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    106. Overcoming trauma and complex PTSD ft. Amy B Chesler

    enJuly 11, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Rising above adversity: Amy's inspiring journey of resilience and hope.The power of resilience and support: Amy's story shows that no matter the hardships we face, we have the ability to overcome and create a brighter future.

      Overcoming adversity and trauma is possible, even in the face of difficult circumstances. Amy's story serves as a powerful example of resilience and the ability to find a path forward. Despite growing up in a challenging environment, facing abuse from her brother, and experiencing the loss of her mother, Amy has managed to overcome these hardships. She has not only survived but has also become an author, a podcaster, and a victim advocate. Her journey shows that it is possible to rise above the difficulties we face and create a better future for ourselves. Amy's story reminds us that with strength, determination, and support, we can find healing and move forward in our lives.

    • Breaking the Cycle: One Survivor's Story of Abuse, Manipulation, and HealingThe journey of healing for survivors of abuse is complex and ongoing, with ongoing trauma and challenges that can persist long after the initial abuse has occurred.

      Jemma Sbeg experienced horrific abuse and the tragic loss of her mother at the hands of her brother. She emphasizes the cycle of abuse and the psychological manipulation she endured, where even threats of murder were sometimes dismissed as jokes due to the constant fear and control she lived with. Jemma's healing journey led her to study psychology and engage in advocacy work as she shares her experiences. It is disheartening to learn that the criminal justice system allowed for further abuse, with her brother taking years to be convicted and even attempting to hire a hitman to pin the murder on Jemma. This conversation highlights the ongoing trauma and challenges victims face even after the initial trauma has occurred.

    • Healing and Forgiveness: A Journey towards Self-Love and CompassionHealing from abuse is a long journey that requires self-forgiveness and compassion. It is important to address trauma, support survivors, and practice mindfulness in order to overcome the effects of abuse.

      Healing and forgiveness are essential for abuse survivors. Jemma talks about carrying shame and guilt, but emphasizes that none of the abuse is their fault. She reflects on the idea of advocating for oneself and acknowledges the belief that forgiving abusers is not necessary. Instead, Jemma believes in forgiving her younger self and acknowledging the lack of tools and resources she had at the time. She practices mindfulness and healthy self-talk as part of her healing journey. This conversation highlights the importance of addressing trauma, acknowledging the impact it has on mental health, and supporting survivors in their healing process. It serves as a reminder that self-love and compassion are fundamental to overcome the effects of abuse.

    • Healing and Personal Growth: Transforming Trauma through Self-Talk and AdvocacyHealing past trauma and using personal experiences to advocate for change can lead to profound personal growth, even in the face of unimaginable adversity.

      Healing your inner child through positive self-talk and acknowledging past trauma can lead to personal growth and transformation. Despite the unimaginable pain and trauma she experienced, Jemma has found a way to free herself from her lifetime abuser and has dedicated her life to advocating for victims and survivors. She recognizes the importance of using her story as an example to bring about change and ensure her mother's death was not in vain. Jemma's perspective on life has been profoundly altered, and she now navigates her experiences with a different mindset, sharing her story to shed light on the often overlooked aspects of victimhood. This conversation highlights the power of healing and the potential for personal growth even in the face of immense adversity.

    • The Lasting Effects of Early Trauma on Perspective and ReactionsEarly trauma can profoundly impact an individual's outlook on life and behavior, causing difficulties in various areas of life and potentially leading to complex post-traumatic stress disorder. It should be taken seriously and not dismissed as a "victim mentality.

      Experiencing extreme trauma at a young age can have lasting effects on an individual's perspective and reactions to various situations. The speaker's traumatic past, including abuse and the murder of her mother, completely changed the way she sees things in life. It affected her ability to watch violent movies, engage in relationships, and even attend concerts without feeling triggered or anxious. The speaker emphasizes that trauma, especially major trauma experienced in early life, is not something that can simply be overcome or dismissed as a "victim mentality." It is a real and ongoing state that can lead to conditions like complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD), which should not be solely associated with veterans but acknowledged as a response to any form of severe and persistent trauma.

    • Overcoming Adversity: Cultivating Perseverance and TenacityAdversity is subjective, but by cultivating a mindset of perseverance and taking things step by step, individuals can navigate through hardships and find growth.

      Adversity and hardship are subjective experiences that affect each individual differently. While everyone goes through some level of adversity, what may be traumatic for one person may not be for another. The approach to overcoming hardship can vary, but one important factor is having a mindset of perseverance and tenacity. This can be cultivated through self-talk and remembering past experiences where one has already faced the worst and come out stronger. It's about putting things into perspective and realizing that the only alternative to moving forward is not an option. By staying determined and taking things one step at a time, individuals can navigate through hardships and find a place of mindfulness and growth.

    • The Power of Self-Investment and Community Support in Healing after TraumaInvesting in oneself and surrounding oneself with a supportive community are essential for healing and moving forward after trauma.

      Investing in oneself and practicing self-care are crucial for healing and thriving after traumatic experiences. Jemma emphasized the importance of giving oneself grace and recognizing that there is always better out there. While therapy can be helpful, it is essential to find the right therapist who provides tools and resources rather than making one dependent on weekly sessions indefinitely. Jemma also found solace in exercise and writing her book, which allowed her to process her grief and connect with others who were going through similar experiences. Building a supportive community around the trauma, rather than solely focusing on the trauma itself, was another significant factor in her healing journey. Ultimately, investing in self-care and surrounding oneself with a supportive community are key to overcoming and moving forward after trauma.

    • The Power of Building a Supportive Community and Sharing StoriesBy connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences, sharing our stories can provide comfort, support, and empowerment, leading to healing and personal growth.

      Building a community and sharing our stories can help us feel less alone and make our experiences more manageable. Jemma emphasizes the importance of the people who supported her throughout her difficult times and the impact it had on her. By sharing her story, she has connected with others who have experienced similar abuse, providing solace and support. Jemma believes that everyone should have control over their own narrative and should not be used for entertainment or interpretation by others. She appreciates the power of sharing and having the opportunity to lift each other's burdens through community. Ultimately, Jemma's message is that being there for one another and respecting each person's story is crucial for healing and growth.

    • The ripple effect of one person's actions: Jemma's story of how her brother changed her life and influenced others.Our choices have the power to deeply impact others. By stepping outside our comfort zones and doing more for others, we can make a significant difference in someone's life. Keep a mindset that considers others and strives to do good.

      One person's actions can deeply affect someone else's trajectory. This was evident in Jemma's experience, where her brother's actions had a significant impact on her life and the lives of others. It serves as a reminder that our choices carry immense weight and have the potential to change things for better or worse. The power to make a difference lies within each individual, including the listener. By stepping outside our comfort zones and doing more for others, whether it's offering support or showing kindness, we can make a significant difference in someone's life. Overcoming adversity and hardship is possible, and it's important to keep a mindset that considers others and strives to do good in the world.

    • The Ethics of Consuming True Crime Content and the Importance of Victim ConsiderationIt is crucial to be mindful of how we consume media, specifically in the true crime genre, to ensure the well-being and respect for the victims involved.

      Consuming media, especially true crime content, requires a conscious effort to be ethical. The interviewee emphasizes the importance of being mindful of how we consume media and the impact it can have on victims. She commends the host for creating a safe space for victims to share their stories and for contributing to the conversation on ethics in the true crime genre. The interviewee also promotes her own podcast and book, which aim to give victims a voice and shed light on the aftermath of trauma. Overall, this conversation highlights the need to approach media consumption with sensitivity and consideration for those affected by the stories being shared.

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