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    #180 TKP Insights: Learning and Thinking

    enNovember 07, 2023
    How does the physical environment affect decision-making?
    What role do emotions play in clear thinking?
    Why is the belief formation stage crucial?
    What is the Pomodoro Technique used for?
    How do unique groups satisfy human social desires?

    Podcast Summary

    • The impact of the physical environment and human biases on our decision-making and thinking processes.Our physical environment and biases can both hinder and promote clear thinking, making it important to consider the factors that influence our decision-making and be aware of the potential for biased thinking.

      The physical environment plays a role in our decision-making and thinking processes. While distractions and noise can hinder clear thinking, some individuals actually thrive in environments like cafes with ambient noise. However, there are certain factors in the physical environment that can promote clarity, such as the color of the room. Additionally, our intuition and preconceived notions often hinder clear thinking, as we tend to rely on ready-made answers and beliefs without questioning their validity. Emotions and commitments to previous views can also cloud our thinking, even among scientists. Moreover, the belief formation stage is crucial, as we often adopt opinions and beliefs based on the influence of other people rather than personal experience or reflection. The current political polarization has further exacerbated the degradation of public discourse, where facts are no longer considered crucial.

    • Balancing algorithms and judgment for better decision-making.Slowing down, using algorithms, and breaking down options into dimensions can improve decision-making by reducing biases and ensuring a more informed and objective evaluation.

      Improving decision-making requires slowing down and using procedures or algorithms whenever possible. Algorithms can often make better decisions than relying solely on judgment or experience. However, there are social costs to relying solely on algorithms, so it's important to find a balance. For certain types of problems, such as forecasting, there are specific strategies and training that can improve decision-making skills. Another key takeaway is the importance of breaking down options into dimensions and evaluating each dimension separately. This helps to create a more objective evaluation and allows for a more informed decision. Ultimately, the key is to delay intuition and not rush to form quick judgments, as this can lead to biased or flawed decision-making.

    • Improving Decision-Making and Learning Through Delayed IntuitionTaking the time to gather information and assess each dimension independently can lead to more accurate intuition and better decision-making. Using techniques like the Pomodoro Technique can also enhance learning and brain consolidation.

      Delaying intuition and focusing on separate dimensions or problems can lead to better decision-making. When we form rapid intuitions, they are often not reliable, but by taking the time to gather more information and assess each dimension independently, our intuition becomes more accurate. This approach is especially useful in situations where a board of directors is making investment decisions. By avoiding premature judgments and waiting until the entire profile is considered, the decision is likely to be improved. Additionally, when it comes to learning, procrastination can hinder progress. The Pomodoro Technique, which involves focusing intently for 25 minutes followed by a rewarding break, helps train the brain to enjoy and integrate the consolidation happening in the diffuse mode. Being active during the break is ideal, as it gives the brain a rest from similar mental activities.

    • The Impact of Exercise on Cognitive AbilitiesIncorporating exercise into daily routines can significantly improve learning outcomes and memory retention by promoting neurogenesis and facilitating new connections in the brain.

      Exercise plays a crucial role in learning and improving cognitive abilities. Physical activity helps produce brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which stimulates the growth of dendritic spines and facilitates new connections in the brain. Research has shown that exercise promotes neurogenesis, the development of new neurons, which enhances learning and pattern-building. Incorporating exercise into daily routines can significantly improve learning outcomes and memory retention. Moreover, finding a balance between focused work and allowing the brain to wander in random and creative ways is important for optimal cognitive function. While understanding concepts is essential, memorization should not be disregarded, as it helps deepen comprehension and mastery of the material.

    • Embracing the Unknown: The Power of Unconscious ThinkingThinking better involves tapping into our unconscious, embracing surprises, and questioning our existing knowledge, as true insights often come from unexpected moments of inspiration.

      Thinking and learning to think better is not solely based on logic and reasoning. While logic has its limits and can only take us so far, true insights and great truths often come from our unconscious and unexpected moments of inspiration. The power of thinking lies in the relentless asking of questions and listening to our unconscious voice. It's important to allow ourselves the time and space to tap into our unconscious, as that's where the surprising and unexpected answers reside. Surprises and anomalies can indicate that our current model or expectations of the world may be incorrect, prompting us to reassess and expand our thinking. Ultimately, thinking better involves embracing the unknown, being open to surprises, and questioning our existing knowledge and beliefs.

    • Embracing Surprises for Growth and OpportunityChallenging our assumptions and exploring the unexpected can lead to valuable insights and opportunities for growth in various areas of life, including learning.

      Surprises and things that don't make sense are valuable learning opportunities. When we encounter situations that defy our expectations or go against our logical reasoning, it is a sign that our understanding of the world is flawed. Instead of dismissing these surprises, we should dive in and explore them further. Whether it's in investing, politics, or any other sphere, the areas where things don't make sense often hold hidden opportunities. By challenging our existing beliefs and models, we can discover new insights and find potential for growth. This applies to learning as well - we should be taught how to learn and remember effectively, rather than simply being given information and expected to memorize it.

    • The secret to effective learning: rehearse the specific skills required in each domain.Break down the domain into sub skills, practice answering unfamiliar questions, seek feedback, and rehearse under varying conditions for improvement and success in any subject or domain.

      The secret to learning anything is to rehearse the specific skills required in that domain. Whether it's playing football, guitar, chess, or taking tests, the key is to break down the domain into sub skills and practice each one. Simply highlighting textbooks or rereading notes is not enough, as it doesn't simulate the actual situations you'll encounter. Instead, practice answering questions you've never seen before and search your memory for relevant information. Rehearsing under varying conditions and seeking feedback are crucial for improvement. By focusing on rehearsing the necessary skills, you can effectively learn and excel in any subject or domain.

    • Active engagement and strategic approaches for effective learning and skill development.To maximize learning, actively challenge yourself, think critically, tackle sample questions, express understanding in your own words, seek guidance, engage in online experimentation, and stay open to feedback for personal growth.

      Effective learning and skill development require active engagement and strategic approaches. Rather than passively reading notes or relying on familiar problems, it is crucial to challenge oneself and think critically. When studying, try tackling sample questions before reading the chapter to prime your mind and identify relevant information. Additionally, it is important to translate and express your understanding in your own words rather than just regurgitating information. This approach helps in preparing for tests where you won't have seen the questions before. Moreover, seeking guidance from mentors and engaging in online experimentation can further enhance your judgment and knowledge. Lastly, staying open to feedback and being self-aware of limitations is essential for personal growth.

    • Embracing Feedback and Continuous Growth in the Digital AgeAccepting feedback and adopting a growth mindset can be empowering in an era where learning never stops. Exposing children to diverse role models and finding value in different genres enriches personal development.

      Feedback is more prevalent today than ever before, with many jobs being measured or assessable in ways that were not possible in the past. Accepting feedback is a psychological hurdle that can either discourage or reenergize individuals. Understanding that there will always be someone better than you in various aspects of life, and adopting a mindset of continuous growth and learning, can be reenergizing. The internet has brought about a new challenge of never being the best, but it also provides ample opportunities to learn and develop. As parents, it is important to expose children to diverse role models who can serve as sources of inspiration. With age, the impact of books changes, and they become more disposable, with specific genres or subjects being sought after for different purposes. Classics are often read cover to cover, while not all books may be finished, instead weighing the value of continuing versus starting something new.

    • Enhancing Understanding and Memory through Engaging with Physical BooksRead with purpose, assess the value of books before reading cover to cover, engage with physical books for better memory retention, fold pages to aid in recalling important points, read extensively for quicker and more effective reading, and continuously build knowledge.

      Reading with purpose and engaging with physical books can enhance understanding and memory retention. Shane Parrish highlights the importance of flipping through books to assess their value before diving in, emphasizing that not all books are worth reading cover to cover. He also expresses a preference for physical books over digital formats like Kindle, as the physicality of the book aids in remembering the content and its placement. Folding over pages with notable information serves as a memory aid for Parrish, allowing him to recall important points. Additionally, the conversation touches on the potential pitfalls of giving books as gifts and the value of reading extensively to read more quickly and effectively. Overall, the key takeaway is to read with intention, engage with physical books when possible, and continuously read to develop a strong foundation of knowledge and understanding.

    • Enhancing Critical Thinking in the Digital AgeEvaluating information, seeking diverse perspectives, and remaining open-minded are essential skills in navigating the vast amount of information available online and promoting personal growth.

      Our ability to judge and evaluate information is crucial in today's digital age. With the vast amount of information available on the internet, it's important to be able to discern the quality and reliability of sources. Being a critical reader and understanding how to evaluate sources is becoming increasingly significant. To improve our ability to judge, it is suggested to triangulate information by consulting trusted individuals and using the internet to cross-check and investigate. It is also crucial to remain open-minded and willing to learn from differing opinions. Dismissing ideas we disagree with only limits our potential for growth and understanding. Therefore, embracing diverse perspectives and challenging our own beliefs can lead to intellectual and personal growth.

    • Thinking like scientists: Embracing uncertainty and adapting for better outcomes.Value truth over being right, be open to changing our minds, and prioritize learning from trial and error for improved decision-making and long-term success.

      We should strive to think more like scientists. Preaching, prosecuting, and politicking can hinder our ability to change our minds and find the truth. Instead, we should view our views as theories or hypotheses, subject to experimentation and reevaluation. Being mentally flexible and open to changing our minds at the right times for the right reasons is crucial. By valuing truth over being right, we can approach decisions and opinions with a scientific mindset. While it may be tempting to follow strong-minded leaders, we should be cautious of mistaking confidence for competence. Leaders who admit uncertainty and prioritize learning from trial and error can be valuable, even though it may be harder for them to get elected. Ultimately, embracing uncertainty and being willing to adapt can lead to better outcomes in the long run.

    • Balancing the Desire to Fit In and Stand OutJoining unique or niche groups satisfies our need for connection and individuality, but it's important to critically think for ourselves instead of blindly adopting group identities.

      Human beings have a deep desire to both fit in and stand out. We want to belong to a group and have a sense of identity, but we also want to be unique and distinct from others. This explains why people often join unique or niche groups that provide a sense of belonging while also allowing them to stand out. Joining these groups satisfies our need for predictability, control, and a connection to something larger than ourselves. Additionally, belonging to a unique group helps us manage our existential fears and worries about our mortality. While this desire to fit in and stand out is natural, it's important to critically think for ourselves rather than blindly adopting group identities.

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    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠⁠

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    #197 Michaeleen Doucleff: TEAM Parenting

    #197 Michaeleen Doucleff: TEAM Parenting

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    (36:42) TEAM Parenting: M

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    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠

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    #196 Brent Beshore: Business Brilliance and Happiness at Home

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    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/

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    Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/

    Sponsors:

    Shopify: Making commerce better for everyone. https://www.shopify.com/shane

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge


    (00:00) Intro

    (05:08) Why Brent examined his life

    (09:44) How Brent "fixed" his relationships

    (20:04) How helping hurts

    (32:13) How Brent was subtly controlling relationships

    (40:36) Why Brent stopped drinking (mostly)

    (50:29) How to run a business with love yet competitively

    (01:00:34) Win-win relationships

    (01:05:34) On debt

    (01:19:28) On incentives

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    (01:34:18) What most people miss about hiring

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    #195 Morgan Housel: Get Rich, Stay Rich

    #195 Morgan Housel: Get Rich, Stay Rich

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    In this conversation, Shane and Housel discuss various aspects of risk-taking, wealth accumulation, and financial independence. Morgan explains the importance of understanding personal financial goals and the dangers of social comparison, lets everyone in on his personal financial “mistake” that instantly made him sleep better at night, and why the poorest people in the world disproportionately play the lottery—and why it makes sense that they do. They also touch on the influence of upbringing on financial behaviors, the difference between being rich and wealthy, and the critical role of compounding in financial success. Of course, we can’t have a writer as good as Morgan Housel on the podcast and not ask him about his process, so Housel concludes with insights into storytelling, his writing processes, and the importance of leading by example in teaching financial values to children.
    Morgan Housel is a partner at Collaborative Fund. Previously, he was an analyst at The Motley Fool. He is a two-time winner of the Best in Business Award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers and was selected by the Columbia Journalism Review for the Best Business Writing anthology. He's the author of two books: The Psychology of Money and Same as Ever.
    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠

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    Sponsors

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. ⁠https://protekt.com/knowledge


    (00:00) Intro

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    (07:40) On luck and skill

    (10:10) Buffett's secret strategy

    (12:28) The one trait you need to build wealth

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    (16:48) Index funds, explained

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    (22:17) Your house: asset or liability?

    (27:39) Money lies we believe

    (32:12) How to avoid status games

    (35:04) Money rules from parents

    (40:15) Rich vs. wealthy

    (41:46) Housel's influential role models

    (42:48) Why are rich people miserable?

    (45:59) How success sows the seeds of average performance

    (49:50) On risk

    (50:59) Making money, spending money, saving money

    (52:50) How the Vanderbilt's squandered their wealth

    (1:04:11) How to manage your expectations

    (01:06:26) How to talk to kids about money

    (01:09:52) The biggest risk to capitalism

    (01:13:56) The magic of compounding

    (01:16:18) How Morgan reads

    (01:22:42) How to tell the best story

    (01:24:42) How Morgan writes

    (01:35:42) Parting wisdom and thoughts on success

    #194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap

    #194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap
    Over the last decade, therapy has become the de facto solution to solve all sorts of problems for all sorts of people. Everyone has slowly accepted that therapy is normal and a net benefit to society.

    But instead of helping kids work through difficult circumstances, what if it's just making the problems worse? That's what Abigail Shrier thinks is happening, and in this conversation, she reveals some surprising reasons why.

    Shane and Shrier discuss the real reason therapy is "bad," how we got to this point of acceptance as a culture, and what you can do as a parent to get back to normalcy. Shrier also shares her experiences with lifelong therapy patients, who should actually be in therapy, and the one thing that makes someone a successful parent.

    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/

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    (00:00) Intro
    (05:44) Inverse: How do we raise mentally unstable kids?
    (08:29) How we got to now
    (11:45) Bad therapy...or just social trends?
    (13:21) Being your kids' friend: good or bad?
    (15:55) The parenting type that raises the BEST kids
    (21:35) Is this all the parents' fault?
    (29:53) Is "Bad Therapy" a world-wide problem?
    (32:57) Talk to your kids' therapist about these things
    (42:09) The importance of facing adversity in childhood
    (47:06) Can we blame grad schools for all of this?
    (49:14) On technology and social media
    (51:03) Schools should "never" have gotten involved in mental health
    (54:43) Did COVID accelerate "bad therapy?"
    (56:07) How to return to normalcy
    (58:21) Why Shane shares negative YouTube comments with his kids
    (01:01:23) Shrier's experience being "cancelled"
    (01:04:13) On prestige media
    (01:07:47) Small steps parents can take to return to normal
    (01:11:02) Dealing with schools saying one thing and parents saying another
    (01:13:32) Why is the silent majority...silent?
    (01:16:32) If this continues, what happens?
    (01:18:19) What makes someone a successful parent?

    #193: Dr. Jim Loehr: Change the Stories You Tell Yourself

    #193: Dr. Jim Loehr: Change the Stories You Tell Yourself

    What if reaching the next level of success wasn't determined by another skill, degree, or course but by something that changed on the inside?

    That's what Dr. Jim Loehr believes, and in this episode, he reveals everything he knows about mental toughness and winning the mind game. Shane and Loehr discuss the radical importance of the stories you tell yourself—including how they can damage your kids—and how to change the negative stories you believe. Loehr also shares the best reflection questions to ask yourself to reveal personal blindspots, the importance of rituals for calming anxiety and performing under pressure, and how the best in the world use their recovery time effectively.

    Dr. Jim Loehr is a world-renowned performance psychologist and author of 16 books. From his more than 30 years of experience and applied research, Dr. Loehr believes the single most important factor in successful achievement, personal fulfillment, and life satisfaction is the strength of one’s character. Dr. Loehr possesses a masters and doctorate in psychology and is a full member of the American Psychological Association.

    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/ 

    Follow me: https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish

    Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/

    Sponsor:

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge

     

    (00:00) Intro

    (03:20) Parenting and storytelling

    (06:15) How to determine whether or not the stories are limiting or enabling you

    (08:41) What the stories world-class performers tell themselves

    (15:02) How to change the stories you tell yourself

    (23:26) Questions to journal about

    (26:16) Private voices vs. public voices (and how they impact your kids)

    (31:32) How to help your friends change their stories

    (37:30) How to better come alongside your kids to prevent destructive behavior

    (44:48) - (45:06) What Loehr knows about high performers that others miss

    (53:12) On time and energy

    (01:06:26) Conquering the "between point" ritual

    (01:11:50) On rituals vs. habits

    (01:15:54) How to increase your mental toughness

    (01:23:51) On success

     

     

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    Triggered Much? How to Avoid Extremes and Find Your Middle Ground – Sam Qurashi with Dave Asprey : 786

    Triggered Much? How to Avoid Extremes and Find Your Middle Ground – Sam Qurashi with Dave Asprey : 786

    In this episode of Bulletproof Radio, my guest is Sam Qurashi, a self-professed “unorthodox psychologist” who walked away from a psychiatric residency at an addiction hospital because he wanted to help people in a different way. He’s actively working to change people’s interactions with the external world.

    Sam’s now a writer and entrepreneur with a following of more than 700K (and rapidly growing) on Instagram. He shares thoughts, concepts and questions we can ask ourselves to interrupt the psychological patterns that keep us trapped in mental loops of our own design. 

    “The best way to trigger a change is to create an interruption, but how do you create an interruption that does not cause stress?” he asks. “How do you create an interruption that is gentle, that is a way to get people to reflect?” 

    His framework for growth and change requires that we question ourselves and consider a model of learning he’s developed called liminalism. He looked at the common approaches people have about learning and living in the extremes and realized how little they actually benefit our personal reality or truth. 

    “A lot of people live in extremes,” Sam says. “If you live in an extreme, you're limited automatically.”

    “What lives between black and white is not gray,” he explains. “It's literally the entire color spectrum. Balance, focus, flexibility, options, choice–that lives in the middle ground.”

    He learned how to change his own perceptions of the world by interviewing experts that live beyond the frame of traditional psychology. Our discussion explores the interesting lessons Sam learned from a pickpocket, hypnotist, cold reader, tea master, horse whisperer and others.

    One of the things that had him curious was how they viewed fear.

    “Fear lives in the future,” Sam says. “The future doesn't exist but fear just visited me in the present moment. So, if I jump, I'm actually racing fear into the future. If I get there first, I'm obliterating the fear.” 

    Listen on to find out how you can avoid extremes in your life, find your personal middle ground, and face your fears.

    Enjoy! And get more resources at https://daveasprey.com/category/podcasts/

     

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    How to make healthy choices: a conversation with Kim Alexis

    How to make healthy choices: a conversation with Kim Alexis

    Kim Alexis is one of the most recognized faces in the modeling industry. She’s been on the cover of over 500 magazines, appeared in six Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues and has walked the runway for top designers around the world. She’s written 11 books, both fiction and nonfiction, but is mainly known for her clean-living eBooks. Now in her 60s, Kim is a passionate advocate for the importance of making healthy choices in all stages of our lives--what we eat, how we take care of our bodies, what we put on our skin. In short, how we care for ourselves, mentally and physically.  Look for Kim’s clean-living column in Men’s Journal.

    How to find Kim and more on her clean-living research:

    Her website

    Instagram

    Facebook

    LinkedIn

    YouTube

    A few helpful sites for figuring out what products are made of:

    Think Dirty

    EWG

    Yuka

     

    Transcript:

    Debra Hotaling (00:04):

    Hello and welcome to the Dareful Project. I'm Debra Hotaling. Our guest today, Kim Alexis, has appeared on the cover of over 500 magazines. She's one of the most recognized faces in the modeling industry. You've seen her on Mademoiselle, Vogue, Glamour… you name it, she's been on it. And as a teenager I was obsessed with all of those magazines. She's a passionate advocate now of being mindful about making healthy choices in how we exercise, what we're eating, the product that we're putting on our faces, how we're thinking about ourselves mentally and physically. And it isn't just for folks in our stage of life, it spans our lifetime. She's a passionate advocate for this, and she's going to tell us more about creating a lifestyle around clean living. Kim, welcome.

    Kim Alexis (01:01):

    Yes, thank you for having me.

    Debra (01:03):

    So you are a passionate advocate for healthy living and this came from your own journey. Tell us how you got to this place.

    Kim (01:13):

    It probably started when I was young because I thought I wanted to be a pharmacist. So I had that whole thing of cause and effect that everything affects something else. I was fascinated with how that worked. Probably in pharmacy school, if I'd gone that way instead of into the modeling business, I would've switched to the natural and naturopathic way of being. But that passion stayed with me, especially as my business was looking your best at all times. And it's hard to do that when you're constantly inundating yourself with bad choices, whether it's what you eat, what you wear, what you think about, who you hang out with, how late you stay up, all that had in effect. So I learned that it was important that I had to take care of the outer in order to also feel good on the inside.

    Debra (02:06):

    Well, I imagine being a model is like being like any other elite athlete, you really have to keep everything fine-tuned, right?

    Kim (02:14):

    Yes. And a preparation is very big. So the day of a shooting, you've already done it. If you're not ready the day of the shoot, it's too late.

    Debra (02:23):

    But clean living, that word gets bantered about so much. I don't even know what it means anymore. Can you ground us on what that means to you?

    Kim (02:33):

    To me it means making healthier alternatives in all aspects. Whether it's what you choose to use as an air freshener in your car, or do you even need one? And it's because I've been in the marketing business, I know what products do for you. We are in this society where we want things quicker, more comfortable, faster, better, softer, stronger, harder, whatever it is, but at what cost. So sometimes products that give you that quicker or better or softer, whatever it is, thing also could come with some extra toxins that we don't need anymore. Clean living is choosing healthier options. We have a lot of different options. We have a lot of different products that do numerous things for us and to us. So sometimes certain products might be beneficial because it's quicker, faster, stronger, softer, whatever, but it may be at the detriment to our health. So my theory is that I try and stay as simple and as clean and as close to nature as possible.

    Debra (03:46):

    So it's easy to get down a rabbit hole. One, because everybody labels everything as being clean. And two, once you start doing the research, I think it's easy for us to get paralyzed. There are so many choices and decisions that have to be made. Is there an easy way to get started?

    Kim (04:09):

    There are a couple of options. One that I enjoy because this is all a learning process and you can't just say in one day, I'm cleaning up everything and it's a slow peel away the onion. So there are apps that you can put on your phone. I know of three. Yuka is one that's good for foods, Y-U-K-A. And then there are two that are good for cleaning products, makeup, sunblock, skincare. One is called Think Dirty. The other one is EWG, environmental Working Group. So when you are at a grocery store, any product you're getting, you could use their scanning option and see where that product ranks.

    Debra (05:01):

    We're in the grocery store together. Do you have your phone out and you're going through and checking product before you purchase?

    Kim (05:09):

    Yes, because I'm always learning. Everyone has their basics of what they always use. Start slowly and do some research. Let's say you're thinking of a shampoo. There are certain companies that are completely proven. Every product that they have is fine. So if you pick it by the company, you can trust the company. Others are different depending on what the ingredients are. And it's not defined across all boards. But there are some products that you can get that you can be very, no reliability wise, that they will never put anything in there. So that's one of their big selling flames.

    Debra (05:55):

    But really you have to do the research yourself, not just rely on a slogan on a piece of packaging, right?

    Kim (06:02):

    Yes. And it's sad because the word natural or natural fragrance or whatever it is, fragrance is a term that can hold thousands and thousands of different things. And another sad thing is that our FDA does not identify very many or ban very many ingredients and allows them in, whereas in Europe, they are much more particular about what they allow in products.

    Debra (06:26):

    I wanted to ask you about that. So when I travel to Europe, I take an extra bag and I'm going to the drug stores and picking up all the goodies there. Maybe it's just because I love all of those things and they smell nice, but I also feel like I'm getting more natural, fewer ingredients in those products. What do you think about that?

    Kim (06:48):

    Well, let's keep in the states for right now. I was using this hand soap forever, and I just love the smell. I did the scan on that and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's a six now. A zero is good, 10 is awful. And it was like a six. And so I'm like, oh no. I thought I was doing a good thing. I thought it smelled good and natural, but it was not. So you may have to get your little scanner out and see, but products we buy again for that emotional thing or it brings back a memory of being in Europe and you had such good time. And so at what cost do you change your lifestyle? If you really love the smell and it's that important to you, go for it. Just stay healthier somewhere else in another area.

    Debra (07:37):

    How do you do it for recipes? Let's talk about food now for a little bit. How do you do this without it costing a million dollars, without having to throw everything out that you have already in your kitchen and starting over again? Are there steps that people can take?

    Kim (07:55):

    Probably with what you feel is most important or what you use most. If you're baking, flour is probably your basic ingredient. And there are many alternatives to flour. Some are very, very expensive. Others are just a matter of tweaking one small thing. But again, what's at what cost? Do you want to spend more money down the road in the hospital or are you going to feel better and live longer and have a better quality of life now? And I do believe that our food does make a difference.

    Debra (08:29):

    Do you have a garden?

    Kim (08:32):

    I have a garden, but it doesn't do very well. It's too far away from the house. I forget that it's there. So the poor thing struggles along.

    Debra (08:43):

    I like to think about gardens, but I bet you I spend a gazillion dollars on a garden that I could just go to a nice grocery store and get just as nice of things.

    Kim (08:54):

    Yes, yes. So again, where do you want to spend your time? Where do you want to spend your money? I buy beautiful tomato plants and then the tomato plant, let's say is $15. I get three tomatoes off of it, the ones that I catch before they get eaten. And I'm like, okay, those are pretty expensive tomatoes here to go to the store.

    Debra (09:15):

    Exactly. But tomatoes, that's sort of a pastime. I sort of regard them like pets rather than things you eat because they take such care in feeding.

    Before we got on air today, you and I were talking about hair. We were talking about gray hair because coloring is something that many of us do and you just have to decide. So tell me more.

    Kim (09:43):

    Let me preface: back when I worked--now we're talking 45 years--I don't mean to date you, but I started working 45 years ago. We didn't color our hair. I don't believe there were very many salons. All of the girls, we all were kind of just natural. So that was my hair back in the day. And as I've gotten older, when covid hit, I stopped coloring and I used Sun In

    Debra (10:10):

    Sun In!

    Kim (10:12):

    So that's what this part is now. This new stuff coming in is gray. And so one woman on Instagram was like, honey, I can't even listen and focus on you because all I'm doing is stare at your roots. And I sent back this video and I'm like, listen here. If that's all you can focus on, go follow someone else. I want to stay natural. The coloring gives me a massive headache for like 24 hours. It won't go away. It's not worth it to me. So I am going gray. That's part of the reason I cut my hair off. My hair was 17 inches longer. I had it braided at my salon and my girl cut it off and we're giving it to children with hair loss.

    Debra (10:56):

    I love that. Besides the cranky person who came after you, what has surprised you about going gray? Did you know that it was going to be kind of this flaming … I don't know … It's just such a hot potato.

    Kim (11:12):

    It's a really touchy subject in a way. And some women are like, girlfriend, I love you, but I'm never, I'm going to fight it until the day I die. That's fine. And I'm not pointing my finger at anyone else. Anyone can do whatever they want to do. I'm just telling you what I'm doing. So to me, gray hair is not a big deal, but some of the young girls are dying their hair gray.

    Debra (11:38):

    It's true, right?

    Kim (11:41):

    The hard part for me is the transition. So that's why I cut a lot of it off. Number one, to give to the children, they want the longer hair. So I wanted them to have as much of my hair as possible. But the other part was just I want to hack off all the old stuff because the news growing in and for some reason lately it's getting much grayer.

    Debra (12:03):

    Okay, we're looking at you. How far along can we, you have about a year before you're going to be full in, right?

    Kim (12:10):

    Probably, yeah, probably. If I keep this length, which I probably will. I'm going to have to, maybe I'll shave it. Oh my god.

    Debra (12:19):

    Alright, well keep us posted on that woman, whoever she was. She just went pale right now. She doesn't even know why.

    Kim (12:27):

    No, she stopped following me a long time ago, so she's not listening to me. I mean basically what my feedback was from women all over the country was, God bless you. Thank you that you are giving me permission to age gracefully myself. And I didn't realize it was that big of a deal, but it is. And women want to feel good about themselves and what's wrong with having beautiful gray hair?

    Debra (12:56):

    Amen. I was surprised how many people had really strong opinions about Dolly Parton being gorgeous and being up there in that Dallas cheerleaders costume…

    Kim (13:09):

    Exactly. And I think women who are secure in their own hearts and minds or who have wonderful mates and partners are fine supporting other women. Sometimes it's the ones who've been beaten down or whatever feel like they need to lash back. I think so I feel bad when I see somebody ripping me apart or trying to rip me apart. Number one, I let it roll off my back for the most part. But our business was one that was critical all the time, and we were always either justifying or it was an opinion one day and then someone else would have a different opinion the next and Oh, Darlene, this is the only way to do your eyebrows, or this is the only way to put your mascara on. Then the next day someone would tell you something totally different. So we got almost confused in a way, and then almost callous where it's like, yeah, right, just do your own thing.

    Debra (14:05):

    What's the worst advice, either in your career or as you've gone down the journey of clean living? What's the worst advice or the biggest misconception?

    Kim (14:16):

    I would say it is that you can't have any fun anymore. You're so busy with identifying everything and that you've got to stay so pure. But to me, I like the word simple and it's simplifying my life. My recipes are simple and I try to just stay as close to how God made things as possible because he also designed our bodies. So if he gave us and designed the food and he designed our bodies, our bodies recognize what it's being put in it. I think that we have a better chance down the road of living longer and better lives.

    Debra (14:59):

    You have a series of books that talk about a lot of these topics. You have one on cooking, you have on beauty. Talk to us a little bit about what motivated you to write those and what we should look for as we're looking at these books.

    Kim (15:16):

    So I think as I got older, I started looking around and trying to see how am I relevant? Because truly at 25 I was kind of looking for a new career. I had finished my Revlon contract and I had been paid to not work by being exclusive to Revlon. I wasn't working in other areas. So I came to a screeching halt and had to look around and decide what I wanted to do. And that's how I got into broadcasting. Then I got into speaking and I realized that I liked having a voice and that I had something to say. And so when I wrote my Amazon books, I started writing them as a term paper and I would quote at the bottom where I sourced all my information from an Amazon's like, Nope, that's a copyright infringement and I just want to hear your personal story. And so I kept getting denied, denied, denied. So I learned on the Amazon eBooks, I feel this is what I've been through, this is how I've learned. Now I'm writing for Men's Journal and I can go back to citing sources. And so when I make a statement on something, I source it and put a link in the article itself.

    Debra (16:43):

    Tell us about your work with Men's Journal. What kind of topics do you cover? What are you passionate about?

    Kim (16:48):

    What we've been talking about it. Anything to do with clean living. I've got 15 articles up already, but they go from using new fabrics made out of bamboo, which is a type of rayon, believe it or not. And so just describing a little bit of the history of that. I just try to identify a cleaner way or a cleaner version or a healthier alternative in how we live.

    Debra (17:23):

    Are people surprised what changes in their life when they decide to live healthy this way?

    Kim (17:31):

    I don't have feedback yet from people, and I think because it's a slow process of going towards disease, it's also a slow process of healing. But we do every single moment of our lives, we are either going towards or away from health, every choice we make

    Debra (17:52):

    Truly, and our whole medical system is based on you already being sick and people trying to fix you rather than coming from a point of wellness.

    Kim (18:03):

    Yes. The medical business treats symptoms and it's better to treat the underlying causes. So I don't feel great today so I've been slamming vitamin C and zinc and a bunch of different things. Herbs. I’m taking care of strengthening my immune system versus just treating the symptoms.

    Debra (18:30):

    What's your feeling about supplements and vitamins?

    Kim (18:36):

    You should see my cupboard! I'm always trying something new. I'm always researching, and that's what some of my men's journal is. I just wrote one on Indian gooseberry, which people don't know about. So there's just so much in my mind to learn, and that's where my happy place is just going online and finding out new things about a product or why I should try something new. I mean, I'm like squirrel, squirrel. I mean, if I'm in the health food store, don't talk to me. I'm busy.

    Debra (19:09):

    So tell me about Indian Gooseberry. We don't know about it. What should we know?

    Kim (19:12):

    [added: Indian gooseberry, also know as Amla extract, is a nutritional supplement/superfood that contains essential vitamins like C and A. Studies have shown that this powerhouse extract can potentially improve digestion, reduce cholesterol levels and support healthy heart function.]

    Kim (19:36):

    I’ve also been writing about honey, which in addition to being a food is also antibacterial, antiviral, you can put it on cuts. I’ve written about Manuka honey, why do you spend so much more on Manuka honey and what do those ratings mean? So there's a UML or UMF rating, and so all that stuff is fun for me.

    Debra (20:01):

    My mother-in-Law was born on the small island of Iria Icarus, which is one of the blue zones, and they're very serious about their honey. It goes through the seasons. They have spring, winter, fall, they have honeys that go through the whole seasons and they're used as medicine very seriously as medicine, not just for all the other great things that you eat on the island.

    Kim (20:27):

    Right, interesting. I know honey's very good and it doesn't spoil.

    Debra (20:36):

    I'm excited to see what the feedback is on your Men's Journal journey because I think that that's reaching a whole new audience.

    Kim (20:47):

    So I think it's about 70% men. They've got 40 million viewers, and they also own a couple other publications including Sports Illustrated and Parade Magazine.  It's a good group of people, and I'm still learning. I mean, there's just so much to learn when you start a new business. So I'm a little overwhelmed.

    Debra (21:12):

    Have you changed your eating habits or the way that you approach clean as you've gotten older? Are there things that you do differently now?

    Kim (21:25):

    When I was working, I was pretty aware of things that I thought were good, but I know one choice that I made, I used to buy cold pressed oils and I would use them to cook. And I thought because it was cold pressed, it was better. But then as I got older and researched and learned more, I realized cold pressed oil should just be used raw in salads and dressings or things like that and not heat it up. And so I was like, oh, I used to be so proud of myself, like use it and put it in my stir fry and heat it up and it doesn't have as high of a smoke point. So I want to get into that with Men’s Journal too. And the barbecuing, there's certain ways to barbecue. They're healthier than others. You don't want that black on the outside, the acrylamides. So there's just so much to learn and I try to make it easy and give you the history of why and then some healthier alternatives to see if you want to make that change. If you don't, then you don't.

    Debra (22:26):

    So how do we begin? What's one very small step we could do today that would put us towards this path?

    Kim (22:35):

    For me, it's looking at what you do the most. What product do you utilize the most? For some people it might be skincare or sunblock for others. Well, for all of us, what we wear every day, our clothing, what we wash, our clothes and sleep in with our sheets is something pretty much touching our skin 24 hours a day, unless you're taking a shower. So if you have too many toxins that are sitting on your skin from your laundry detergent, that may cause a problem. Some people feel like they have to throw those beads in to make your laundry smell fresh. That's not normal. What is that doing to your system? Or they don’t want static cling, so they're using dryer sheets that could disrupt your hormones. So I use those little wool balls.

    Kim (23:31):

    So there's just little things you can tweak. Cleaning products. Air fresheners, they put those little things on the vents. Those are not natural either. And you are breathing that in every day. So there are small things to become aware of. You start looking at products and you're like, ah, what's in that? As I said, it's peeling away an onion. You can't do it all at once. And as I'm still learning and I'm not perfect, but I find that I feel better if I do as well as I can and stay as clean as possible for my household.

    Debra (24:13):

    I love that. And in addition to your work with Men's Journal, that folks can start following and they can check out all of your eBooks on Amazon. Are there other places that folks can go to learn more?

    Kim (24:28):

    Well, my website's got a lot of the history. You'd go down reminiscing lane there with a lot of the photos and covers that we uploaded, all the ads, all the stuff that I used to do, write for two other magazines also. So I'm just trying to expand. I'm also developing a jail ministry, working with Dress for Success, and also St. Vincent de Paul, which handles homeless people and trying to help empower these women who are coming out of the jail system that want to learn and want to get a job, and what new things do they need to do and what mindset and adjustments do they need to make in their lifestyle and how they think about themselves and others to get ahead and be successful.

    Debra (25:18):

    I love that. We will make sure that all of this is listed in the notes. Kim, you have been really generous with your knowledge and information. I so appreciate you.

    Kim (25:28):

    Oh, well thank you. Thanks for asking.

    Debra (25:30):

    Thanks for listening to The Dareful Project. Please follow, like and leave a review. It really helps. We're on all your favorite platforms, Spotify, apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, audible, tune in Amazon Music, Stitcher, SoundCloud, and YouTube. And to connect, you can email me at deborah@darefulone.com. That's Debra, D-E-B-R-A at Dareful one. That's with the number one.com. Thanks for listening.

     

    Perspectives Unveiled: Insights on Relationships, Growth, and Confronting Biases

    Perspectives Unveiled: Insights on Relationships, Growth, and Confronting Biases

    Join Host Bruce Anthony as he shares invaluable insights on personal growth, relationships, and the importance of confronting biases in this engaging episode. Discover Bruce's thoughts on setting boundaries, finding purpose, and communicating in relationships. Explore his perspective on the significance of vulnerability and the impact of toxic people in our lives. Gain wisdom on effective communication in marriage and learn how it can prevent divorce. Dive into Bruce's personal journey, including his past biases and the transformative power of embracing diversity. Don't miss out on this eye-opening discussion packed with practical advice for personal development and fostering meaningful connections. #effectivecommunication #unsolicitedperspectivespodcast #LGBTQ+Issues #embracingdifferences #ConfrontingBiases 

    Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsolicitedperspectives2 to save 20% off anything you order.  

    Use my special link https://zen.ai/unsolicitedperspectives3 to save 10% at wongopuzzles.com. The discount will be applied at checkout!

    LIVE EVENT Q&A: Dr. Andrew Huberman Question & Answer in Chicago, IL

    LIVE EVENT Q&A: Dr. Andrew Huberman Question & Answer in Chicago, IL
    Recently I had the pleasure of hosting a live event in Chicago, IL. This event was part of a lecture series called The Brain Body Contract. My favorite part of the evening was the question & answer period, where I had the opportunity to answer questions from the attendees of each event. Included here is the Q&A from our event in Chicago, IL at The Chicago Theatre. We'll be hosting four live events in Australia in February 2024. Limited tickets remain for our show in Melbourne on February 10, 2024, and our second show in Sydney at the Aware Super Theatre on February 18, 2024. For tickets and event details, please visit https://www.hubermanlab.com/events. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Introduction (00:02:42) What Is Your Best Advice to Keep My Brain Healthy in Old Age? (00:07:07) How Can I Optimize Sleep While Working 24 Hour Shifts? (00:10:17) How Does Hypnosis Therapy Work? (00:17:15) Psychedelics in Clinical Therapy (00:30:23) How Has Your Podcast Changed Your Life? (00:35:21) What Do You Feel Is the Next Big Thing in the Health Space? (00:44:31) Daylight Saving Time: Is It Worth the Productivity Trade-Off? (00:46:34) Enhancing Neuroplasticity: Strategies for a 19-Year-Old College Student (00:50:17) How Can We Transform the American Education System to Be More Effective? (00:54:06) Conclusion Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac Disclaimer

    127. Can we be too self aware?

    127. Can we be too self aware?

    This is a question I have been asking myself a lot recently as someone who is VERY invested in the self-help space. Have we reached a point where we are too aware of our problems, faults, thoughts, actions and behaviours? Self awareness can free us from so many mental restrictions, it allows us to make better decisions, be a better friend, a better person, invest in our dreams and values. But at some point, we can reach a stage where we are too invested in self-reflection and introspection that it interrupts our enjoyment of the moment, can isolate us or even result in obsessive overthinking and rumination. In this episode we explore what it means to be self-aware and how online self help content might be causing us more harm than good. Listen now. 

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/ 

    Consider supporting me on Patreon if you enjoy my content: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s

     

     

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