And I was like was gonna be able to beat the shit out of me like what do you mean like cuz he's gonna be able to put up a glove on that and just hit me and I'm like here like this the whole time and I was like I

I thought you guys asked me to do this because you saw me train with my prosthetic that it because I'm like just for an exhibition I'm not gonna hurt anybody like I'm just gonna you know just like point shit

And but one my saw gunner was the somebody how I have trained with besides my best friend But he because he's a really high level MMA guy and so I told him like he let me he's so good He's so much better than me that like I could throw full swings at him and not worry about hurting him You know what I mean? Like he's he was just so good at like dodging and showing me technique and stuff like that punching pads It's just like unfortunately

I felt better in the MMA space because they're they're so good with their bodies that they're good with avoiding things because boxing It's like there is a lot of worry about like me hitting somebody's head You know what I mean? Like but I do have a MMA hand that I trained with specifically That I would it's rubber, you know would be soft that I could I do train with the like not hurt somebody and

What is it? Is it? Does it bend? Does it? It's just like a, it's just like a, they call it a dragon TD. It was made specifically for martial arts. It's got spikes on it. So it's just, I'm just doing glass. I still put it in a glove. You know, I still put it in a glove because this right here, this is like one solid piece of aluminum. So if you miss somebody, you know what I mean? Like you, if you miss. Oh yeah, gotcha. You still hurt them. Six hypodermic needles covered in ketamine.

I went again. Yeah. So I'll use, you know, big gloves, big boxing gloves to wrap it so I don't hurt anybody. Right. But it does. That is the one I trained with. And I broke that, I broke that hit in a tree right before I went to the Ukraine. I'm hitting trees for it.